Holds Me Together
by H.J. Glory
Summary: Sequel to ‘That Summer’. Luke, Grace, Adam and Joan struggle to make it through their first year of college. Can they survive school, roommates, new friends,enemies, each other and more?FINISHED.
1. Friday, I'm In Love

**Holds Me Together  
Rating: T-M Just in case  
Summary: **Sequel to 'That Summer'. Luke, Grace, Adam and Joan struggle to make it through their first year of college. Can they survive school, roommates, news friends/enemies, each other and more?**  
Disclaimer: **At this point do I really need to write more then 'disclaimer' for you to know that I own only the new unheard of characters?**  
A/N: **It should be noted that I have never been to Stanford, Harvard or MIT, so anything I get wrong…I'm sorry!**  
Shout outs: **In no particular order – Sam, AudreyF., Laura, Butterfly Dancing, peachteach, Jane And Adam, poeticrebel, KJFlygirl87, sayxanything, yourcrazything, American Idiot, TJ-TeeJay, Kool-Wolf, Kristin, Ange, Angie, JesskaLovesYou, ProcrastinationQueen, and gqfan4life11. Thanks for the reads and reviews on T.S.  
**A/N 2: **Sorry for typos, piss poor proofreading. I'll fix typos later. It's late at night so I'm sure there are tons of them. I made this long to set everything up. Hope you like. Let me know if it sucks okay? Also, the title is from the song "Holdin' You" By Gretchen Wilson, FYI.

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Chapter 1 – Friday, I'm In Love  
**

"Knock, knock ladies!" Tristan said, using one hand to knock on the door while holding three pizza boxes in the other with white Styrofoam containers of French fries on top of them. He grinned widely as he entered the room through the already open door to see Joan and Johana sprawled on the old couch that was under Johana's lofted bed, facing the TV that was in the corner. They had their legs up on a footlocker that was doubling as a coffee table. The girls were currently watching the tail end of a horror movie, leaning against each other. "I've got your pizza, and some fries right here baby!" Tristan said with a laugh only a skater or surfer would use.

"Cha, I totally have the drinks and the M&M's, yo. That's so much better than pizza and fries…" Adam followed.

"Depends on what's on the pizza." Joan said, standing to stretch, and clear the couch, knowing Tristan wanted to flop next to Johana.

"Extra garlic." Adam, Johana and Tristan chorused as Tristan sat himself next to Johana, who promptly reached out like a little kid for a box of fries to dig into. Joan smiled. Two weeks in and Johana and Tristan knew her well enough to know that _no_ pizza was complete without extra garlic.

"Sorry Adam…extra garlic, I'm Italian…it's in my blood to gravitate to the garlic…" Joan turned for the pizza. Adam wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, resulting in Joan leaning over at the waist and leaning longingly for a slice of pizza with her arms outstretched. "Oof…hey…garlic…" Joan pouted. Adam reached into his pocket and pulled out a ziplock baggie.

"Freshly chopped, special order from Sammy's Pie." He grinned. "Because what Italian of mine wouldn't want more garlic to put on her extra garlic pizza?" Joan squealed, turning around and wrapping her arms around Adam's neck before kissing him.

"Get a room garlic queen!" Johana tossed a wadded napkin at them. Joan turned her head, leaning slightly with Adam still holding onto her.

"This is my room." She stuck her tongue out at Johana playfully.

"Ohh, okay, enough, we got the food and the drinks and the sugar rush junk, now let's get down to it." Tristan interjected.

"Oh, right…we have the movies." Joan wriggled out of Adam's grasp and headed for her desk. Adam settled into the oversized beanbag that was at the corner of the couch and flopped himself down.

"So do you like the taste of garlic that much, Adam?" Johana asked.

"Cha…not as much as Jane." He obviously didn't get what Johana meant. "Wait…why?" He asked.

"Because if she eats that much of it, she's got to taste like it." Johana said it loud enough to assure that Joan heard her.

"Hey, some of us brush our teeth…" Joan teased back. "A-ha! Here they are!" She located the three DVDs. Just then Colby bustled into the room with shopping bags, wearing a miniskirt and a top that resembled either a bikini top or a bra.

"Oh…the motley crew is at it again huh?" She sighed as she put her bags over in her corner, making sure to glance distrustfully in Tristan and Johana's direction. She wrinkled her nose at the smell of the pizza and garlic.

"Hey Colby," Joan said cheerfully. "We're just digging in, junk food galore and some movies for the night. Care to join? Grace us with your presence?"

Colby scoffed and snickered. "Please…on a Friday night?" All four faces looked at her. "What…are you hermits? There are how many parties to attend around here?" Colby supplied.

"I, Uhm, yeah, not much of a drinker." Adam nodded, tight lipped from the beanbag chair. Colby made a face at him.

"Well I was talking about you, Space cadet." She said. She turned to Joan. "I'm heading to Dixie's room. We're leaving in half an hour. I can come back to get you if you want to join? We're going to make appearances at three frat parties tonight." Colby's peppy excitement returned as she ignored everyone but Joan. Joan slowly shook her head, remembering Judith, and the worst party of her life.

"You know, I think I'll pass tonight Colby." She said, opening her eyes, but still smiling. "Uhm, thanks, though."

"Oh, come _on_, Joanie!" Colby said. Tristan lightly reached out ant tapped Adam's shoulder, but exchanging suspicion glances. Joan offered a tight-lipped grin.

"No, no, I'm all right." Joan assured. "Maybe next time." She nodded. Colby frowned dramatically.

"Fine. It's your social life to kill." She shrugged, heading for the door. "OW!" She yelped as she collided with someone in the doorway. "Brandon!" She yelled, and smacked him in the arm when she realized who had run into her.

"Sorry, Col." Brandon apologized with a sheepish shrug.

"What are you doing here?" Colby asked, sounding angry.

"Chill, sis." He maneuvered around her as she was blocking the door, and he was carrying a barrel of pretzels, and a plastic bag with ice cream in it. "I'm here to hang out, watch some movies, pig out. You're not staying?" He asked. Colby scoffed at him.

"Some of us want to avoid the freshmen 15." She threw over her shoulder as she walked out of the room and turned up the hall. Brandon turned back to look from Joan to the others.

"Suddenly she's too cool for food and movies?" He asked to none of them in particular. "Pssh…sometimes I swear we're from different wombs." He set the junk down on the makeshift coffee table as the others chuckled. Brandon grabbed a desk chair and pulled it over, straddling it backwards.

"So what are our movie choices?" Tristan asked. Joan walked over and set herself down in Adam's lap on the double-sized beanbag, sitting sideways across his lap. He laced her arms around her as she looked at the cases to read the choices she and Johana had picked out.

"Uhm…The Ring…" she pulled that one away and went to the next one. "Dawn of The Dead…" Again she pulled it away and went to the next one. "Or…the original Halloween."

"I vote zombies." Tristan said enthusiastically.

"Me too." Johana said, more because Tristan had voted for zombies than because she really wanted to watch a zombie movie.

"I'm fine with that if everyone else is." Adam suggested.

"No matter what we watch, I'll probably hide the whole time." Joan scrunched up her nose slightly, putting her head down on Adam's shoulder.

"Zombies it is." Brandon held his hands up to show he'd given in, not caring which they watched.

"I got it." Tristan swiped the DVD and hopped up to put it in.

"Sooo, Brandon, when's your little vixen gonna show?" Joan asked.

"Ooh, does Brandon have a crush already?" Johana asked.

"A quasi-date actually." Joan supplied for Johana.

"Oooh, anyone I know?" Johana piped up.

"Do they always talk about people and their business right in front of them?" Brandon asked towards Adam and Tristan, meaning women in general.

"I think it's like some kind of secret code they abide by." Adam said.

"Yeah, gossip." Tristan said. Johana lightly hit him in the ribs.

"It's not gossip!" She protested.

"Yeah!" Joan agreed. "More like…taking an interest in a friend's life." She turned back to Johana as the previews played on the DVD. "And it's Hayley. She's in Brandon and my sociology class."

"Ooooh…educational bonding…" Johana sung teasingly.

"Hey, cut it out before she walks in and hears you making jokes." Brandon almost hissed. He glanced at the empty doorway before he finished speaking. "I don't think she thinks this is a date…" He said.

"Well, it's not really." Joan said.

"Hey…" Adam said, sounding wounded. Joan elbowed him playfully.

"It is for us, but, hello, we're a couple." She said obviously. "Trist and Jo aren't. So as far as Hayley's concerned it's just six people hanging out to horror movies and fattening food." Joan reasoned.

"Touché my friend, touché." Johana agreed, tipping her soda bottle to Joan as if toasting. Tristan glanced at Johana and then chuckled nervously.

"Yeah man, you're cool." He said, unsure what to say.

"Shhh! I love this part, when the little girl attacks the dude's neck." Adam said. "It's sick!"

"EWWW!" Joan and Johana chorused.

"Ohhhhh!" Adam, Tristan and Brandon chorused excitedly.

"Oh, she's toast!" Tristan all but bounced in his seat.

"No way man, she's gonna find a way out." Brandon reasoned, digging into a container of ice cream.

"Dude, there's no way! She locked herself in a bathroom!" Tristan continued.

"Is someone rammed their head through the bathroom door I locked myself in I would probably be too terrified to move."

"I'd pee myself before I figured out to climbed out of the window!" Johana said, blushing as soon as she said it, but laughing with everyone else.

"Am I too late to join the party?" A voice called from the doorway as she knocked. All heads turned to her.

"Hey Hayley!" Joan smiled. Brandon leapt out of his seat and turned it around.

"A seat, M'lady." He gestured like a chivalrous Prince, for her to sit. Hayley curtsied and walked over. Joan didn't miss the look she gave Brandon as she sat down. Brandon grabbed another chair, flipped it around and sat it next to Hayley's, straddling it like he had the other chair. Joan noticed they didn't flinch as their legs touched and she grinned.

"Hayley, this is Adam, that's Tristan and that's Johana over there." Joan pointed them all out. "Guys, this is Hayley."

They all greeted her with smiles and waves of their hands. Hayley smiled.

"So what's the deal, I hear we have ice cream and pretzels?" She asked, grinning as Brandon handed over pretzels and she picked a flavor of ice cream as they all chattered about zombies, movie effects and horror movies while pigging out and laughing.

* * *

3,139 miles away, Grace as just getting done her class at 7:30. She sighed as she packed her bag, having accomplished nothing this class but getting into a heated debate about religious beliefs and judgments. Of course she'd also scribbled down almost a whole poem that she'd probably never show anyone. This thought only succeeded in making Grace angry at herself. 

"Whoa there, Lizzie Borden, you don't got an axe in there or anything do you?" Someone said. Grace glanced him with only her eyes as she tossed her notebook inside her beat up messenger bag. She noticed that it was the guy who had been sitting behind her since the class began. Having been a once-a-week class, the long, boring drawn out class had begun at 5pm. At one point he'd tried to whisper a sarcastic remark to her, but Grace had ignored him, having just finished her argument with Professor Henley, she had been in no mood to care.

"Not in the mood, dude." Grace slung her bag across her shoulder so it hung diagonally down her and rested at the back of her left hip. She began walking out of the classroom. He followed her.

"Sorry." He apologized sheepishly. "I'm Collier. Collier Graham." He held his hand out to her as he walked next to her. Grace ignored the hand. Her right hand was stuffed into the pocket of her zip-up black hoodie, and her left thumb was hooked into the strap of her messenger back where it met at the bag. "Right…you're one of those hard-ass chicks. In case you missed the memo, it's not going to kill you to meet a new person, I swear." He said. "I mean, unless they're a serial killer. Which, I clearly am not." He said on second thought. Grace stopped walking and so did Collier. She closed her eyes a moment and let out a slow breath before looking at him.

"Listen…Collin-," She began.

"Collier." He corrected. Grace sighed.

"Collier…" she corrected herself. "Does this face look like a face that cares what your next sentence is?" She questioned. He only smiled at her. He leaned in as if to tell her a secret.

"I just wanted to tell you, Grace, that I thought it was pretty gutsy of you to stand up to Henley like that." Collier said. Grace stared at him. "Henley said your name." He confessed. "In two years taking classes with him, no one has called him on his bullshit. I think he liked it. You probably turned him on with your wit."

Grace closed her eyes, unsure what to say, and flabbergasted by the tone Collier was using with her.

"Who are you?" She burst out, slightly freaked. He smiled.

"Collier Graham." He reiterated.

"Look…I have to go." Grace said, continuing to walk up the street.

"Well I'll walk with you." He said. Grace rolled her eyes.

"Whatever." She replied, growing weary of trying to stop him. She was heading for JB's Southern Comfort Diner. It was the diner they'd first gone to the night she and Luke had moved in. Luke had gotten a job there and every Friday night after her class she would meet him for his dinner break and then lounge around sitting in the corner booth by the counter, doing homework and waiting for Luke to finish his shift. Grace knew that once she got to the usually packed diner, she'd easily be able to lose Collier and focus on dinner with Luke. Friday was proving to be her longest day.

Their campuses weren't very far apart. Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays allowed them to meet for lunch. Mondays and Wednesdays provided them time to go to one of their cafeterias for dinner, or go out, or to do "normal" date things. Usually they would eat quickly and then use one of their empty rooms to make out in. Grace missed the Bio closet. She was fairly certain Luke did as well. Fridays were long. Luke had gotten into the habit of calling Grace before he went to class so that she was the first voice he heard at the beginning of the day. He told her it was because he knew she wanted to hear his voice when she woke up in the morning. Grace had laughed at him and told him to stick to science theories. Secretly she had smiled on her end of the phone, conceding to herself that this was true.

Luke started class at 8am. He had 3 classes that took him to 12:45. From there he went to the library until 3 to get as much work done as possible. He then went to JB's, via Grace's borrowed skateboard, which had taken him 5 months to actually learn to ride properly. He dropped his books in the back and began work after grabbing a sandwich, or some fries to hold him over, as well as some coffee. Grace started class at 11am. Of course, Luke woke her up at 7:30 with his phone call and started her day. She'd gotten used to waking up around the most other days for her 8 am classes, and so had decided to find something to occupy her time before class on Fridays now. After Luke called her, she usually changed into her old, ratty Arcadia High gym sweats and blue torn t-shirt. Throwing her ratty black chucks on, instead of the normal running sneakers, she would take a jog, around the campus. Sometimes she would head up Massachusetts Ave and hang a right on Prospect St. to Edward Sennott Park for a jog that ended with a Coffee from the hot dog vendor once she got back to campus. After completing her exercise and clearing her mind she showered and used whatever time was left to sneak in some work before class. At 1:30pm, she met her roommate for lunch the past two weeks for lunch in the cafeteria. Then it was off to work at 2 pm at the campus registrar office for her work-study program until 5, when she ran across campus to get to class.

Now, at 7:38pm, Collier was slowing her down on her walk up Massachusetts Ave, heading for JB's.

"So where are we walking too?" Collier asked. After a moment he began to hum, waiting for an answer. "I can be stubborn too."

"I don't like to talk when I walk, okay? I like to work through my thoughts." Grace cut him off. She fought the corners of her mouth turning up as she remembered saying something similar to Luke before they kissed when he was walking her home from the Hospital Joan had been in for Lyme disease. Of course, she wasn't about to throw herself at Collier and kiss him, undeniably attracted to him. In fact, at the moment, she felt Collier's stalker-like antics were rather revolting. She couldn't wait to get inside the diner. Once Luke figured out that she hadn't been able to shake Collier, he's mention something to Joe Bobby John, the owner of JB's, and he would promptly get rid of the problem without Grace having to lose her temper. Then she could just forget that Collier had followed her and have her dinner with Luke before getting to her work.

"Okay. I can take a hint." Collier said.

"Obviously you can't." Grace retorted.

"Do you always push people away before you even get to know them?" Collier challenged. Grace stopped walking.

"If you think this is funny, you've got a warped sense of humor." Grace began.

"I'm just trying to make a friend here." Collier said. "You seemed like you could use one, I was offering my services." Collier grinned, his poise cocky and sure of himself as he leaned on a newspaper machine.

"There's no need of services of any kind from you." Grace told him. "I have enough friends on my own, dude. I don't need you to throw yourself at me."

Collier chuckled airily. "Ha, ha, ha…is that what you think I was doing?" He asked. Grace rolled her eyes. IT was 7:45. Luke would be wondering what was taking her so long by now.

"I don't have time for this right now." She saw the light turn green, and took the chance to cross the street. Collier called after her.

"See you in class!" He hollered. Grace rolled her eyes and kept walking.

* * *

"I was beginning to think you stood me up." Luke stood from their usual corner booth up by the corner of the counter. Grace heaved a sigh as Luke took her bag and tossed it in the booth. Grace smiled at the look he gave her before opening his arms. "You look like you could use one." He waved her to him. Grace sighed. She'd abandoned herself to public displays, having grown tired of caring what the world thought anymore. She eased into his embrace and let him kiss the top of her head. He'd taken his apron off, but still smelled like burgers and fried chicken. Grace smiled. She loved Friday now. If she were at home, she would be running out on Luke by now, to go save her mom from getting a concussion from letting the porcelain toilet seat hit her in the head. 

"Hey, lovebird dinner on the move." JB called from the kitchen, hitting the bell to signal an order was up. Grace and Luke pulled apart, sitting down.

"Mmmm…and what did we get?" She asked, opening a straw and sticking it in the soda that Luke had already put on the table.

"Southern Chicken Specials." Luke told her.

"Good call, brain." She said before taking a big drink of her soda.

"Twooooo Southern Chicken Specials for my favorite table of the night." An older waitress, Ell Burton said, putting their plates down. She winked at them and gave Grace's shoulder a pat. "Looks like you've had a long day, Gracious." She said to Grace.

"El, you wouldn't even believe." Grace nodded.

"Eat up…." Ella said, before she had to head for one of her rowdier tables.

True, it had only been just over two weeks that they'd been in Cambridge, but they'd pretty much been in the diner everyday since then, whether it was for breakfast, lunch, coffee, or Luke working and Grace lounging with coffee and work.

Joe Bobby John Senior had been born in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. He left home when he was 17 and headed for New York, thinking he would be a rock star. Somehow he'd gravitated to Cambridge by the time he was 19, and had started out as a hot dog vendor. Besides his hot dog vendor job, he worked third shift at a local diner for 6 months until he met Isabel Cardelini. Within 3 months of their romance, Isabel became pregnant. 2 Months after that they were married. By the Time Joe Bobby "JB" John Junior was born, Isabel and JB Sr. were married. He had taken two shifts at the diner, and sometimes three to get by while Isabel was in school. Now, she was a doctor. By the time JB Jr. was 5, he'd bought the diner from old man Hubbard and had done nothing but run it successfully since.

Ella Burton had been working there since two years before JB Sr. Now at almost 39, she had been a faithful employee to JB Sr. and as such had been duly rewarded by JB. JB Jr., being 18 now and just starting at Cambridge University, had been working at the diner since he was 14. He didn't plan to take it over one day like his father had hoped, but he was always there to work for his dad when needed. He even cancelled plans if his dad was shorthanded. Also working there was a student Grace had seen in her own dorm. Avery Hines. Avery had yet to have a class with Grace but was going in for Law as well.

Nightly, after Luke and Grace had finished their dinner and were just settling in for desert, Isabel would bustle in with her and JB Sr.'s other two children, Danica (commonly known as Nic) who was 10 and Rush who was 8. Isabel would gladly take a seat with Grace who was eager to share her Triple Chocolate Strawberry surprise with the two kids who, even to Grace were too cute for words. Isabel would get her own dessert for herself, claiming that the baby growing inside her overstuff belly was famished and it wasn't just because she loved chocolate.

Grace smiled to herself. It was amazing how much you could know about someone in such short a time. She loved being at JB's. It was like she had grown up there. She sighed slightly.

"So, how bad was it?" Luke asked.

"How bad was what?" Grace replied, watching him dive into his mashed potatoes with southern style gravy.

"Your day." Luke looked at her. "You looked like you could barely drag yourself in here when you finally came through the door."

"Oh…nothing. I had an after-class stalker." She mused, forking a fried green tomato half and popping it in her mouth.

"I see. Professor?" Luke quizzed. Grace smiled, sensing he really wanted to ask if it was a male or female.

"Nope." She said, making him squirm.

"Student?"

"You bet." She nodded.

"Y chromosome?" He asked. Grace nodded.

"Collier Graham." She said.

"That's a…uhm…interesting name." Luke coughed as he took a sip of his drink.

"He's pompous." Grace told Luke. "He followed me half way here. All because I got into a fight with a professor everyone's afraid of." She sighed.

"Ooh…how'd he professor take that one?" Luke asked.

"He hated it. Or he liked it because no one else was brave enough to do it." She shrugged. "Either way he was wrong. He just wanted to see who was paying attention. Apparently I was."

"You have a sneaky way of doing that." Luke grinned.

"How was your day?" She changed the subject.

"It was long." He exhaled and looked at her. "But it's better now."

"Aww, well aren't you just the little Romeo today." Grace teased. Luke shrugged.

"This is what happens when I go into withdraw." He told her.

"Withdraw of what?" Grace asked, intrigued at the thought.

"Your eyes, your smile-just you in general." He said quickly. By the blush that filled up his cheeks, Grace could tell that Luke hadn't meant to let the sentence escape his mind. Grace blushed herself. She looked at him. One sentence came to her mind, but refused to travel to her vocal chords. Still, she smiled at the idea that Luke missed her as much as she missed him. Leaning forward, she reach up and pulled his face to hers, indulging herself in a kiss.

"You know what I was thinking today?" Luke said once they'd parted.

"What's that?" Grace questioned.

"I miss the Bio closet. How sick is that?" He laughed.

"Something about the dead animals in chemicals that turns you on, brain?" Grace raised an eyebrow.

"Don't lie to you! You so miss it too." He said knowingly. Grace nodded.

"I concede." She held her hands up innocently, smiling as they continued to chat about random things over their dinner, disregarding the crowded diner around them for a short while.

* * *

**A/N: Do I suck or what? Tell me damnit! I need to know...it's like paranoia setting in! **


	2. We Had A Keg In The Closet

**Holds Me Together**

**Rating:** T-M Just in case

**Disclaimer:** At this point do I really need to write more then 'disclaimer' for you to know that I own only the new unheard of characters?

**Reviewers :** **Laura – **Hey…if I'm feeding an addiction I want to give you a good product, if it's a bad fanfic who knows what will happen to you? You could inadvertently O.D. on it, yo. We can't have that! P.S. I tried to put an equal amount of J/A and G/L. ) **Butterfly Dancing –**For a second there I wasn't sure I was actually going to sequel it, I got stuck on how to start it. **Michelle – **Hey there how you doing? Glad you liked last story and this one too. ) **Tiffany – **Thanks! Always good to know when I don't suck! No need to thank me for the review, it's what I do! So long as you keep updating the story (cough, hint cough). Thank you for feeding my ego! **Sam – **How'd you do on the essay? My lips are sealed on who's bad and who's not! I loved your long review! Thank you! I was hoping I didn't make the G/L parts too cute, just cute enough! **Bonny – **Continue writing, I shall. Glad to see you've come along for the sequel! **AudreyF. – **As always, I am here to feed the addictions. Maybe you and Laura can join the Fanfic Anonymous with me? I think we need it… **Undying Slayer – **It's always good to hear from someone knew. Thanks for feeding my ego; I'm glad you love my stories!

**A/N: **Phew, there were a lot of people to write to and acknowledge this time! Thanks to everyone for their support! I would have updated this on the 128th, but…I was at the Michael Tolcher/Howie Day/Gavin DeGraw concert in Philly. Excellent music-buy their CDs, they're very good, all three of them! Anyways to make up for taking that long to update, this chapter is nice and long! Enjoy! As always, sorry for my piss poor proofreading! Let me know if I start to suck or not, will ya?

**Chapter 2 – We Had A Keg In The Closet**

* * *

"Why are discussing the holocaust at all in this argument?" Dina Mae, one of the students in Grace's criminal law class who she'd started a study group along with two other students, asked in the middle of a heated argument between Grace and another student, known only as Tex. 

"Because it was part of the motif the defense tried to use to convince the jury in this case!" Tex basically shouted, enraged that someone like Grace didn't automatically agree with him in their examination of a case study in their textbook. "And I'm simply saying that if, like in this case, a person believes that the Holocaust never happened, then how could they be considered anything more than-,"

"Delusional?" Grace supplied with her arms crossed, leaning back in her seat with her legs up on the desk.

"Hey, it is possible that the Holocaust didn't happen." Tex offered. Grace stared at him, momentarily at a loss for words. Most of the class sat silently, contemplating the words that had just been uttered. Professor Henley just let the argument continue. He hadn't seen such fire and passion in his classroom in years, until Grace Polk had shown up as a student in this class. She always needed to prove her point, a very strong personality trait for a prospective future lawyer.

"Dude, you're joking right?" Collier piped up, leaning forward to slap Tex's shoulder in a gesture to show that the joke wasn't funny.

"No. I'm not." Tex said. "This is why I understand the prosecution's position on the motif underlying in this case." He reasoned.

"That's probably the most ignorant statement I've ever heard in my life." Grace glared at him.

"Oh, what, because it's not a widely accepted social norm, it's automatically wrong?" Tex asked. Grace's mouth hung open for a moment.

"Five million, nine-hundred thousand, one hundred and twenty nine corpses outweigh your opinion that the holocaust never happened." She said. She knew he was now just trying to get her angry, and it was working. When you've had relatives that died not only in the holocaust but as soldiers in a specific period of history, and someone tried to say it was all a magic trick, you tend to get offended.

"Oh, so now only the dead Jewish people of World War II count?" Tex asked. Grace continued to stare him down.

"When you speak of the Holocaust, it implies the genocide of the Jews via Hitler and Nazi Germany. But if you want to get technical, dude." She sat up straight putting her feet on the floor. "Then you think that 52,199, 262 people died…military and civilian, to stop an event that you're saying didn't happen? That doesn't make any sense!"

"The war was to stop Hitler, not the Holocaust. The Holocaust is a lie." Tex said.

"Listen you little bigot…"Grace said, using her finger to point as she spoke. "I don't know what propaganda your family's fed you throughout your life and I don't care if you're some kind of neo-Nazi Revisionist reject from Middle America, okay? I've got a Grandmother who's got a tattoo up the side of her arm that was her serial number, slapped on her in the concentration camp during the War, not to mention two great grandparents, and one great uncle who were starved and gassed in the concentration camps of _Hitler's_ holocaust…" She saw the frightened look in Tex's face now. "So if you want to come and tell my grandmother that what she went through was a hoax…that's peachy, but I don't want to be in the room when she goes berserk on you and shows you the pictures, scars and proof. It's enough to make a narcissistic prick like you go mad. You want to be a bigot, you go right ahead. Don't waste my valuable education time to spout off your racist, ignorant mind set, okay?" She turned her attention to Henley.

"Well then…" Professor Henley said once Grace had finished and Tex was speechless. "If we can continue with the lecture after that…" He cleared his throat, "Remarkable display of statistics, and, dare I say, heartfelt insight into our world history?" He said.

"Lecture on, oh Captain my Captain." Collier said dryly. Grace took a deep breath and let it out slowly and quietly. She felt stupid for her outburst, but was satisfied that she'd managed to take Tex's ego down so far, that he wouldn't speak for the remainder of the class period.

* * *

"Hey, Grace, wait up!" Dina jogged up next to Grace. 

"Oh, hey." Grace said. It was an hour and a half later and Grace was on her way from class to JB's. She was glad Dina was the one following her from class and not Collier, who'd been frequently 'bumping into' Grace during her morning jogs, at the diner, at the grocery store or the corner store.

"That was so awesome in class." Dina gushed. "You're totally my hero."

It was a phrase Grace had heard often throughout high school, especially from Joan, after she'd spoken her mind in the face of what Grace felt was injustice. It always made Grace feel uncomfortable, that someone would admire her for speaking truth. Shouldn't everyone just be truthful by nature?

"Yeah…I just was speaking the truth." She replied with an awkward shrug.

"Oh! I know!" Dina excused herself. "I mean, I was amazed at the number statistics you knew!" She continued. Grace pursed her lips together. "Did you have to memorize it…for your history?" She asked curiously. Grace fought not to roll her eyes, knowing Dina was watching her. Dina wasn't a horrible person. In fact, Grace quite liked her, even if she was kind of naïve and bubbly.

"No. I didn't have to." She cleared her throat. "I saw the pictures, and my grandmother's tattoo, and then learned little bits about it in History throughout the school years." Grace explained. "One day I just decided I wanted to know as much as I could about it. I mulled over books for months until I knew everything I could, including the statistics, Jewish and non Jewish." She nodded as she spoke.

"That's so amazing." Dina gushed again. She skipped a beat as they continued to walk. "So what are you and Luke doing this weekend?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Uhm, you know I'm not really sure actually." She shrugged. "We're supposed to make an appearance at some party for his roommate, but I'm not big on the frat party type of scene." Grace shared. Dina nodded.

"It's not so bad if you stay in control." She smiled. "There's some fun dancing…loud people…some of them obnoxiously drunk." She laughed slightly. Grace nodded slightly.

"Well," Dina said a few minutes later. "Maybe I'll see you at one of the parties this weekend then." She shrugged with a smile. Grace nodded.

"Yeah, sure. Maybe," She said, not really believing herself. Dina smiled and waved as she turned and left.

* * *

"Hey!" Luke leaned over the counter of the Diner and kissed Grace after she'd seen that their booth was full and she sat on a spare stool at the counter. "I don't have time to take a dinner break right now." He said as he filled up a coffee cup for her. "How was your day?" He asked. 

"Long story. Avery needs you." Grace pointed. Luke scurried off to help. Grace sighed slightly, watching him. Sweet Lou had invited them to a party at the frat house that Lou's older cousin belonged to. After getting to know him, it turned out that Sweet Lou was really just a big teddy bear…with a cocky, sexist and overall horn dog outer shell. In an effort to become better friends with Lou, Luke agreed to go with Lou, and had expressed to Grace that he wanted her to go with him. Reluctantly, Grace had agreed. The idea that Sweet Lou was going to lure Luke into the world of college drinking freaked Grace out. Calmly, she told herself that Luke was too smart, and knew too well what alcohol could do, thanks to Grace's own mother, and therefore would be able well equipped to handle himself at any college party-frat run or not.

"You look like you need this." Ella put down Grace's favorite dessert, Triple Chocolate Strawberry Surprise, in front of her. Grace had been sitting, mulling over a textbook, with her cheek resting in her fist.

"You have no idea." She sighed with a half smile, moving to use her hand to rub her temple and her other hand to pick up a fork and dig in. Ella poured herself a coffee. "You on break?" Ella nodded.

"Want to tell me what's bothering you, Gracious?" Ella asked. Grace gave another half smile.

"Why do you call me that?" She questioned curiously as she stirred her own coffee.

"To be gracious is characterized by kindness and warm courtesy, and also a compassionate nature." Ella began. Grace snorted.

"That is so not me." She said.

"On the contrary, it is you. Those are all traits that you, kid, have in tenfold in fact," Ella smiled. She studied Grace for a minute as Grace stifled a chuckle. Ella could see Grace didn't believe her, so she continued. "You're the M&M of rebellious hardasses, Gracious…thick candy shell on the outside…soft, lovely chocolate on the inside."

"I…am?" She asked, taken aback by the candy analogy. Ella chuckled.

"HI GRACE!" A young voice called, leaping into recently empty stool to Grace's left. 10-year-old arms wrapped around Grace's waist. Grace looked over to see Danica hugging her. She let herself smile and hugged the little girl back with her left arm.

"Hey, kid." She said, holding her fork out. "Want some?" Danica smiled, nodding furiously before digging in happily.

"See…" Ella smiled, finishing her coffee and heading back to work. Grace looked at Danica. Ella was right. Of course, it was only those who got to know Grace and who Grace let herself get to know, that truly were aware of just how gracious she could be. She was watching Danica dig into the rest of the dessert when Rush climbed up on the stool to her right and jumped at her. Grace reacted just in time to catch him.

"Whoa there, you little monkey." She said as she set him down.

"Rush Henry John, I'd better not see you do that again." Izzy said walking up behind Grace. Grace spun in her seat, saw that there was no room anywhere for Isabel and stood up.

"Here, you can have my seat." She said to Isabel.

"Oh, please, Grace, sit." Isabel smiled. "I'm going to see if I can help out, would you mind watching Nic and Rush while I do?"

"No, that's fine." Grace nodded. It was the least she could do. After Luke's first two weeks of hard work and dedication, JB had given him a bonus and a raise on the promise that Luke would work there for the 4 years of college he would be in Cambridge. Even if that hadn't been the case, Grace wouldn't have minded. Nic and Rush were her favorite kids. They were funny, and they asked random questions like why Grace like Luke, and why she thought Triple Chocolate Strawberry Surprise was so good. She loved the diner like a second home. She even liked it better than living in a dormitory where the people above you stomped on their floor all night long and the people under you blasted the bass of bad dance songs all night long and people ran up and down the hallways drunk, and stupid. The people at JB's were kind, accepting and wonderful people.

Grace knew she was a different person then she had been nearly three years before. She's grown more accepting of other opinions, except for extreme one's like the one Tex expressed in class. She'd grown over all happier and less morose in life. She knew that was in big part thanks to Luke. Now, if only she could vocalize to Luke just how much he really, honestly, did mean to her.

"Hey, little monsters." Luke grinned, putting a plate of cookies and some cups of milk on the counter in front of Grace, Rush and Nic. Danica and Rush cheered and dug in, greedily dunking their cookies into their respective cups of milk. "You okay?" Luke asked, noticing the strained look on Grace's face. Grace opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She sighed slightly and nodded.

"I'm fine." She smiled at him. Luke seemed to accept this after a moment and he stole a kiss from her before going to bus some tables. Grace watched him, while keeping an eye on Danica and Rush as well. She watched Luke smile and quickly chit chat with people he'd known from their frequent visits to the diner as well as with people she knew were students from his classes. Ever since he'd gotten used to working here, she noticed, Luke had been less nervous and panicky around people, and more confident and at ease. She smiled slightly to herself and then sighed. For all the time Luke had told her he loved her, Grace had net to be able to let those words surface to her lips from her vocal chords.

She sighed. The week before, Grace had told him to stop saying it to her because she didn't deserve it. Luke had known that she felt guilty for not saying that tiny sentence out loud to him. He had smiled, pressing his forehead to hers and locking her eyes to his intently.

"You don't have to say them. I know." He had told her. Grace had stared at him, resisting the urge to shift her awkwardness to some ridiculous sarcastic comment. "The only reason I say it out loud, is because I want to. I want you to hear them, not just to know." He'd said.

She knew he was right. At least, she hoped he wasn't just saying it to make her feel better. Had her actions really been enough to show him she loved him? Usually she'd just make a joke and give him a slight shove or elbow to the rib if she was standing close enough. And if she did love him, no scratch that, she knew she did. There was no need for the word 'if' here. But, since she did in fact love him, then why couldn't she say three words? Why did they always catch in her throat just before they could emerge to the world for the sound waves to carry them to Luke's ears?

"Grace? Hey…Grace?" Luke's voice awoke her from her thought. He'd come over to clear Danica and Rush's cookie plate and empty glasses away. The two kids were now coloring on the diner's placemats, ignoring the rest of the world except to swing their legs back and forth and hum to themselves as they colored. Grace shook her head and looked from the kids to Luke.

"I, uhm, wait what?" Grace asked, a little bit dazed. Luke caught himself in a smile.

"You looked lost." He told her. "Do you want something besides dessert?" He switched gears quickly. Grace thought about this for a second. She could use some cheese fries. She nodded and told Luke this.

"All right. I'll be right back then," He said, turning to go make the fries. Grace sighed again, looking back at her textbook. At least school work would get her mind to stop wandering to ridiculous things like love. Then again, she wondered, how ridiculous was love when you were as deep into the thick of it as she felt Luke and her could be?

* * *

"Hey Colby," Joan said with a half yawn as she entered the room via the door that was propped open by a wooden doorstop. Joan went to her desk, which was only about a foot from the open door, and put her bag down. She pulled out the chair and all but slumped down into it, taking a moment to rest her head in her hands, tiredly sighing before pulling out two textbooks and two different notebooks with the intent of doing two classes' homework at once. Colby had been sitting on her bed, the bottom bunk, reading a Cosmo, listlessly turning the pages, only mildly content with the information inside. Close by her outstretched legs, which were crossed over each other, were her closed school books. Joan looked at Colby when she didn't reply. Colby could feel Joan's eyes on her, but kept up her fake reading. 

"So…" Joan tapped the eraser side of her pencil on the back of her chair as she sat, still turned half way around in it, trying to get Colby's attention. "Any big parties tonight?" Joan asked her, not really, truly, caring either way. This question seemed to peak Colby's interest. Joan saw Colby's right eyebrow rise, even though she kept her cool and kept absently thumbing through the pages of the magazine.

"There's a pre-Halloween bash at Cody's frat, starts at 8." She mentioned nonchalantly. "But," she hunched up her shoulders in a shrug, "you'd have to have a costume."

Joan felt the need to combat this challenge, and momentarily smiled to herself. Maybe Grace's stubbornness rubbed off just the tiniest bit on her after all. "What, you think that'd be a problem?"

"Only if you invited Space Cadet along with you," Colby still didn't look up from the magazine, even as she insulted Adam right to Joan's face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Joan asked. She didn't sound mad when she said it, she honestly wanted to know what Colby had meant. Colby shrugged.

"Oh…nothing," She shook her head. "I mean, you could present him as a bump on a log, with all that staring off into space he does." She mused. Joan wanted to throw a comeback at Colby, but was at a loss for a good one, so instead, she turned around in her chair and resolved herself to try and ignore Colby.

"Of course…if you're tired of being socially inept…" Colby said. Joan stopped writing, not turning her head, just listening. "I could be persuaded to work my magic and get Cody to offer an invite for you." She continued, knowing she had Joan's attention.

"Just me?" Joan asked. Colby rolled her eyes and snickered.

"Fine, the Space Cadet too." She said. "Provided you both can scrape together some costumes."

"What about Jo?" Joan asked. Johana had become a good friend over the weeks, and Joan didn't want to alienate her.

"Johana," Colby, it seemed to Joan, wrinkled up her nose as she said the name. "Already had an invite from Grant." She explained. "As far as I know, she hasn't given him an answer. Probably because she's too hung up on that…Tyron…Travis…Trevor…I don't know. Your boyfriend's roommate." Colby said.

"Tristan," Joan supplied. Colby shrugged.

"Whatev," She replied, too lazy to add the remaining 'er' to the word 'whatever'. Joan turned her head to study Colby for a moment.

"Why are you like that?" She asked Colby. Colby finally looked at Joan.

"Like what?" She asked, smiling. "As cool as I am? Or did you mean sophisticated? A close comparison to Paris?"

Joan shook her head. "Vicious." She said to Colby. Colby narrowed her eyes.

"Do you want to come to this party or not?" She asked. Joan put her hands up in defense.

"Okay, sorry." She turned back to her work. She had an hour before she had to leave for work. This meant that she had a half hour to finish at least one subject of homework before she was supposed to meet Adam at his room for some pop tarts before they each went to work. They'd have an hour to get home afterwards, scrounge up costumes and get dinner before going to the party.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Adam asked as they stood outside of Phi Kappa Psi. He looked at Joan. He thought about Judith, and he had no desire to go inside. He couldn't figure out just why Joan wanted to. Joan sighed. She leaned close to his ear. 

"We have to." She told him. Adam looked at her.

"The big G?" He asked. Joan nodded. Adam looked at the frat house. Music was blasting from the house, people were hooting, and shouting-a party was raging within for sure. He sighed.

"All right then, let's go," He started forward. Colby was dressed, literally, as Barbie. She'd walked up to the door where Cody, a guy who Joan had met all of twice from walking in on him and Colby in the dorm room, was standing dressed-of course-as a Ken Doll. Colby motioned to Adam and Joan who, thanks to the combined efforts of Tristan, Johana and Brandon, were dressed like Neo and Trinity from the Matrix. Of course Joan had longer hair, but all things considered, their costumes looked good, after being thrown together in an hour. After saying something that Cody nodded to, Colby pointed to Tristan and Johana, and Cody nodded again before planting a wet, sloppy, drunken kiss down Colby's throat and smacking her ass on her way in. Adam leaned over to Joan.

"Pretty bold move for a person dressed up as an anatomically vacant doll." He said quietly. Joan couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips as she covered her mouth. She looked at Johana.

Johana and Tristan were dressed, oddly to say the least. Johana had on a black dress that was ripped and tattered at the bottom, with torn, running pantyhose and high heels-one of which had a broken heel. There was a fake pearl necklace around her neck, and gold earrings dangling from her ears. Her hair had been done up, and she had reached up and randomly messed it to create a disheveled appearance. In her hand, she had a plastic water gun that looked very much like the gun Joan's dad used while working.

Tristan was wearing khakis that had a tear in the knee. Joan knew that he hadn't torn them on purpose. In fact, he'd torn them playing football with Brandon, Johana, and Hayley two weeks ago. He had on a white wife-beater with a white navy and maroon striped button up shirt over it. The pocket of the shirt was ripped mostly off, and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. His hair was spiked and messed. He looked like he'd taken a dive into a mound of dirt and rolled around. He held a fake cowboy shotgun, the kind you get in the toy store with a sheriff badge. In fact, he had the handcuffs from that kit around his left wrist, with the other one hanging down freely.

Tristan had also taken a one of the blood capsules he'd gotten to use on Halloween and cut it open to put some on his face, making it look like he had a bloody nose and lip. The rest of it had been used to give Johana as bloody gash over her right eye by her temple. Each of them had put some on their knuckles, part of Johana's elbow and shoulder and the last of it was on Tristan's knee and the ripped part of his khakis.

"Who are you guys supposed to be?" Joan asked them.

"Mr. & Mrs. Smith." Tristan grinned. Joan and Adam chuckled as Johana and Tristan posed back to back with their fake guns.

"Let's go in, I'm thirsty." Johana suggested. All four of them walked up the steps.

"Colby said you're with her." Cody told them, stamping each of their right hands. "Go on in." He told them, nodding to Joan, who was the only one out of the whole group he recognized, thanks to her intrusions.

"Thanks." Joan said, nodding back as they all entered.

"I'm gonna go get a drink." Joan said after a few minutes of standing in the corner of the living room and observing the surroundings. She looked at Adam. "Want anything?"

"No, no I'm fine." He assured. Joan nodded.

"I'll come with you." Johana said, aiming her water gun at Tristan. "You stay put." She ordered devilishly. As she started to follow Joan, she squeezed the trigger and sent a splotch of water all over Tristan's chest.

"I'll get you for that Mrs. Smith!" He called to her. Johana just stuck her tongue out at him playfully.

"Well, hello there," Brandon said, filling up cups at the keg in the closet of the kitchen. He looked Joan up and down, figuring out who she was dressed up as. "Now if _you_ asked me to pick the blue or the red pill, I'd totally pick the red." He grinned. Brandon himself was dressed as David Beckham, which was no surprise, since Beckham was Brandon's hero, being a soccer player and all. Joan blushed at the comment.

"Be careful now, soccer boy, I've got Neo for a bodyguard." She laughed nervously. Brandon held two cups out for her, suspecting she was going to get one for Adam. Instead, she handed it to Johana who had just caught up behind Joan. She checked Brandon over as she took the cup from Joan.

"Well now, look who we have here." Johana smiled. "Is Hayley here, too?"

"Yup, she's Posh." He laughed.

"Well I guess she'll bring new meaning to bend it like Beckham?" Johana asked deviously. It was Brandon's turn to blush.

"Excuse me ladies," He said when he'd spotted Hayley. He drank some of his own cup, and then put the brim of it between his lips. He held Hayley's cup in his right hand, and picked up his soccer ball from the kitchen counter, kneeing and kicking it as he made a path to Hayley, who smiled and laughed as he made it to her, holding the cups in both of his hands now, and still juggling the ball expertly. Johana filled up a cup for Tristan.

"If Mr. Smith is your enemy, should you be getting him a beer?" Joan asked. Johana grinned wickedly as they headed back towards Adam and Tristan.

"Oh the contrary, inebriation will hinder his response time, thus giving me the upper hand Ha-ha-ha!" She laughed evilly. Joan laughed along with her as they reached the guys. Though the music was bad, Joan finished half of her drink before she leaned towards Adam.

"Let's dance." She suggested. She had grabbed Adam's arm and dragged him out to the middle of the living room were other drunken people were dancing about, drinking and laughing and stumbling, before Adam could reply. He wasn't fond of drinking, but at least he could dance with Joan. Adam abandoned himself to ignoring the drunken people around him when he felt Joan's hips gyrating to his own. He smiled as she laughed and they danced, knowing how ridiculous they looked, and not caring. Johana and Tristan soon joined them. Joan looked around her as she finished her drink but held onto the cup still. She felt like she was in the scene of _Dirty Dancing_ when Baby first enters the dance hall that all the workers are grinding in. By the time the next song had come on, Brandon and Hayley had joined them, refilling Joan, Johana, and Tristan's cups as the group danced and joined in on the party. Colby, by then, was already buzzed, and she and Cody were in a moving make out session among everyone who was dancing.

* * *

Grace and Luke had made it back to Luke's dorm by midnight. Sweet Lou was out for the night, returning tomorrow for the party that Grace and Luke were supposed to attend with him. Grace tiredly dropped herself onto Luke's bottom bunk after they dropped their stuff by his desk. Luke went to check the message on the machine since it was blinking. He hit the button and then sat next to Grace, who was lying back across the bed now, with her legs bent and her feet on the floor revealing just enough of the flat, toned and tan skin of her abdomen to garner a stare from Luke as he listened. Thankfully, she was lying back with her hands rubbing her head and her eyes closed. 

"Hey geek, this is your friendly, lovable, wonderful older brother calling you," Kevin's voice rang out in the room. Luke shook his head.

"Yeah, yeah, get on with it." He said to the machine.

"Just calling to let you know that you, my friend, are officially an uncle," Kevin's voice continued. Grace sat up now, as Luke's back straightened. "That's right; your nephew weighed in at six pounds, one ounce at 7:04 pm, Eastern Standard Time, after twenty-eight, that's right, count 'em, twenty-eight hours of labor. His name is Caleb." Kevin continued. "I just wanted to let you know. Give me a call here at the hospital when you get in from work, the number is 555-8390. Later." The machine clicked, signaling that the message was over.

"Wow, poor Lily." Grace nodded, noting that Luke's mouth hung up slightly, as if he was still in shock. Grace lightly shoved his shoulder, leaning back on her palms on the bed. "What are you waiting for, call them." She smiled. Luke hesitated only a second before grabbing the phone and dialing the number. As he spoke to Kevin, Grace smiled slightly. She grabbed her cell phone. There were no missed calls. It was strange that Joan wouldn't have gotten the message and called Grace's cell, ecstatic about the baby. Slightly worried, she clicked through to Joan's number and called her cell. After four rings, Joan picked up. Before Grace could say hello, giggling greeted her.

"Hello?" A muffled, slurred voice answered.

"Girardi?" Grace asked. Her phone was fuzzing out slightly.

"Graaaaacceee!" Joan sung. "Heyyyyyy! How _are_ you?" she asked as if she were talking to a puppy.

"Luke and I just got the message about the baby, did you get it?" Grace asked, looking at Luke, strangely. Luke had just hung up with Kevin and Lily and was looking at her, trying to gage from here expression what was going on.

"Nooooooo," Joan drawled, waiting for Grace to tell her. "Tell me allll about it, sista!"

"They had the baby. His name is Caleb." Grace said quickly. "Are you drunk, Girardi?"

"Me?" Joan's voice hit a high pitch that made Grace cringe. "Nevvvverrrrr…" Joan said sounding dramatically grave. Grace felt her jaw clench.

"Where's Rove?" She said into the receiver as Luke sat back down next to her, extending an arm around her. Grace pushed his arm away, and stood. Her right hand held the phone to her ear and her left arm crossed her and burrowed itself under her right elbow angrily as she paced slightly.

"I thin' 'e went for liquid refreshness," Joan said, slurring some words and mistaking refreshness for refreshments. Grace felt her face turn red. She tossed the phone to Luke.

"You talk to her. I need to get some air." She left the room.

"Grace?" Luke called. He put the phone to his ear. "Joan? Are you drunk?" He asked her.

"Luke! Hey Luke!" Joan started mumbling about The Matrix and Mr. & Mrs. Smith for a good five minutes before Adam returned and took the phone. He apologized to Luke and told Luke to apologize to Grace. Then he thanked Luke for the information about Caleb and they hung up so that Luke could find Grace.

* * *

"You all right?"Luke asked, sitting on the cement steps of the dormitory next to Grace. Grace sighed. She nodded. "Liar," Luke said. Grace looked at him and then looked straight ahead, staring into nothing. 

"I was thinking of Judith." She admitted. Granted Grace didn't really know Judith, nor did she particularly like Judith past the extent that Judith had helped Joan stay together when Joan needed someone most and none of the others could be there for her. Of course, Grace didn't want what happened to Judith to happen, her dying so horribly and all. It had been Grace, after all, who had stopped Judith from dying before she was attacked, when she'd suffered alcohol poisoning at the party she and Joan had thrown. The idea that Joan was across the country, trashed, after witnessing Judith's drinking experience, enraged Grace. Grace knew that her anger was multiplied by the years of alcohol abuse her mother had put her through.

She ran a hand through her hair and sighed again, closing her eyes and putting her head down to rub her neck. Luke reached out his left hand and rubbed her back gently.

"Adam said she's all right. She just drank one too many." He said. Grace looked at him. "She's not throwing up, and she's lucid…however obnoxiously drunk." He added. He shrugged. "People need to test their limits to see what they are?" He suggested. "I'm sure after tomorrow morning she won't be doing that again anytime soon." He said. Grace looked at him.

"Don't you dare think about getting wasted at this party tomorrow," She said, almost shaking. The idea of having to take care of Luke in the same way she had to take care of her mother chilled her down to her bones, unnerving her greatly.

"I'm not that dumb, Grace." He assured her. "But," He waited for her to look at him again. "That doesn't mean I won't try one, or two." Grace looked at him wearily. She knew it was unreasonable to expect her friends, and her boyfriend, to despise alcohol as much as she did, but she couldn't help it. Taking a deep breath, she nodded.

"If you lose control of yourself, I'm gone, Luke." She said seriously, staring at him. Luke let himself smile a little, despite the seriousness of the situation.

"Now that is surely enough to keep a geek like me in line." He said with a slight nod and a sly look. "Come on, let's go upstairs." He stood and held his hand out to her. Grace hesitated just a second and then took his hand and stood, wrapped an arm around his waist and rested her head down on his collarbone as he pulled her closer to him and they headed back for his room.

**

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A/N: Ch. 2 Title from "Keg In The Closet" By Kenny Chesney. Ch. 1 Title was "Friday, I'm In Love" By The Cure, just FYI. So, did my longwinded-ness suck or rock your world? **


	3. Your Body Is A Wonderland

**Holds Me Together**

**Rating:** T-M Just in case

**Disclaimer:** At this point do I really need to write more then 'disclaimer' for you to know that I own only the new unheard of characters?

**Reviews:** We're gonna do these in reverse order today. **Tiffany – **NO! You can't give up on me! You shouldn't write for just reviews. Write for yourself and your love of writing and JoA! Get the ideas out and keep 'em going! I'm really glad you love this story. I love your story, think about it, would you like me to stop writing mine? No! Keep writing! Spread the love! **Butterfly Dancing – **I'm not Jewish either…I just like history. And one of the most fascinating periods of history for me to research in WWII, so those statistics came from my head. You're right, it's heartbreaking. Hey, honesty is the best policy, in regard to the GL! **AudreyF**** – **So I take it that Chapter 2 was satisfactory for your additions, hmm? **ProcrastinationQueen**** – **It's good to hear that I'm improving from the last story. I'm pleading the 5th on the Ryan issue. I'll say this, according the the last story, he's currently in jail. Other than that, my lips are sealed. **Laura – **You're speechless? Wow, I must've done good! P.S. where are you from? The concert was AWESOME! ) **Sam – **Don't take offense, I went backwards to give you the last laugh since you wrote such an awesomely long review. (In case you weren't sure, I love long reviews. Moving on.) Sam, you are my hero. I'm glad it was world rocking for you. Congrats on the essay! I know the Holocaust thing seemed random, but I wanted to work it in, and it was another way to show Grace getting in people's faces when she knew what was right and fundamentally wrong. The M&M thing came from a couple of things. I love M&M's for one, as you can tell by the constant mention of them when they all watch movies and stuff. Also from the Tommy Boy quote that, actually, appeared in season one of JoA when J/A watch it about the "Your brain is covered in a thin candy shell." And lastly, I thought it fit Grace well, don't you? As for the belly ring, I wasn't really focusing on it because I wasn't thinking her shirt would ride up enough to see it. I plan to mention it later actually, in an interesting way so look for it! A-ha! Surprise on the baby front, eh? Double surprise on the drunk Girardi front too, huh? I'm full of surprises! As I said before, honesty equals the best policy for the GL, in my opinion. ) I guess you'll have to read on to see if Luke sticks to his word and if Sweet Lou gets trashed, now won't you? Muahahah! As for Grace staying at Luke's (Gutter? Whose mind is in the gutter? Maybe they did more than sleeping? Hmmmm…..), well you'll have to read on for that too. Loved the long review! SamMy Hero!

**A/N:** Phew! That was a lot. Okay. Ahem. Sorry for the piss poor proofreading this chapter times ten, because, since you don't know, I did a little drinking at the bar of my own (owning up to my age a little bit, shhhh). So, anything that's a typo is because I missed it when rereading it. Sorry! Read on with yo bad self, now!

**

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Chapter 3 – You're Body Is A Wonderland****

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WARNING: This chapter contains sexual content! I'm sorry if this offends you! Consider yourself warned though!**

* * *

"She's still asleep." Joan vaguely heard Johana say after she'd answered the door on Saturday morning. Johana herself had a headache and was starving, but felt nauseous all the same. Tristan was still asleep in Johana's bunk. Colby had stayed at the frat house with Cody. Adam was in the doorway. After knocking for five minutes, Johana had figured out that neither Tristan nor Joan were moving and had resolved to force herself out of bed. She'd climbed halfway down the ladder, stepped onto the part of her desk next to the lofted bed and jumped down, a little unsteady and sauntered to the door. There she found Adam, looking worried, and tired himself.

"Oh." He glanced at Joan's bed but didn't see her there.

"She passed out on the couch because she had to keep going to the bathroom." Johana pointed, rubbing her left eye and yawning. Adam nodded slightly.

"I, uhm, figured we could go get food." Adam informed Johana, glancing at Joan on the couch as he approached slowly. "Grace said, uhm, food…and some orange juice or something like that would make everyone…you know…feel better." He said. Johana's stomach lurched and gurgled. She blushed.

"I think my body said amen to that." She said.

"Do you want me to wake them up?" Adam pointed with his thumb over his shoulder to Joan and Tristan-Joan who was sprawled out on the couch with a foot on the floor, an arm in the air, and her other forearm across her eyes, and Tristan, flayed on his stomach with his arms and legs stretched out every which way. Johana grabbed her shower caddy and a small towel along with some cloths.

"Yeah…I'll go wash my face and such." She excused herself and left. Adam reached up and grabbed Tristan's arm. Tristan's head popped up off of the pillow and he looked around wildly.

"Wha? Huh? No, it wasn't me officer!" He said, startled. Adam smiled but tried not to laughed. "Ohhh…Adam! What's up, yo?" He asked, his eyes half closed.

"Go downstairs and clean yourself up," Adam said. "We're going for food."

Tristan didn't need to be told twice that food was in the plan. With surprising agility, he leapt from the bed and left the room without a second thought. Adam went over and knelt by Joan's head. He smiled, seeing her mouth hanging open slightly. A tiny rumble signified that she wasn't quite snoring but she wasn't just breathing. Reaching up carefully, he gently shook her shoulder.

"Jane…wake up." He said softly. Joan's lips moved, but no words quite came out. Moments later he heard a desperate mumble.

"But…no…Koala's…they're not supposed…to have hats…" She whimpered.

"Jane, it's Adam," Adam tried again.

"Adam…good!" Joan seemed relieved, still asleep. "Tell them! Tell them they can't have hats and be mean!" She demanded. Adam chuckled slightly and then cleared his throat.

"You damn koalas! You are _not_ allowed to have hats _and_ be mean! Stop that," He ordered. A smile came to Joan's lips and she hummed as she breathed a sigh of relief, snuggling into the couch now.

"Thank you, baby," She said happily. Adam's shoulders bobbed a tiny bit as he laughed. He felt momentarily guilty for egging her dream on instead of waking her up, so he shook her again.

"Jane." He said a little louder. Joan's eyes slipped open with a sharp intake of air. She squinted at the light coming through the window and Adam moved to block it.

"Adam?" She asked, reaching out to touch his face and make sure he was real. She leaned her head back and rolled it to the side with a sigh. "Oh thank goodness. I just had the worst dream, but then you saved me-,"

"From the mean Koala bears in hats?" Adam cut her off. Joan looked at him, blushing. He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry…it was funny…you were talking," He shrugged. Joan shoved his shoulder lightly.

"You are so mean." She complained. She groaned and put her hands on her head. "Ohhhhh…." She groaned in pain again. "Everything hurts…"

"We're going to go get food. Trist and Jo are already getting ready." He pushed her hair out of her face. Joan looked at him. He studied her, trying to gage if she was really okay, besides the headache and probable stomach ache he could tell from how she was holding her head and now her stomach.

"I'm sorry." She said with half of a sheepish, apologetic, tight lipped smirk. Adam shrugged.

"You weren't so bad," He lied. Joan picked up on this.

"What did I do?" She asked.

"Kevin and Lily had a baby boy." Adam informed. "His name is Caleb and he is…I forget how much he weighed."

Joan sat up quickly, grabbing her head at the blood rushing around her from the sudden movement. "That's great! Is everything okay?" She asked, excitement taking over. Adam nodded.

"They said he's fine." He assured, looking down some as he was now seated on the makeshift coffee table.

"Uh-oh…did I talk to mom last night in that state?" She asked. Adam looked at her.

"Oh…no, no you didn't." He shook his head.

"What's wrong then?" Joan asked him.

"Grace called your cell phone last night to tell you about the baby, after Luke got the message…" Adam told her. Joan looked at him.

"Please tell me you answered." She closed her eyes, hoping. She opened them and Adam shook his head. Joan sighed, flopping back down, covering her face. "Great…she hates me now, right?"

"No…actually she didn't sound too bad today." He informed her. Joan looked at him. "But she ordered me to take you somewhere and get you food, juice, water and aspirin." He said, standing up and holding his hands out. "So you must get yourself cleaned up just enough to go get food." He said. Joan sighed.

"O-kaaay…" she said, slowly moving to gather some clothes and her own shower caddy.

* * *

"Yeah?" Grace answered her cell phone breathlessly. She had stopped jogging to grab it from its holster and now held it to her ear with her left hand while holding a stitch in her right side with her right hand and leaning over some to catch her breath. She breathed heavily into the phone.

"Hey, Grace." Joan said guiltily. Grace closed her eyes for a second and found the nearest bench to sit on, still catching her breath.

"And how does your head feel today, Girardi?" She asked, knowingly.

"Look, Grace, I'm sorry…for freaking you out and all-," Joan began.

"Girardi, can it." Grace interrupted her. "I know you're not sorry. You're sorry you feel like shit today though, that I'm sure of. And you don't have to apologize to me anyway," Grace's temper was a little shorter than she'd meant it to be. "Apologize to your liver."

"Okay, I deserved that," Joan admitted. She sighed. "Look, I was just, you know, having fun," she excused herself. "I just had three…and like, a half, beers. And besides, Adam was there with me, he wouldn't have let anything happen to me," Joan assured. Grace shook her head on her end of the line. "It's okay to have fun once in a while you know. It's normal to go to parties and get a little tipsy. It's not like I'm making a habit out of it." As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Grace heard the sound of Joan clapping her hand over her mouth.

Grace closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath. "Whatever you say, Girardi," She replied, trying to be understanding about what Joan had just said. In truth, she was mulling over the fact that she and Luke were going to a party themselves that night and Luke was going to be drinking, albeit one, two at the most.

"Grace, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded," Joan truly did sound sorry.

"Look," Grace said, feeling uncomfortable. "Forget it. It's your life to make choices with, Girardi, I can't hold them against you," She sighed. After a beat she continued. "So help me if you get carried away with it…" Grace trailed off and let the sentence hang over them.

"Never," Joan said solemnly. Grace's threat of violence only proved to Joan that she cared what happened to Joan.

"So…Aunt Joan…God that makes you sound old," Grace changed the subject. Joan laughed.

"Yeah well, if you think for one second that kid won't grow up knowing you as Aunt Grace you're so wrong!" Joan replied.

"Oh you think so, do you?" Grace asked as she started walking back for her dorm and kept talking to Joan, both laughing as they picked on each other and talked about Kevin, Lily, Caleb and how Will and Helen were reacting to their first grandchild.

* * *

"Okay, cavemen, let's go, come on." Grace said. She was already supporting most of Sweet Lou's weight. It wasn't that he was too drunk to walk; it was more that he was laughing like a hyena on Ritalin. He sounded like a stoner even though, to Grace's knowledge, he hadn't done anything but get in a drinking contest with a football player who had no neck. Now he was laughing and stumbling slightly, and he'd wrapped a strong, lanky arm around Grace's shoulders, leaning on her as she made her way to the door. She reached out and grabbed Luke's arm with her free right hand. Luke looked up.

"We leaving?" He asked her. Grace nodded. She offered a smile and a wave to the group of three guys and two girls they had been hanging with-all of who were Lou's friends. They waved to her happily dazed.

"You are so cool! You have to come back next week!" One girl, Kit, said excitedly. She turned to Charlie, the guy next to her and, tugging on his arm, pointed to Grace. "You-She's cool! Isn't she cool?" Charlie nodded in agreement.

"Smart, swift and sly," He nodded again. "I'm down with that." He shook Luke's hand as Luke followed Grace and Lou.

"YO! SO LONG TO SWEEEEEEET LOU!" Charlie and Kit called. Grace could tell this was probably their normal goodbye to Sweet Lou as he left a party. Lou gave them a sly wave and a wink as he walked, still holding onto Grace like she was an anchor support.

"Can I have my body back now?" Grace asked once they were outside and on the sidewalk. Lou laughed harder and let her go, swaying as he stepped away.

"Well they like you!" He said happily. "I told you they would. You two need to hit the books and work less and hit my parties more." He nodded. Grace looked between Luke and Lou. Lou, obviously, had been drinking at parties since high school. He had held his liquor well, even beating the football player who was three times his size in muscle and beer-gut mass. Luke was wobbling a bit, but not much. He seemed lucid enough, though he was grinning widely, almost from ear to ear as he and Lou bantered and swung around parking meters as they walked.

"Dude, I'm starving." Lou said, stopping in his tracks and grabbing his stomach as if the most important question in the universe had been answered with that sentence.

"I know, me too." Luke nodded as they kept walking. "JB's is open," He suggested. Lou and Luke already knew their answer was yes, so they both looked at Grace. Grace sighed.

"All right, we'll go to JB's." She said. Luke wrapped an arm around her as Sweet Lou walked ahead, jumping over parking meters now. Luke leaned over and kissed the side of her head.

"I can bring you back to your room if you want?" He asked her. Grace glanced at him. He looked concerned. She wasn't prepared for him to look concerned. She figured that since he'd hardly eaten dinner, he was skinny even if all the lifting at JB's had toned his torso, and he'd never really drank before in his life except to have wine with dinner sometimes when the Girardi's had pasta. She hadn't expected him to hold the two beers he had well, even if it was only two.

"No…it's all right," She told him, looking ahead now. "I could use some Triple Chocolate Strawberry Surprise actually."

"Okay, if you're positive," Luke still looked at her. Grace nodded and Luke kissed her again as they continued their trek.

* * *

"Ella? What are you doing here this late?" Grace asked. She and Luke were in their normal booth, with Sweet Lou sitting a chair backwards against the end of the table and straddling it, telling some extravagant story about skydiving to Luke, swinging his hands wildly as he told it and Luke nodded, listening. Ella had come over with some menus and put them on the table, standing next to Grace. Grace noted that Ella's eyes had dark circles around them and she looked exhausted. Grace looked around and noticed that there was a man sitting at the counter with a coffee and some pancakes, reading a newspaper. There was a table in the far corner of the restaurant full of 5 or 6 girls who had obviously been at a party as well. They had drinks and were talking vividly to each other about what to order.

"Hey there, Gracious," Ella smiled slightly and rubbed the side of her face with her right hand, which had a pen in it. "Rusty and Hank called out for the night and JB had nobody else to fill in," She explained. "I offered to do it." She took a seat next to Grace when Grace slid over for her. "I need the money anyway. Plus it's slow, it's late." Ella shrugged. "What can I get you kids?"

Sweet Lou finished his story and he and Luke greeted Ella. Luke introduced Sweet Lou, who promptly made a pass at Ella, who did look 15 years younger than her age, and kissed her hand as he shook it. Grace rolled her eyes and Ella laughed at Lou.

"I'll have the omelet special, white toast, coffee…and you on the side?" Lou said hopefully, handing the menu back to Ella, who was writing this down. Luke hit Sweet Lou's shoulder with the menu. "Ow," Lou said dramatically. He shrugged, innocently. "What, she's a beautiful woman?" He pointed out. Ella and Grace laughed. Grace would have pegged Sweet Lou as a secondary Friedman, only she'd noticed that he was just a bit smoother, much more attractive, and not the type to follow people around in hopes of them giving in and agreeing to a pity date.

"And for you, Skywalker?" Ella asked Luke.

"The usual," Luke told her, handing her the menu. Ella nodded, jotting something down. She turned to Grace.

"Let me guess, Gracious…" She narrowed her eyes with a sly grin. "Triple Chocolate Strawberry Surprise?" She said, already knowing the answer was yes. Grace nodded with a smile.

"You know me well, master yoda," She said, putting her hands up in defeat.

"Great, give me 10 minutes, kids." Ella winked and left the booth. Sweet Lou seemed to finally notice the table full of girls who, it happened, were discussing him, across the diner.

"Excuse me," Lou stood, straightened himself out and strutted over to the table. "Ladies…" He grinned broadly and joined them. Grace rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"He's a piece of work," She looked at Luke. Luke was staring at her; the left half of his lips formed half of a goofy, lopsided grin as she watched his eyes roam her face. "What?" She asked him. He shook his head.

"Nothing," He said simply. He glanced in Lou's direction. "He's going to kick me out of the room tonight," Luke indicated Sweet Lou, who was chatting up the 6 girls at the table. Grace snickered slightly.

"I'd clean your room thoroughly in the morning then, no telling what STDs will be breeding in there when you return," She mused.

"Does that mean I can stay with you?" Luke questioned her. Grace looked at him.

"Yeah, sure, why not?" She asked. Luke smiled and shrugged.

"I didn't want to just force myself on you." He grinned. Grace eyed him curiously. She would have spoken up, but Ella returned to the table with their coffee and food. She noticed Sweet Lou was at the other table and took his order to him over there.

* * *

Adam and Joan were sprawled together on the couch looking at the pictures Kevin had e-mailed to her of Caleb and the family. She had printed them out eagerly and was fawning over them. Adam smiled, watching her and looking at the pictures as she showed them to him.

"Look, he's so cute!" Joan gushed, pushing a picture of Caleb snoozing in his hospital bassinet wrapped up in a blanket with a cap on his tiny head. Adam nodded.

"He is," And Adam wasn't lying just to appease her either. Caleb really was a cute baby. Of course, this could be said about most babies. And, considering he was pretty certain that he could consider Caleb to be his nephew, Adam felt that Caleb was and especially beautiful baby. They were still chatting about Caleb and the family when the door flew open and Colby stormed in, screaming at someone. Joan and Adam looked up, confused.

"I can't believe you!" Colby screamed, throwing her purse down on her bed and stomping her foot like, Joan noted, a three year-old having a temper tantrum. Joan and Adam exchanged glances. Was Colby fighting with Cody? The answer to their question stepped through the door almost as quickly as Colby, in the form of Brandon.

"What the hell is your problem?" He screamed back at her angrily.

"My _problem_ is you believe in nothing daddy taught us!" She yelped back.

"That's because he's a racist!" Brandon shouted back, flinging his arms as wildly as Colby, as they stood almost face to face. Both were turning red. "The only thing he succeeded in teaching me was not to have as closed and ignorant of a mind as he had!"

Joan and Adam were staring now, confused.

"I can't believe you're cavorting with that…girl, Brandon!" Colby said, sounding frustrated. "You don't really like her do you? She's just a fling right?"

Joan's eyebrows arched high on her forehead. Adam's moved similarly as they looked at each other and then back at the argument.

"No! Colby! She's not a fling!" Brandon said, enraged. Colby's face flushed.

"I…I can't believe this!" Colby all but covered her ears and started going "La-la-la-la-I can't hear you!" At least, Joan pictured her doing that.

"Well believe it Colby!" Brandon shouted. "I don't need your approval of my girlfriend! And I don't need Dad's either!"

"Uhm…guys?" Joan asked meekly from the couch. Colby and Brandon looked at Joan and Adam. "Sorry, to, uhm, intrude but-,"

"Forget it. You weren't intruding on anything. Nothing important at least." Colby almost snarled at Brandon and grabbed her purse and keys. "I'm out." And just like that, she left the room, quicker then she'd entered. Brandon's shoulder slumped as Colby slammed the door behind her to emphasize her point.

"Brandon?" Joan asked. He looked up at her, wearily.

"Are you okay, yo?" Adam asked. Brandon sighed.

"My sister…has a couple of hang ups thanks to our dad…" He said weakly, knowing this didn't' excuse her racist view of people. Joan and Adam nodded.

"Why don't you sit down and spill to us? It'll be like therapy." Joan offered. Brandon wavered a second to consider this and then walked over to the beanbag and flopped in it, facing them. Joan and Adam listened intently, offering any advice and support they could for nearly two hours before Brandon spotted the pictures on the footlocker and launched Joan into an excited gush, talking a mile a minute about her new nephew.

* * *

"I guess Missy's not here?" Luke asked, seated on Grace's bed, lounging back so he was leaning against the wall and his legs hung lazily out across the bed and then in the air. Grace set her jacket down on top of her desk chair where Luke had discarded his and kicked her boots off as she checked her machine for messages.

"No, she had some...4-H rodeo weekend thing." Grace shrugged. "She's not due back until tomorrow early afternoon I think," She crossed the room and slid herself on the bed next to Luke. Luke nodded, sitting up straight now so that he could slight his arm around her. Grace eyed him for a moment, biting her lip, lost in thought for the moment. Luke studied her face, knowing she was thinking intently about something.

"What's on your mind?" He asked her. Grace just looked at him. She was searching for something. What it was, he didn't know, but he hoped she found it.

While on the phone with Joan today, Grace had-half accidentally, half on purpose-confessed to Joan her problem. She had told everything to Joan. How she really wanted to tell Luke how she felt for him. How she couldn't make herself do it no matter how hard she tried. How Friday night after Joan's phone call when they finally did go back in and Luke had fallen asleep, thinking Grace was already out, she'd opened her eyes and watched him for an hour, all the while running her hand through his hair and wishing he would wake up and she could tell him. Joan had listened to Grace expel the problem out to her, and, much to Grace's surprise, had neither laughed nor thrown and 'ew, I don't want to know this,' at Grace.

"Grace, you can't force yourself to say 'I love you' to someone." Joan had replied when Grace had finished and taken a deep, shaky, nervous breath. "It will just come out…when it's meant too." Grace couldn't remember the last time Joan had given her advice like this. Grace had apologized for ranting and they said a goodbye and hung up.

Now, in the room with Luke, staring intently at his eyes as he stared back at her, confused, Grace still couldn't get herself to say it out loud. She found herself getting lost inside his eyes, where he claimed that if she looked hard enough she'd find his soul there, for her to see. She wondered if he'd ever looked into her eyes and seen into her soul. She'd never asked, and probably never would, though. At a loss for an answer to Luke about what was on her mind, she reached up one hand to his cheek and leaned in for a long kiss.

Luke kissed her back almost as ferociously as she kissed him. Her hand tangled into his hair, which wasn't very long anyway. She felt one of his hands snake its way through her hair as he tried to pull her closer to him even though they were already tangled together. His other hand, she felt, ran its way to her side, his arm curving around her. Deepening their kiss, both of them opened their mouths further to allow their tongues contact, tasting the sweet flavor of each other as they moved slightly and Luke felt himself leaning further down over top of Grace.

Within fifteen minutes the couple's make-out session had progressed to groping, kissing and the loss of some of their clothes. They fumbled easily, and laughed at themselves as they maneuvered around each other with a kiss here, Luke's lips down her neck, Grace's trouble at removing his belt since he was crushed so close against her, Luke's trouble figuring out just how exactly a contraption like a bra, with only two little clasps, could be so hard to undue when your girlfriend was busying herself with leaving kiss trails along your neck and collarbone.

It wasn't until they had progressed past the point of no return for either of them that Luke had asked her if she wanted to keep going. His face was so close to her that their noses were touching and both of their chests heaved as they struggled to catch their breath. Grace was only able to nod, despising the space between their lips and wishing he would accept her nod and grant her another kiss. Luke smiled and leaned in, knowingly. He dodged her lips and in the weakness of the moment Grace let out a strangled whimper as his lips gravitated towards her ear. She heard a whispered I love you. It wasn't the first time he'd said it since they'd started kissing, but she didn't mind it. She closed her eyes as he brought his lips down upon her neck, and then down to her collarbone, and finally down her chest where he stayed, trailing back and forth as her back arched against him and she pulled a hand up through his hair, as if holding onto him would keep her from flying away as she bit down on her lip.

She felt her back arching and she felt her leg wrap around his and her ankle lock into the back of his knee, pulling him closer against him. She smiled to herself as she heard him moan next to her ear, having traversed his lips back to her neck by her ear. Dragging a hand down his back, she buried her face into his neck and collarbone and hungrily kissed and sucked at his skin.

Luke broke her attention to his shoulder and caught her lips in his again. This kiss was more then just for the hell of it, as all of their kisses had been. It was carnal, passion, fervor, love, tenderness, and care balled up into one action. She pulled her face away with a gasp as her eyes closed for a few seconds as Luke's fingers found their way to her abdomen and rummaged around her navel piercing, sending wonderful shivers through her body.

"I…_hate_…when you do that…" She lied through almost gritted teeth. Luke grinned, letting his nose nuzzle into her neck before leaving more kisses there, lightly lapping at her neck.

"You do not." He replied in a muffled mumble before he let his fingers play around it again and she sucked in a deep breath.

"I love you."

The words were so quiet that Grace wasn't positive she'd actually said them and in the heat of the moment had just imagined she'd said them out loud. Of course, that was until she opened her eyes and saw Luke, frozen, poised over her, eyes wide in shock. Grace swallowed hard, her eyes burned, and she knew they'd involuntarily filled. Luke's face softened and his lips curled into a knowing smile as he reached up and traced her face with his hand. He nodded and opened his mouth to speak but she shook her head.

"I-I…" She cleared her throat and blinked her eyes before breathing deeply. "Luke, I love you." She said. Her cheeks flushed only a tiny bit more then they had from the couples' exertion, but she didn't care. All she cared was that Luke had an arm around her, holding her against him, and his hand wiping away carefully at the tear that had strayed from her eye down her cheek. He smiled warmly at her and leaned in close.

"I know." He told her. "I love you, Grace." He smiled wider and then closed the gap between them kissing her again. It was different, though not by much now. Grace held him tighter to her, almost afraid, but also relieved and longing never to be more than millimeters apart from him again. They continued to kiss, progressing back to where they had been, tossing, turning, groping and preparing themselves to continue on furthering their relationship to its fullest extent for the time being.

**

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A/N: Hey, I warned you! Chapter title, obviously John Mayer, Your Body Is a Wonderland, fitting, no? What d'you think? Good? Crappy? Needs improvement? What? Tell me people!**


	4. You Look Good In My Shirt

**Holds Me Together**

**Rating:** T-M Just in case

**Disclaimer:** At this point do I really need to write more then 'disclaimer' for you to know that I own only the new unheard of characters?

**Reviews:** **Payton – **Welcome aboard! All past reading and non-reviewing is forgiven! Thank you for an ego boost! **Audrey – **Howdy, how ya doin' there? I'm not really positive how many chapters I'm going to do. I will tell you though that I'll probably take the story through the entire school year, so we'll see. ) P.S. – Any updates on anarchy coming soon? (cough, cough) **Laura – **Look, I know you're addicted okay, but stop coming up with good questions like that! Although what's very ironic is I was writing this chapter and in the middle of writing a God part when I read your review-GET OUT OF MY BRAIN YOU! P.S. – Ahhh…The Netherlands, right? One of the most densely populated and geographically low-lying countries in the world (betcha didn't think I knew that hmmm?) Can't argue with a place that Rembrandt, Vermeer, Escher, van Gogh and hey, de Kooning came from right? I need to go on a trivia show, I know too much random stuff. Moving on, so what did you do while you were here last month? **Butterfly Dancing – **Glad you…er…enjoyed it? ) Feel free to reread it as many times as you like? That's kind of like rewinding a scene of a movie isn't it? Glad it received your stamp of approval! **KJFlygirl87 – **Good to see you onboard for the sequel! More is coming! **Tiffany – **YAY! I can't wait for your update! Thank you! The faithful love you for this! Hey I have the same reviewers you know, and I love them all! Even if only two or even if it was just you reviewing! So keep it up, and we'll keep being faithful! P.S. this story's going to be long…who knows what will happen to JA and GL? Or any of the other couples involved in the story? I'll tell you who, me! Until I write them for you! Muahahaha! **Sam – **Ohh Sam, Sammy, Sam, Sam, Sam, where do I begin? You're welcome. Phew, it didn't seem random? That's good then. I love M&Ms…we were totally both in the gutter for that one. I figured Grace would be the one to give Adam advice for the hang over remedy. Yeah, the hyena on Ritalin was a little over the top but it was funny! Come on! I couldn't make a liar or promise breaker out of Luke, could I? We have a couple of places like JB's around me, not in Philly, down at the beach, in South Jersey where my parents have a house. It's lots of fun to have a place like that, let me tell you. Never a dull moment! Honestly, I've never done anything 4-H related so if I funk it up, you can slap me. You'll see why I put her in 4-H when you read this chapter. Thanks for the comments about the last scene. I didn't want to go too crazy with it, but at the same time keeping it too tame wouldn't do it justice. I HATED those socks BTW! Yeah…I think everyone has clasp trouble at some point. Clasps are evil. It's like a Chinese finger trap-the harder someone tries to undo them, the tighter they stay stuck! I told you the ring was coming in at a good point didn't I? It's all in my brain, oh yeah. Thank you for my long ego boosting, where would I be without you my friend? )

**A/N:** Phew! That was a lot again! So exciting to hear from everyone! I LOVE YOU GUYS! Okay. Ahem. Sorry for the piss poor proofreading as always. Sorry! Read on with yo bad self, now! Be warned there are some shockers in this one! Watch out!

**

* * *

Chapter 4 – You Look Good In My Shirt**

Of all things in the world, waking up late for work was Joan's least favorite. She could always think of things that were worse of course, but still, she hated waking up late for work. So on Sunday morning, two days before Halloween, with three papers to write by Tuesday, Joan awoke to the sound of Colby grumbling, climbing out of her own bunk and angrily hitting Joan's alarm clock which had been going off for nearly a half an hour.

"Wake _up_, Joan!" Colby threw a pillow from the couch at Joan. Joan lurched awake, confused and a bit dazed momentarily. She focused her eyes and saw Colby standing next to their bunks, looking up at Joan with her fists on her hips.

"What's wrong, Colby?" Joan asked tiredly.

"You're alarm's been going off for like, ever!" Colby said angrily. Johana sucked in some air and sat straight up when Colby punctuated her sentiment by slamming her own desk chair into her desk loudly. Joan looked at the clock and her eyes widened.

"Oh, crap!" She stumbled as she tried to get out of bed and succeeded in tangling herself in her blanket and as a result toppled out of the bunk and landed on an unsuspecting, wide-eyed Colby.

"Oh my _God_!" Johana couldn't help laughing as she herself hurriedly climbed down, having just focused her own eyes in time to witness this. "Are you two okay?" She helped Joan untangle herself from Colby, who was grumbling angrily.

"Don't touch me, leave me alone." Colby warned Johana, who simply held her hands up innocently.

"Okay, whatever, your highness." Johana replied. Brandon had run into Johana the day before in the campus cafeteria. Once he'd joined her, she asked him what was wrong. After only a moment of studying Johana with a guilty look on his face he'd promptly confessed to her all of Colby's sentiments, including the issues that Colby had with Johana, Tristan and Hayley. Johana had resolved to try not to let this get to her too much in an effort to avoid confrontation and problems between herself, Colby and Joan since they all had to live together for the rest of the year. At least now Johana understood most of the looks that Colby gave her.

"Sorry." Joan said guiltily to Colby, who just scoffed.

"Thanks for waking me up." She huffed, grabbing her things and heading for a shower. Joan sighed, looking at the clock. She was glad she'd taken a late shower the night before. She could get away with showering after work. She grabbed her things hurriedly and went to brush her teeth, clean her face and get ready for work.

After Joan had managed to get together, grab her things and make it outside, she looked at her watch. It was 11:45 and she had to open at noon. Instead of walking the 1.7 miles she went to the street and hailed a cab quickly. It was only a short ride, but it was faster than walking. She climbed in the cab.

"Where to, Joan?" The cab driver asked, grinning into the mirror. Joan groaned and put her head back on the seat with a sigh.

"If you're all knowing, should you know where I'm going?" She asked, lifting her head to look at him. He grinned revealing two gold teeth, and nodded.

"Right you are. Let's get you to work." He turned the meter on and pulled onto the street. "How does your head feel today?" He asked her with a knowing grin.

"You know if the reason for me to go to the party was to get hung over then I don't get it." Joan piped up. Cab Drive God laughed at her.

"I didn't tell you to drink anything, Joan." He said. Joan thought about this for a second and offered a nod of her head. It was true.

"So then what was the big deal? To have fun?" Joan asked skeptically. "Wait, am I going to get an answer?"

"Brandon and Hayley would not have gone to the party, had Brandon not found out that you and your friends were going." Cab Driver God told her, as if this explained everything. Joan waited for him to continue.

"Aaaannd?" She questioned when he didn't. God shook his head and chuckled with a sigh.

"If Hayley and Brandon hadn't appeared together at the party, Colby would not have found out they were together." He explained further.

"Wait…are you saying Hayley and Brandon _shouldn't_ be together?" Joan asked. This would make no sense, considering that Hayley and Brandon were totally into each other as far as Joan could tell.

"I'm not saying that." God replied. "I'm saying Colby wouldn't have known."

"And if she didn't know Brandon and her wouldn't have gotten into a fight where they're not speaking. So I caused two siblings to hate each other? How is that good?" Joan asked. God glanced in the rear view mirror at Joan.

"So you think Colby's point of view is a good one?" He questioned even though he knew the answer.

"No. She's like a mini-Hitler minus the army, the book, and the vegetarian part-oh! And you know the disgruntled artist rejection thing too." Joan rambled. The cab pulled over outside of 'Know Knew Books.'

"That's 7 dollars Joan." God said.

"Wait, that's it?" Joan asked as she fished into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled ten, knowing she wouldn't get the change back for it.

"Speak your mind Joan." The cab drive said. "Stop avoiding confrontation."

"That's my assignment, huh?" Joan asked, feeling almost cheated. God's assignment was to be Grace for the time being, in essence. Not that this was a bad thing.

"It's not a bad thing to be Grace, Joan." God said, knowingly. "And that's not what I meant anyway. Oh, and go for coffee and maybe a donut at your lunch break." He instructed as she climbed out of the cab and shut the door, leaning down to look in the passenger window.

"I don't like donuts." Joan commented. God gave a wave as he pulled into traffic. Joan sighed and turned to the bookstore.

"It's about time." Grant, one of the other employees said with a smile as he stood up from sitting against the wall and threw his bag over his shoulder, waiting for Joan to unlock the door.

"I've had a hell of a morning, let's just say." She commented, unlocking the door and holding it for him and then locking it behind them as they still had 10 minutes to prepare for the store to open.

"If it makes you feel better I'm late on my rent." Grant commented with a grin.

"I fell off my bunk onto my roommate." Joan said and they both laughed.

"Onto Johana?" Grant asked. Joan shook her head. "Ohh, onto the snotty one?"

"Yup. Colby. That's the one." She nodded as they went about setting up the register and straightening up to some music.

* * *

Luke stared at Grace. It was maybe 8 or 9 in the morning, he wasn't positive since he hadn't glanced at the clock in a few hours. He and Grace were pressed tightly together halfway under her covers. He hadn't fetched his underwear to pull them on; not wanting to move from his current spot and to do so would interrupt Grace anyhow. His right arm was under her and her head was on his chest. They were both turned, perched slightly on their sides, legs tangled around each other. Grace hand sat almost idly on his abdomen, and the other one curled up under her. Luke's arm curled around her to hold her close to him and his hand swept slowly through her hair, down along her face, tracing its outline and back to her hair again. At some point in the hours following their romp between the sheets Grace had groped around in the dark and found that the closest shirt she could reach without leaving the warmth and comfort of Luke's embrace was his white button-up shirt from the night before. She had slid it on her arms and buttoned the bottom 4 or 5 buttons before curling back against Luke.

Luke hadn't been able to fall asleep, the last lingering bits of adrenaline kept him awake; that and the smell and feel of Grace this close to him both literally and metaphorically after their experience, kept him lost in thought as he'd stared at her. Grace looked like she was asleep, but Luke was well aware that she wasn't. He pretended he thought she was though; if she wanted him to think she was asleep, well then he would go along with it.

"I'm not asleep." Grace whispered after a few more lingering moments. Luke smiled as she lay there with her eyes still closed, enjoying his hand running through the strands of her messed hair and along her face.

"I know," He told her simply. Grace grinned and chortled slightly.

"How could you?" She asked him, opening her eyes and turning her head up to meet his.

"Well, for one you breathe slower when you're asleep," He began. "And for two, your hand stops drawing circles on my stomach when you're asleep as well." He smiled. Grace's cheeks flushed a bit. Luke studied her further now leaning only an inch or two back to examine her choice of clothing with a grin.

"What?" Grace asked just a little bit on the self conscious side. Luke just smiled broader.

"You look good in my shirt," He commented. Grace blushed further, turning her head back down and burrowing further against him, into his neck and collarbone. She took a deep breath and sighed as Luke's arm tightened around her. His free hand traveled down her right arm to where her hand was on his stomach, and he entwined his fingers there with hers. Grace felt content, but that feeling soon seeped away as her brain woke from its fog and she began to feel leery. Everything felt perfect and Grace knew for a fact that when everything felt that way something bad was bound to throw a wrench into the mix. Pushing this thought from her mind, because she simply didn't want anything to ruin how she felt, she closed her eyes again when she felt Luke kiss the top of her head.

"Luke?" She asked. She'd been using his name more often lately, but it still felt new to her, having called him many different names for the past couple of years.

"Yeah?" He responded just as quietly.

"I meant it, you know." She wanted to reassure herself more than him.

"Meant what?" Luke asked her, still.

"I love you."

* * *

"Will that be all?" Joan asked, ringing up two books and then looking up to see the customer who was buying them. She vaguely recognized the man with short brown hair that stood in front of her, though she couldn't tell from where.

"Yeah. Hey you're…uhm…you were at the Phi Psi party the other night, right?" He asked. "You were the Matrix couple." He said. Joan nodded.

"That would be true. Do I know you?" She asked curiously.

"Oh, sorry. We met at the party." He held his hand out. "I'm Flynn, Flynn Henry." He explained as Joan shook his hand. "Brandon's roommate-well, one of."

"Oh! Oh, right! You were uhm, the Black Knight, right?" She asked. He nodded, still waiting for a repeat of her name, having forgotten it from the party. "Oh! I'm sorry, I'm Joan." She pointed to the name tag and Flynn slapped his forehead feeling like an idiot for not noticing it before. "So, doing a little shopping are we?" Joan put the books in a bag. "That's $33.24." She said after punching a few buttons on the register.

"Wait, are you sure? They were both 25." Flynn dug his money out. Joan smiled and nodded.

"Employee discount," She winked at him. Flynn grinned appreciatively, handing her the money and getting his change.

"In that case, when do you get off for lunch, I'll buy you a coffee and some food in return for such a generous favor." Flynn suggested. Joan was about to say no when she remembered what Cab Driver God had said. She nodded.

"Okay. I have about 15 minutes." She looked at her watch. "I'll meet you at the coffee shop 5 blocks up?"

Flynn seemed to accept this, nodded, took his bag from her and left. Joan felt a pang of guilt for agreeing to go to lunch with a man who wasn't Adam. _It's not like this is a date though,_ Joan told herself and she resolved to make that point clear to Flynn at the coffee shop. Joan was lost in thought when Grant came up from the floor behind the register and told her he was back from his break and she could go take hers. Joan snapped to attention.

"Oh, right, okay. I'll be back in half an hour." Joan grabbed her bag from the back and left the store, turning right and starting the 5 block trek. When she reached the shop she noticed that Flynn had found a seat among the outside tables. She walked in and approached the table and sat down in a chair across from him under the umbrella.

"I had one while I was waiting, I hope you don't mind?" He smiled warmly signaling his empty coffee cup.

"Oh, not at all." Joan waved her hand.

"So what can I buy you?" Flynn asked. Joan thought for a moment.

"Caramel Mocha Cappuccino with extra caramel on ice…" She paused a moment, "And a donut."

"What kind of donut?" Flynn asked. Joan shrugged. She wasn't a donut person.

"Surprise me?" She offered. Flynn nodded and got up to go to the counter.

"One…Caramel Mocha…something drink, and a donut." Flynn put them down in front of her and sat across form her with his own cup of what looked like plain old coffee.

"Thanks." Joan smiled and accepted the gifts. "Listen, Flynn, I have to make sure we get something straight about…this." She motioned between the two of them and began to ramble off about Adam and their relationship until Flynn laughed and she looked at him, blushing.

"Joan, relax." He took a sip of his cup and put it down, leaning in closer to talk quietly. "I'm gay." He told her. Joan stared at him, feeling stupid. He smiled. "I hope that doesn't make you feel more uncomfortable?" Flynn commented after a few moments of silence.

"Oh! No! Not, at all. I just, wasn't expecting that response." She laughed at herself now. She looked at the donut. It looked like a plain glazed donut. Joan, despite not liking donuts, couldn't just let it sit there after someone else had paid for it for her. So, halfway into a great conversation with Flynn, and halfway through her drink, she picked up the donut and took a bite out of it. It didn't taste so bad, really. They were about to launch into another conversation when Joan started to feel tightness in her throat and her chest.

"Are you all right?" Flynn asked as Joan began to wheeze. She waved her hands, as if that would help her get more air. Flynn began to call for help to the people around him.

"Is she allergic to something?" The manager asked as Flynn knelt over Joan who was barely getting air into her lungs as she gasped, lying on the ground now.

"I don't know. She only had a bite of a donut." Flynn said. Already someone had used a cell phone to call for help, but Joan's color was draining and her mouth hung open as her throat tightened.

"Well we fry the donuts in peanut oil like it says on the sign." The manager said. Joan waved her hand and mustered a nod. It had only been recently that Joan had become allergic to peanuts. She'd eaten half of a peanut butter and banana sandwich she and Grace were sharing outside of school during lunch in one bite. No sooner had she swallowed it and was reaching for her ice tea when she'd started having trouble breathing and soon fell off the cement block they were on, gasping for air. Grace had thought she was joking at first, having eaten many of these sandwiches together in the months before this incident. Once she realized what was happening she'd started calling for someone to help before she could make herself grab her own cell phone and dial for an ambulance. By then a large crowd had formed, including Helen, who had commenced in freaking out. The paramedics barely got to Joan in time. The doctors couldn't explain this sudden deadly allergy. Since then Joan was usually diligent about looking anything peanut related that could affect her.

Flynn noticed that Joan had an outstretched arm reaching for the strap of her bag but unable to get it.

"Is there something in here that can help?" He called out to Joan as he flipped open the bag. She nodded weakly, getting lightheaded and weary now. Flynn dumped the bag upside down and began digging through it.

"It's this right here!" Their waitress grabbed what looked like a big pen and held it out to Flynn.

"What the hell is that?" Flynn was starting to freak out. It was his fault this happened.

"It's an Epi-pen, move." The waitress popped the cap off and dropped next to Joan. She moved the side of Joan's skirt up and stuck the needles into the side of Joan's thigh, holding it there and counting to herself. Joan seemed to breathe a little easier, but not by much. The ambulance was close enough to hear its sirens anyhow, though.

* * *

"So what's on the agenda for the rest of the night?" Luke asked. It was nearly 1:30 and he and Grace were just finishing getting dressed and cleaned up. Luke had to be in work by 2, but he had an early shift tonight, ending at 8. Grace shrugged, putting her boots under her desk. She was closest to Luke that he reached out from sitting on the edge of her bed and pulled her to him and into his lap.

"Oh what, you think you can just grab me whenever you want to now?" She asked with a smile. Luke grinned.

"Maybe…" He teased.

"Oh is that so? Well what if I don't want to kiss you, brain?" She gave his shoulder a shove as he held onto her.

"Oh, you'll crack soon enough, when I refuse to kiss you." He grinned knowingly. Grace narrowed her eyes. Taking advantage of this staring competition Luke let his hand find her navel piercing under her shirt. As Grace's back shuddered she hurriedly smacked his hand away.

"That's cheating!" She yelped. Luke grinned. It was too late though, she'd lost and she leaned in and kissed him. They were vaguely aware that the door had opened.

"OH! Gosh I'm sorry!" Missy McMyles said as she dropped her duffle bag and covered her eyes. Grace and Luke reluctantly pulled apart. Grace stood up, clearing her throat.

"Missy, it's all right, you can open your eyes," She almost laughed, covering her mouth for a second. Missy peeked through her fingers to make sure the coast was clear and then removed her hand smiling.

"I didn't mean to interrupt y'all." She said. Her accent was slight, but it still stood out to anyone in this neck of the woods. Missy was from just outside of Topeka, Kansas. Her father was a rancher and her mother was a lawyer who worked in town and sometimes traveled to Wichita when cases needed it. She had 5 older brothers with the youngest one nearly 5 years older than her and the oldest one nearly 16 years older than her. She was a typical country girl. At first she'd come off to Grace as a peppy cheerleader like the girls in Bring It On, but after a while Grace had seen many sides to Missy.

Sure, Missy was a cheerleader, but she was also a ranch hand for her father since she could remember, and a vegetarian at that to fill in some irony, she loved dogs, she was rough and ready and would take on anyone's football challenge if no-neck football players like the one Sweet Lou had had a drinking contest with, and she was smarter than Grace had pegged her for. She was going to school to be a veterinarian and Grace couldn't figure out how that had led her to Harvard. Missy had spent her weekend volunteering and judging some 4-H contests in southeastern Massachusetts at a county fair featuring a rodeo, which only enticed Missy more since it meant that she got a chance to see her brother, who was a bull rider.

"Oh, no not at all," Grace assured. "We were just getting ready to leave actually,"

"Not on my account, I hope?" Missy asked.

"No, no." Grace said as Luke stood behind her. "Luke has to get to work and we haven't eaten yet today, so we're going to JB's."

Missy laughed. "They should put some beds in there for y'all, it would be cheaper." She said.

"Do you want to join us?" Luke asked her. Missy looked from Luke to Grace. Grace offered a smile.

"Sure if I'm not intruding?" She asked. Both Luke and Grace shook their heads

"Not at all," Grace said as Missy placed her duffle bag by her desk. Luke's stomach growled. He grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry." He said.

"Lead the way then." Missy agreed, following them out as Grace asked her about how the rodeo and fair had gone.

It was just about 6:30 pm when Grace and Missy were in Grace and Luke's normal booth with Avery Hines, who wasn't due to go on shift until 7 and Dina Mae from Grace's class and study group. Luke was working behind the counter today and sending JB Jr. over with coffee for the girls. They were lively chatting about many things, all of their backgrounds, family, friends, telling stories and just laughing. Luke noticed Grace was actively apart of these conversations though she had shied away, just listening at first until Avery, Dina and Missy had all prodded her to join in. When her cell phone rang, Grace excused herself from the booth and sat at the counter so that the others could keep talking. She looked at the caller ID and smiled, hitting the button to answer it and putting it to her ear.

"Hey Rove, three conversations in three days, you miss me that much?" She teased. Luke watched Grace's side of this conversation as he wiped the counter and set out new placemats for it. When Grace's face fell Luke took a few steps towards her. "What?" She practically yelled. "What happened? Is she okay?" Luke now directly in front of Grace on the other side of the counter, looked at her intently, knew she could only be talking about Joan. Grace held her finger up for Luke to wait while she listened intently to what Adam was telling her. "Okay…" Grace said into the phone. "All right…call me if _anything_ changes." She ordered. Seeming satisfied with whatever Adam's response was she said goodbye and hung up. She looked at Luke.

"Joan's in the hospital." She said. Luke was about to speak up, worry etching across his face. "She ate a something that was fried in peanut oil, someone had to use that…pen thing on her and she's at the hospital overnight until late afternoon tomorrow. She's all right. Your mom is already at the airport, she's going to fly out there for two days, even though Joan asked her not to." She explained. Luke nodded, still looking freaked. Grace put her hand over his. "Rove said she's okay." She said, assuring Luke and herself. He just nodded

* * *

"Had a little scare there, did you, Joan?"

The voice came from the bed that was across from Joan's. She turned her head tiredly to the side to look at the person. Adam had gone to make some phone calls. Joan put a hand on her pounding head.

"You tried to kill me…" Joan said weakly.

"I would never, you know that." The person said slowly. Joan focused and saw that it was a girl about her age. She had a bandage on her head, her left wrist was wrapped up and her right leg was in a brace to keep it straight at the knee.

"When did they put you in here?" Joan asked randomly.

"Just a few minutes ago. I was one of the lucky ones." Patient God mused solemnly.

"Lucky ones of what?" Joan asked. God pointed to the TV. It promptly turned on and the volume came up as Breaking News rolled across the TV screen.

"Breaking News comes in now and we take you to the Euro Art Gallery and Stacey Russo who is on the scene, Stacey?" The Anchorman said. Joan stared, wide-eyed at the screen as it went to Stacey Russo who stood with her microphone in front of the Euro Art Gallery which was ablaze with fire trucks all around.

"Thanks Mike. I'm here at the Euro Art Gallery where just 40 minutes ago, a deranged delivery man entered the gallery wielding a shot gun, a flare gun and canister of gasoline. He shot and killed the owner, manager and two security guards of the establishment before dousing the gallery with the gasoline and lighting it ablaze. The five remaining employees managed to escape the scene with minor injuries and are being treated at Stanford University Hospital. The suspect, 43 year old Richard Foster was apprehended as he attempted to flee the scene. Witnesses say he was shouting obscenities and claiming that a letter from God instructed him to commit this crime. We're awaiting word now, as the fire department attempts to get the fire behind me under control, from the Chief of Police about this arrest and the origin of the supposed letter Foster claimed to have received from "God". For Channel 4 News, I'm Stacey Russo reporting live on the scene. Mike, Diane, back to you." Stacey said professionally and expertly. Joan was staring at the screen still as the weather came on followed by sports.

"Adam...A-Adam works there." Joan whispered eventually. God nodded.

"I know." She said. "He's a very good worker."

"He could have been…"

"Killed? Yes I know." God nodded again. Joan looked at her. Tears welled up in Joan's eyes at the thought. "Do you know why Adam is alive?" God watched the thought rolling around in Joan's head. Her eyes widened still further and her mouth hung open.

"H-He's my emergency contact…" She swallowed hard. "They called him when I…was brought here." She said. "An hour ago," She looked at God. God nodded. "How long?"

"Hey let ten minutes before Richard Foster arrived at the Gallery." God said.

"But..."

"Don't finish that statement Joan. You know I won't answer." God said truthfully. Joan was going to ask why the others weren't spared. Suddenly Joan looked at God. She covered her mouth momentarily.

"Did you send that man a letter to kill people?" She asked, appalled. God almost laughed at this.

"No, Joan. I did not." She said. "Someone you know, however, may have." God said suspiciously. Before Joan could question further, she pulled the curtain separating them forward to conceal herself. Seconds later, Adam reentered the room. Joan stared at him as he crossed the room and sat on the edge of her bed. Tears had come streaming down her cheeks.

"Jane, what's wrong?" He asked, visibly worried. Joan sat up, wrapping her arms around him tightly and crying into his neck. "Whoa, hey, what's going on?" He asked holding onto her and rubbing her back. He rocked a little bit with her. "You're okay, you know. The doctor said so. And you're mom's flying out even though I told her you said she didn't have to."

"Adam…" Joan couldn't say anything but his name as sobs cut off her voice. Adam held her tighter.

"It's all right. I'm right here." He assured her. He was unaware of the impact this statement had as it passed through Joan's ears.

"Thank God…" Joan said literally, her shoulders still shaking as she tried to stop crying. It was then that Adam heard the TV volume go up; presumably the person behind the curtain had turned it up. He looked up and stared at the screen in shock. He looked at Joan after the report played again, then back at the TV and then back at Joan.

"That's…my work." He said, pointing to the TV. Joan nodded, fresh tears coming to her eyes again. Without needing an explanation, and not being able to take one anyway, Adam pulled Joan to him again, reinforcing his statement.

"We're all right." He said to her. "We're okay." He held onto her tightly. Joan sunk wearily into his embrace, hiccupping from the crying she'd done as she caught her breath.

* * *

At 8, Luke clocked out. Missy and Dina had left a half an hour before, both heading back top campus. Avery was working now. Luke and Grace said goodbye and left, arm in arm. Grace shivered and Luke pulled her to him, rubbing her arm in a feeble attempt to warm her up.

"What do you want to do?" His mind was still on his sister. So was Grace's.

"There's and alien movie marathon at Brattle's Theater?" Grace suggested. She knew Luke loved alien movies. She figured it would get his mind and hers off the subject of Joan and peanuts. Luke thought about this for a moment and then nodded.

"Yeah that sounds good, if you want to?" He questioned. Grace nodded. She wrapped both of her arms around his waist, putting her head down as they stopped at the corner and waited for the bus.

When they got to the theater they were just in time for the beginning of the original 'Alien' movie. They stood in line and bought a small bucket of popcorn, some M&M's and a soda that was way too large for the two of them. Once inside the theater they found and empty row halfway down and made their way to the center. There were about 40 people spread out around the theater. Luke moved two seats' armrests up and sat down, leaning mostly sideway against his own arm rest after putting the soda in it. Grace sat herself down sideways leaning against him and stretching her legs out as Luke stretched his legs up to the armrest of the seat in front of them and laced her arm around Grace's shoulders. They both dug into the popcorn as they watched the beginning of the movie.

About twenty minutes in, Luke noticed Grace was staring in the dark theater towards the front couple of rows on the right side as she munched on some popcorn.

"What are you looking at?" He whispered next to her ear. Grace didn't look away from the spot.

"I think…Sweet Lou's over there." She pointed her finger. Luke followed her line of sight and spotted Sweet Lou with a girl who was giggling and looked almost as tall as Sweet Lou sitting down. Luke squinted.

"Who's he with?" Luke said quietly. Grace sounded almost like she was laughing.

"Look closer and see if you see who I see…" She said, a hint of astonishment in her voice.

"Is that…"

"Glynis?" Grace supplied. "I think it is," She nodded.

"Should we like…go over there and say hi?" Luke wondered. Grace playfully hit his chest with her hand.

"No, they're on a date." She said. Luke snickered.

"That's so absurd. It's probably not her." He said. Luke saw the woman stand up and head for the back of the theater. Shedding her jacket, which she was using as a blanket in the cold theater, Grace stood.

"I'm going in!" She said before following the woman at a distance. As Grace suspected, she headed right for the bathroom. Grace counted to 20 and then went in. She pretended to wash her hands as the toilet flushed and Glynis opened the stall and stepped out. She stopped in her tracks.

"Grace?" Glynis asked. Grace looked up and saw it was indeed Glynis in the mirror and grinned, turning the water off and drying her hands on a paper towel.

"Glynis?" She replied. "I thought that was you in there." She looked Glynis over as

Glynis looked Grace over. Grace noted that Glynis was indeed wearing the contacts she'd gotten in High School but hardly wore. Her hair, instead of being pin straight was wavy and curly and hung below her shoulders. She was dressed completely different then the Glynis that Grace remembered from just a few months ago. She still spoke in choppy, short sentences though. She was wearing hipster jeans and a three-quarter lengths sleeved shirt that rose up to reveal part of her stomach. Grace saw something sticking out of the left hip side of her jeans.

"Dude, you got a tattoo?" She asked, shocked. Glynis blushed.

"Oh! Yes...haha, I did!" She said excitedly. She reached up and peeled the top of her jeans down just a little bit to reveal the tattoo of an atom. Its rings stretched out so the circular size of the tattoo was about that of a half dollar. The nucleus was navy blue, each of the five rings surrounding it were a different color, blue, yellow, red, green and orange. The dots of electrons on each ring were the color of their ring. Grace stared at it for a moment before finally announcing her approval of it. "I did not peg you as one to get ink done."

"Oh! I know!" Glynis laughed again. "And boy it hurt." She added. "Is Luke here with you?" Glynis knew the answer to this. Grace nodded as they walked slowly towards the theater again after Glynis had washed her hands.

"Yeah he got off work at 8 and we came here." Grace told Glynis. Glynis nodded. "I only figured out it was you sitting there because I heard Sweet Lou and I was trying to figure out who he was with." Grace smiled.

"Oh, you know Louis?" Glynis asked eagerly. Grace started a second at the full use of Sweet Lou's name. Grace nodded.

"He's Luke's roommate." Grace said. Glynis stared at her.

"He didn't mention that." Glynis said, perplexed.

"That could be because he had no way of knowing you two might know each other?" Grace suggested. Glynis shrugged, appeased at this as they came to the theater doors. She shrugged.

"Well, we should get back in." Glynis grinned. "It was good to see you Grace!" Glynis laughed slightly again and hugged Grace before turning and going into the theater again. Grace was stunned for a moment. She collected her wits and went back to her seat, leaning against Luke, who promptly covered her with her jacket again.

"It's been such a weird day…" She commented.

"I think the early morning from about 2 am-ish on was quite wonderful actually." Luke stated. Grace offered him a sideways grin.

"You do, do you?" She asked. Luke nodded and found that their lips were drawn to each other for a short but well deserving kiss. "I think I second you opinion." She nodded before putting her head back down to watch the movie. "Glynis has a tattoo." She stated. Luke almost choked on the soda as he put it back down, coughing from the liquid going down the wrong tube. Grace laughed slightly.

"Are you serious?" He asked Grace. Grace nodded, laughing again.

"It's a tattoo of an atom." She almost giggled. Luke laughed at this. The couple two rose back from them hissed a 'shhhh' at them and they laughed quieter before settling in for the rest of the movie.

**

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A/N: P.S. IF YOU LOVE ME GO READ "Unexpected" and Let Tiffany know what you think of it damnit! The title of the chapter is from Keith Urban "You Look Good In My Shirt." What'd you think of my shockers in this one, eh? What improvements can I make? And finally, did I start to suck or do I still have it?**


	5. Baby There Ain't Nothing We Can't Do

**Holds Me Together**

**Rating:** T-M Just in case

**Disclaimer:** At this point do I really need to write more then 'disclaimer' for you to know that I own only the new unheard of characters?

**Reviews: Undyingslayer – **Thanks for checking back in, good to see I'm still progressing in the "rock" category and not the "suck" category! ) **Sam – **Now that's dedication! Dead tired and you still reviewed! Impressive! I agree on the shirt deal. I'm sorry but did anyone else pick up that her name was Missy McMyles…say it out loud, it's a funny name! Everybody needs a JBs! I plead the 5th on the Ryan issue. Guess that means you just have to keep reading? On The Glynis Factor as I like to call it, I like to spice things up, so I figured using her might be a good way too. I thought her tattoo was appropriate…I mean come on! An atom! What would you do if you saw someone with a tattoed atom sticking out of the top of their jeans? I also plead the 5th on any possible break ups/new pairings, if any. That's for the dead tired review, it's a beautiful thing! **Audrey – **Thank you! I hoped everyone thought the tattoo was funny! P.S. number 1, loved your update for anarchy, it rocked! Number 2, I feel the need to tell you every time I see your name in the review box I think of Audrey Hepburn and then I think of Breakfast At Tiffany's and then I think "It'll take you exactly 4 seconds to cross from here to that door…I'll give you 2." And if anyone's never seen that movie then they didn't get that but anyway, just a fun little tidbit! **Tiffany – **Hey, I will advertise for you any day, so long as you don't pull the plug on the story! ) Loved your update! As I mentioned previously I totally plead the 5th on any possible break ups/new pairings! P.S. where's your road trip to? Tell me about it in your next review, dude! **Kool-Wolf – **What up hater? ) You've been gone, eh? Where too? P.S. What if I hate you too? Huh? What are you gonna do then punk! (Good to see you back, ha!) **KJFlygirl87 – **Hey! I love that song too…I was planning to use it as soon as I wrote the last half of the chapter before, lol. I thought people would like the new and improved but still the same Glynis, think I did well? Sorry for the grammar mistakes, it's hard to pick up mistakes when you're reading your own work sometimes, and I suck so. I was hoping the peanuts and the art gallery thing weren't too over the top. Thank you!

**A/N** Phew! That was a lot again! So exciting to hear from everyone! I LOVE YOU GUYS! Okay. Ahem. Sorry for the piss poor proofreading as always. Sorry! Read on with yo bad self, now!

**

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Chapter 5 – Baby There Ain't Nothing We Can't Do**

Grace was vaguely aware that it was October and not July or August as it felt like outside. The sun had just finished completely setting, so the darkness hadn't quite encompassed the beach she was on yet. It was somewhere in the 70s temperature wise, but cool and breezy still. Grace looked around her. No one was in sight on the beach and when she looked towards the houses not a single light was on anywhere. She hugged herself with her arms as she walked a little ways to where the water lapped at her feet.

As she stood on the shore taking in the view around her, Grace felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. What was she doing here? The last thing she remembered was walking back to the dorm from the movie theater and falling asleep while She, Luke and Missy all studied different subjects, sprawled out on the floor with junk food and coffee. The loud crashing sound of splashing broke Grace from her trance as laughing came along with it. Squinting, she saw a figure out maybe waist deep in the water, falling into waves, laughing and splashing.

"Luke?" She called out, taking a few steps closer despite the fact that her jeans were now soaked halfway up her shins. The further out that she stepped, the bigger the goose bumps on her cool skin became, rising above the surface. Her heart pounded a little harder. The figure stopped and looked at her, grinning broadly.

"Grace! Hey! Grace, come on! It's great out here! Come on!" Luke called back to her before diving backwards into a wave. Grace was confused. Luke hated the ocean. She waded out towards him, slowly.

When she reached him, he stopped diving and smiled at her, just standing close to her, not talking. Grace looked at him, confused, hugging her arms about herself now as she shivered, her lips shaking. The hair on her neck and arms was standing straight up. Something wasn't right here.

"What are we doing out here?" She asked him. Luke just kept grinning. She looked at him more closely. His eyes weren't the right color. Grace rubbed her eyes and looked again. Luke's hair was different too. His head was almost completely shaved. And his smile seemed insincere now. It faded as she watched him, her brain feeling foggy and heavy. A cold and almost sinister look over came his face.

"Luke?" Grace asked quietly. She shook her head with her eyes closed, feeling like she was hallucinating. When she opened her eyes, Luke wasn't standing in front of her. Ryan Hunter was.

Her eyes widened into saucers and she made a move to back away but it was too late. By the time her feet had unfrozen, Hunter's hands were clasped around her neck. The next thing Grace felt was the rush of water as he thrust down, knocking her over and submerging her into the ocean as a wave hurtled against them. Screaming out of shock as she went under, water rushed inside of her mouth and throat as well as her nose, and she struggled to push it out. Grace kicked and flung her arms wildly, hitting Ryan and trying to tug his hands away from her neck but they had a firm grasp. He pulled her above the water and she gasped, trying to flop away from him like a fish out of water.

"I didn't get you the first time, but I won't let you get away this time." He sneered as she gasped and coughed out water. He dipped her under again and she continued to fight. Soon her chest hurt from holding the gulp of air she'd taken in and it expelled in the form of bubbles as another wave passed. She cried out as he pulled her above the surface again only to plunge her back down into the darkness. Everything in Grace screamed for her to fight to get away. And then he pulled her up again. She sputtered, gasping and coughing, choking.

"Why-," She forced out, sputtering still. Ryan laughed.

"Why?" He laughed heartily. "Why? You want to know why?" He screamed at her, enraged. Grace nodded, still trying to swing at him, "Well, you can't always get what you want." He sneered again and thrust her back underwater as she continued to kick and flail.

* * *

"Hey mom…" Joan said quietly, clearing her throat. She didn't know what time in the morning it was, but it was early. Helen was asleep in the chair next to Joan's bed. Adam had gone home last night at Joan's request. She would have sent her mother with him, but Adam had stayed until Joan fell asleep, shortly before Helene arrived. Helen insisted, as Joan did, that Adam go home. Reluctantly he had. Joan reached up and absently rubbed her eye as Helen came to and sat up straight, slowly remembering what had happened.

"I told you I was all right…" Joan said when Helen looked at her. "You didn't have to fly out here."

Helen stood up and leaned over Joan, hugging her tightly. "You know that I was not going to stay home after what Adam called and told me." She said. Joan closed her eyes and let her mother hug her. In all honesty she was relieved to have her mom there, despite the guilt she felt that her mother had to fly out, so late at night and suffer through jet lag for two days just because Joan had to go and eat a bite of her donut. Helen sat back, tiredly.

"I'm sorry you had to fly out here." Joan averted her eyes. Helen waved her hand.

"It's all right Joan." She said. Then she eyed Joan suspiciously. "How did you let this happen? You know what happens when you ingest anything peanut related."

"I know…believe me I know…" Joan could think of 6 times since they'd been out at restaurants in the area and she'd wanted an oriental dish but had to deny herself the pleasure due to a peanut sauce on the dish, or something of the like. She shrugged and explained the story of how Brandon's roommate had offered her coffee and some food at the coffee shop in exchange for giving him an employee discount on his books and how she'd ordered the donut and he'd retrieved it. She'd never seen the sign reading "All of our fried foods are cooked in peanut oil," in red letters.

"You don't like donuts." Helen told her. Joan shrugged.

"I was up for trying new things?" She explained weakly. Helen sighed, resting her chin in her hand and shaking her head at her daughter.

"I hope you've learned your lesson?" Helen asked. Joan nodded vigorously.

"Oh, God yes." She said, almost wincing as she realized she'd yet again taken God's name in vain. She wondered if she could ask God next time God showed up for a permanent absolution in regards to the taking the Lord's name in vain bit. "So," Joan changed the subject. "Did you bring me pictures of my nephew or what?" Joan had been dying to ask this since she'd opened her eyes and saw her mother sleeping there. A huge smile broke across Helen's face and she reached down into the duffle bag that was next to the chair and pulled out a small photo album.

"I put them in here on the plane ride to keep myself busy." She handed it over to Joan who eagerly snatched it out of her mother's hands and flipped it open. Promptly, Joan's face caved and her eyes almost welled.

"Awwww…" She erupted emotionally, covering her mouth at the sheer site of the little baby. There were pictures of Kevin and Lily with Caleb, pictures of Will and Caleb, Helen and Caleb, along with some of Kevin and Lily's friends and Caleb. Some of the pictures were just of Caleb. These were Joan's favorites. "Look at his little fingers! And his nose!" She gushed. Helen laughed at her, understanding now what Kevin had witnessed when Helen had first walked in to see Lily holding her grandchild. "Hey, don't laugh at me! This is all I get until Christmas break…" Joan warned, laughing at herself.

* * *

"Grace? Hey, wake up." Missy jumped from her bunk and landed next to Grace's bunk. She leaned over and took Grace's shoulder in her hand. "Grace, wake up!" She repeated. Grace's face was covered in tears and she sounded like she was gagging as she murmured and almost whimpered. Missy shook her harder. Grace sat up hastily, her eyes bursting open, wide and dilated, heaving for air. Missy kept a hold of Grace's shoulders, despite the fact that Grace had almost swung at her. Grace's hairline was matted in sweat. Her face was cold and clammy from sweat and tears and the collar of her shirt had a ring of sweat on it. She looked around wildly, unable to figure out how she'd gotten to the dorm room. Missy sat down on the edge of the bed, facing Grace.

"Hey, Grace, it's all right. You were just having a nightmare," Missy explained as Grace's face turned to her and her eyes focused as she tried to get a grasp on what Missy was saying to her. She reached up and angrily wiped at her face to get it dry. She covered her face with both of her hands and took a deep breath. Missy, Grace noted, was very much like Joan and even Mrs. Girardi when trying to comfort someone. Missy ran her hand up and down Grace's shoulder. "Must've been a pretty realistic one, hey?"

Grace could only muster a nod as she let her arms flop down on her knees, which were now crossed Indian style under her. Missy nodded. "I've had some of those before." She grinned. "Mine's usually about Dex, my brother that's in the rodeo. He gets trampled by a bull only it's not a real bull, it's a mechanical bull and after it tramples him, it comes after me. But it only happens if I eat pickles before bed." Missy explained this absently, looking off into space for a moment. "Anyway. Want to talk about yours?"

Grace shook her head quickly. She looked around and cleared her throat. "Where's Luke?" she asked, looking for the clock. It wasn't time for class yet.

"Oh! He went to pick up some breakfast." Missy smiled. "He's a really nice guy," she continued. "You've got a good catch on that one."

Grace couldn't help the little inkling of a smile that crossed her face at the mention of Luke. Missy was still watching her, concerned. "I'm okay." Grace said. "It was just a dream." Grace sounded like she wanted to convince herself of this more than anyone else.

"Okay." Missy nodded and got off Grace's bed. "Since you're up now, do you mind if I put the news on? I didn't want to turn anything on that would wake you up earlier." She said sweetly.

"Go for it," Grace said, astounded that someone who barely knew her would be so considerate. "And don't worry about it in the future, I can sleep through the TV turning on." She assured. Missy smiled sheepishly. She turned on the TV to CNBC.

"Looking at California now we go to Cherrie Lind as our local correspondent. Cherrie thanks for joining us." The man on the screen said.

"Thanks for having me, Bob." Cherrie smiled brightly. Grace rolled her eyes.

"Can you bring us up to speed on the situation out there?" Bob replied, sounding just as fake as Cherrie.

"Sure, Bob. Police have in custody Richard Foster, the delivery man who walked into Euro Art Gallery yesterday, here in Palo Alto, California, with a shotgun, flare gun and some gasoline. He killed three, and set the building on fire. Other employees escaped with minor injuries and are being treated at the Stanford University Hospital." Cherrie explained.

"Turn that up." Grace said. Missy looked over at her. Grace was staring at the screen, bewildered. The color had drained out of her face. Missy promptly turned the volume up loudly.

"And am I right in hearing that Foster claims 'God' told him to do this?" Bob asked. Grace's eyes widened further, if that were possible.

"Well, not exactly Bob. Foster claims that over the past two weeks he's received 8 letters with no return address, addressed to Foster signed," Cherrie looked down at her notepad. "Bless you my dearest child on your mission, love God."

"Do we have any leads as to where these letters have come from, Cherrie?" Bob asked. Missy looked at Grace, who had covered her mouth with her hand in shock. Missy noticed Grace's eyes misting over.

"No specifics yet Bob. I am told that the police are hot on the trail of the letters, whose postmark has led them to the East coast in search of the culprit, though they haven't told us any details of where specifically on the East coast they could be going." Cherrie explained on the split screen of the TV. Bob nodded and their conversation continued but Grace couldn't hear most of it. Because her mind was still fogged and heavy from her nightmare, it didn't click in Grace's head that she'd talked to Adam the night before. Of course, the fact that they didn't issue a time frame in the news report didn't help matters either. Grace felt paralyzed.

Missy was about to sit next to her again and ask what was wrong when Luke opened the unlocked door and walked in carrying takeout containers from JB's.

"Good morning." He smiled as he set the containers and the coffee down. Then he noticed Missy's expression and turned to Grace. Grace was staring at the TV screen where they were showing footage of Richard Foster being arrested and of the burning art gallery. "What's wrong?" He crossed the room in two strides and sat next to Grace, putting his hand on her back. Grace pointed to the TV as they were doing a recap. Luke looked at the TV and listened.

Before the report finished Grace was searching for her cell phone. Luke grabbed her shoulder.

"Grace-,"

"Give me your phone." She demanded. Luke didn't move to reach for his phone. Instead he took her by her upper arms.

"Grace." He said sternly compared to his normal tone. "Adam called yesterday…remember? He's at the hospital with Joan. Even if you call his cell phone, he won't answer because you can't have a cell phone on in a hospital." He reasoned with her. Grace exhaled, her shoulders slumping in relief as she realized what he was telling her.

"You're not having a good start to your day, Grace." Missy said. Luke looked at her to see what she meant. "I woke her up from this wicked nightmare she was having, like fifteen minutes ago." She explained. "And then I just turned the news on and after the report you walked in, you know the rest."

Luke nodded and turned back to Grace, who was sitting there with her face in her hands. Something wasn't right. She couldn't put her finger on it but something just wasn't right. Her head felt like it was going to explode as she leaned forward and took a few deep breaths. Luke rested his hand on her back.

"Hey, it's all right. Everybody's okay." He assured her. Grace nodded, mostly to appease Luke. "Look, JB sent over something special for you even though Izzy said it was a horrible thing to give someone for breakfast." He grinned, holding a white Styrofoam container towards Grace. He opened it with a smile and held out a plastic fork knowingly. Grace saw the container's contents and yanked the fork form his hand, digging in.

* * *

By the time Luke's Advanced Chemistry class rolled around, his head was pounding and he wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep for the rest of the day. He slumped onto his stool, glad that this was his last class. He dreaded this class though he excelled at it. He was the only freshman in the class, having passed out of other chemistry classes prior to attending the school. Most of the students in the class were seniors except for three juniors who had well earned a spot there. Mostly all of the students in the class felt Luke did not deserve to be in their presence this early in the game, and so had not talked to him and only offered glares and stern looks when the teacher Dr. Ivy Farina, who had spent all of the end of August and nearly all September agreeing with her students that Luke should not yet be in her class, would throw questions at him and he would get them right quickly without stumbling for the answer.

"Mr. Girardi," Dr. Farina broke Luke out of his trance, startling him. Every head in the classroom turned towards him as Dr. Farina's British accented voice rang out through the class. Luke almost fell off his chair.

"Oh…I'm sorry Doctor." He cleared his throat and straightened himself to attention.

"Are we going to be able to trust you today, Mr. Girardi, since it is after all a lab day, that you are able to keep a steady mind so we do not sustain any injuries in my classroom?" The young teacher asked. Dr. Ivy Farina had completed school at the age of 15 and had gone to university and finished her doctorate in both Biological engineering and Chemical engineering by the time she was 22. Now, at the age of 31 she was the youngest professor at MIT with a double doctorate and the head of the Chemical engineering department. She was also one of the only female professors on campus to merit young male fantasies with her tanned skin, curvaceous body, and her long flowing blonde hair that had natural sandy highlights flowing through it. On most days she kept it down, styled out in such a way that all the girls in the class couldn't figure out how she always kept it so perfect like at any moment a director was to call 'action!' and she'd be off quoting her lines like a seasoned professional. On lab days, however she kept her hair up in a messy bun in order to keep the hair from cascading into any chemicals lest she mar herself for life because of a hairdo.

Now, even though Dr. Farina was a fan of Luke, she still eyed him suspiciously.

"Very well. Let's move on then shall we?" She asked. Luke nodded. "Very good. We're doing lab number 8 today…" Dr. Farina's words faded in Luke's ear and he prepared to do the lab, already prepared to do it, and needing no further instructions. He sighed.

Halfway through the lab, Dr. Farina waited until the class was occupied and walked over to Luke.

"I would like to see you after class." She said. Luke nodded, and she walked away.

* * *

Having study group sessions scheduled for Mondays, Grace didn't get to JB's until nearly 9:30pm. Thankfully she'd had an hour and a half wait between work and when the study group met. She'd managed to get everything that needed to be done on Tuesday, completed and was therefore more relaxed about going to JB's. She hadn't been able to eat all day however. Every time she'd started drifting into a daydream, she'd flashed back to her nightmare and gotten chills. As she entered the diner her stomach lurched and she felt almost queasy.

"Hey Grace!" Avery greeted her as she turned right and went for the empty booth. Grace offered Avery a smile.

"Hey Avi, how are you?" She asked as Avery bussed the booth next to Grace and Luke's booth. Grace set her bag and her jacket down in the booth, but stayed standing to talk to Avery.

"Oh you know, same old same old." Avery offered a chuckle. Grace nodded.

"Yeah, that tends to happen sometimes." Grace looked at her. She found Avery was staring at JB Jr., who'd just clocked out to go and finish his homework and was now heading out towards the front door.

"Goodnight ladies." He winked and left. JB Jr. was a very charming young man. His dark brown hair was like his father's and his piercing eyes could read almost anyone like a book. He had a half grin that let you know he was ten steps ahead of you at any given moment. He liked to give bear hugs and seemed to be empathic to the point that if you were having a bad day, you got a bear hug until you smiled or laughed. He had played soccer and baseball in high school and felt that athletes should always be in shape, and so he was toned and muscular but he had also believed that you should retain a neck, and so he was also still a slender man. He usually looked good in anything he wore, including greasy white t-shirts and aprons. Avery nearly swooned as he left. Grace chuckled at her and Avery blushed.

"It would be easier just to tell him, Av," She commented, sitting down in the booth. She hadn't seen Luke so she couldn't lean over the counter to greet him. She suspected he was in the back getting napkins or something to stock up.

"I can't," Avery blushed again, wiping the table clean.

"Why not?" Grace questioned. Avery shrugged.

"Girls can't just go up to people and be like 'I like you, let's go out,'" Avery said, rolling her eyes.

"Yes they can." Grace argued, giving Avery a strange look. Avery was not usually the kind of person to be timid like this. Avery shook her head.

"Okay, but I can't." Avery hoisted the heavy rubber bus bucket up and headed for the back. Grace shook her head and watched her go. As Avery reached the back kitchen, JB Jr. came back in.

"Back so soon, Junior?" Grace asked, raising an eyebrow. JB Jr. was always being called Junior. It was easier then addressing him and his father as JB Sr. and Jr. every time they were both working in the restaurant at one time.

"I forgot my books." He nodded. Grace knew could tell he was lying. And she knew why. She smiled. "What?" Junior asked.

"You know she's nuts about you," Grace said. She put her hands up in the air innocently. "That's all I'm gonna say…" she smiled as Junior grinned broadly and headed directly for Avery. Grace closed her eyes, rubbing the back of her neck.

"You didn't say hi to me,"

"OH!" Grace started, opening her eyes to see Luke sitting across from her. She put her hand over her heart and swatted at Luke's arm. "Don't do that to me!" She said, visibly startled.

"Sorry…" Luke bent his head down.

"What's up with you?" Grace eyed him suspiciously.

"Farina ripped me a new one after class today." He sighed, putting his head down on his forearms.

"About what?" Grace reached out and ran her hand through his hair in an effort to comfort him. He sighed.

"I didn't get much sleep last night. I zoned out in class. It was lab day." He frowned as he picked his head up.

"Well…I can see how she would sternly talk to you, not rip you a new one for that though," Grace reasoned. Luke nodded and shrugged. "Maybe you should relax and get some sleep tonight?" Luke nodded again to this.

"What was your nightmare about?" He changed the subject. Grace tensed up. Closing her eyes and inhaling. She recounted the dream to him calmly. Luke nodded as he listened, reaching out to put his hand over hers. After she finished telling the story she glanced at him and then stared at their hands. "He's never going to get near us again, Grace. I won't let him hurt you," Luke said to her. Grace nodded. Luke leaned over and kissed her. After a few more minutes of talking he heard Grace's stomach. "Let's get some food, okay?" Grace readily agreed to this.

* * *

"Hey," Joan said as Adam walked into her room with a flower pot full of daffodils. Joan smiled as he put it on the table next to her bed.

"Hey, Jane…" He leaned down and kissed her. "Where's your mom?" He asked, looking around the room.

"She went to call daddy, and Kevin and Lily." Joan nodded as Adam sat on the edge of the bed, facing her. He smiled.

"I saw the pictures she brought," He said to her. "She showed them to me when she showed up last night." He explained. Joan nodded.

"Mom said Kevin told her to inform us that, as a long term friend to the family and seeing as how we're always together, even if we aren't married yet, you are to be called Uncle Adam at all times for Caleb's sake." Joan smiled. Adam's smile grew.

"Really?" He asked hopefully. Joan nodded. Adam leaned in and kissed Joan. When he pulled away, his face became more serious. "I need to talk to you about something important." Adam glanced around the room. The woman that he worked with that had been in Joan's room had been discharged earlier that morning. Seeing that they were in private, he looked directly at her.

"What's wrong?" Joan asked.

"Have you been watching the news coverage?" Adam questioned. Joan nodded.

"Mom's freaked out. She said it was a miracle that they called you away because of me." Joan snorted, catching the humor in this. "My mom said it was a miracle that I almost died." She laughed. Adam saw the humor in this but the idea of Jane, his Jane, dying spooked him, Joan seemed to sense this. She put her hand on his forearm. "I'm sorry." She said to him. Adam shook his head.

"I would be dead by now if it wasn't for that." This idea freaked him out even more. Before Joan could comment, Adam spoke up again. "Were you told to do this?" He asked. Joan bit her lip. She didn't know what his reaction would be to this. Slowly she nodded.

"Well, not exactly." She coughed and cleared her throat. "I was told to go for coffee and a donut at my break." She said and then she explained about Brandon's roommate and told him the whole story, including the part about the woman that Adam worked with being in the bed next to Joan as God. Adam sat still, stunned. His eyes misted over.

"I shouldn't be here." He said slowly.

"Adam, no, you're supposed to be here. Why else would God have set the plan in motion to keep you here?" Joan replied. He shook his head.

"But I don't deserve it," He looked down, a few tears falling. "Not after what I did to you…"

"Adam…"

"No, Jane, it's true." Adam interrupted her. Joan looked at him. "You just want to keep pretending like it didn't happened and it was all in the past but it did happen and I don't understand how you could ever love me again…" Adam was shaking at this point. Joan sat up, taking Adam's face in her hands.

"Adam, I love you." She said, staring at him. "Don't you understand that by now? I have since the beginning. And you have too. I know you have. You always have." She smiled, her eyes spilling over as she told him this. "People make mistakes. Lots of mistakes. Some of them are big, some of them are tiny. But they're all mistakes. And when you love someone you accept them, even with their mistakes, Adam." She sniffled, searching his eyes. "I know you. And it was hard to trust you again, believe me, just like it was hard for you to trust me…but I do. I know you learned from your mistake, Adam." She said, wiping at his tears. "I want us to work together, like we have been. We're supposed to be building this love and fighting tooth and nail for it together, against the world. Don't you think we can do that? Don't you think, I don't know that there's no problem too big that we can't fix together? There's no mountain we can't climb or any of that metaphorical stuff? Don't we deserve a second shot at surviving for this? For our love? Isn't that the most important thing, Adam? That we love each other?"

Adam nodded. "I just…" He frowned still. "I love you, Jane. When you love someone, you don't do what I did."

"Mistakes, Adam." She shook her head. "They're in the past. They're only useless and a waste when we don't learn from them…and you learned from yours. All the tears we spent on each other Adam, have washed us up here on the shore and we have to pick up and move on. That's why I tell you that those things are in the past. If we don't look forward and we just keep looking backwards, we're never going to see where we're going and we'll crash…" She continued. Adam nodded slightly.

"I'm sorry…I just…thinking…and after yesterday…" He sighed. Joan pulled his face to hers and kissed him deeply before she hugged him tightly.

"I love you." She told him.

"I love you too, Jane." He replied, holding her back just as tightly.

* * *

"Hey, I came over here to put some crappy night time cartoons on Adult Swim on, and lay here with you so you could sleep, brain. Stop studying. You already know all of that," Grace ordered. Luke looked at her. She was lying on his bed, in her pajamas, curled under his blanket and still looking cold. Sweet Lou was passed out in his bunk up top, lightly snoring. Luke sighed. Grace lifted the blanket up and held her arms out. "And besides I'm cold, and I had a nightmare last night, get in here and make me feel better too," She tried again. Finally Luke gave in. He brought over his sweatshirt for her after he disrobed into his boxer briefs. Grace couldn't help watching him as he undressed and walked over to her. She smiled slightly and sat up to put the sweatshirt on, having been dumb enough only to leave a tank top and shorts as pajamas at his place. Luke climbed around her under the covers and laid back on his side so he was leaning against the wall for more support.

After she wiggled into the oversized MIT sweatshirt, she laid back, nestling herself back against his chest. Luke sighed, contentedly as they lay watching the TV across the room which was tuned to cartoon network for Adult Swim. Grace rested her head back against his chest and the pillow. Luke leaned in and kissed the back of her head. His arms were circled around her and she could feel his body pressed against her. She let her feet tangle in comfortably with his and her arms placed themselves along his as they came together at her stomach and she entwined her hands among his. She turned her head and kissed his cheek, just reaching it from their interlocking positions.

"Relax, brain…everything's gonna be all right," She assured him.

"Is that so?" Luke asked her as she turned back around, nuzzling into him again. He felt her nod her head. "How do you know?" He asked her. They were whispering so they didn't wake Sweet Lou as Family Guy played in the background.

"Because, goofball," she let her elbow hit his arm lightly. "I love you." Luke smiled to himself and tightened his arms around her. He was surprised and excited by Grace's new freedom with this phrase. Neither of them felt that it was being thrown back and forth too much at each other, but rather, they both chose to use it at a time when they felt the other needed to hear it the most. He sighed quietly and kissed the back of her head again, squeezing her hands in his.

"I know…I love you too." He told her.

"I know…" Grace smiled, feeling herself drifting off. She fought to stay awake and managed to until Luke's breathing regulated itself and she knew he was asleep. Feeling his breathing and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat so close sent Grace into a peaceful slumber soon afterwards.

**

* * *

A/N: Chapter title from "City of ****Love****" by Martina McBride (one of my heroes!). Sorry for the grammar mistakes we all know I suck at proofreading! What else do I suck at in this chapter? Where do YOU think I should take this story? What improvements can be made, aside from my crappy grammar typos? P.S. – I'm thinking that this story is going to run somewhere between 15-20 chapters, which means a lot of long windedness from me and some good, bad, happy and sad moments to come! Stick with me here people! (P.S. – go read as many JoA fics as you can in two hours and review every single one of them because I said so!) **


	6. And I'll Be Brave

**Holds Me Together  
Rating:** T-M Just in case  
**Disclaimer:** At this point do I really need to write more then 'disclaimer' for you to know that I own only the new unheard of characters?  
**Reviews: Sam – **A-L-L day you waited for that? Sorry for the wait…my brother and his GF have been down for the holiday, and his room is the room the computer's in, so I haven't gotten much time in here! You're welcome on the essay front, good luck on writing about revisionists. My advice is to go to wikipedia dot org. I love that site…It's sick but I seriously go on there and find random things to read about, which explains lots of my random trivia knowledge. Anyway! Let me know how the essay goes! The Glynis Factor will be slowly added in throughout the upcoming chapters, so look for it! A lot of people liked the nightmare, I was surprised. I thought it was going to be hated. ) Joan's comment was because it's illogical (at least to me) to fly from California to Maryland for Thanksgiving break because it's so short, right? I wanted Missy to be unexpected for Grace, so I hope she's coming off that way. Luke's perfect…a little too perfect…I might have to change that…who knows? Yeah, about the jr/sr class, I figured, Luke's a genius, let's roll with that. Dr. Farina is pretty fierce, huh? Yes…a girl can totally ask a guy out. Poor Avery, however is a sissy in that area, lol. (I agree with you about running a hand through Luke's hair…) About them sleeping together at night, I mean hey! They're in close proximity, they might as well! I LOVE the oversized sweatshirt…it always smells good. Good luck with the essay! **Audrey – **Sorry to make you sweat for the beginning of the chapter with the nightmare! That's what you were supposed to do though! You don't HAVE to read and review JoA fics for 2 hours, just review everyone you read when you read them, ) Not that you don't anyway. Much love to ya for always reviewing me! **Michelle – **Hey! I'm going to respond to your reviews from Ch. 2-5 here okay? Thank you about the baby name! Caleb is one of my favorite names for a boy! How old is your nephew? Thanks for the props on the G/L "I love you" scene in Ch. 3! It was so tough to write without going full on smut! Wow dude, you really think I write the characters perfectly? I'm blushing at that compliment! Glynis/Sweet Lou pairing I think is going to turn out to be hilarious for everyone in the upcoming chapters. I've got a few interesting ideas for it. A/J's storyline is harder for me to write than G/L's, so it's always good to hear that someone thinks I'm doing it well! Thank you for the compliments and my long windedness shall continue for quite awhile so I hope you stick with it! It should be a nice roller coaster ride! **Laura – **I so wish I could pop over and visit relatives in like The Netherlands! That would be sweet! What's your minor, history? What's your major too actually, out of curiosity? I've never worked in a bookstore, but I know two people ( my bro. included) who have, and I've been working since I was 12, so I kind of figured it was like working at other stores, just with books instead! I want a Luke too, do you think we can order a couple of Luke's? Ah...the Ryan factor…who knows where it will lead though? Well, besides me that is! Ahh…well at least I know that _should_ G/L breakup (I'm pleading the 5th on that for now), and I get hurt, I'll know who hurt me! I will be elaborating more on the J/A back story on how they got together again and such. I'm waiting for a specific time, circa Thanksgiving-ish to work that in, for a reason. You'll see why. Don't worry the G/L goodness will continue…or, will it? Hmm…I'll do my best to give you a good fix my friend! P.S. – Thanks for the Happy 4th. And what can I say about the wrong day bit, we're American, for the most part we do things half-assed backwards, I never said I liked it that way! **Kool-Wolf – **I think it's a suiting love-hate relationship, dude. You're right, it's fitting. Does your sister hate it when you hang out there as much as you hate it? I'm thinking I was going to go in for the Christmas break re-uniting bit when I get to the December/January months, good call (even though I hate you dude!) True, Grace is Jewish but she still goes for winter break with everyone else! Because it makes you hate me even more that I'm reading your review and responding, I made your response extra long! Much hate to ya, (**punk)** P.S. – Since I hate you, I can call you whatever I want, can't I? **Tiffany – **Dude! There's totally a person who hates my story! Only instead of review, they're sending me e-mail! It's freaky! But like the thing is, they hate it but keep emailing me after every chapter! What is that? Don't thank me for the review! It's what I do, because you deserve it, yo! I'm glad you got a reader back! That's excellent! Hey! I've been to Ohio…for Cedar Point Amusement Park and the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame! Good stuff! And hey, vacation clothes, that's never boring dude, that's fun! I can't wait to read your good idea for your story dude! Don't leave me hanging like that! Thanks for the info about the typos and suspensions. It's ridiculous that that happened to you! And it did let you review on both days, just so you know. ) You'll have to keep reading to see where the story goes next! **sayxanything – **Heyyyy! How ya doing? I'm writing, I'm writing! I swear! **Jane and Adam – **How was your vacation? Where did you go? Give me details here! What a nice thing to find when you get back from a vacation, eh? I'm glad you're back! I was getting worried there for a second…! **Thlayli the Furhead – **Welcome to the reviewer response section, how the heck are ya? (Was reading your profile and had to say, you like some good stuff, chick.) Wow! Withdraw? Honestly…I was going into withdraw not being able to use the computer!  
**A/N**: Whoa, responding to my readers is getting almost as longwinded as my stories! I love it! I love you people! You make my day! P.S. Sorry if you don't review and you hate scrolling through my responses to get to the story, but I feel each review merits a response! Sorry for the proofreading as always. Sorry! Read on with yo bad self, now!

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* * *

Chapter 6 – And I'll Be Brave**

Since they'd been down at the beach working all summer, and had only been home 3 days before leaving for school, no one had taken Squiggy to get her new radio put in, The 7 hour drive back down to Arcadia for Thanksgiving break was peppered with country music. Strangely enough Grace and Luke both found themselves growing accustomed to it. Grace slouched in the passenger seat, leaning against the car door, leaning her chin and cheek on her right hand. Her left arm was crossed under her and her right elbow was resting on it. She stared blankly out the window of the car as they drove down the highway.

In the backseat, Missy lay sleeping among her jacket and her backpack. Grace had found out the night before that Missy wasn't able to go home for the break. Grace hated to admit it, but it did upset her to know that Missy would be alone for the holiday. Since Grace wasn't positive if she'd be staying at her own house or at the Girardi house, she'd called Luke up and asked him to see if it was okay to bring Missy with them and bunk her at Luke's house. Helen had listened to the story Luke gave her and agreed. Now Missy was asleep in the backseat, oblivious to Luke and Grace.

Luke glanced at Grace as he drove. She had seen his head turn to her out of the corner of her eye but hadn't turned to meet his eyes. She knew he was concerned about her, but she didn't much feel like talking about it. Luke turned back to the road. He sighed. Grace knew he was dying to ask her if she was going to be all right. She kept staring out the window. If she didn't let him have any hint that she, indeed, would have liked him to ask if she was all right, then he wouldn't. What could she say, old habits die hard. Blocking Luke out of her feelings about returning home was the only way she would be able to let herself do this.

Since they had left Arcadia for the summer, Grace had only been home to pick up her already packed things to move into college. She had gone home when both of her parents were gone. She hadn't seen her mother since the day her mother had grabbed her hard enough to leave a handprint shaped bruise on her arm. Grace winced at the memory.

_She had woken up around 4 am and gone to the kitchen to get something to eat. Her mother had been sitting at the table, a mostly empty bottle of vodka in front of her. She was just finishing off a glass. Grace had quickly grabbed a container of leftovers and a spoon, in hopes of making a quick getaway to her room. Sarah had other plans. She'd filled up her glass with the rest of the clear, toxic, liquid and finished it off in one gulp, laughing as Grace crossed to the utensil drawer and opened it. _

_"Eating again, I see?" Sarah had inquired. Whenever she was drunk she became critical of anything Grace did, ranging from breathing too loudly to eating all the time. Grace did her best to always ignore her mother's incessant nagging comments about her whenever Sarah was drunk. _

_"Yeah well, I was too busy holding your hair back to eat dinner tonight," Grace had snapped back at Sarah. She hadn't meant to say it, but she couldn't hold it back. Having gotten up and managed to cross to Grace, Sarah reached out a hand to Grace's shoulder and gripped her tightly, spinning her around. She held tightly to Grace's shoulder, pushing her back against the counter, shutting the utensil drawer in the process. Grace had closed her eyes tightly and stifled a groan of pain. _

_"Don't you sass me like that," Sarah had ordered. _

_"Mom…" Grace began. "Look, I'm sorry. Whatever." Grace tried to make her way out of her mother's grasp unsuccessfully. _

_"Just because you think you've got it all figured out doesn't mean that you are a better person than me," Sarah had said, holding her finger up to impact this statement. _

_"No. You're right." Grace had stared into her mother's eyes. "But seeing as how I have my wits about me whenever I'm awake and don't walk around in a vodka induced haze on the time when I know I have a problem, now that…that does make me better than you." She knew he mother wouldn't remember this in a few hours. She didn't care. The container of food fell from Grace's hands when the back of Sarah's hand came down across her cheek. She resisted the urge to put her own hand over top of her now stinging cheek as her face had turned sideways with the force of the slap her mother had just issued. She clenched her jaw closed to fend off the tears that now stung her eyes as she slowly turned her face back to her mother's. _

_"Now you clean that up." Sarah had ordered, pointing to the mess on the floor before walking away, leaning on things as she went through the house. Grace had just stood there, in horror at what had just transpired. The food was splattered on the floor, her bare feet, the bottoms of her pajama pants, and the edges of the cabinets by the floor. She had stood, frozen that way for at least twenty minutes before her body mechanically took over and she cleaned up the mess and headed for her room. She had showered, dressed, brushed her teeth and left her house by 5 am. She'd gone first to Luke's house, and had gotten to his window and looked in at him peacefully sleeping and then lost her nerve. So instead, she meandered around near the school until it was late enough for her to go in. She's approached Joan at Joan's locker and told Joan that she was out for the trip right as the bell had rung and then plowed past Luke. _

* * *

"Hey," Adam walked in through Joan's door, which was propped open by a wooden doorstop. Joan looked up from lying sideways on the couch with her legs sprawled out. She lifted her legs and let Adam sit down before she put her legs back down. Colby had left the night before to go home. Johana had left only an hour ago for Arizona. 

"Hey baby," Joan smiled as Adam leaned over her and kissed her. "Tristan leave?"

"Yeah. He's headed for Los Angeles as we speak." Adam nodded. Joan sighed.

"So we're on our own?" Joan asked. There was an inherent sadness in her voice that made Adam's heart leap. He frowned and nodded.

"It won't be so bad. And just think, in a couple weeks, we'll be on a plane heading back home." Adam leaned back on the couch, putting his head back and closing his eyes as he spoke, smiling. "We'll see your nephew-,"

"_Our_ nephew," Joan corrected him. Adam rolled his head towards her and smiled.

"Unchallenged…" He nodded. "Okay…we'll see _our_ nephew," He smiled to himself. "And your parents, and Grace and Luke…"

"And your dad," Joan said. Adam smiled again.

"My Dad," He agreed.

"I guess we should make the best of our alone time now, then, shouldn't we?" She wiggled her eyes brows up and down seductively. Adam nodded, leaning in to kiss her again, this time more passionately.

After a substantial amount of make out time, Joan broke away from Adam. "You know, I meant what I said before. About my first time," she continued, swallowing nervously. Adam looked at her, confused.

"This isn't the back of a truck," He said. Joan nodded, biting her lip.

"I know," She said.

* * *

"Hey, do you have to go to the bathroom or anything?" Luke asked, snapping Grace back to reality. She turned her head and looked at him, trying to stretch in the cramped car. She shook her head. 

"No…" Grace yawned and climbed out of the car to stretch further. Missy pushed the seat forward and climbed out.

"I do!" She smiled. Luke nodded.

"Where are we?" Grace asked.

"Just about Delaware." Luke told her. "What about food, are you hungry?"

Grace wasn't really hungry after thinking about her mom, but she hadn't eaten before they left so she nodded. "Surprise me…okay?"

"Are you sure?" Luke asked. "You don't want to come in or anything?" He had walked around the car and was facing her now.

Grace shook her head. "No, I'm gonna make a phone call," she told him. Luke seemed to accept this after a beat or two. He looked at her, clearly concerned, but leaned in and kissed her before turning to head for the building doors of the rest stop.

After stretching one more time, Grace climbed back into the car. She took out her cell phone and searched through the phonebook. She stopped on one in particular. It was labeled with one word. Typically kids put their parents under something like "Mom & Dad" or "Home." Grace had hers labeled as "Parentals." She still wasn't sure if she wanted to even stop at her house when she arrived home. She had only talked to her father since the summer, and that was only twice. Grace doubted they would even notice if their Thanksgiving dinner didn't include her. Hitting the exit button, Grace shoved the phone back into her pocket with a grunt.

Moments later the driver side door opened and Missy climbed into the back with a bag of food, and Luke pushed the seat back and climbed in his seat. He held out a soda to Grace, who took it thankfully. Luke turned the car back on so they had some background noise, even if it was country music.

"Did you make your phone call?" Luke asked as he took his burger out of the bag and then his fries before passing it to Grace who just nodded in response to his question.

"What'd you get me?" She asked, peeking into the bag. She spotted a couple of cheeseburgers but grabbed her order of fries out of the bag before rolling it shut again. "Thanks," She said to Luke. Luke nodded, his mouthful.

"Did I thank you two for letting me come with you for the holiday?" Missy piped up from the backseat. Luke and Grace both turned their heads.

"Yes!" They chorused.

"Like 50 times already." Luke said. Missy blushed.

"Just making sure," Missy smiled sheepishly.

Once Luke had finished eating, which didn't take long as he'd pretty much inhaled it, he began driving, letting the girls finish their food as he did. He continued to glance at Grace as he drove along the highway. Grace still stared out the window as she ate her food and drank her soda.

* * *

Joan lay tangled in her bunk with Adam. Both had drifted off an hour or two before, but now Joan had awoken from the nap and her mind was reeling with thoughts as she studied every part of Adam that wasn't covered by the blanket they were haphazardly under. 

Running her hand absently over his bare skin, Joan let her thoughts take over. Was her decision to give herself over to Adam completely the right one? It felt like it was, despite their past. Then again, would Adam still love her if she didn't live up in comparison to Bonnie? Joan shook this thought from her mind. It was pointless to do such things to herself, she knew. Besides, if she'd forgiven him his past transgressions, she couldn't very well let them run rampant in her head, could she? Joan knew she didn't want them to. With a slight sigh, Joan thought about the past year with Adam.

_Halloween and Thanksgiving had passed without too much turmoil. There was always the memory of Kevin's accident. He hadn't taken it too hard this year, on account of Lily. Because Luke had been feeling particularly ignored by Halloween, and rightly so among his family at least, Grace had taken to great lengths to throw him the mother of all surprise parties. _

Joan smiled, remembering the look on Luke's face when he'd realized that someone had cared enough to put themselves out for his birthday-that someone being Grace, in particular.

_Since his birthday had been on a Saturday, Friday night Grace had set up a long dinner with Luke for his birthday and afterwards had managed to keep him out of the Girardi house until midnight. Upon walking in the house and turning the lights on, he'd nearly fallen back out the door when the crowded foyer shouted 'surprise!' Luke had nearly cried he was so excited. _

_Of course the most eventful part of November had been when an anonymous package had shown up at the house for Will. At first, on the Sunday morning in Late November, Will had not touched the package. Instead, he'd come bursting into the kitchen yelling, ordering his family out the back door and around the house to the sidewalk before calling the station to get the bomb squad out. _

_After they'd discovered that the jumbled box that was raggedly taped shut, Will have opened the package to find it filled with VHS tapes, photographs, documents and answering machine tapes. Upon reviewing all of these materials, Will setup a warrant for the arrest of Ryan Hunter for fraud, vandalism, reckless endangerment, larceny, and arson. _

_All of Joan's problems would have been solved then and there, had it not been for a tiny loophole Ryan's lawyer had found which left Ryan a free man. Ryan had packed up and left Arcadia for the time being. He hadn't resurface until the summer._

_Of course, the biggest event of Joan's year had been Christmas. Starting on December 1st, Joan began receiving gifts. Though they weren't signed from anybody, Joan knew exactly whom they were from. The first day it was a painting. It was a small painting, the size of a regular photo. It was simple. A sky blue background with a few stray fluffy white clouds, and off center to the right of the frame was Joan, sitting on what looked like a cloud with her knees pulled up and wings flapping behind her. Instead of a halo, there was a brilliant golden glow radiating around her flowing hair. _

_For the next few weeks, every morning something new was hidden on the porch for her. Paintings, drawings, sketches, eventually even tiny metal sculptures. Among some of the paintings and sketches, in the background, Joan caught lines from some poems, song lyrics, and apologies, just dark enough to read. _

_Neither Joan nor Adam spoke about the gifts. During lunch periods he would catch her eye and they would share an awkward stare before someone would interrupt. Since the summer things had cooled down. Joan was bringing up Bonnie less and less as a trump card against Adam. Grace and Luke themselves had exchanged many glances upon finding Joan and Adam locked in a strange stare at each other. Grace would see the stares and glance at Luke, her eyebrows arched into the hair falling in her face. Luke would notice it too, and offer up a shrug. _

Joan watched Adam squirm in his sleep. He let out a sigh before his face burrowed into the pillow as if he was trying to scratch his eyebrow. She smiled slightly and moved her hand to lightly play with is dark hair.

_On the morning of December 25th, Joan had gotten downstairs last. Before joining her family in the kitchen for breakfast, she opened the door and stepped out on the porch, barefoot with a robe tied over her pajamas. Her feet jumped at the coldness of the porch and she hugged herself tightly as she hopped around the cold porch, searching for her prize. _

_"Joan?" Helen came to the door, pulling her robe tighter around her as she stood in the doorway, watching her daughter curiously. "What on Earth are you doing out here?" She rubbed her arms to warm them up. _

_"There's nothing here…" Joan frowned, turning her head still to look around. _

_"Of course there's nothing out here. It's Christmas, there's no mail today." Helen insisted, waving her head towards the kitchen. "Everything's in here." She said, smiling. Joan looked at her mom and then sighed. As she past Helen in the door she hugged her mom. _

_"Merry Christmas," Joan said, trying to sound happy. Helen kissed Joan's forehead. _

_"Merry Christmas, sweetheart." She smiled and gave Joan's back a rub and then a pat. "Come on, let's go get some breakfast, everyone's waiting." _

_Joan nodded and followed her mom, giving the porch one last glance before shutting the door behind her. _

_"Good morning family." Luke sat down next to Joan as everyone dug into their breakfasts. As Luke reached for some eggs, he used his other hand to place something in Joan's lap. _

_"What's this?" Joan asked him quietly amongst the loud table, studying the gift-wrapped box. _

_"A little bird asked me to deliver it." Luke said cryptically with a slight grin. Just then there was a knock at the front door. "I got it!" Luke leapt out of his chair and headed for the front door, leading everyone to believe that Grace was occupying the other side of the door. _

_"Uh…I'll be right back," Joan excused herself from the table. From there she went up to her room where she sat on her bed with the package in her lap. She stared at it for a long time. Downstairs she heard Luke excitedly greeting Grace, who promptly told him to hold his horses and lead her to the grub. Joan stared at the package. Finally, she reached down and slowly pulled the ribbon until it untied and she let it fall to the floor. Instead of tearing the paper and quickly getting to the prize, she gingerly undid the tape and slid the wrapping paper from the box. She was greeted with a wooden box, the size of an index card and about 3 inches deep. It was painted brilliantly with sky blue and clouds. It looked just like the first painting she'd gotten on the 1st, complete with an angelic version of herself on the top. _

_Upon opening it, she found a note. She pulled out the paper and opened it, reading it aloud to herself just above a whisper. "Dear Jane, we both know who's been leaving you the gifts, so let's skip over that. I want to get it right out in the open that I don't expect anything to come out of this. All of this has been to show you how I see you. I hope you figured that out. I'm running out of paper room. I hope you like your one last, homemade Christmas gift. A heavenly sculpture from the devil incarnate to the most heavenly Angel God created. Merry Christmas, Jane. Adam." Joan looked at the spot where Adam had put a dash and signed his name. On the paper she could see that he'd started to sign the letter with 'Love, Adam," but, apparently deciding against it, had erased it and simply signed his name to it. Joan felt the tears in her eyes, and knew they were really there when one of them escaped and landed near Adam's name on the paper. She sniffled and refolded the paper before peeking into the small keepsake box Adam had crafted. _

_There, lying in the box was the gold chain of a necklace. She had reached into the box, which was decorated on the inside as well, and she picked up the necklace by its chain where it hooked together. _

_Pulling out the treasure she stare at the charm hanging off of it. It was a capital cursive J, with the golden rays emanating from the bright circle of the sun that seemed to be in orbit around the simple letter. Joan wasn't used to seeing Adam's welding work on such a small piece of metal, much less gold. She stared at it for a long time, her hand covering her mouth as a couple more tears fell down her cheeks. _

_"You know, he really does know how stupid he is…for whatever it's worth," Grace said from the doorway. Joan started slightly at the sound of her friend's voice and hurriedly put the necklace back in the box, setting the box next to her on the bed. She furiously wiped at her face as Grace came in, shutting the door behind her, and setting herself on the other side of Joan. She gave Joan's shoulder a slight shove. "He did a nice job on the rays of the sun," _

_Joan sighed and put her head in her hands. "What am I supposed to do?" She groaned, flopping her head down on Grace's shoulder. Surprisingly enough, Grace didn't push her away. Instead, Joan felt an arm around her shoulders. _

_"I've said it before and I'll say it again, I can't tell ya what to do, Girardi," She said to Joan. "I can tell you a few other things though." _

_"Like what?" Joan muttered, reaching up to wipe another tear from her cheek. _

_"Well, Rove spent nearly three months making that," Grace pointed to the necklace. "And he spent the entire summer orchestrating his presents for you. And he spent since May literally kicking his own ass over his stupid hormones. And I know somewhere in there you know that too." _

_"And your point is?" Joan put her head in her hands again. _

_"My point…is that maybe, instead of stifling your emotions, which always leads you to go psycho every other day, you should listen to your feelings and let them…I don't know…guide you…or something? Isn't that how it's supposed to go in the fuzzy feeling department?" Grace inquired. Joan sighed._

_"How am I supposed to forget what he did?" She asked, looking at Grace for an answer. Grace sighed. _

_"I don't think it's so much forget, more like, forgive…move on?" Grace suggested. "Not necessarily with Rove, but just in general, dude. I mean it's kind of…sad…to let your life get ruled by someone else, isn't it?" _

_"I don't think I can get over him, Grace." Joan sighed. "I really do love him…" _

_"Yeah…I'm aware of that." Grace nodded. "He does love you. Though…he was a first class jerk." She commented. Joan nodded, her bottom lip sticking out. "But…I did threaten to force feed him the diamond from my mom's busted engagement ring if he crossed any lines similar to the one he crossed before." Joan snickered at this. "And, Luke promised he'd get Kevin to teach him how to properly swing a baseball bat so that, should the opportunity arise, he can sufficiently take Rove's head off with one properly placed swing." Grace nodded. Joan snickered again. _

_"I don't want him dead." She said. _

_"Oh, of course not," Grace nodded. "Not if he behaves." She nodded. "And besides, this is only if you decide to you know get back together with him and be all mushy and sappy, so that I truly can feel nauseous at lunch again." Grace sighed. "P.S., Girardi," Grace said standing up and heading for the door, turning to look at Joan as she spoke. "He told Luke he doesn't expect you to ever get back together with him, he just wants things to be…better." _

_"Better?" Joan asked. _

_"Yeah, better," Grace nodded. "You know what I'm talking about Girardi…you've been going at him for months, and he's been shying away for just as long. _And_ you've been putting me and brain in the middle for months as well. Frankly it's annoying. So…make up your mind however you want…just make it up, Girardi. It's about time, don't you think? I'll hold off your family for twenty…give you time to get together…and all that." Grace waved a hand at Joan and turned to leave. _

_"Grace?" _

_"Yeah, Girardi?" Grace replied. _

_"Thank you." Joan said. Grace nodded with a small, sarcastic salute before leaving. _

"What're you thinking about?"

"Hmm, what?" Joan shook her head and turned her eyes to meet Adam's half open ones. She was now aware that his hand was caressing his hand down through her hair.

"You have that lost gaze…" Adam smiled. "So what're you thinking about?"

"Oh…nothing important." She assured, smiling and placing a kiss on his shoulder. Adam turned more on his side and looked at her, propping his head up on his hand.

"You sure?" He asked. Joan nodded, moving up to kiss him. "Okay," He smiled and leaned in to kiss her again.

* * *

"Why don't you let me drive you over?" Luke suggested. They had been at the Girardi house for an hour. Helen and Will were busy getting acquainted with Missy, who was well versed in the world of Garlic and was doing a fine job of chopping it for Will. Grace and Luke were on the porch. Grace was trying to keep the courage to go to her house up and Luke was trying to convince her to let him come along. In truth, he was scared that Grace would return with more bruises. 

"No, brain, I'm just going to go over and see how everything is," Grace reasoned.

"Well, what would be so wrong with me taking you there?" Luke pressed on. Grace sighed.

"Fine, whatever, let's just go." Grace turned and walked to the car, climbing in. Luke got in and turned the car on. Grace was once again staring out the window. She sighed at the country music, but listened to the words anyway, not wanting to listen to the thoughts rolling around her brain anyway.

_I been down about as low as anyone can get/The whole world was closin' in/Couldn't find a friend/No one else could help me/Had to walk through the fire alone/Life has brought me to my knees/And faith had led me home…_

Grace glanced at Luke, thankful that he was looking at the road and didn't notice her look at him. She really did want him to bring her home. She also would have liked him to go in with her. At least she would be stubborn enough to have a backbone if Luke were there. She wouldn't want to be a chicken in front of Luke. Normally she just froze, never sure what her mother was going to do or say to her next. Grace sighed and looked back out the window. She felt her jaw clench and anger starting to bubble from within. Why did her family have to be the way it was? Why did she have to feel so weak and vulnerable at her mother's mercy when she really just wanted to be herself, and fight her way tooth and nail through her family life until she got everything out in the open and forced her parents to know how she felt inside every time they let her down.

_Let the storm rage around me/I will stand, I will fight/And when the darkness surrounds me/I will make my own light/I may not win every battle/But I'll get stronger with every fear I face/And I'll be brave…_

"Here we are…" Luke said, double-parking outside of Grace's house. Grace took a deep breath and looked at the house. She stared for a few minute before Luke's words interrupted her thoughts. "Hey, you know, I can stay out here…until you go in and check everything out?" He suggested.

Grace closed her eyes tightly.

_I can be courageous and still be so afraid/I've discovered pain is the beginning to a change/Somewhere inside us/there's a strength we don't know we have/Just when you think you can't go on/Suddenly there's a path…_

"Grace?" Luke asked. He put his hand on her shoulder. Grace took a deep breath and shook her head.

"No. I'll be fine." She assured with a nod of her head. "In fact, I'll be better than fine."

"Oh really?" Luke asked. Grace nodded. "And why is that?"

"Because…I'm not gonna freeze this time." She said. Luke nodded.

_Let the storm rage around me/I will stand, I will fight/And when the darkness surrounds me/I will make my own light/I may not win every battle/But I'll get stronger with every fear I face/And I'll be brave…_

"Well…good luck," Luke said encouragingly, putting his hand up to the side of her face. "I'm a phone call away if you want me to come pick you up…"

Grace nodded. "Thanks, brain," She offered a small smile. Luke nodded. Grace climbed out of the car.

"Dinner's at 6:30!" Luke called. "You know my Dad when people are late for pasta!"

Grace stopped and turned, walking back to his side of the car. She leaned inside the open window and took Luke's face in her hands, granting him a long lovely kiss before giving him a grin and a wink, then pulling herself out of the window and walking briskly up to the front door.

"Hello?" Grace called, walking through the living room, then the dining room. Finally she stopped at the kitchen, frowning. It wasn't surprising to find her mother at the kitchen table, filling her glass with the bottom half of a bottle of vodka. After all, Grace hadn't been expecting to walk in and find anything different.

"Well…well…well…" Sarah drawled. "Look here what the cat finally drug in."

"Yeah…" Grace pursed her lips together and nodded slowly. "Great to see you too, mom." She said dryly.

"Oh, one sentence in the door, and you're already sassing me are you?" Sarah put her glass to her lips and downed the last half of it before putting the glass down angrily and standing. Grace took a deep breath.

"No," She shook her head at her mother, unable to move. Grace said it more to herself. She wanted to snap out of her trance. She felt her hands getting clammy, and her throat drying out.

"You should have more respect for me," Sarah held her finger up in Grace's face. "No phone calls, you come for a holiday and only stop by with no overnight bag? Are you bunking with that…that _boy_?" Sarah demanded, her face flushing mad. Grace jumped slightly, closing her eyes as her mother's slurring caused spit to fly at her.

_Get a grip, Polk,_ she told herself. Grace's mother laughed heartily. She went over to the table and took the vodka bottle by the neck, downing half of what was left in a swift gulp. Before Grace could say anything, Sarah made her way back over to Grace, standing mere centimeters away from her. Grace felt her stomach flip at the stench coming off her mother.

"You are shacking up with that boy, aren't you?" Sarah demanded, her pointing finger stabbing Grace in her collarbone. Grace flinched. "Answer me!" Sarah demanded, giving Grace a tough shove that threw Grace off her balance. It also gave Sarah's balance a shake, causing her to grab the counter for support.

_Every time I get back up it gets harder to knock me down/cause my souls' on steady ground…_

Grace pulled herself to her feet angrily. She advanced towards her mother, ignoring the throbbing in her right wrist, which she'd landed on.

"Yes, I am as a matter of fact," She replied to her mother. Sarah's face hardened.

"Oh, so this family's not good enough for you? No phone calls, no letters, nothing from you and now you've waltzed back in here like we owe you something?" Sarah demanded.

"You do owe me something," Grace retorted. Sarah raised her head and narrowed her eyes at Grace.

"And _what_…exactly do I owe you?" Sarah almost snarled. Grace looked up into her mother's red eyes. She felt her throat go dry again just as she was about to let her mother have it. Inwardly she screamed at herself. This was her chance. She had to let her mother have it. Frozen to her spot, Grace stared Sarah down, trying to find the courage to tell her mother everything she needed to.

_Let the storm rage around me/I will stand, I will fight/And when the darkness surrounds me/I will make my own light/I may not win every battle/But I'll get stronger with every fear I face/And I'll be brave…_

Grace thought about Luke. _"I'm a phone call away if you want me to come pick you up…"_ Luke's words rang through her head. Her anger began to rise again. She thought about Becky and how her mother had caused the loss of her friends. She thought about how she'd spent years pushing people away because she was afraid they'd find out about her mother. She thought about the bruises before the summer. She thought about her parents not even bothering to call and see her after they'd been informed that their daughter was dead for nearly 4 minutes. Grace felt like her heart was going to explode. Her hands shook. Her eyes began to burn with tears that she refused to let shed. If she could only just force the words out that she needed to force out.

_I'll Be Brave…_

"You owe me my life back." Grace said with a shaky breath. Sarah was taken aback by this statement.

"I…what?" She asked, clearly shocked.

"You owe me my life back…mother." Grace said, her teeth clenched. "You owe me all those nights I cleaned up after _you_ because you were passed out in your bed from drinking too much! I want Becky not to run into me at random places in Arcadia and act like I'm a freak because of _you_." Grace's voice was shouting now. "I want _you_ to know that when I sat in that hospital room with only _that boy's_ family to comfort me when I was scared. You didn't even care! Neither of you even bothered to call and ask me if I was all right! _That boy_ that I'm _shacking up with_? Yeah, his name's Luke Girardi. You should remember it. He was there, you weren't. Though it wasn't surprising in all honesty. Do you know why? Because you never are! You don't care about anyone but yourself and that bottle!"

"Now you listen here!" Sarah yelled. She stamped her foot and slammed the bottle down on the counter. Grace tried not to flinch.

"No! You listen!" Grace used her finger to point now. "I _died_. Does that mean anything to you? Because really, if it does, I would shocked, amazed, wowed!" Grace said almost dramatically.

"Stop it!" Sarah said, visibly shaken by Grace. She put her hand on her forehead and turned, leaning on the bottle she was still holding until it wobbled and fell to the floor, shattering into a million pieces. "Look what you made me do!"

"No, mom, that's just it," Grace said. Sarah looked at Grace. "I didn't make you do anything…you did this on your own…and I'm not sticking around to watch you drown in this…putrid liquid. This is your bed; you made it, you lay in it on your own. Goodbye."

Grace turned on her heel and stormed out towards the door, shaking with rage and sadness.

"Gracie don't you walk away from me! I'm your mother! You clean up this mess!" Sarah pleaded.

Grace stopped, her hand on the door with it halfway open. She leaned her head against the door to keep from falling due to her wobbly, rubber-like legs.

"It's your mess… clean it." Grace called back. "Watch out if you try and lick it up, mom, there's probably glass in it." Grace felt a momentary pang of guilt at the look on her mother's tearstained face, but she resisted the urge to run in and hug her mother and apologize before cleaning up the mess and taking her mom to ly down.

Without another word, or thought, Grace crossed through the doorway, slammed the door behind her and sped down the walkway. Halfway up the street her guilt got to her in the heat of the moment and she spun on her heel to go back. After taking three steps back she yelled at herself and turned around again, heading straight for the Girardi house.

* * *

"So…I take it Grace doesn't get along with her parents?" Missy asked as she and Luke sat around the living room coffee table with Helen playing Scrabble. Helen cleared her throat. 

"Uh…well. Sort of. It's a long story…" Luke said nervously.

"I'm going to go make sure your father didn't put too much extra garlic in the marinara," Helen excused herself. Luke glanced at Missy, who was finishing up spelling a word.

Before they could continue the conversation, the phone rang. Luke picked it up.

"Hello?" He asked, truthfully expecting Grace to be on the other end.

"Hey rocket boy, what's shaking in the land of Arcadia?" Joan asked. Luke smiled to himself.

"Hey, how's the weather?" Luke replied.

"Much better then there, that's for sure!" Though she seemed happy at this fact, there was a sadness in her voice.

"I'll put you on speaker phone tomorrow during dinner if you want?" Luke asked. Joan laughed.

"That's one option." She said. "Listen, can I talk to mom real quick?"

"Sure, hold on." Luke excused himself from the game and brought his mom the phone. He walked back out towards the living room, but stopped in the foyer. He squinted at the window next to the door. Someone was pacing on the porch. He walked to the door and opened it, letting himself out.

Grace was there, pacing with her arms crossed. She was shaking and shivering. Her eyes were red and puffed out and she angrily wiped at her cheeks every now and then. Her breath was ragged and she kept trying to slow it.

"Grace…?" Luke asked. Grace didn't look at him, she just kept pacing.

"I can't believe it…I actually did it." She said in a trance. "I almost buckled. I did buckle. But then…you should've been there to see it.

"Grace!" Luke grabbed her shoulders gently to stop her. Grace slowly let her eyes meet his. "Are you all right?" He asked.

"Yes…I told her everything," She said. She frowned and looked down. "No…I don't know…" She held her hands up. "I'm kind of…shaky." She observed.

"Come here," Luke opened his arms, but waited for her to decide. Grace stared at him for a moment. She swallowed hard, her eyes filling up again. She stepped forward and let Luke pull her in to him.

"I don't know…what to do…what I did…" She buried her face against him.

"Why don't we take a seat and you can tell me everything that happened?" Luke suggested. Grace barely nodded and Luke brought her over to the steps, where they sat down. Luke kept her close to him, holding on to her firmly, letting on head rub her back as she spoke. She told him the whole story and Luke just listened.

"Say something…" Grace said once she'd finished the story and they were in silence for a few minutes.

"Well…I'm glad you got to say what you need to," Luke spoke up. He kissed her forehead. "And I'm very proud of you for doing so," He said with a nod. Grace's cheeks flushed a little. "Do you feel better?"

Grace nodded and thanked him. "We should get inside. I should clean up before dinner…your dad will think it's the garlic." She said sheepishly.

"We can't have that, now can we?" Luke stood and held his hands out for Grace. She shook her head as she stood and they walked inside.

**

* * *

A/N: **Sorry this took so long but between my brother visiting, the holiday and not being able to get the computer, plus this being a harder chapter for me to write because I wanted to do it well, it took me a little longer! I hope you like it. Title from "Brave" by Jamie O'Neal.


	7. Thanksgiving Is A Special Night

**Holds Me Together  
Rating:** T-M Just in case  
**Disclaimer:** At this point do I really need to write more then 'disclaimer' for you to know that I own only the new unheard of characters?  
**Reviews: MDM79 – **No problem on clearing it up. There's more flashbacks up ahead though. ) Yeah, Grace should've done that long again, but, hey better late then never? Aww…I love kids! How old does your nephew act? My cousin just had her second baby on the 5th, so forgive me if I gush at anytime… **Jane and Adam – **I'm glad you're back! Hey, a break from everyday life is big, dude, breaks up the monotony! **Kool-Wolf – **Dude! Hey, hey, hey, who said it was _your_ idea? I hate you remember, why would I like your idea? Psssh! And hey, your sister loves your company apparently, enjoy it! My bro hates mine. I was thinking that even though Grace despises what her mother's done, deep down it's still her mother. She hasn't gotten to the 'I hate you' part in life just yet. Oh, and dude? I more than made up for it with a super long chapter, yo! Remember always **PUNK**, I hate you, yo! **Audrey – **Hey, thanks! I'm not positive how many more chapters. I'm thinking I'll make this maybe 15-20 chapters altogether. P.S. – Dude, me too! ) **Sam – **In a nutshell responding: I thought I might've made the flashbacks a bit long but I was happy with them. I could've made Grace fiercer but…well you'll see eventually. Yeah, I hate putting the fic on hold though. Some nasty stuff happened this week too that made this chapter take longer too. But the next one shouldn't be so long! **Tiffany – **And I said what about Breakfast at tiffany's, she said I, think I remember the film and, as I recall we both kinda liked it and I said well that's, the one thing we've got! Ahem, excuse me, sorry…I couldn't contain myself there. Hey! I'm not 'stealing' just uh, borrowing? Dude I totally got crap from that person via email! YAY next chapter! And P.S., Led Zeppelin said it best my friend…ramble on! **Laura – **Yes, you'll get a full report on what Sarah and the Rabbi thought of her actions! I'm sorry for your withdraw dude, but don't worry, I'll try to have more than one chapter for your return chica! Have fun in France-where French Fries and French Toast were NOT created by the way…how disappointing is that? Send me an e-mail about your trip! I will be sure to fill up my story with extra G/L for you! American studies and English, eh? Let me know if I can help! Hope your trip was good!  
**A/N** Whoa, responding to my readers is getting almost as longwinded as my stories! I love it! I love you people! You make my day! P.S. Sorry if you don't review and you hate scrolling through my responses to get to the story, but I feel each review merits a response! Sorry for the proofreading as always. Sorry! Read on with yo bad self, now!

**Chapter 7 – Thanksgiving Is a Special Night**

"Hey! Yo! Wake up! Knock, knock!"

Joan sighed as she inhaled deeply, stretching at she woke up to the sound of someone's voice outside her door. Adam was squirming awake as well.

"Come on guys!" The knocking came again.

"Is that…Brandon?" Joan asked. She climbed out of bed, wrapping the blanket tightly around her as she did.

"Ah…Jane! It's cold!" Adam searched for something to cover himself up with. He found his boxers and then climbed down to grab an extra blanket from the couch, which he wrapped himself in and then flopped down onto the couch, still mostly asleep. Joan opened the door and then hugged the blanket to herself again.

"Brandon? What are you doing here? I thought you went home with Colby?" Joan asked. Brandon looked her up and down, arching his eyebrows.

"I…didn't mean to interrupt?" Brandon glanced over her shoulder, trying to find where Adam was since Joan was standing in front of him wrapped in a blanket.

"Don't gawk at me, answer the question." Joan said dramatically using the hand that was sticking out of the tightly closed blanket to smack him. "No, scratch that." She pushed him just outside the threshold of the door. "You stay there for a few minutes, okay?" She waited for him to nod slightly before she shut the door and proceeded to pull on some sweats.

"Adam, come on, put some pants on or something," Joan said, throwing his jeans at him as he sat up and yawned, stretching.

"All right…all right," He smiled sheepishly and pulled the jeans on.

"Okay then," Joan said, opening the door, "enter and answer," She waved him in. Brandon walked in cautiously.

"Hey," He greeted Adam with a handshake as he sat on the couch next to him.

"Hey…" Adam said, running his hands through his hair. "How come you're not home?"

"Thank you! That's what I asked!" Joan said, coming to rest, sitting in Adam's lap. Brandon sighed.

"I wasn't welcome there." He said. "So what are your plans for Thanksgiving dinner tonight?"

"Don't change the subject!" Joan lightly slapped Brandon's shoulder. "Why wouldn't you be welcome home?"

"It's not important," Brandon stated, standing up. "Are you guys doing anything tonight? Hayley's gotten reservations at some fancy place for dinner. She told them four, in case you wanted to join us?" He extended the offer with a smile. "Of course if you're going to skip right to having each other for dessert…ow!" He rubbed his side when Joan shoved him, each of them chuckling. "So how about it, are you in?" Brandon continued. Joan and Adam looked at each other.

"What do you think?" He asked. Joan shrugged.

"As long as there are no peanuts, I'm there." She smiled. Brandon smiled.

"Great. It's for 6:30." Brandon headed for the door. "It's kind of fancy, okay?"

Joan and Adam nodded. "Good, I'll come get you guys at 6 then. Be ready."

"Okay," Joan said.

"Later Brandon," Adam called as Brandon left, shutting the door behind him.

"I wonder why he couldn't go home?" Joan commented out loud. Adam shrugged, burying his face in her neck leaving kisses there and across her shoulder.

"Who knows?" Adam shrugged. Joan closed her eyes and ran her hand through his hair, shrugging herself.

"I sure don't…" She let the sentence trail off.

* * *

"Good morning…" Grace said awkwardly as she entered the Girardi kitchen and stretched. It was 5:30 am. She hadn't been expecting anyone to be up so early, but then she'd remembered it was a holiday and Helen was starting the food early. 

"Good morning, Grace," Helen smiled warmly. "Want some coffee?" Helen asked as she filled her own mug.

Yawning, Grace nodded, "That would be excellent." Helen poured Grace a mug and set it down on the table. "Do you, want any help?" Grace asked, still feeling awkward. In Grace's opinion, Helen Girardi was quite possibly her favorite parental figure. She had always been kind and helpful to Grace even when Grace was being a smartass about late slips. _"The reason I'm tardy…is because I'm late."_ She remembered saying to Helen one morning.

"Oh, not just yet," Helen smiled again. "I'm still making sure I have everything I need. The turkey's already in. I'm pretty sure everything's under control and I'll start chopping soon, if you want to lend a hand with that when I start?" Helen suggested. Grace offered a nod as she stirred sugar into her coffee.

"Sure, I can do that," She said, leaning her arm across the knee that she had pulled up on her chair and sipping her coffee.

"So why are you up so early?" Helen broke the momentary silence between them. One thing was for sure; Helen always wanted to inquire things of Grace. They weren't bad things, just curiosities. And so far she'd been very empathic while discussing anything with Grace. She always knew when to draw the line and back off. Grace remembered last New Year's Eve, the dawning of 2006. It was when Helen had discovered the extent of Grace's problems.

_Having no good parties to go to besides the one that Luke's parents were throwing, Luke and Grace resigned to avoid most of the New Year's Eve festivities. First they'd had dinner at the Girardi party. Their plan was to eat dinner between them and Joan and when Adam arrived and ate, they were all going to head for the movie theater, where there was supposed to be a marathon of some sort until about 11 or 11:30. However, once Adam had shown up, Grace knew the plans were off. He and Joan were still at odds. Joan had only talked to Adam to invite him to the party, on Christmas Day. As far as Grace knew, Joan still hadn't made up her mind about what to do. _

_"Hey," Adam nodded to Grace, Luke and Joan who were seated in a corner of the living room chowing down. Grace offered a short wave and Luke did similar, since they were both chewing. Joan had put her fork down on her plate and set it on a nearby table, standing up and wiping her mouth off with a napkin. "Hey Jane," Adam said to her. It was already so loud that Joan could hardly hear him. _

_"Hey…Adam," Joan cleared her throat out. "Can I, uhm, talk to you, just for a minute…uhm, outside?" _

_Adam studied her for a moment. He nodded slowly. "Yeah. Sure," He stepped aside to let her lead the way, glancing down and noticing that she was indeed wearing the necklace he'd made for her as he followed her. _

_It was five minutes later that Grace and Luke had gone out front to see if Joan and Adam were ready to leave when they found the couple engrossed in a passionate kiss on the steps. _

_"Whoa…save it for midnight," Grace said as she passed them and headed up the walkway. "Later," she called, not having to ask if they were coming. Luke just followed along, waving goodbye to his sister and Adam, who had barely parted to say goodbye before locking lips again. _

_"So…are we still going to the theater?" Luke inquired, stuffing his hands in his pockets to warm them up. _

_"No, let's just walk," Grace shrugged. "We'll end up somewhere."_

_"Okay," Luke had agreed with a smile. _

_Sure enough by 11:30, they'd ended up in the park. Grace sat down on one of the swing, letting the flat rubber seat curl around her as she pushed with her toe and slowly swung back and forth a few inches. Luke had gone to the one next to her and stepped up onto it with one foot, holding the chains tightly, and swung his free foot to maneuver the swing back and forth from his standing position. Grace looked up at him as her swung faster and faster. _

_"What are you doing, brain?" She laughed slightly, though Luke could hear a slight hint of concern in her voice. Luke was grinning. _

_"Kevin used to make me do this all the time when I was 6," He explained, a distant look on his smiling face as he propelled back and forth. "'Go higher Luke! Push harder! Come on!' he used to yell," Luke imitated Kevin with a slight chuckle. "And then, when I got up enough momentum…" Luke moved his arms in front of the chains and waited to swing forward again before launching himself into the air. "'Jump!'" Luke called at the same moment as his take off. _

_"Luke!" Grace had jumped from her sitting position, watching as Luke sailed through the air. He landed on his feet with his knees bent and had to run forward a few feet because of the momentum. He stumbled and flopped over the small railing that was sticking out of the ground about 6 feet in front of the swing set. He landed on his back, laughing heartily after he'd let out a nice 'Oof!'_

_"Are you okay?" Grace asked as she reached him, smiling at the goofy laughing he was doing. Grace helped him up and they walked over to the drawbridge by the slides and they lay down across it, staring up at the sky. Luke's face suddenly fell slightly and he opened his eyes, which were filled with tears from laughing, and looked at Grace. "What?" Grace asked him._

_"I used to think I had no good memories of Kevin from before the accident," Luke said absently, looking back at the sky. _

_"Oh…" Grace didn't know what to say. Luke shrugged. _

_"I used to only be able to remember the shoulder punches, and celebrating whenever he won a game or a trophy or an award, and only getting a 'good work, Luke' and a pat on the back when I got a blue ribbon, or a science fair award," He continued. "But then I started thinking more about it. About the playground, and the bullies who almost wet their pants when Kevin would warn them to leave me alone, and how he used to ask me what my projects were on even though he had no idea what I was talking about after explaining it to him. How he would save the last pop-tart for me since Joan was taller and I couldn't reach it before she would steal it." Luke shrugged again. "I guess I was just being stupid." _

_"You felt left out," Grace commented. "Adults have a way of doing that to kids when they're really into something. I used to ask my dad if I could come to work with him, so that way I would be able to see him besides on Saturday." She'd nodded. She looked over and saw Luke staring at her. "What? Do I have food on my face?" _

_Luke laughed. "No, I just like looking at you," He told her. Grace blushed in the darkness and gave his ribs a light elbow. _

_"The mush factor is reaching uncomfortable levels here," She'd said to him. _

_"There's only one way to combat that, then," Luke said, turning on his side. Grace offered a smirk. _

_"Oh?" She asked. Luke nodded and both of them practically attacked each other for the beginning of their New Year's make out session at the park. In the distance they heard neighborhood people at parties counting down on their front lawns and then exploding into commotion with horns, clackers, bangers and pots and pans. _

_"Happy New Year," Luke smiled when they broke apart. Grace nodded. _

_"Ditto," She said. They climbed off the bridge and headed out of the park. "Let's head back to your house." She suggested. Luke nodded, surprised when he felt her hand travel to his and nestle there. He smiled at her as they walked._

_At the Girardi house, Joan and Adam were just finishing their New Year's Eve kiss when a figure with blonde hair had come up the walkway, shaking and wavering slightly. Joan squinted at the figure as she and Adam stood up. _

_"Is that…?" Joan trailed off, still trying to make out the figure in the darklight. _

_"Mrs. Polanski?" Adam asked as Sarah approached the steps. _

_"Where's my daughter?" Sarah demanded, making it to the second step before losing her balance and falling into Adam who just barely caught her. He cringed at the smell of her breath, as she talked right in his face. "Where is that little tramp?" _

_"Mrs. Polanski, Grace isn't here-," Joan began to say. Adam tried to help Sarah back up but Sarah shoved him off of her and stumbled up the steps. _

_"Don't lie to me!" She threw open the Girardi front door before Joan could stop her and barged in. Adam and Joan exchanged glances before quickly going after her. _

_Joan told Grace later what Sarah had done inside the house. Sarah had not only given Helen and earful about what a bad influence Joan was on Grace, and insulted Will about his job, but she had also broken a lamp, a bowl, and dumped a plastic cup of soda down the front of Helen before locating a half full bottle of wine and tilting it back to her lips, and drained it in less than 7 seconds. _

_Sarah had then attempted to storm out of the house. She'd gotten as far as two feet out the front door with Joan and Adam stepping out to the sides of her and Helen and Will in the doorway behind her, when she promptly leaned over and began vomiting all over. _

_"Mom?" Grace and Luke had just arrived up the front walk. Joan, Adam, Helen and Will all looked up to see Grace on the top step of the porch, horror stricken. "What are you doing here?" She whispered harshly to Sarah as she got closer. She looked at Helen and Will. "I-I'm sorry, I'll get her home." She said to them. _

_"Let me get my keys, I'll drive you," Will said. _

_"No!" Grace said, wrapping an arm around Sarah's shoulders. She looked at the vomit and let her mom go. "I'll clean this up first-,"_

_"No, Grace that won't be necessary," Helen had told Grace. She caught Grace eyes, and Grace felt paralyzed and trapped. Her eyes pleaded with Helen's to leave the situation alone. Helen gave a slight nod, and Grace knew that Helen would talk to her later about what had happened. _

_"I'll walk you home," Luke offered, getting on the other side of Sarah to help support Sarah's stumbling. Grace didn't argue, simply because any kind of vocal sounds would have caused her to break down and cry out of humiliation and sadness. _

"Oh…I just couldn't sleep," Grace told Helen with a sheepish shrug. "I've got a lot on my mind."

"Your mother called last night," Helen said, reaching up to grab two oversized bowls out of a cabinet. She glanced a Grace, who stared at her coffee. "Is everything okay with her?"

Grace bit her lip. Not long after that New Year's Eve, Helen had cornered Grace and convinced her to come over for lunch the following Sunday since everyone had plans and would be out of the house. Grace wasn't sure why she's agreed, but Helen had that effect on people. It was at the time, over sandwiches and tea that Grace had broken down. She'd lost control of her emotions after apologizing for her mother's actions and found herself with her face buried into Helen's shoulder as Helen held onto her, stroking her hair and her back and calmly telling Grace that it would be okay and if she ever needed somewhere to stay overnight to get away, that she didn't have to sneak into Luke's room like she'd been doing for months. Grace had never been able to properly express her gratitude to Helen for understanding and no pressing the issue further than Grace could take at any given time.

"I…gave her a piece of my mind…to say the least…" Grace said anxiously as he thumb picked at the chipped paint on the mug's handle. Helen nodded, sitting down neck to Grace to finish her coffee and this conversation. Grace glanced at her and then back at her coffee. Helen put her hand on Grace's forearm.

"It's okay to tell a person how you feel, Grace," Helen said. "Especially when it's an opinion you've been bottling up for a long time. Whether she liked it or not, your mother needed to hear whatever it was you had to say to her, I'm sure."

Grace looked at Helen for a long moment. Helen just watched Grace in return, as if she was waiting for some kind of sign. Grace took a deep breath and prepared to speak. Helen listened patiently.

"Yeah…I'm not very good at this…" she cleared her throat nervously, biting her lip. "But…I never really…thanked you," Grace let her eyes meet Helen's again.

"Oh, Grace, please," Helen brushed the comment off with a wave and a smile. "There's really no need to-,"

"Yes…there is." Grace cut her off. Against her will, Grace's eyes misted up a bit. Her voice became a little shaky. "You and your family, you don't understand how much your…kindness for lack of a better term…meant…means…to me." She chuckled slightly. "You just seem like you think it's just a fact of life to treat someone who's not technically part of your family, like they've belonged there from the beginning…and I've never had that feeling for as long as I can remember…" Grace cut herself off with another nervous laugh. "This sounds so stupid, I'm sorry," She stood to excuse herself, but Helen stopped her by standing up. She blocked Grace's exit by opening her arms and hugging Grace. Grace's first instinct was to squirm away, but she didn't. Instead she hugged Helen back. "Thank you," she said.

"You are always welcome here, Grace." Helen said, moving to look Grace in the eyes and leaving her hands on Grace's shoulders as if that would stress the point. "Do you understand?" Grace nodded. "Good…now let's start chopping things," Helen moved towards the kitchen counter. Grace sniffled a deep breath, turned around and followed, feeling relieved now, instead of awkward.

* * *

"Hey you two," Joan smiled as the hostess had stopped at their table where Brandon and Hayley were already seated. Both stood. Hayley and Joan hugged quickly and Adam and Brandon shook hands before they switched places and Brand and Joan shared a hug and so did Hayley and Adam. Adam held Joan's chair for her as the others sat back down. 

"Hey, we almost thought you weren't coming!" Hayley smiled.

"Sorry about that… had to tame my hair," Joan blushed slightly.

"We ordered appetizers, that way we could just wait for you two to order dinner and all. It should be here soon." Brandon told them. Adam nodded and Joan looked down at her menu.

Their dinner had started out awkwardly but by the time dessert came out, they were laughing and chatting like old friends. They dug into their apple and pumpkin pie slices and drank multiple cups of cappuccino.

"So, I don't get it, Brandon," Joan said. "If Colby went home, how come you couldn't?"

Adam cleared his throat and coughed before taking a sip of his cappuccino. Hayley looked down at her lap and Brandon's smile faded. He straightened up in his chair.

"I'm sorry…I was just, curious," Joan tried to apologize. _Why must _you_ always make me do things that upset people? ARGH!_ She mentally sent a note to God, reminding herself to ask the question next time God showed up, even though she knew she wouldn't get an answer.

"No, it's ok," Brandon told her. He looked at Hayley and smiled. "It's my dad's loss really," He shrugged. Hayley blushed slightly. Brandon looked at Joan. Joan looked from Brandon to Hayley and back again.

"So, this place is nice," Adam interjected, putting a piece in his mouth and closing his eyes to emphasize his statement. "Mmmmmmmmmm,"

Before any of them could control it, they started laughing at not only the look Adam put onto his face but also the fact that he now had whipped cream down the side of his lip and chin.

"What?" Adam opened his eyes, looking around at all of them. "What? What's so funny?" Adam asked as they still laughed at him.

"Come here," Joan waved him over towards her with her hand, as her laughing slowed down. Adam leaned towards her and Joan reached out and wiped the whipped cream off with her thumb before dipping her thumb into her mouth to clean the substance off of her thumb.

Brandon was about to clear his throat and make a joke, when the waiter interrupted them to ask if they needed anything else or wanted their check. As the other fought to hold their laughter in again Brandon asked for the check. As the waiter turned and left, they looked at each other and all started laughing again.

"It was because of me, you know," Hayley said to Joan as they were walking through the campus towards the dorm. Adam and Brandon were a few feet in front of Hayley and Joan as they strolled along.

"What was?" Joan asked, glancing over at Hayley as they walked. Hayley studied the ground as she walked next to Joan, every now and then she would glance at the back of Brandon's head as he and Adam spoke and laughed.

"The reason Brandon couldn't go home for the holiday is me," Hayley restated. Joan was at a momentary loss for words.

"But…that makes no sense?" She posed her statement as a question instead of a statement. Hayley snickered.

"Sure it does." Hayley laughed slightly, "Well, for me it does. Brandon's father is a racist, Joan. Actually…he's more then that from what I understand. He's a human incubator for hatred towards everyone who's not like him."

"Wow…" Joan crossed her arms as she walked. "So he what…told Brandon that he wasn't welcome at home when he found out about you?"

"Something like that," Hayley nodded. "More like cut him off completely and brought all of Brandon's possessions that he left at home to the dump."

"Is that why he got another job?" Joan asked. Hayley nodded.

"He needs the money," She sighed. "His dad said he would forgive Brandon if he let me go and apologized."

"I take it he said no?" Joan asked, though the answer was obvious. _Hmm…I wonder if that's how God feels when I ask stupid questions?_ She wondered.

"Yeah…" Hayley shrugged and sighed. "I told him I would understand if he didn't want to keep going out, but…" She shrugged again.

"But what? Oh come on, don't leave me hanging there!" Joan said. Hayley blushed.

"Hey said his father couldn't manipulate him, he knows what he wants and if it means denying being the son of a hypocrite, then he was okay with that if it means we can still be together." Hayley explained. Joan sighed.

"Well…at least you know he's crazy about you now?" She suggested. Hayley looked at her. Joan smiled. "I mean come on, that's devotion right there…!"

Hayley, knowing Joan was trying to lighten the situation, let a smile break across her face and they laughed a little before launching into a conversation about what drives them crazy about guys.

* * *

"Now listen," Grace said to the little bundle in hr arms going by the name of Caleb. He was wide-awake and had at some point been passed to Grace. Grace was getting the same treatment as Adam, only having the prefix of Aunt in front of her name. Frankly, it freaked her out. She'd been around kids before but none this little. Dark, soft, hair covering his tiny head, and big blue eyes that searched all around Grace's face as she spoke quietly to him. She had retired to the living room as the noise in the dinning room as everyone ate and talked loudly seemed to be annoying the baby, which, Grace vaguely remembered, had been passed to her since she had declared she was done eating. 

"I don't know why they gave you to me," She said. "I'm not the most stable person to hand a baby too after all." Grace sighed, wondering why she'd agreed to take Caleb when he started getting squirmy and fussy. It was probably the tired look that was lingering in Kevin and Lily's eyes that let her know that it was her job to sacrifice herself to give the family some alone time. Besides, after being absent for so long, questions were coming at her and Luke left and right and she'd started feeling a little awkward. She had been sure to remind Kevin and Lily that should their child come back to them with brain damage from her dropping him, they had fair warning.

Now she was sitting on the couch in the living room, slouched down and leaning back, carefully holding Caleb in her arms. He was in a couple layers of clothing and wrapped up all snug in a blanket. He had a little soft knit hat on his head and is hands were in little fists up by his face. Grace felt herself smile slightly.

"Well, I'll give you this much kid…you are pretty cute," She told him. "Of course, that could be because you look like your mom," she smiled to herself, almost sad that no one had been around to hear her quip.

"Hey, I resent that your test in men is less than adequate towards me," Kevin said, startling Grace as he rolled himself down the ramp and parked next to Grace's legs. Grace blushed slightly, but smirked at him. She held Caleb up as if comparing their faces and then looked at the baby.

"Yup, you are so lucky to have more of mommy's genes than daddy's," She nodded. Kevin laughed sarcastically and took Caleb off of Grace when she held the baby out to him.

"Hey there little man," Kevin rocked the infant slightly as Caleb stared at him. He glanced at Grace. "I thought you've never held a baby before?" He asked.

"I haven't," Grace shrugged.

"Could have fooled me," Kevin looked at her. Grace shrugged.

"Just be thankful that he didn't get dropped on his head." She replied. "So…" Grace searched for a topic. "How's the whole…leg thing going?"

Kevin chuckled slightly. He knew that Luke had probably given her every update about the feeling in his legs.

"Slower than I would like," He answered. "But, I can feel below my knees…and…check this out," He looked at his feet. Grace leaned forward and looked at his feet. She was about to ask him what he meant and then he noticed it. Kevin was wiggly his left foot as he smiled. Grace smiled. After all the bad things that seemed to gravitate and happen to the Girardi family, Grace was glad that at least two things had gone right for Kevin. Three if you count Lily. Now he had a baby and he was on the road to walking again.

"Well now, just think, a little move movement like that and you'll be able to put taps on your shows and put on a show," Grace teased him.

"Oh, you think that's funny don't you?" Kevin asked back sarcastically while narrowing his eyes at her.

"Oh yeah," Grace nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"Just you wait, Grace…one day…" Kevin warned.

"Oh what is that your idea of a threat? One day what?" Grace challenged. Kevin just looked at her; as if he knew some big secret about her that he was just waiting for her to figure out on her own. He looked down at Caleb when Caleb began to make noises at him, and then glanced at Grace again.

"Excuse me, I think duty calls," Kevin situated Caleb carefully in his lap and began to roll out of the room.

"You can't just leave mid-idle-threat! That's breaking the rules!" Grace called after him. Kevin looked down at Caleb.

"Is Aunt Grace being crazy?" He asked Caleb in a baby voice and then nodded. "Yeah, she's crazy." His voice faded as he rolled away in search of the diaper bag and Grace shook her head, deciding not to call back after him.

"Could it be that the incomparable Grace Polk is going soft because of a baby?" Luke questioned, sitting next to Grace. Grace narrowed her eyes at him.

"Take it back or I swear my New Year's resolution will be not to kiss you for the entire year," She threatened. Luke laughed.

"Please…you couldn't hold off if you tried," He said, more hopefully than confident. They stared at each other for a few minutes before Grace gave in. She sighed and leaned in. Luke smiled. "I knew you couldn't resist," He teased before he kissed her.

"Oh please, pssh," Grace dismissed with a wave of her hand and a sly smile, "I just didn't want you to go into some kind of catatonic state from lack of contact or something."

Luke laughed. "Is that what that was?" He asked. Grace nodded.

"Of course. I mean your eyes were glazing over and everything, it was getting pathetic." She teased.

Luke was about to respond when Lily broke their conversation.

"Hey, come on you two, dessert's on the table." She called from the foyer. Luke and Grace walked into the dinning room. Grace grabbed her stomach as she sat down.

"I don't think I can fit anymore," She said.

"I can!" Luke already had a piece of pumpkin pie and a piece of apple pie on his plate, he was in the process of grabbing a canole and some cookies before putting a dollop of whipped cream on his pumpkin pie and ice cream onto his apple pie as he said this. Everyone stared at him. He was about to dig in when he noticed this. "What?" He asked.

"How could you _possibly_ fit anything else in there?" Grace asked. Luke shrugged.

"I haven't eaten since dinner yesterday…in anticipation," He announced proudly. Will and Kevin laughed at this. Helen and Lily shook their heads in disbelief.

"Dude, that's seriously demented," Grace told him. Luke shrugged.

"Hey…I've waited months for this meal!" Luke tried to excuse his behavior with a sheepish shrug.

"Hey, it's your stomach to overfill, brain," Grace said, holding her hands up in defense. "Go ahead and eat like a pregnant woman if it's your heart's desire," She grinned.

"Hey!" Lily interjected. Helen and Will exchanged glances and Kevin laughed.

"Well, it's okay to eat that way if you are pregnant," Grace said to Lily. She turned back to Luke, faking a serious expression. "Tell us Luke, how late are you this month?"

Luke flushed, his mouth full of pie. He swallowed it hard. A grin crossed his face. "6 weeks, Grace, and guess what," Luke leaned in as if he was going to whisper, and said quietly but loud enough to be heard by the whole table. "You're the father," He said. Everyone was laughing now and Grace just smiled at Luke. She remembered when he would stutter and fumble for a good comeback to her quips. Now those times were fewer and farther between. He started telling her that she'd been keeping him on his toes and she'd better watch out because he'd pass her soon and then she'd have to start learning more science to keep up with him.

"Wow…" Kevin cleared his throat. He looked at Lily. "I think they're acting more like a married couple than we do," He commented. "What do you think?"

Lily studied Luke and Grace, who were now blushing, for a moment. She nodded with a small grin. "Yeah, I think so,"

"Yeah, on that note, I'm totally going for something to drink," Grace stood up. "Anybody need anything?"

A chorus of 'no's' went up.

"I'll come with you to get the coffee," Helen followed Grace.

* * *

"There's some Dr. Pepper hidden in the vegetable draw," Helen said as she passed Grace and checked to see if the coffee pot was done. She grabbed a tray and started gathering mugs, sugar and milk. 

"Yes!" Grace dug a can out excitedly. "Mrs. G, you amaze me," She said as she poured the soda into her cup.

"What can I say, I try," Helen smiled and shrugged sheepishly as she put the coffee pot on the tray. She stopped and looked at Grace, studying her.

"What?" Grace asked, noticing Helen's eyes on her as she finished taking a drink of the soda. Helen watched Grace for another moment and then spoke.

"You two are acting different," she observed. Grace arched her eyebrows.

"Is that…bad?" She sounded confused. Helen laughed nervously.

"No. Different isn't the right word. How about…" Helen thought for a moment. "Closer. That's it. You two are starting to resemble a married couple. Finishing sentences, quirky banter…" Helen trailed off. Grace blushed. She knew where this conversation was going, but she couldn't think of a good way to derail this train of thought.

"Uhh…well, we spend a lot of, uhm, time together," She nodded. Helen eyed her suspiciously.

"Of course, it's none of my business, but…" Helen picked the tray up. "If you two are taking part in all of the aspects of a marriage, then I at least hope the proper precautions are being taken," She said as she walked by Grace and back into the noisy dining room. Grace stood for a moment, still blushing and trying to grasp what had just transpired. Shaking her head she headed back out for the dining room.

**

* * *

A/N: **Sorry for taking so long again. My cousin's husband (who's like one of the best guy's I know in the world-better even than Luke, ladies…) his brother died last Saturday in a motorcycle accident so on Friday I was babysitting for my cousin (who just had her second baby on the 5th, and has a 2 ½ year old daughter), from 1 pm until nearly midnight. Then the funeral was Saturday, early in the morning. And it was really long, and crowded. He was a cop (in a police biker gang aptly named the Wild Pigs no less.) Anyway, things have been busy and sad (and happy because yay baby Michael was born! He's so cute!), and frustrating. I promise you won't have to wait so long for the next update!

P.S. - Chapter title is from Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving song, duh, what else?


	8. The Devil Inside

**Holds Me Together  
Rating:** T-M Just in case  
**Disclaimer:** You know the drill.  
**A/N:** I love you people! You make my day! Sorry for the proofreading as always. **FYI**: **My responses to reviews are going to be at the bottom of each chapter instead of the top, just so that everyone doesn't have to scroll to get to the story. Don't' feel unloved, it's not like I'm going to ignore the reviews! I swear! **Read on with yo bad self, now!

**

* * *

Chapter 8 – The Devil Inside**

"Joan, you should walk faster, you'll be late,"

Joan nearly jumped out of her skin when a jogger caught up to her and started speaking. She was coming from the bookstore and along with her over packed bag; she had books in her arms and a coffee in her hand. All of the contents in her arm nearly went crashing to the ground when she jumped. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she turned to Jogger God, whom she had to admit was pretty hot. He looked like he'd been running long. His long golden hair was soaked and a t-shirt was folded in half and hanging from the waistband of his soccer shorts, so he'd obviously taken it off because it was too hot.

"You know, I swear I'm probably the only one you scare the hell out of every time you come to talk to me," She mumbled tiredly. The hot Jogger God smiled wistfully.

"If that's what you'd like to believe, that's fine with me," He said.

"So what's wrong with the universe now?" Joan asked. "And I am not late, I'm totally on time."

"For now you are, but you're slowing down to talk to me," He said, jogging more in place to keep himself next to Joan who seemed like she was forcing herself to go each step further. "You're going to want to get some vitamin C, orange juice even, to keep your immune system up, Joan. We can't have you getting sick now."

Joan stopped, trying to grasp this situation. "Are you seriously telling me to take vitamins as an assignment?"

Jogger God laughed. "I just don't want you getting sick. I care, Joan, is that so bad?"

"Oh-ho, no, no, no, no, it is never just about caring whether I'm sick or not," Joan stated. Jogger God stopped and lifted his foot up to a bench before leaning down to tie the shoe. He cast a sideways glance to Joan.

"A simple cold can turn into pneumonia or even bronchitis before you know it," He shrugged. "I doubt you'd want that for the upcoming school break when you'll be returning home…"

"Well no I don't want to be sick at home…" Joan narrowed her eyes at God. "Wait a minute, I'm going to get pneumonia?"

Jogger God laughed. "Not if you take care of yourself." He stepped closer to her. "You're going to need to keep your strength up Joan. Things are going to start getting dangerous. In fact, I suggest you take Professor Brink's invitation," He winked before he turned to jog off.

"Wait! Hey! You can't just leave me after telling me something like that!" She called out to him, causing people to stare at her. _Story of my life,_ she thought. Jogger God offered Joan a backward wave and picked up his pace. Joan sighed and picked up her own pace, heading for class.

"Just in time, Miss Girardi," Professor Brink said as she and Joan arrived at the door of the classroom at the same time. Joan smiled and shrugged.

"I have a way with timing," She said sarcastically. Professor Brink chuckled as she followed Joan in. Joan headed for her seat in the second row, next to Hayley.

"You're a comedian, that's good. It'll get you through a lot of things in life," Professor Brink said to Joan before she called the class to order.

"Hey," Hayley whispered to her as class started. "What do you think it would take to be her age and have a figure like that still?" Hayley asked, noting Professor Brink's athletically toned figure as she started writing on the board and talking. Joan was taken back momentarily to her AP science classes. Grace would always ask random questions when class had just started. Of course, those had never been questions about how to stay fit. Joan smiled slightly before being brought back to reality as Professor Brink was passing out handouts.

"A well structured diet, exercise, and my kickboxing class ladies," She said with a knowing smile as she passed them. "You should join, check it out on the sign-up board in the gym. Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Now, can we get back to class?"

Hayley offered a nod as she blushed. Joan nodded as well. She felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. If God wanted her to learn to fight, did that mean that something more dangerous than everything she's already faced is coming for her? Joan shuddered, closing her eyes for a moment.

Hayley noticed the color drain from Joan's face and grew concerned. She scribbled a note in the side space of her notebook and moved it so Joan could see. Joan glanced at it and then at Hayley, to see a worried look on her face. Leaving one hand on her stomach in a useless attempt to quell her nausea, she wrote next to Hayley's note: 'I'm fine…thank you," and nodded. Hayley didn't really believe her but decided against inquiring further.

* * *

"Grace! You're back!" Danica screamed excitedly when she'd entered the diner with her mother and Rush closed behind. Izzy cast a knowing glance at Grace and Luke who both gave a nod, to signify that they would keep and eye on both Danica and Rush as she went in the back to talk to JB. Grace and Luke were just starting in on their burgers and fries. Rush climbed up on Luke's side of the booth and started stealing fries. Danica dove into Grace's side and hugged her. 

"Whoa! Hey, kid," Grace said, granting the girl a hug back. "How was your Thanksgiving?"

Danica's eyes lit up. "Mommy almost had the baby!" She cheered. Grace's eyebrows arched into her head.

"Almost?" She asked, wondering how someone could almost give birth but not quite. Danica nodded furiously.

"Yeah! She and Daddy were finishing dinner and she dropped the bowl of corn and grabbed her stomach," Danica started to explain.

"We got to ride in a cop car with the sirens on to the hospital!" Rush cheered with a mouthful of fries.

"Yeah! And the lights were on too!" Danica joined in. "And then we were there for a long time and Junior remembered that there was still biscuits and stuffing in the oven and he called Avery to go to the house and she got there just in time, 'cause the oven was almost completely on fire!"

Grace's eyes widened. She would have asked if Avery was okay, but she had already seen Avery and besides some bandaging wrapped around her right forearm, Avery was still at work and looked okay.

"Is your house okay?" She asked Danica instead. Danica nodded.

"We have to get a new oven, which mommy's happy about. And Avery had to get her arm wrapped up. But we got to eat the rest of our dinner and even extra dessert because of everything that happened!" Danica cheered.

"And your mom and the baby are okay too?" Grace asked. Danica nodded eagerly.

"They said it was a fake alarm and that everything's okay. Then they sent us home," She told Grace. Grace nodded as Danica started in on her fries. She looked at Luke who was in a conversation with Rush about Star Wars. When she looked up, she saw someone in the window of the diner, staring back at her. Grace narrowed her eyes. He simply smiled and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Here, let me get out for a minute okay?" Grace waited for Danica to move and climbed out. Danica climbed right back in.

"What's up?" Luke asked, concerned at the look on Grace's face.

"I'll be back in a minute," Grace said, heading for the door. She walked outside and around the corner to where the man had gone. He was now at the other corner reading a tabloid at the newspaper stand. "Collier, haven't we fully discussed the stalker bit yet?"

Collier simply smiled at her. "You're lucky I'm such an understanding person, Grace, or I'd probably have already lost my temperament with you permanently," He put the tabloid back on the rack and bought a candy bar.

"Oh. Please, do tell what button I have to push to get that reaction so I can get rid of you," she crossed her arms.

"You know at first, I was tempted to grant your request and leave you alone because basically, you're rude. Of course I know there's probably a reason for your tough woman façade but frankly I don't care to know what it is," He shrugged, taking a bite out of his Milky Way bar and chewing.

"Then why are you still following me?" Grace asked. "Don't tell me," She held her hand up sarcastically like she was about to read his mind. "You forgot to take notes and you want to borrow mine? No, that's not it…"

"Cute. Really," Collier said just as dryly. "You have quite a way with quick witted comebacks. It's not surprising, really." He took another bite and held it out to her. "Want some?"

"No. Answer my question," Grace ordered. Collier stood up straight and saluted.

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am!" He said loudly. Grace's fists balled as she still kept her arms crossed.

"You're about 2 seconds away from a broken nose," She warned. Collier smiled.

"There's the sunny disposition I love about you," He retorted. Grace clenched her jaw. "Maybe it's these lovely little banter chats we have every other day, or maybe it's the way that you force feed Henley and Tex their own testicles every class period. Perhaps it could even be that I know what you're in for, and though deep down you know the storm's coming, you're positive you'd battened down all the hatches and you're going to make it out with a few scrapes and bruises that's keeping me around." Collier shrugged. "I think it could even be that I'm so fascinated by your raging, thriving, growing, radiating fortitude, that I want to stick around and see what becomes of you and your crew in the end."

Grace felt her spine squirm and she stifled a shudder. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously and studied Collier, lost for what he was talking about, but feeling that something important was taking place between them.

"You see! That's it right there!" He almost jumped up and down as he laughed.

"What drugs are you-,"

"You know something's going down, Grace, as we speak," Collier said, his smile fading. "You know it and you know what else? You haven't even begun to unlock and grasp your ability to tap into that." He almost laughed excitedly again. Grace looked utterly perplexed. She buried the fear that was creeping up in her at the way Collier was talking, refusing to let it show through in her facial expressions. Collier eyed her for a moment and then leaned closer.

"You don't honestly think, Grace…that you are helpless in this battle?" Collier didn't seem to Grace at least, to grasp that she wasn't understanding what he was talking about.

"Collier-,"

"Stop acting like you don't know what I'm talking about," Collier demanded. "God may speak to Joan and Ryan Hunter, but do you really, in that sharp, diligent, ever alert brain of yours, honestly think that he wouldn't equip you…Luke, even Adam with the abilities to rise above?"

Grace's eyes expanded until it looked to collier like there was only pupil and whites left. He gave her a half grin. How in the _hell_ did Collier know this much? What the hell is going on. She was about to vocalize this question when Collier interrupted her.

"Think about it Grace. Logic will help you at some point," He smiled. "It's time now to figure out what your part in all of this is because if you don't, you're going to suffer great loss."

"Just me?" Grace pondered. Collier shook his head.

"For now, I was sent to you specifically yes. The others are closer on the edge of figuring out their roles than you are." He told her. Grace shook her head.

"I must be crazy. This is insane," She shook her head. Collier almost laughed.

"That's usually the response we get," He nodded. Grace studied him warily for a minute.

"So, what are you then? Like a messed up Angel, who got stuck perpetually going to college or something?" Grace asked, still only half believing this was happening. Collier snickered.

"Well…Angel, divine messenger, cherub, celestial being, seraph, spirit, guardian, etc, etc." Collier listed off synonyms. Grace put her hands to the side of her head for a minute.

"Do you really expect me to believe this acid trip you're on?" She asked him, looking at him. Collier shrugged.

"It's not up to me to make you _believe_ the message, just to deliver it." He explained.

"And what exactly was your message?" Grace asked. Collier stepped closer.

"Stop squandering your potential. Stop underachieving." He said. He grinned when this caught Grace's attention. It had been one of the first things Joan had told her that had gotten her to ease up on the excessive anti-handing homework in. Grace shook her head as collier continued. "Now, that I have your attention listen up. I don't like to repeat myself. It's not my style." He straightened his collar dramatically. Grace stood there impatiently. "God did not bestow upon Ryan anything that was not bestowed upon you, or even any other being on this planet. The simple fact is that some people tune into it better than others. You, Adam, Luke, all three of you are closer than most to this fact because you are conscious of the possibilities thanks to Joan." He looked at Grace to see if she grasped this concept. Grace, seeming to figure this out, nodded. "I'm here, to assure that you get the message, and support you need to take the leap that's coming in the near future."

"What leap?" Grace asked.

"The leap of faith, of course," He winked at her. Looking past Grace, Collier saw Luke coming out of the diner's door. "That's all for now. I'll see you in class."

"You can't just leave now!" Grace whispered harshly as she turned to see Luke heading for her. She turned back around but Collier was gone.

"Hey, are you okay?" Luke asked after seeing that Grace was visibly distraught. Grace looked around again a few times, crossing her arms and rubbing her arms to warm up. She nodded eventually.

"Yeah. I was just, talking to a classmate I saw out here," She assured. Luke nodded as if accepting this.

"Come on, it's freezing out here," He turned to lead her back inside. He cleared their plates and headed back to work. Grace sat down next to Danica.

"Grace are you all right?" Isabel asked when she sat down, still staring out at the window as if Collier would return. Grace snapped out of her trance and rubbed her hands together.

"Oh, yeah. I'm good, just cold," She assured. "So, I hear you had a Thanksgiving scare?" She quickly shifted the focus of the conversation, glad she convinced them that her slightly trembling was due to the coldness that she could now feel in her bones.

* * *

"Will Girardi?" Will answered the phone in his office. It was nearly 6 and he was just about to leave his office when the phone had started ringing. He had answered it, assuming it was Helen to ask him when he would be home. He wasn't expecting the person on the other end of the line. 

"Detective, this is Chief Oswald. We met over the summer, the Hunter case," Oswald reminded Will. Will nodded to himself.

"Yes, sir, I remember," Will said, wishing the man would just tell him what the big deal was.

"Yes. I don't know if you've seen the news today yet," Oswald began.

"No, I haven't gotten home just yet," Will explained.

"Right. Okay." Oswald coughed.

"No disrespect intended, sir, but can you tell me what this is about? My wife is waiting for me and I'm already a half hour late-,"

"Ryan Hunter escaped, Girardi," Oswald cut Will off. Will felt himself sink into his desk chair. Rage, some fear, and astonishment coursed through him. He ran his hand through his hair. The possibilities of what Ryan could do outside of prison ran rampant through his mind.

"How…did this happen?" Will asked, trying not to go through the phone and strangle Oswald.

"He was on work detail just off the highway," Oswald explained. "He switched clothes with an officer and took off before anyone could miss him."

"An officer is involved in this?" Will asked incredulously.

"He says he doesn't know what came over him. He just remembered bringing Hunter back to the bus for getting in a fight, and the next thing he remembers is sitting on a seat in the bus with a jumpsuit on and his ankle cuffed to the rail," Oswald said. Will took a deep breath.

"I want that officer put in lock down until I get a detective down there to question him, do you understand?" Will asked. Oswald huffed for a moment.

"Fine." Oswald said. "We've set up blockades, put out a nationwide APB and have his picture up on every news broadcast in the country."

"You don't know this guy, _chief_." Will said angrily. "You're not going to catch him that easily, not a second time. He knows you're looking for him. Expect him to change his hair color, even eye color, anything to set him apart from the pictures and descriptions you're distributing. I want hourly updates directly from you do you get me?" Will ordered. Oswald agreed and Will slammed the phone down angrily. He quickly called Helen and told her to head over to Kevin and Lily's and he would pick her up when he was finished. Helen hadn't asked any questions, she just agreed.

After hanging up, Will walked into the squad room. "All right listen up! We have a situation we need to take care of. I want it taken care of now," Will began shouting out orders.

* * *

"Hey, you've got a letter," Johana said when Joan entered her dorm. It was her first day at Professor Brink's kickboxing class, which had been from 6 am until 7 am. This fact had given Joan an hour to get back to her dorm, shower and change, and then get to class, followed by work, then her night class. It was 7:30pm by the time she'd walked back into the dorm. Colby was already gone, at a party or hooking up with Cody no doubt. Johana was at her desk with her reading glasses on, doing a paper. 

"Uh…thanks?" Joan asked. "Since when does the mail come to our rooms?"

"It doesn't. Some weirdo slid it under the door. He looked crazy when I looked through the peephole so I pretended no one was here and her slid it under the door," Johana turned in her chair to see if Joan would tell her what the letter was or if she knew the weird man that had been at the door.

Joan looked at the envelope. The return address was their dorm address. There were many postage marks including a "Address not valid, return to sender," stamp. Joan looked at whom the envelope was addressed to. It simply read "123 Headedur Way." Joan furrowed her brow. Who would be that lame? She carefully opened the envelope and pulled the letter out. She unfolded it and began to read.

_Dear Jeanne d'Arc,_

_How interesting it is to think of you that way. It seems we've come so far from where we were. You've gone and crossed the country. I hope that wasn't to escape from me? I was hoping that with your move the G-O-D would have abandoned all hope and move on to a more reliable, faithful slave. Once day you'll understand why I stopped listening to him. You will too. When it's time. I'll make sure of that. So you think you have an army do you? Don't fool yourself. You don't. You have an artist who can weld metal to look like a twisted silver turd, an anarchist who's claiming to be falling in line so that she can change things in the end (what a joke!), an younger brother who, in al likelihood, will use is scientific powers to create the world's next Atomic bomb equivalent (maybe he'll wipe out the whole world instead of just some cities in Japan though), a nerd gone wild with a new outlook on life that's going to take her far from the likes of you, and a genius with a curly afro whom no one has heard of or seen since graduation. You have an army? HA! You have nothing. But that's just as well. It will make the transition easier. You'll be more equipped to understand why you're listening to a fraud. Things can be so much easier for you. You just have to open up to it, Joan. Do you really want to be a martyr for a cause that's not your own? _

_Ah well, it is your "choice" after all. Isn't that what he tells you? It's not true. Think about it. I'm on the move so this must end here. Give Adam a hello for me, tell him I'm sorry he missed my explosive show at the art gallery. I'll let you know that I won't miss next time so say goodbye now. I must be going now, actually. A visit with my dear little sister awaits me. _

_See you soon,_

_R.H._

"Joan?" Johana crossed the room and waved her hand in front of Joan's face. Joan shook her head, snapping out of a trance. Her eyes were wide and tears were in them. She noticed her hands were trembling.

"Wha? What?" She asked looking at Johana, looking dazed.

"Bad news?" Johana asked. Joan looked at Johana and then at the letter.

"E-Excuse me. I'll be back," Joan didn't give Johana a chance to respond. She jumped to her feet and ran out the door, heading for Adam's room where she pounded on the door furiously until he answered, confused.

"Jane?" Adam asked, almost not recognizing her from her liquid eyes and red face. She looked like she was about to collapse. She was shaking and breathing hard. She had a piece of paper gripped tightly in her hand and she couldn't force any words out. "Come in here," He moved aside and put his arm around her to help her through the door and to a chair. Crouching down in front of her, he brushed her hair out of her face and wiped at her tears. "What's going on?"

Joan looked at him. The fear in her eyes made Adam squirm. He'd never seen her this shaken up, and after all they'd been through, that was saying something.

"Jane, I can't do anything if you don't let me know what's going on," Adam said desperate to find away to calm her. With a quaking arm she held the letter out to him. Adam took it. "What's this?" He asked. His eyes began to read the letter.

* * *

"Can I help you?" An old woman probably about the age of 80 answered the door when he'd knocked. Her gray hair was in curlers. Her face and body were plump from years of living on a farm and cooking for probably tons of kids. He looked passed her into the house to see if anyone else was there. 

"Yes, Ma'am, may I come in and use your phone?" He asked. She looked wary of his wounded appearance. However, he was wearing a police uniform so it must be okay to let him in. He smiled slightly, seeing her hesitation. "I was in a bit of a scuffle back, and the perpetrator made off with my radio and my cruiser. I just need to call in and report it, ma'am."

"Oh, please, come in. I'll find a first-aid kit," she moved aside and let him step through the threshold. "What did you say your name was?" She asked as she used two hands to shut the door. He glanced quickly at the nametag on his chest and smiled at her glad she didn't notice.

"Officer Clausen." He said. "Where's your phone?" He asked her.

"Right this way," She waved him to follow her. Once at the phone in her kitchen, she began to pour him some water and look for a first-aid kit that she kept in the cabinet with the glasses. He pretended he was dialing and talking into the phone.

"Yes, this is officer Clausen calling from Mooreland Ave, cross street Evergreen Terrace." He said as he quietly walked up behind the old woman. She didn't even get a chance to look up or scream before he reached up and twisted her head. A slight gasp escaped before he let go and she slid down to the floor in a heap. He looked down at her. "I'm truly sorry for including you in this…" He said, looking at her. "But there are bigger things going on here."

Moving through the house, Ryan cleaned himself off and disinfected his scrapes and cuts. He took the peroxide he found and managed to give his short hair a new color. He inspected this new look in the mirror. After decided it was good enough, he took the police officer, who's clothes he was wearing, sunglasses and put them on. Then he found the keys to the woman's beat up truck, which had been sitting in the driveway. He knew this woman couldn't drive such a vehicle at her age, so hopefully her husband hadn't died too long ago and the truck was still usable. Finally he rummaged for food, and money before checking to make sure no one was outside when he made his way to the truck and climbed in. He placed the key into the ignition, took a deep breath and turned it.

The truck roared to life and he laughed maniacally. "Yes!" He cheered to himself, slipping it into reverse and noticing that it had a full tank of gas. Opening the glove compartment as he pulled out he found, to his luck, a map. Putting it on the steering wheel, he began to map out his route using back roads. He grinned.

"Try and stop me now you bastard," He laughed to himself as he took a right. "Let's start with the little fish and work our way up…Arcadia, here I come."

* * *

"Hello?" Grace's tired voice rang through the phone to whoever was on the other line calling her at; she checked the clock, 2 am. She rubbed her face and sat up, shivering. She wrapped her blanket around her and tried to be quiet so that she didn't wake Missy up. She had only fallen asleep 20 minutes ago. This always happened to her on days when she and Luke were just too busy to be around each other. They had too much due to put it off by getting distracting by each other. Of course it would happen that someone would call her just as she was falling deep into sleep. 

"Grace, it's Adam," Adam's voice echoed through Grace's heavy head and it took a few seconds for her to register this.

"Adam?" She whispered harshly. "Hello…time zones, dude. It might be early there but it's late as hell here." She complained.

"Grace, you have to wake yourself up and listen to me," Adam said, ignoring her complaint. The urgency in his voice alarmed Grace. Adam didn't get that spooked easily anymore. Grace sniffed in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh, scratching her head before running her hands through her messed hair. She stood up and stretched.

"What's the deal, Rove?" She asked, sounding more awake now.

"Ryan's on his way for you," Adam said bluntly. Grace nearly dropped the phone. Her brain's logic kicked in.

"Rove, tell Joan that the Koala bears in hats is a funnier nightmare to have," Grace said. "Hunter's in jail. He's not coming anywhere."

"You haven't watched TV either. Grace he's not in jail. He escaped during a work detail just off the highway in Maryland." Adam explained. "Joan just got a letter today. You have to go to Luke and get to a police station or something. I don't know."

"How the…why didn't Mr. Girardi call us?" She asked Adam.

"I don't know, we can't get a hold of him," Adam replied. "Grace stop talking to me. He's been out since yesterday around noon. Hang up and call Luke. Get a cab to him and go. Call us when you get to the police station."

Grace was about to answer when there was a hard knock on the door. Missy stirred but didn't quite wake up. Grace almost screamed at the sudden noise, but stopped herself, on emitting a slight gasp.

"Grace? What's wrong?" Adam asked, sounding terrified.

"I think he's here…" Grace whispered. Adam barely heard her. He heard a loud banging as the person knocked on the door again. Missy woke up this time. Her eyes focused and she saw Grace in the dim moonlight. Grace motioned for Missy to be quiet. Missy nodded. Slowly, she made her way over to the peephole. Just was she looked in it a shadow fly by and she couldn't see anyone in the hallway. Swallowing hard, she leaned her forehead against the door. _This is not happening,_ she thought to herself.

"Grace?" Adam asked. "Grace?"

"I think he's gone-," Grace's sentence was cut off by another knock on the door. She lifted her head and looked out the peephole, nearly jumping out of her skin when she saw two campus security guards standing there.

"Miss Polk, we're here to escort you to the precinct," One of them said as the other knocked.

"Adam, I'll call you in a bit," She promised.

"Okay," Adam agreed when they both hung up. Grace turned the light on as Missy was just climbing down. Grace unlocked the door and opened it. The two guards looked at her.

"Are you Grace Polk?" The female officer-Hinson-asked. Grace nodded. "If you could please get changed, a Detective Will Girardi sent us to get you and bring you down to the station.

"What about Luke?" She asked, hoping they could tell her something.

"We don't know anything about a Luke," The other officer-Krantz-said. Grace nodded.

"What's going on?" Missy asked. Grace looked at the officers and then at Missy and back.

"Can my roommate come with me?" She asked the officers. They looked at each other, shrugged and then nodded. Grace's shoulder slumped slightly, relieved. At least if Ryan was coming after her, he wouldn't find Missy and do anything to her if she was with Grace.

"Why are we going to the police station?" Missy asked as she and Grace threw sweat clothes over their pajamas and tied boots to their feet. Each packed a messenger bag full of their essential belongings. They pulled their jackets on and locked the door before following the guards out to their SUV.

"I'll explain on the way…" Grace told her. Missy nodded and climbed in the back next to Grace who was dialing Luke's number on her cell phone.

* * *

"Are you kidding me?" Grace yelled nearly three hours later. They were in an interrogation room, Luke, Grace and Missy, with two detectives who had been briefed on the situation by Will. "He _killed_ me and he gets to roam free searching for me and I have to stay in a shabby precinct like a criminal?" 

Missy stared between Luke and Grace as Grace posed this question. Luke, she noticed, cringed at the word 'killed.'

"Miss Polk-," One of the detectives tried to interrupt her.

"I'm sorry…did you say killed?" Missy interjected.

"Uh, 4 minutes…long story…has to do with an ocean…" Grace said distracted. "I have class in a few hours!" She yelled at the detectives.

"Grace…" Luke said quietly. Grace looked at him.

"I can't stay cooped up here like this," She said. "He's winning because now we're the caged ones! He's a manipulative, scuzz ball and he will get past the officers in here and we are sitting ducks!" Grace paced as she said this.

"Miss Polk-," the detective tried again.

"Don't you 'Miss Polk' me!" Grace demanded.

"Grace!" Luke stood up and stopped her from pacing. Grace looked at him. "We're going to be fine," He said firmly. "Just…sit down. I'm sure my dad will call soon."

"No I won't. Sorry kids, I would've been here sooner but my plane was late. Are you all okay?" Will entered the room speaking. The two detectives leapt to their feet. Will shook Luke's hand and Luke nodded. Will then looked at Grace. He put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you all right?" He asked her. Grace nodded. Will noticed Missy. "What about you?" He asked. Missy shrugged.

"I'm not really sure what's going on, but I'm all right," She answered.

"Okay." Will nodded. He looked at the detectives. "Could you give me some time alone with them?" He asked. The disgruntled detectives left the room and Will shut the door behind him.

"Dad what's going on?" Luke asked. Will held his hands up as if to calm Luke and the others down.

"I'm going to explain everything I know right now, okay?" Will pointed to a chair. "Why don't we all sit down and we'll get down to business?"

Despite the fact that none of them wished to sit, they all found themselves seated around the interrogation table with various soda cans, coffee cups and donuts in front of them as Will began to explain everything that had and was going on.

* * *

"Are you all right, Helen?" Lily asked as she joined Helen in the living room. Helen was watching the news. It 6am. Helen had heard Kevin wake up and start a shower. Lily was in the process of feeding Caleb his bottle as she sat down on the couch next to Helen. Helen looked at Lily and her grandson and offered a small smile. 

"I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep any longer," She told Lily.

"How is everything going with this?" She asked, indicating the report they were doing on Ryan Hunter on the news. Helen sighed.

"Will's with the kids right now. So far Ryan hasn't made an appearance up there." She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Well, I've got a light day today," Lily assured. "Just some errands to run. You're welcome to come with me if you want to keep yourself busy?"

Helen smiled at Caleb, whose eyes were roaming all around trying to keep his attention on his bottle but find the other person talking at the same time. She nodded. "Sure. I think I'd like that."

"Good." Lily nodded.

"I think I'll go and call Joan before I get ready for the day," Helen excused herself.

"Okay, I'll be down here if you need anything," Lily told her. Helen nodded as she headed up to the guest room.

* * *

"Well, well," Ryan smiled through his sunglasses at the blonde haired woman sitting at the end of the bar a stool away from him. He looked starkly different then the last time she'd seen him, and with her beer goggles on she couldn't quite place who the man was. He had bright blond hair that was a few inches long and spiked about in a mess. The roots at the bottom of his hair by his scalp were brown. His eyebrows were as bright as his hair though and she could tell he hadn't shaved in a few days. "I'm not surprised to find you in here so early in the day, Sarah. Actually, I saw you from across the street, waiting for them to open," He smiled at her. 

Sarah looked up. Her eyes squinted at him. Ryan could see she was having trouble placing who he was. He smiled at her.

"Come on, you don't remember me?" He asked. Sarah wearily shook her head. He could tell she'd downed at least a bottle of something before she'd even gotten here. He remnants of a basket of wings sat to her right and she had just finished drinking what was in her cup when she reached a shaky hand towards the half empty bottle of Southern Comfort that as just in front of her glass. Ryan reached out and grabbed it. "Here let me pour that for you," He smiled. "I can't believe you don't remember me," He said warmly. "I don't think I know you," Sarah said, her speech slurred.

"Oh, sure you do!" Ryan said with a wave of his hand.

"You know, I really don't know you," Sarah's slurring had increased so dramatically over the course of her and Ryan's hour-long conversation that he had offered, politely, to bring her home. Sarah had been too drunk to protest and the bartender thought nothing of this man helping this woman out of the bar. In fact he saw this scene quite often in the bar.

"Of course you do," He smiled warmly. "Come on this is my truck here," Ryan pointed. After he helped Sarah in, he climbed into the driver side and turned the truck on. Sarah hiccupped. She looked at Ryan again. He still had his dark sunglasses on, shielding his eyes completely. She knew much about him was familiar but she couldn't get her mind to focus enough to figure out what it was.

"No…I can't place you. Why don't you just tell me?" Sarah suggested with a laugh, putting her head back on the bench seat.

"It's amazing isn't it…" He glanced at her as he drove. Pulling his glasses down to the bottom of his nose. "Animals can detect their children just by smelling them."  
Sarah was staring at him now, a little confused. "What I'm saying is, most mothers," He glanced at her again. "They recognize their children by sight, and by sound." He smiled brightly at her. Sarah's eyes widened in realization as Ryan began to drive again. "That's it, Sarah! Now you're getting it!" He laughed. "And here I thought you'd completely forgotten about me ma!"

"What do you want with me?" Sarah asked him, only vaguely aware of what was going on. She felt everything spinning. The movement of the car made her nauseous. She kept shaking her head and trying to clear the cobwebs. She couldn't make out a clear shape. She couldn't even get any more words out.

"Do you feel that spinning?" Ryan asked Sarah with a maniacal chortle. "Yeah. You can't quite figure out just why, when you can normally drink this much and still not get the dizzies, or that cramping in your stomach, no?" He asked. "Well then let me tell you what's going on in your body right now. When you wake up, _mom_, you will no doubt start spouting off about mumbled bullshit about 'seeing God' and 'out of body experiences.'" He laughed. "Just enough to have you committed. That is, if you survive with your brain intact. You see, your last three glasses were not just filled with your drug of choice. Oh no. I added my own little cocktail for you. Tasteless, odorless, and lethal. You'll look like Linda Blair, hallucinating, horny, drugged and drunk out of your mind, ha!" He laughed at her. "I mean, why not? I figure your liver's already pickled anyhow, right? All those years of drinking, trying to forget about ME!" He screamed in her face, startling her in her dazed state.

"How much time you got left anyhow? I know you know. Have you told that dear little sister of mine? Hmm? Probably not." He laughed again. "Not that she'd even care after all you've done. Ha, ha, ha, look where you've gotten yourself." He laughed like a little kid this time, getting caught in the moment. "Now, your husband, he's not home right now. So you know what we're going to do? We're going to bring you home, and set you up to be found. Maybe…someone'll get to you in time." He laughed again as Sarah began to slump against the seat involuntarily. "Yeah, see, they're all occupied. Will Girardi, you know him? He's up in Cambridge right now. He thinks I'm going after your daughter-,"

"No," Sarah said forcefully. Ryan laughed. It seemed the only part of this entire monologue was that Ryan could possibly go after Grace. He laughed harder.

"Oh, you don't want me to go after little Gracie? Hmmm, is that it?" He snickered. "You spend mostly her whole life hiding from her and now, _now, _you want to protect her, is that it?"

"Leave…" Sarah mumbled. "Gracie…"

"Leave Gracie? Leave Gracie to what? Drink like you? Hmmm?" Ryan asked. Sarah offered a weak nod. Ryan laughed. "You want to know what else? You may be the first one I get to, but you will not be the last. I'll lead them left and head right. By the time the pigs figure it out, I'll be done and gone," He parked the truck out front of Sarah's house. He walked around to her side and helped her out, being sure to make it look like he was helping Sarah walk. He was sure that any neighbors that saw this would be used to the sight. Just as easily as he slipped into the house, he slipped out and was gone without anyone, that he knew of, walking by to spot him going in or going out.

As he got back in the truck he flipped the radio on and put his sunglasses back on.

"Now this is a song!" He proclaimed with the windows down despite the cold. The sleeves of his blue flannel shirt were rolled up and he looked like he'd just gotten off a farm. He turned up the song and sang along at the top of his lungs as he went for his next stop. "The devil inside, the devil inside, every single one of us has the devil inside! Here come the world, with the look in its eye! Future uncertain but certainly slight…look at the faces, listen to bells! It's hard to believe, we need a place like hellllll…wooooohoooooo! Place called hell…" He cheered, honking at some girls who had noticed him at a red light. He winked at them shaped his hand in the form of a gun as he did so. Then he smiled warmly at them as the waved and he turned the corner. "Oh, life is good, ha, ha, ha." Ryan said to himself as he drove on, still laughing every now and then.

**

* * *

A/N: **Well now…that was certainly a long chapter wasn't it? Well what did you think? Did it suck? Did it rock your world? Was it what you expected? Tell me! Chapter title from INXS "Devil Inside."

**Review Responses:** Here we go: **Kool-Wolf – **Dude, whoever said I didn't hate you? Hey, if you got at least one that likes you! I only have one sibling. Of course, I can't imagine having as many siblings as you, my antifriend. I'm NOT GOING TO STOP WRITING TO EVERYONE, YOU PUNK! I'm taking up room at the bottom, does that make you feel better? (I hope not cause I hate you!) How can I just stop writing? It's easy…my fingers stop hitting the keys and go occupy my time. Here's your update, punk! **Audrey – **Hey sista, what's shakin? You like the wedding couple stuff? I did too, but I'm biased. I figured if they were spending that much time together, hey, natural progression right? I feel the addiction thing. Is it sad that I'm addicted to updating this story? **Payton – **Hello again! How are you? I hope you liked this chapter as much as the last one despite less G/L scene-age. ) **Sam – **Oh yes…morning. ) Yeah, Brandon's family's gonna get worse, just you wait. Glad you liked the G/H interaction. The flashback was a little longer then I meant but I think it needed to be. Glad you liked it. Mrs. P…yeah…I made her pretty awful huh? Aha, Grace and Caleb, the element of surprise! Woohoo. Babies are great dude…unless you're squeamish with like…bodily fluids? I love kids though, babies included. ) Grace is definitely part of their family, wouldn't you be with one of them being your best friend and the other your boyfriend? Hey, Luke should get the funny lines too right? I laughed at myself for that one actually. And hey! Mrs. G is totally in the know about these situations, don't you think? P.S. – just in case I wrote it wrong early this morning when I couldn't sleep and as typing, it was my cousin's brother in law that passed away. My cousin's husband is taking hard though, considering they had their baby three days later. Can you imagine having to be so happy at the same time that you're totally sad? That's depressing though, so, moving on. How was this chapter? **Tiffany – **Hey it was either Breakfast at Tiffany's or I Think We're Alone Now, sooo! Dude, I should so give you the email! AHHHH! Thanks for the tip off! I'm waiting on pins and needles! Have fun on your vacation (in advance)! I've never been to Myrtle Beach let me know how it is! (Where are you originally from? Have I asked that before?) What do you think of where I took the chapter? Are you nervous? Excited? Dude you're totally on my A list, just FYI. 20 chapters too short? With my long windedness? Are you serious? You're crazy!

**P.S. – **Thanks for the reviews. I told you the next update would be sooner then the last one. Tell me whatcha think!


	9. When Are You Coming Home?

**Holds Me Together  
Rating:** T-M Just in case  
**Disclaimer:** You know the drill.  
**A/N:** I love you people! You make my day! Sorry for the proofreading as always. **FYI**: **My responses to reviews are going to be at the bottom of each chapter instead of the top, just so that everyone doesn't have to scroll to get to the story. Don't' feel unloved, it's not like I'm going to ignore the reviews! I swear! **Read on with yo bad self, now!

**

* * *

Chapter 9 – When Are You Coming Home?**

"We should get back to one of the dorms," Luke suggested. It was nearly 3 am and they were the only customers currently in JB's. Outside, two detectives sat in two unmarked cars, keeping watch for anyone remotely matching Ryan Hunter's description. They had been ordered to keep watch over Luke and Grace until Hunter was found. Sometimes around 8 am, Grace and Luke managed to get to their classes. Since then they had tried to go about their normal activities. Grace showed up at JB's around 7:30 for dinner. Since then she'd been doing work, and when Luke got off of work and clocked out, they'd talked while studying and doing homework.

Now Luke was sitting lengthwise in his side of their booth with his back against the wall and his head hung back. Grace was still wide awake, though she looked stressed and like she was starting to get tired. She was determined to go on with her daily routine regardless of if Ryan was coming after her or not. _You will not will,_ she had told herself repeatedly throughout the day. She looked at Luke, with his head leaned back and his eyes closed and sighed.

"You can go if you want. I'm not tired," She told him.

"You know I'm not going anywhere without you," Luke said. Grace sighed. She rested her elbows on the table and her head into her hands.

"I'll just keep you awake, brain," She told him.

"I don't care," Luke shrugged. He sat up tiredly and watched her. Lazily she let her arms stretch out on the table, looking around at her open books. The words were starting to blur, since she hadn't slept in nearly two days. Luke reached out and placed his hands over hers. He watch Grace stare at his hands and knew she was contemplating whether or not she wanted to pull her hands away and retreat back into herself. "Come on…we'll watch crappy cartoons, or reruns of the X-Files on TNT. They always make you tired," He grinned. Grace almost snickered.

"Who wouldn't fall asleep with a theme song like theirs?" She asked. Luke cracked a smile and gathered up her books and his own. He slung both of their bags over his shoulder and pulled an arm around her as they left. "Wait, come this way," Grace said, leading Luke across the street to one of the unmarked cars.

"What are we doing?" Luke asked. Grace knocked on the detective's window. When he rolled it down she smirked at him.

"Since you're supposed to follow us anyway, why don't you give us a ride to his dorm?" Grace suggested. The detective nodded and told them to get in.

"Wow, expertly done," Luke said once they'd been dropped off and he and Grace were heading into his dormitory. Grace shrugged.

"No big thing," She said. When they entered the dorm, they noticed Sweet Lou was missing. Luke looked at the dry erase board hanging on the wall near his desk.

"He's out with Glynis," Luke said, stretching after setting their stuff down. Grace looked at him as he put his arms over his head and stretched his back. He'd taken his jacket off, and his long john shirt rode up revealing the beginnings of a very toned abdomen. She tried to remember if she'd known that Luke was working on toning himself up, but her thoughts got lost somewhere between that and the little tuft of hair that was leading into his jeans. Moments later, as if just registering what he'd said, she shook her head.

"He's out with Glynis this late?" She asked, impressed. Luke nodded.

"Same thing last night. He came back in the morning to crash," Luke said. He was busying himself in undressing. Grace just sat on his bed, not wanting to move. Her mind was starting to shut down from the desperate need of sleep.

She was vaguely aware of Luke speaking to her as he walked over towards the bed. She was caught up in a thought about when he's stopped wearing boxers most of the time and had gone to boxer briefs, claiming it was a happy medium between both boxers and briefs. She couldn't figure out why she was even thinking about this.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" She asked as he sat next to her.

"Are you okay?" Luke repeated himself.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine," She nodded, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"You've got messages," Luke pointed to Grace's cell phone on his desk. Grace sighed.

"I don't care," She said. Her phone had been on silent all day and she had no intention of checking it until tomorrow. She'd already spoken to Adam, Joan, Helen, and Will and she couldn't take her phone ringing so much at the moment.

"Okay," Luke reached out and pulled her too him. "It's okay to be freaked, you know," He said to her.

"I'm not," Grace said adamantly.

"Oh, I know," Luke agreed with her, "I just mean, if you were, it would be okay," He said. Grace just put her head down and let it rest against Luke's skin. She fought to keep her eyes open now. Luke didn't say anything else. He just sat there, running his hand slowly in circles across her back. Once her heard her steady breathing, her pulled her jacket off of her careful not to shake her and then pulled his covers back. He was careful not to wake her and he situated her on the bed. He untied her shoes and dropped them to the ground before maneuvering in next to her. Grace shivered slightly and turned until she was buried against Luke, never once waking. Luke watched her for a few minutes before brushing a kiss against her forehead and closing his own eyes. _Are you done torturing her yet?_ He wondered.

* * *

"Why do you think she isn't answering her phone?" Joan asked, worried. She was spending the night in Adam's room, spooked. Adam shrugged. 

"She probably got tired of the calls and concern. Remember when she tossed her phone in the refrigerator section?" He asked.

"That was a completely different reason," Joan reasoned. Adam pulled Joan closer as they lay under the covers.

"If something was wrong we would've heard about it already," Adam said. Both of them were speaking quietly, not wanting to wake Tristan up. Joan sighed.

"I'm sorry. I'm being paranoid." She said. Adam kissed the top of her head. "You know Luke hasn't answered either,"

"Jane," Adam said tiredly.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," Joan said innocently, nestling closer to Adam. Adam tightened his arms around her. Joan was breathing strangely. He noticed that she was holding her stomach as well.

"Are feeling all right?" He asked her. He felt her hold her breath for a moment. It alarmed him but he tried not to let her sense this.

"I'm all right," She assured. "Just paranoid as ever."

Adam decided to accept this. "Good night Jane," He kissed the top of her head again.

"Good night Adam," Joan said softly. It didn't take Adam long to fall asleep. Joan lay awake for a full hour longer, with her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and thinking through the past for days' events before finally succumbing to sleep.

* * *

"I just spoke with Luke," Will told Rabbi Polanski the next morning as he walked into the hospital waiting room that the Rabbi was sitting in. Rabbi Polanski stood. 

"Did he say whether or not Gracie was going to come home?" He asked. Will looked down.

"I…don't think that's going to happen," He cleared his throat. The Rabbi's shoulder slumped slightly.

"Oh," He said calmly, yet visibly devastated. Will felt guilt, but the guilt was mostly because he had no sympathy for the Rabbi beyond the extent that he knew this was karma from the summer. Well part of it was anyway. "That's okay. That's okay. I can't really blame her. I didn't know she was in the hospital until she'd been discharged. I guess she thinks we don't love her," He shrugged, walking up the hall towards Sarah's room and looking through the window.

"Rabbi…I need to take a statement from you," Will said cautiously. The Rabbi turned to Will.

"A statement from me? Why?" He asked Will.

"Well, since you found your wife," He cleared his throat again. "We need to know exact details about the situation, Rabbi. That means we need to take a statement of step by step how you came across your wife in this state," Will explained. The Rabbi nodded blankly.

"When?" He asked Will.

"As soon as possible," Will replied. The Rabbi looked at him.

"Okay," He nodded, following Will.

* * *

"We can get on a plane and go down there if you want too," Luke said after he'd talked to his father. Grace shook her head. Luke could see she was still trying to grasp this situation. 

"No. No. I'm not going down there," She stood from Luke's bed and started pacing, still shaking her head.

"Okay. We won't go then," Luke stood up to stop her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. Grace wiggled free from his grasp and started pacing again. "Grace…"

"Why should I care about them? About her? She didn't care about me?" Grace asked, not specifically to Luke. Luke had no answer for her. He just let her keep going. He saw her eyes filling and he wondered if she was alert enough to realize it. He felt his heart jumping at the pain she was going through. Currently she was putting herself through extra torment, torn between what to do.

"I didn't ask for this family you know," She said to Luke, getting angrier. "I didn't ask for them to do this to me. I didn't ask for my mother's past transgressions to come back and try to kill us all," She fumed. Luke nodded, swallowing hard. Grace's eyes were starting to turn red from the tears. She clenched and unclenched her fists as she paced. Her shoulders quivered but only slightly from adrenaline and anger. "Who is he going to go after next? Is he going to come for us? What about Girardi and Rove? What about the rest of your family? If he just going to wipe everyone out to hurt me?" She looked at Luke. "What about you? What if he comes after you?" She asked. Luke stepped forward and pulled her against him.

"Don't do this to yourself," He pleaded. "I'm not going anywhere, you know that."

"But what if he-,"

"No." Luke said firmly. Grace's tears were soaking into his shirt and she shook as she cried. Luke felt the pounding pulse of rage shooting through him. He remembered feeling this the first time Grace had cried to him, when he'd found out about her mother's problem. He wanted to stop Ryan. He wanted Grace to know that everything would be all right, even if he wasn't sure it would be. He swayed slightly with her as she held onto him, her arms tightly around his waist.

"We're going to be fine," He assured her. "Grace…seriously, if you want to go home for your parents…" He let the sentence trail off. Grace sucked in a deep breath of air, letting it out slowly and not moving to part from Luke. She shook her head.

"I don't know what I want," She said and Luke knew it embarrassed her to admit this. He put his chin down on top of her head.

"I'll call and book some tickets," He told her. "We'll figure everything out once we're there?" He suggested. Grace shook her head.

"I'll call my dad," She sniffled. "I'll see what the doctors are saying," She tried to steady her voice. Luke nodded and kept a hold of her hand as she pulled herself from him and grabbed the phone.

"Whatever you need," He told her as Grace began dialing.

* * *

"Will, hey Will, I got your tox screen back," A man said, walking into Will's office. 

"What's it say, Hank?" Will asked, after seeing the perplexed look on Hank's face.

"Well," Hank glanced at the sheet to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. "She's either a really lucky lady or one heavy party animal, sir." He almost laughed. His smile faded at the look on Will's face. He coughed. "Well, we found traces of Ketamine, Rohypnol, Vicodin, and two other barbiturate drugs. And get this, boss, her blood alcohol level was a .85," Hank said.

Will looked at Hank, disbelieving this. He took the folder and read it, shaking his head. Then his eyes caught something else. "What does that, right there mean?" Will asked, pointing to a hand written note. Hank looked at it.

"She's got advanced Cirrhosis," Hank explained, drinking some of the coffee in his hand. "How long does she have?" Will asked, still staring at the chart.

"Doc said the summer, maybe to next fall if she quits drinking," Hank almost snickered. "As if that would happen."

Will shot a look at Hank. Hank put his hands up in defense and excused himself from the room. Will rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to quell the beginnings of a headache. He sighed as he shut his office door and sat back down at his desk, tiredly rubbing his chin as he stared at the open file.

* * *

"Hey, you all right? You didn't speak nearly all of class," Dina said to Grace after class while Grace was packing her books into her bag. She glanced at the seat behind her and saw Collier sitting there with his hands behind his head. She looked at Dina and then back at her messenger back to finish packing. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," She lied. "I've just got a lot of stuff on my mind," she told Dina. Dina nodded.

"Oh I know! Especially now that Henley's moved the final up to next week," Dina sighed. "Well, I've got to go. See you later, Grace," She gave Grace's shoulder a pat as she walked by. Collier stood up as Grace put her bag over her shoulder after putting her leather coat on. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and eyed him suspiciously. Without saying a word, she shook her head and turned to leave the classroom.

"So we're still on bad terms are we?" Collier asked, catching up to Grace as she reached the sidewalk. Grace rolled her eyes.

"I thought you don't like to repeat yourself?" Grace asked, casing a glance at him. "You already gave me your cryptic message, what else do you want from me?"

"Who said there was only one message?" Collier replied. "And don't get mad at me because it's cryptic. I didn't create the message, I just deliever it. You wouldn't get mad at a FedEx man if he brought you a package and when you opened it you found a confusing object you had to assemble yourself would you?"

"No, I'd get mad at the company," Grace reasoned. "Maybe there should be instructions on how to assemble the package?"

"Okay, enough metaphors. Here's the deal," Collier began.

"Oh, so now you're going to just cut to the chase?" Grace was slightly amused as they stopped at a corner and Grace prepared to cross. "Look, all I know is the next few days are going to be hard for you. You have to be strong. Do what you think is right, and don't run from your feeling," Collier gave her a pointed look.

"I do not run from my feelings," Grace argued. Collier snickered.

"You're joking right?" He asked.

"Did they send you to annoy me or pass along messages?" Grace asked dryly. She hadn't been able to get back to Joan's messages, and she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to tell Joan about Collier even if she could.

"Just do you best to follow the suggestion. It'll help you in the long run," Collier supplied. "Take your best friend up on her suggestion to when she calls!" He called to her as she crossed the street. Grace wondered briefly who would be considered her best friend, exactly, as she kept walking.

* * *

"Just in time," Luke smiled as Grace approached. He was just putting plates down on the table of their booth, but he turned and greeted her with a hug and a kiss. "How was class? Any good arguments today?" He asked as they slid into their respective sides. 

"I didn't really pay attention today," She told him. "I think Dina and some other girl got into a scuffle over something stupid," She shrugged.

Luke studied her for a moment as he chewed a mouthful of food. He decided he wouldn't push to keep asking her how she was. "Lou's friend, Charlie, you remember we met him at the parties?" Luke asked her. Grace looked up and nodded, popping a French fry into her mouth, acknowledging that she indeed remembered Charlie and Kit who they'd sporadically ran into from going out with Lou to some of the other parties he'd invited them to. "They need someone to fill in short notice for them, in their band. Their guitarist dropped out on them and left for New York," He continued. Grace nodded slowly, looking at Luke to see if there was a point to this. Truthfully her mind was still occupied by Collier and his 'messages.'

"And…?" Grace led Luke, to get him to continue.

"And, Lou suggested me to them. I asked JB, he said he'd let me off early so I could go." He cleared his throat, nervously. Grace nodded. She was waiting for the rest of it.

"Spit it out, brain," She told him.

"It's supposed to be at this shady club about a mile away. They start at 9, and play til midnight." Luke continued. "Each of us get 200 a piece for it," He shrugged. "I mean it's not like I need to learn any songs, they're a cover band and all. I figured we could go. Sweet Lou and Glynis are going. A couple of their friends will be there. It should be fun. We could bring Missy and…what's his name, the guy she went out with last week? He'll be there anyhow. He's the drummer."

Grace studied Luke for a minute. It was amusing to her that anyone would ask Luke Girardi to be a part of their band. Then something hit her and she furrowed her eyebrows. "Wasn't their guitarist the singer too?" She asked. Luke nodded and shrugged.

"I think I can handle that," He said. Grace nodded. It wasn't like Luke couldn't sing. She thought about the summer when he'd gone up and took part in the karaoke contest and shook her head, stifling a laugh.

"So what do you think?" Luke asked, looking at her hopefully. Grace thought about it for a minute. She wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea of spending her Friday night in a bar full of drunk college kids. Then again, she hadn't been too freaked after going to some of the parties they'd been invited to, and Luke's hopeful look sent her over the edge.

"Okay," She said.

"I mean, it won't be so bad and-wait, did you say okay?" Luke asked. Grace nodded and he smiled broadly. He leaned across the table without warning and kissed her. "Thanks!" He smiled. Grace shrugged.

"You know you wouldn't need my permission to do thing, though," She said.

"I know, but I wanted you to come. How fun would Friday be without you?" He shrugged. Grace felt her cheeks warm up some and they finished their dinners.

* * *

"So, what are _we _doing tonight?" Johana asked as she stood in front of the mirror that was hanging on the back of their dorm room door, checking herself over to assure that her makeup was okay and her hair was perfect. She smoothed out her shirt and absently brushed off the knee of her jeans. 

Joan was on the other side of the room at her closet organizer. She was preparing herself in a similar manner, using a small mirror to apply some of her own make up. She finished up and checked herself over before grabbing her cell phone and searching through the phone book.

"We're meeting Brandon and Hayley and heading for O'Malley's," Joan commented. Johana chuckled slightly.

"Just don't drink as much as you did in October," She suggested with a grin. Joan cringed slightly and laughed.

"Never again, my friend," She commented. "And as I recall I wasn't the only one who drank too much that night,"

"Why whatever do you mean?" Johana asked innocently.

"Where are you and Tristan going tonight?" Joan asked as she came to the number she wanted and dialed.

"Dinner, movie and probably wondering around for something to do after that," Johana nodded.

"Well you know where we'll be if you two want to come join us," She told Johana. Johana nodded.

"Girardi, just the person I was trying to call earlier," Grace's voice floated through Joan's ear. Joan smiled.

"Hey Grace. You were trying to call me?" Joan replied.

"Yeah. No big. I was just returning your calls," Grace explained. She was also in the middle of getting ready. Granted it was 8:30 in Cambridge and 5:30 in California. Grace was in the process of fastening her jeans as she cradled the phone to her ear with her shoulder. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to see how you two were. I'm sorry we scared you about the letter with Ryan," Joan said. "It just spooked us."

"Forget it," Grace said quickly. "I'm fine," She lied, knowing full well that Joan didn't believe her. Missy was just getting in from the shower and was in a corner of the room by the end of the beds and her desk changing. She and Grace were going to meet Luke and everyone else at Suds Bucket so that they had time to change.

"Grace-," Joan started to say.

"Drop it, Girardi," Grace warned, sitting down to put some socks on as she talked to Joan.

"I'm just saying, it wouldn't be stupid or anything like that if you were, you know freaked-no, not freaked, worried," Joan corrected herself before Grace would yell at her. Grace sighed.

"Look, I'm fine. I'm going to be fine. Ryan can't do anything to me. Besides your dad has cops tailing us everywhere," She explained to Joan.

"What about your mom?" Joan asked, knowing that Grace would not react well to this. She heard Grace take a deep breath.

"They said she was going to be fine. I don't know why everyone expects me to go running home," She said. Then, as if second-guessing herself, she restated her position. "Correction, I do know why everyone expects that. If it was anybody else the first thing they would do was hop a plane home. But let's face it Girardi, I'm not everyone else. And I don't feel my mother deserves that much respect from me. Why should I go run to help her when she didn't, and wouldn't, do the same for me?" Grace reasoned. Joan was silent for a moment.

"You're right. It was a horrible thing they did when you were in the hospital," Joan said. "But, and you don't have to admit it to me, just listen. I know it's bothering you, and you know maybe you shouldn't go home for your mom or your dad. Maybe you should go home and address the issue for yourself," Joan suggested. Grace sighed. Joan smiled to herself, knowing that at least Grace had listened to her.

"Look, Girardi, thanks for the pseudo pep talk, but I have to go," Grace quickly turned the conversation around. "Somehow, your brother managed to join a band," She laughed some as she said this.

"What?" Joan asked. She wasn't sure if she'd heard Grace right.

"You heard me, Girardi," Grace said. "We're about to leave to meet him where they're playing tonight.

"Are we talking about the same person here?" Joan questioned. Grace laughed.

"Goodbye, Girardi," She said into the phone.

"Tell Luke I said Hi. Bye Grace," Joan replied. Both of them hung up. Joan was just finishing tying her shoes when Johana opened the door to reveal Adam and Brandon in the hallway.

"Ready?" Adam asked. Joan gathered everything she needed and nodded. As she walked out the door, she turned to Johana.

"Call me if you guys are coming to join us," She said. Johana nodded.

"Bye guys!" She called, shutting the door behind them.

* * *

"Okay, here we go," Missy came back to the table Grace had selected. It was a large round table with about seven chairs off to the left side of the stage if you were facing it. She had taken her jacket off and sat down and Missy had gone to get them some drinks. "Are you sure you just want a soda?" Missy asked as she slid the glass in front of Grace and took a sip out of her own beer. 

Grace nodded. "So are you and…Ajax was it? Are you two together now?" She changed the subject as the band finished setting up. Ajax was the band's drummer. Kit was its keyboardist, and Charlie was its bassist. Luke, for now at least, was the lead guitarist and singer and another guy Grace hadn't met was the other guitarist. Missy blushed slightly.

"I'm not sure," She shrugged, looking to the stage.

"I see…" Grace said, catching Luke's eye for a moment. He looked excited, and nervous.

She smiled slightly as he turned around to tune the guitar he had just put over his shoulder. Grace wondered who's it was, but figured the guy she didn't know owned it because he was helping Luke tune it.

"We're supposed to go out again tomorrow," Missy smiled. Grace looked back at Missy.

"So you're going on another date with him, but you don't know if you're…dating?" Grace asked. Missy shrugged.

"We didn't really talk about it, really," Missy explained. They would have kept up their conversation, but Sweet Lou approached with Glynis close behind. He gave a slight bow to both of them.

"Hello, ladies," He smiled broadly.

"Uh, Missy you remember Sweet Lou," Grace said. Missy shook his hand and nodded.

"Sure I do," She said.

"And this is Glynis," Grace pointed to Glynis who had already smiled and waved to Grace. Glynis held her hand out eagerly to Missy. "Glynis, this is my roommate, Missy."

"Hi!" Glynis said with a small nervous laugh. Lou held a chair out and Glynis sat down.

"Does anyone need a drink?" He asked looking around at them.

"I could use another," Missy indicated, reaching into her pocket for some money.

"Please, I've got it," He looked at Grace. Grace shook her head. "I'll be right back then," Lou turned and headed for the bar.

Missy and Glynis soon became caught in a conversation about tattoos and Grace was resigned to just listening when she heard her name. The band, File Under X, had just launched into their first song and Grace turned her head to see who'd called her.

"Grace! Hey!" Avery approached. Grace stood to greet Avery and before she could say hello, Avery had thrown herself to Grace and hugged her. By the time Avery let go, Grace was still shocked. Behind her stood JB Jr. Grace looked from Avery to Junior and smiled.

"Does Izzy know you two are here?" She asked with a smirk. Avery laughed and Junior blushed slightly. "Relax," Grace gave a wave of her hand, "Come, join us," She offered. Avery and Junior looked at each other and nodded. As they sat down, Grace introduced everyone and they began talking.

As the night progressed the table found themselves becoming fast friends, from the mere acquaintances they'd been before the beginning of the night. They found themselves singing along to some of the songs the band was playing. All of them except for Grace had been moderately drinking and they'd been sharing baskets of wings and fries.

Grace had found herself pulled into these actions without thinking about it. Despite her dislike for music, she did find herself singing along and dramatically dancing in her seat with the others as they laughed and joked. It felt good, even if she did feel a pang of guilt every now and then, to let loose and forget about all the serious stuff going on in her life at the moment.

"Forget sitting here, come on, who wants to dance?" Missy stood as she posed the question. Sweet Lou looked at Glynis and then stood, holding his hand out to her. Glynis smiled and stood. Avery and JB Jr. followed Glynis and Lou out.

"Oh, don't you dare think you're going to just sit there while we dance," Missy prodded Grace.

"I think I'll pass, thanks," Grace smirked.

"Oh come on, Grace, don't you ever have fun?"

Grace turned her head to see Collier standing there, grinning. Next to him was Dina.

"Hey Grace!" She smiled. Collier turned to Dina.

"I'll meet you out there," He told her. Dina nodded and headed for the small area that was being used as a dance floor.

"So not you're going out with people I know to get close to me?" She asked. "Can angels do that?"

"I'm not exactly an 'angel' per say." Collier grinned. "Why don't you come dance?" He asked. Grace narrowed her eyes at him.

"Is that your new mission? Make the girl in the corner dance?" Grace asked, amused. Collier shrugged.

"Nobody puts baby in a corner," He quoted. Grace rolled her eyes.

"Please don't quote bad movies," She shuddered.

"As I recall…you used to dance to the end of that movie when you were younger…" He said knowingly. Grace stood up.

"Okay, that's seriously creepy," She told him.

"Come on, dance. Let loose. It feels good, don't you think?" He asked. Grace sighed.

"Will you shut up if I do?" She asked. Collier nodded.

"Fine," Grace walked over to where her friends were dancing in the middle of the rest of the crowd, most of which were college student that Grace knew were underage like herself. Just then, the band started playing the chords of a familiar song. Grace stopped at looked at Luke. He smiled knowingly at her as a smile broke across her face.

"I love this song!" Missy called over the music.

"Who doesn't?" Avery asked as if anyone who didn't like it was crazy. Luke leaned into the microphone, still watching Grace. Grace grinned. This was definitely a crowd sing along song.

As Ajax beat the drums, the lyrics came in and the bar erupted with everyone singing along and the people on the dance floor area dancing wildly along.

_This bed is on fire with passion and love/The neighbors complain about the noises above/But she only cums when she's on top…/My therapist said not to see you no more/She said you're like a disease without any cure/She says I'm so obsessed that I'm becoming a bore oh no…Aw you think you're so Pretty eeeeeee-eeeeeeee-eeeeeee…_

Grace felt her eyes close as she shook her head back and forth to match her dancing among her friends who were just as enthusiastically singing along as she was.

_Caught your hand inside the till/Slammed your fingers in the door/Fought with kitchen knives and skewers/Dressed me up in women's clothes/Messed around in gender roles/Dye my eyes and call me pretty eeeeeee-eeeeeeee-eeeeeee…_

Grace remembered the first time she and Luke had heard this song in each other's presences at least. They had been walking by a club on their way home from the movies when they had both stopped instinctively at the sound of the familiar opening chords. Both had looked at each other and without so much as a comment, had started dancing on the corner and singing along. People were driving by, honking, talking about them, and even laughing at the sight they were seeing. Luke and Grace didn't even notice, too caught up making fools of themselves. When the song had ended the people in the club were clapping more for them then the band.

_Moved out of the house so you moved next door/I locked you out, you cut a hole in the wall/I found you sleeping next to me, I thought I was alone/You're driving me crazy when are you coming home?...Pretty, Pretty eeeeeee-eeeeeeee-eeeeeee…_

Grace opened her eyes when the song ended and clapped and whistled, cheering along with the rest of the now packed club. Luke caught her eye once again, glad to see her smiling and that she'd remembered the same thing he had. He winked at her as Charlie came over and said something to him. Luke nodded and they launched into another song. Grace felt adrenaline pumping through her. Could she really be having fun dancing to cheesy cover songs with all these people that she now considered friends? She looked at them as they danced with her. How had she gone from three friends to all the friends she now had? Collier saw the look on her face and leaned in to call out to her above the music.

"You let yourself, that's how," He supplied an answer for her. Grace looked at him.

"Dude…don't put yourself in my head," She said. Collier just grinned and went back to dancing.

"Hey, there's Fleur!" Missy excused herself and went to a darkly tanned woman with long black hair. She was wearing black pants and a red long sleeved shirt that rode up at her stomach. Next to her was a girl with jean and a blue thin sweater on, accented with bright blonde hair. Both smiled broadly and greeted Missy with a hug, before Missy waved them on to follow her. Missy introduced Fleur to everyone. When Fleur came to Grace, she smiled.

"Hey, Grace," She said. Grace nodded.

"Hey, long time no see," Grace commented. Fleur was in one of Missy's classes and she worked at the campus Library, where Grace had run into her quite a few times.

"Grace, this is Aurelia." Fleur introduced Grace to the blonde haired girl. Grace shook her hand.

"Hi, most people just call me Rails," Aurelia said. Grace nodded, accepting this. Fleur went with Lou and Missy to get drinks for everyone, who were still dancing. They returned and started dancing again as another song started. Grace smiled to herself. It did feel freeing to just let loose.

* * *

Joan had just finished laughing at a joke Brandon had been telling when Adam asked if anyone else wanted a drink. Joan happened to look up at the old bartender and he winked at her before tilting his head to invite her to come over. Joan narrowed her eyes at him and he smiled, giving a sarcastic wave. She rolled her eyes. 

"I'll go get the drinks," She offered, hopping out of her seat. Adam looked at her for a second and she kissed his cheek and headed to the bar before he could argue.

Sitting on a stool at the end, the old bartender walked over. "I need another pitcher."

"Aren't you a little young?" Bartender God asked. Joan laughed at him.

"Okay, 1, you already have been selling us drink. 2, about 10 other people in here are underage and 3, you're the one who called me over here," She smirked. Bartender God seemed to consider this. Reluctantly, he filled up a pitcher and placed it in front of her. Joan handed from crinkly bills to him. "So what's the deal, is this my lecture on underage drinking or what?"

"No," Bartender God shook his head. "Actually, I think you should be more concerned about Grace."

Joan blinked, startled. "I should be concerned about Grace? Aren't you all-knowing? You should already be well aware that I am," She replied. Bartender God nodded. "Do I get anymore then that?" Joan questioned despite the fact that she was almost certain she wouldn't.

Bartender God shrugged. "You should be worried about yourself as well," He looked at her.

"What are you babbling about?" Joan asked. She wasn't really in the mood for his cryptic games.

"It's not going to happen until you're at home, Joan. Keep going to those classes with your professor," He said as he wiped up the bar with a towel. "It's going to be all quiet on the home front until then."

Joan looked confused. "If you're going to endanger out lives like this all the time, you should at least give me better hints and suggestions then that." Joan took the pitcher in one hand and turned to leave. Bartender God put his hand on her shoulder. Joan turned her head and looked at him. His eyes held a eerie sadness.

"It makes sense if you look for the signs Joan," He said seriously. "A lot is going to happen, Joan. You're going to have a long road ahead of you. All of you, Joan not just you."

Joan studied him for a moment. She took a deep breath. "You know my mom said once that you…God…only gave people burdens they could handle…"

Bartender God studied Joan at this statement, looking at her somber expression. She swallowed hard, knowing that he already knew what she was going to say.

"Sometimes it's really hard to believe that," She nodded and walked away from the bar, heading back for table.

* * *

"I remember thinking, how could it be that you, liked that song," Luke smiled. He and Grace were huddled together under the covers of his bed. Sweet Lou and Glynis had yet to return. They'd said they were going to another party and if they returned it wouldn't be until at least dawn. 

Grace laughed from her spot lying with her head on his chest. She was letting her hands draw their usual shapes across his bare skin. Their clothes, this night, hadn't gone flying so much as just dropped to the floor as they'd struggled not to just fling themselves at the bed.

"Why wouldn't I?" She questioned. Luke snorted.

"Because I did," He said, smiling. Grace looked up at him. "It was the first song we ever agreed to liking, and not hating."

"Yeah well…at least we always have Kool & The Gang to remind us of our mutual hatred?" She suggested. Luke laughed.

"If, by whatever long shot, we get married, that is so our wedding song," He stated. Grace stopped at this. Luke quickly recovered. "Relax, I'm just saying. Hypothetically…" He trailed off when Grace's lips came down upon his. When she pulled away she looked away from his eyes and put her head back down on his chest.

"Well…it wouldn't be a complete travesty I suppose," She shrugged. Luke leaned his head down and kissed the top of her head. "Would it be possible to get to Arcadia tomorrow?" Grace spoke up after a few minutes.

"What?" Luke replied.

"I want to go back. Just until Sunday night," Grace cleared her throat nervously. "I don't want to go alone though," She admitted. She didn't look at him.

"How early do you want to leave?" Luke asked. Grace looked up at him now. He nodded to her, reaching for his clock. "I'll set my alarm for 5. We can get a little bit of sleep and we'll get to the airport by 6. Okay?" He asked. Grace nodded.

"Thank you…" She spoke barely above a whisper. Luke kissed her forehead.

"Don't be ridiculous. There's no need to thank me." He told her. He waited for her to fall asleep before closing his eyes.

**

* * *

A/N:** Okay chapter title is from "Laid" by James. And I have to say, who doesn't like this song?

**Responses: Michelle – **Hey, what's up? The Collier thing was supposed to be surprising, glad it work! ) Thank you for the compliment about my writing, I'm blushing, really! Hope this chapter lives up the expectations. **Sam – **Wow, I caused nausea! It was pretty disturbing, eh? Danica is one of my favorite girl names. It's unique I think. Ew to Collier? You were thinking he was bad, huh? Hunter is evil…but that would make me evil too, since, well I wrote it. I'm glad that despite the lack of G/L ness in the chapter, it was still enough to make you queasy! **Carol – **Hey! Welcome aboard! Glad you like where it's going. It is, as someone said starting to get pretty dark. I think I lightened this chapter up in some parts at least to counter balance that some. We'll see though. ) **Kool-Wolf – **Now listen you punk…I hate your guts too, yo! I'll die when you do! You may not have been asking literally but I answered literally, take it or leave it my foe. I am Not wasting valuable story time as I stop the chapters as specific points. It's mostly to anger you. (I suppose it takes a retarded person to sound retarded, hmm?) What, exactly, is the or else, for? What could you possibly do if I don't update? Hmmm? Punk! **sayxanything – **Sorry it was longer than an hour for the update, yo! ) **Audrey – **Heh, heh, heh, liked this chapter much huh? Ryan is pretty evil, isn't he? Hey, expect the unexpected right? I'll explain exactly what happened to the cop later on probably the next chapter. **Tiffany – **Hey, it was a logical progression to the Tiffany thing what can I say? I'll spare the pathetic person from your wrath towards them (in regards to the emailer). Ahh…I should've guessed Indiana. I'm not so quick after I write, my brain slows down lol. that could be because I'm up so late actually. Nope, really never been to Myrtle Beach. We have a house at the Jersey shore though, I go there a lot. Hahaha, Woohoo! I look forward to more than 20 chapters! **Butterfly Dancing – **First I made someone queasy then I gave you chills, wow. That's awesome. Well, not that you got chills. Anyway. Have fun on vacation! Let me know how it was when you get back! Where are you going? **Anti-Like-Grace – **Well, I hope you read it for fun. It's fun for me, writing it! I'm glad you're addicted as well! And thanks for the review! **Coveredinrain16 – **Well hello there. Thanks for the review on That Summer first of all. I'm glad to see you've come aboard as well! John Mayer is cool, ) I felt it fit with the chapter for Ch. 3. Thanks for the compliments on the writing. Glad I hooked you! Welcome to the addiction I shall continue to add J/A stuff just for you, how's that?

Thank you everyone for reading and for reviewing too! Much love to ya (except for the punk! In your case…much hate to ya, my foe.)


	10. Strong Enough To Break

**Holds Me Together**  
**Rating:** T-M Just in case  
**Disclaimer:** You know the drill.  
**A/N:** I love you people! You make my day! Sorry for the proofreading as always. **FYI: My responses to reviews are going to be at the bottom of each chapter instead of the top, just so that everyone doesn't have to scroll to get to the story. Don't feel unloved, it's not like I'm going to ignore the reviews! I swear!** Read on with yo bad self, now!

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* * *

Chapter 10 – Strong Enough To Break**

Grace hadn't spoken much to her mother when they'd gone to Arcadia. Mostly she sat in the chair next to Sarah's bed. Because of adverse reactions to the medications they currently had Sarah on, and also because of the withdraw symptoms that she was going through; Sarah's arms had to be bound. She had wool cushioned restraints fastened around her wrists, which were in turn fastened to either side of the bars of the bed she was lying in. Her father had explained that until Wednesday, Sarah's legs had been bound as well, but she was beginning to calm down now.

Grace had done everything in her power not to shed a single tear during her time in the hospital. She simply sat, staring at her mother's figure lying in the bed. Her arms were filled with shallow lacerations that were scabbed over into a dark scarlet and brown color. The edges of the scabs were peeling where new skin was growing underneath. They were from hallucinations that Sarah had had, of relentless bugs crawling about her skin. Grace also spotted the bandage wrapped around Sarah's left calf when she stuck her leg out from under the hospital blanket in her slumber. It was from when, during her hallucination, Sarah had managed to grab a pen from the pocket of one of the doctor's trying to calm her and sedate her in her fit, and she had gouged a deep enough gash to garner 10 stitches in a diagonal spiral that almost reached her shin before they'd stopped her.

They had caught a 7:35am flight from Logan Airport in Boston to Baltimore. Will had been there at 9:05 to pick them up and drive them the hour long trek to Arcadia. He had dropped them off directly at the hospital, where Grace had told Luke she would meet him at his house later. Luke had lingered a moment, watching her for some sign that she wanted him to stay. After a few minutes he reluctantly turned and climbed back in his father's car after watching her walking into the hospital's doors. After a quick, awkward greeting from her father, he said he had to get back to the Synagogue for work and had kissed her on the head before leaving as quickly as Grace would have liked too.

Grace had sat in that chair, next to her mother's bed, perfectly still, only moving her eyes to let them roam all about her mother's figure until visiting hours were over at nearly 9pm.

She had watched various nurses and doctors come in, pick up Sarah's chart, go over to the machines and jot down measurements from the instruments before taking her temperature and blood pressure readings and leaving. Some of them would administer injections into the IV that was plugged into the back of Sarah's right hand. They gave Grace breezy hellos and goodbyes as they hurried to make their rounds end swiftly. Grace hadn't responded to any of them. She had merely glanced at them when they crossed her eye line, just to see who had joined her. A couple of times, when she knew the sun had set, she half expected Luke to come in and demand some kind of emotion out of her. A time or two she almost wished it was her father, returning to tell her it was crazy for her to sit her and watch her mother sleep through her overdose recovery and her withdraw, but she knew that wouldn't happen. The King of Avoidance was sitting on his throne of evasion. After all, it was the only reason he wished for Grace to return, so that if Sarah woke up she would know that he had only left since Grace was there to pick up his slack, as always.

At 9:56 precisely, before the nurse could come and tell Grace to leave, Luke had arrived. He had stood at the window of Sarah's room and watched Grace for two minutes before quietly entering the room. Grace looked utterly lost. Her eyes were distant. They were misted over, but Luke knew that this was because they were staring out at the vast emptiness that her parents had been filling her life with for years. She barely blinked, as she stared. Her head didn't turn at the click of the door. Her whole body sat motionless. Luke panicked for a moment, thinking he'd just stepped into the first scene of a horror movie where the main character found the first victim. The slow, steady rise and fall of Grace's chest let him know that she was in fact breathing.

He had approached her chair and put his hand on her shoulder, softly calling her name, afraid that he'd disturb Sarah and cause some sort of scene. Grace had blinked, startled, shaking her head and looked over at him blankly. He waited a moment, and her eyes focused in and relief seemed to wash over her for a split instant.

"What are you doing here?" She said hoarsely. She hadn't eaten or had anything to drink since the night before.

"Visiting hours are pretty much over," He explained. "I came to pick you up."

"Oh," Grace nodded. She glanced past him and at her mother for a split second before standing. Grace had neglected to let the blood flow properly through her after sitting for so long and as soon as she stood her blood rushed from her head to her toes and her stiff, numb limbs gave out before she had a chance to even realize what was happening. Luke had reacted quickly and she found herself slumped against him with her eyes clenched in slight shock. Opening her eyes she saw bright stars surrounding the air as she tried to look up at Luke. She shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs from it.

"Are you all right?" He asked. He looked worried enough that, once Grace focused in the dim room, she was certain question marks would etch themselves across his ruffled up forehead. She put her hand on her own forehead and nodded, backing away and steadying herself on the back of the chair as she searched for her jacket.

"I'm fine," She assured.

"Here," Luke held her jacket out and Grace accepted it and slid it on.

"Let's get out of here," Grace felt the sudden need to be far away from this place. Luke followed her.

"Mom's got leftovers waiting for us at home," Luke said. Grace felt a brief pang of sadness to realize that she did think of the Girardi house as home in Arcadia, and not her own. She could barely remember what the inside of her room looked liked. She knew she was partially to blame for this feeling, after all it had been her who had always run away from the house to escape Sarah's habit and her father's forestalling of the world.

"I'm not really that hungry," Grace said as he began to drive. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, holding her leather jacket shut tightly with the hope that Luke wouldn't hear the angry growl her stomach emitted in protest of this statement. Luke cast a sideways glance at her.

"Maybe you will be when we get home," Luke had shrugged. Grace had been expecting him to argue with her, knowing she was hungry. Had Luke grown wise of her tactics when she wasn't paying attention? She looked at him as he drove, keeping his eyes focused on the road. He only ever glanced at Grace when he was at a red light or stop sign or a stationary point in the car. When on the highway she noticed, if it was deserted and the weather wasn't acting up, he might cast a short glance at her before diligently returning his attention to the road. She attributed this fact to Kevin's accident's profound effect on all the Girardi's and their driving strategies. Better safe than sorry, right?

* * *

Luke had been right. Upon returning to the Girardi house, she had given in to her empty stomach and had devoured the leftovers that Helen had heated perfectly just as they were entering. Though her mouth had watered and her stomach was begging her to scarf every bit down, Grace did her best to eat slowly, so as not to draw too much attention to the fact that she hadn't eaten all day. No doubt Helen would have something to say about that. After they'd started their meals and no longer needed her assistance, Helen had left the two of them to eat together.

"What's this like second dinner for you?" Grace asked him. Luke smiled slightly, recalling their Thanksgiving conversation.

"Nope, I waited for you," He told her. Grace frowned.

"You didn't have to do that. You should've eaten with your family," She felt guilty. Luke shrugged.

"I wanted to eat with you," He told her. "Besides, Kev and Lily came over for dinner and since I wasn't eating I got to hog Caleb for a good hour while they did," He announced proudly. "Of course…he puked on my twice, but I think that was because he scoffed down his whole bottle in like 3 nanoseconds…" Luke rambled. Grace looked at him and it was then that she noticed that the blue button up shirt was wearing had a dark circle near his left shoulder that looked like he'd spilled something and then cleaned it before letting it dry. She half smirked, realizing that Caleb had, indeed gotten sick on Luke.

"Well who wouldn't get sick, looking at a geek like you?" Grace said, leaving her head bowed to hide the small smirk that was on it now. Luke mocked a gasp, pretending to be offended by this.

"Are you _possibly_, suggesting that I'm less than stunningly tuna?" He asked. Grace laughed at this. She enjoyed swapping the phrase 'tuna' back and forth in replacement of 'handsome' in public after they'd found out that it was a synonym for the word handsome. They enjoyed the fact that it normally made people stare at them, wondering what in the world they could be speaking about.

"Maybe canned tuna," She suggested, glancing at him.

"Only if I'm dolphin safe," Luke countered, "Am I dolphin safe?"

"Hmm, yes you are. But since they're such big cans of tuna, they're held together in those plastic six-pack holders like soda cans, so you're only as safe as the poor unsuspecting customer who purchases you," Grace nodded. Luke offered up a pathetic frown and let his eyes glaze over. Grace almost shook with a mixture of irritation and urgency at this face.

"I _hate _when you do that…" She told him. Luke grinned after another minute when she gave in and kissed him, albeit even if it was on the forehead. His face became serious.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked. Grace eyed him. It was just like him to dive in and inquire of her well being when he'd just successfully gotten her mind off of whatever problem-usually her mother-was currently plaguing her life. She sighed, reluctant to answer the question.

"I'll be fine," She told him. "What time is our flight tomorrow?" She changed the subject.

"3:30," He told her. "Just enough time to drop our stuff off and for me to get to work." He smiled. Grace frowned.

"I'm sorry…I know you have two papers due," She felt immense guilt for making him come with her.

"Shut up, don't even start that again. We talked about that the whole flight here," He frowned. "Besides I got one of them done while you were gone," He couldn't understand why Grace couldn't grasp that she was more important to him then school, work or science. Grace couldn't fathom that anything was more important to Luke that science. But then again, there were the occasions when she could feel deep within her soul that there was nothing in the world, or the known universe that was more important to Luke than Grace. These were the times that shook her to the very center of her being. Grace wasn't sure she was reliable enough to hold such meaning to any single person without becoming as big of a disappointment to them as her mother had been to her. Weren't parental traits genetic? Wasn't she destined to disappoint Luke and then avoid him like her mother and father had respectively done to her?

As if he could search her face and read these thoughts, Luke reached out a hand and trapped her cheek in his palm, making it impossible to turn her face away from him.

"I wish you wouldn't do this to yourself…" He told her. She was shaken again by the sadness that was visible in his eyes. "None of this is your fault." He stated firmly. Grace bit down on the corner of her bottom lip. She wanted more than anything to believe that was true, but the electrically charged mass of gray matter inside of her skull wouldn't connect whatever signals were required to believe it. She sighed, turning her eyes downward since her face was being held still by Luke.

It was now that her heart started to pound, and her eyes began to fill. Great. She'd gone through an entire day, over analyzing her entire existence, and the events of the past few months and managed not to cry. It would have been okay to cry alone in her mother's hospital room where no one, not even her hibernating mother would have heard her or bothered to inquire of her well being. Now, when the one person who cared most about her in life, the one person she wished not to see her cry, was here to witness the beginnings of an uncontrollable cascading deluge of emotion that she wished would just stay inside of her and never rear its nasty face. Instead, Grace blinked and felt the burning, viscous, rolling of a heavy tear skimming down over her cheek and to her chin. If Luke hadn't been aware of it from the way her head was now cast downward, he was aware of it the second it split from the skin of her chin and landed directly on the knee of his jeans.

"Grace," He said her name quietly, almost desperately. She fought not to look at him but the silence drew her eyes to his. His own eyes were filled at the sight of her pain. "I…" He shook his head with his mouth open at a loss. "Tell me what I can do, because I don't know how to help you unless you tell me…" He pleaded his statement as if his very life depended on her telling him how to help her. Grace felt a new wave of guilt, sadness and pain washing over her. Her stomach was churning and she felt like she could explode. Had she already been a disappointment to him and not realized it?

"Please?" He inquired her again. Grace shook her head with a weak shrug, biting back any more tears from escaping her eyes.

"I don't know," She said feebly. Luke frowned. He wasn't going to accept this. In a swift motion he drew he to him tightly, refusing to let up when she's struggled at first. When did Luke get this strong? She had wondered. Soon after, her exhausted frame had relaxed into him. She breathed slowly, regulating her emotions in the comfort of his presence. He had started speaking to her, softly. She was positive she wouldn't have heard him, had his mouth not been so close to her ear. Grace didn't respond vocally, but he slowly felt her arms circle around him and she clutched onto him nearly as tightly as he was holding her to him.

"It's going to be okay, Grace," He said as if it were his solemn oath to her. She wanted to ask him how he was so sure but was afraid to. "I promise you, I don't know exactly how, but we'll figure it out. I'll be all right." He said just as sternly. She wasn't sure how or why but she felt her head nodding in the crook of his neck to indicate she'd heard him and she believed him.

* * *

"Tell her to call me when you two get settled back up at school," Joan ordered Luke. Johana had just answered the door to find Adam standing there. She had let him in and Joan had held her finger up to signal for him to give her a minute, so Jo had set about shutting the door behind him and they started to talk about how each other's day had been going. Colby had been at her desk, catching up on studying, something which she had been doing little to none of for the whole semester and now was cramming for last minute tests; make up work, homework, papers and finals. She had spent the morning in a screaming match with Brandon, who she'd run into in the cafeteria, along with Hayley. She had started giving Hayley a hard time and Brandon had been quick to defend Hayley, causing Colby to cause a scene and scream at Brandon. Now she was getting easily irritated at Jo and Adam for talking to each other near her and at Joan for talking louder on the phone now that Adam and Jo were talking.

"Okay. Yeah. We're flying in on December 22nd, can you tell mom?" Joan asked into the phone. "Okay. Sounds good," Joan was nodding as the conversation wound down. "Oh, and Luke?" She paused, obviously waiting for him to respond to assure that he was listening. "I'm serious…I might not be there for you to put your head in my lap and spill your guts, and a stupid phone call might not seem like much but it's better than nothing if it's all we've got for right now, okay? Call me if you need to. You can be strong for Grace you know, and still let us be strong for you," She told him.

"Oh _God_, could you be any lamer?" Colby shouted from her desk as she screamed into her palms. Jo and Adam stared at Colby, shocked and Joan rolled her eyes.

"I've gotta go Squirt, her highness is being a royal snob," Joan cracked. "Later," She said before hanging up. Colby didn't seem to hear the insult. She walked over towards Colby's desk and slammed the phone down into its receiver. Colby looked at her. "You can blow it out your ass, Colby. None of us care that you've waited until the last minute to get yourself together so get over yourself," She grabbed her things and looked at Adam and Johana. "Are we ready to go?"

Both of them nodded at her in shock and followed her out the door as Colby sat, staring in shock after Joan. Once they'd gotten outside and the shock wore off both Johana and Adam erupted in laughter.

"Ha-Ha! Wow! That was so awesome!" Johana cheered. Joan blushed and shrugged.

"I may have been a little harsh," She suggested.

"I think I detected a little bit of Grace back there, Jane," He commented as he wound his arm around her. Joan blushed.

"Ah well, I've got to pick up the slack, you know, in her absence," She said, popping the collar of her shirt up to exaggerate the coolness she was trying to exude. The expression only lasted on her face for a second before they all chuckled again.

"So, are they okay?" Johana asked. "Your brother and, Grace, is it?"

"Yeah," Joan nodded. "Grace's mom's kind of touch and go right now though," She didn't want to get too specific, knowing Grace wouldn't want her too. Joan wanted more then anything to fly back and be in Arcadia for Grace, even though she knew Grace would probably punch her shoulder and yell at her for disrupting her life for what Grace would call a stupid reason. Joan knew that if the situation were reversed, Grace would already have flown back and been standing at Joan's side, fending off anyone who had the intent of giving Joan a hard time.

"They said she was going to be okay though, didn't they?" Adam asked. Joan nodded.

"Yeah, but they're going to be keeping her probably for another week or two at least," Joan stated. "But enough about this," She continued with a wave of her hand and a shake of her head. "What are our plans for the day?"

"I vote sushi for lunch," Jo said, putting her hand in the air and turning to walk backwards facing her friends with a hopeful face. Joan shrugged.

"Fine with me I guess," She looked at Adam. His taste wasn't particularly attuned for sushi but he knew there were dishes on the menu that he liked so her nodded in agreement. This cause Johana to clap her hands and squeal din delight nearly jumping up and down as she joined Joan and walked on the side that Adam wasn't occupying. She and Jo linked arms as the three of them trekked for the closest sushi place they could find.

* * *

They were seated as soon as they arrived and within three or four minutes their waiter approached with cups of water.

"Beau?" Joan recognized the waiter as Brandon's other roommate. He was thin but well defined guy, standing at 5'9" with blonde hair that hung to his eyebrows and the tops of his ears. It was wet and full of gel and they could tell he'd arrived for work probably only ten or twenty minutes before they'd gotten there. Beau looked up to see who was sitting at his table now that he knew it was someone he should at least know. He smelled.

"Hey guys," He looked around at them. Beau and his girlfriend had gone out Friday night and found Johana and Tristan at the movie theater. After the movie the four of them had met Joan, Adam, Brandon and Hayley at O'Malley's. Shortly after they had arrived, Flynn had come in with two of his friends and they had joined the large group. The night had progressed from some friends eating bar food and sharing some drinks to dancing, laughing, singing, getting to know each other better and fierce darts, foosball, pool and pinball competitions. The group was finally kicked out at closing time to fend for themselves and walk home, still joking and singing and enjoying each other's company.

"How's your head this morning?" Adam asked with a laugh. Beau absently rubbed the back of his head.

"Well it's not swelling, no thanks to you two," He looked pointedly at Johana and Joan who both feigned innocence. They couldn't hold their laughter back though and giggled at him. "Yeah, yeah it's real funny to knock a drunk guy into a freezing fountain at almost 4 am, isn't it?" He said, having trouble holding back his own laughter.

After they had knocked Beau into the fountain from where he'd been walking along the ledge everyone had exchanged glances and jumped in, deciding it was a good idea at the time.

Five minutes in the fountain, after everyone was thoroughly soaked, Hayley commented that she felt like she was in a bad version of the Friends' theme song, which only incited Johana, Joan and Adam to break into a slightly slurred and off tuned version of the Friend's theme song, and everyone clapped and started singing along, resuming their dancing and splashing in the fountain. Joan laughed at the memory of their pathetic moment, knowing she would not soon forget this memory. It hadn't been until a passing cop had ordered them out of the fountain that they noticed that Beau's head was slightly welted and he realized he'd hit his head on the fountain.

"So what can I get everyone?" Beau asked. He took their orders and talked to them for another moment before heading to place their order and get their drinks.

"What's on the agenda for the night?" Adam asked. Joan stretched and sighed as her shoulder cracked. Professor Brink's classes, Joan and Hayley had found out, definitely intensified as they progressed.

"I've got a paper to finish before tomorrow," She groaned. "Or else I have to remain locked in the room with Colby to finish it Monday night," She grimaced. Adam nodded and looked at Joan to inquire her plans.

"Jessie's got an extended class that I opted into for Sundays," Joan said. Johana and Adam looked at her strangely. "Oh! I mean, uhm, Professor Brink," she cleared her throat. "Anyway, it's from 6 until 9:30," She told them. Adam looked disappointed. Joan noticed this. "But," she smiled, "You've got me until dinner?" She offered.

"On that note, I'm hitting the ladies'," Johana excused herself. Joan grinned and laughed slightly.

"Yeah, she's not so subtle, is she?" She asked. Adam shook his head.

"But that's okay," He smiled at her.

"So what's the plan after this?" Joan asked him.

"I have to go and pick up some supplies at the art store," He told her. "Other then that," He shrugged, "I'm up for anything you are."

"Actually, shopping sounds like a good idea." She replied. "I do have some various things I need to get."

Adam nodded and smiled, "Okay."

"But…" Joan leaned across the table, stopping just before his lips and wiggling her eyebrows. "That shouldn't take too long…" She said, assuring she sounded at least a little bit seductive. She smiled when Adam swallowed hard. "I'm sure we could find some place suitable for some alone time, don't you?" She asked, still dangerously closer to him. He nodded enthusiastically and closed the gap between them.

"Do you want this drink on the table or should I pour it on you two to cool you off?" Beau said as he stopped next to their table. Adam and Joan blushed and Beau laughed at them. "Relax, it's a joke, guys."

Johana rejoined them and soon after they were served their food. They talked about finals and courses, and the upcoming Christmas break over their lunch. Joan, Adam could tell, was anxious to return home. He knew it was harder for her to be away from her family then for him to be away from his dad. She wanted to see her nephew. She wanted to see if her Dad was okay, still flinching every time she heard any kind of news involving police injuries, despite the fact that they were across the country from him. She even admitted that she missed her mother trying to engage her and give her advice. She was also dying to see Luke and Grace, he knew. Adam on the other hand had missed his dad throughout November but he found that at the distance with nothing to occupy him but art and his Jane, he managed to make it through the month relatively okay this year.

_On the anniversary of his mother's death, Joan had approached him when he was crossing the commons and heading for the dorm. _

_"Come with me," She said, taking his hand and leading him in another direction. Adam had not responded and just let her lead him. It had been late and he'd spent the past two hours wondering around and thinking. Now the sun was just beginning to set and he wanted to crawl into his bed and not emerge until morning, if at all. _

_With the touch of Jane's warm skin in his hand and her body so close next to his, however, he was starting to feel relieved. He found that t he overwhelming sadness couldn't completely overtake him when she was around. _

_It led him to wonder if his mom had been looking out for him all along. Maybe she knew that he was hurting because of her and since she couldn't be there to console him, Jane was. Maybe she had something to do with that. She could've struck up a deal with God, perhaps, that wound up bringing Jane to him, through her little tasks. Anything was possible, apparently. _

_Finally, after a good fifteen minute walk that led them down a hiking trail and through a patch of woods, Joan had stopped. Adam hadn't been paying attention, he'd been letting his mind water. _

_"Here, come sit," She ordered. And there on the grassy of the cliff she'd brought him to was a blanket, lying spread out on the ground. One he sat down, Joan sat herself down between his spread legs and leaned back against him. Just as she'd expected, his arms laced easily around her, pulling her back towards him as if she was the only thing anchoring him to this plane and if he let go he might float up through the atmosphere into utter nothingness._

_Joan wrapped her own arms around his and put her head back on his shoulder so that her face was next to his. _

_"Why are we here?" He asked her. Joan pointed out at the breathless sunset in front of them. _

_"Don't you see it?" She asked. Adam looked at the sight before him. True, it was beautiful, but on a day like this, everything was less interesting. Everything except his Jane really. Joan shook her head sadly ad him. "It was her favorite time of day Adam, I'd expect she'd give you a spectacular show on a day like this one," She said, settling back against him and looking at the magnificent color spectacle taking place before them. The hues of orange, red, pink, purple, light and dark blue were mixing into a giant span of what Joan often claimed looked like someone left multiple containers of sherbet out to melt together, sometimes among fluffy clouds. _

_Adam stared at her, his breath hitching in his throat. Joan heard this and glanced at him. _

_"Are you all right?" She asked, worried. He nodded, his eyes wide. _

_"How did you know that?" He inquired urgently. _

_"Know what?" Joan countered. _

_"That it was her favorite time of day?" He replied. Joan shrugged, not really sure if she wanted to tell him. It might upset him more. He eyed her. She knew more than she was letting on. Swallowing hard Joan sighed. _

_"She told me," Joan closed her eyes and hunched her shoulders, not sure how Adam was going to react. _

_"What?" He asked, dumbfounded. _

_"I just thought it was a dream…but since that's only ever the case when it's mean koalas in hats…I figured it wasn't," Joan shrugged. "She wanted you here. So I brought you here, you don't hate me do you?" She asked. Adam, still skeptical, quizzed Joan and found that she could describe Adam's mom perfectly, including the dress she'd been buried in. For the rest of the sunset, they sat in silence. _

_Adam hadn't spoken about the subject until the next morning. He'd knocked on Joan's door at __5 am__, causing Colby to scream at him, but he didn't hear it. As soon as he'd seen that Joan opened the door he pulled her against him and kissed her passionately. When he pulled away, Joan was dazed and still half asleep. She was about to ask what he'd been doing there when he cut her off. _

_"Thank you, Jane…" It was all he'd said, but it was more then enough for Joan to understand. She'd simply offered a smile and kissed him again before hugging him tightly. _

* * *

"Welcome home," Ella said when Grace entered JB's and walked to her and Luke's booth and tossed her bag into the bench seat. Ella put down her tray of dirty dishes and enveloped Grace in a hug. Grace had just turned around when she found herself in Ella's embrace. Awkwardly she hugged Ella back. Ella eyed her up and down carefully after pulling away. She put her hand on her waist as she hoisted the tray to her shoulder again. "Next time I give you a hug, Gracious, I expect you to show me how you really feel about me, kid," She ordered. "None of this half hugging business, I don't tolerate that!" She smiled and gave Grace's face a loving stroke down her cheek before heading towards the back to dump the dishes as Grace flushed red.

Depositing herself into the booth, she dug out two of her textbooks and a notebook. She began pouring over them and doing homework with a pen in her hand and a pencil tucked behind her ear. She cursed herself for being left handed when, after two hours, she noticed that the whole bottom side of her hand was covered in pencil gray and blue pen. Putting her pen down in disgust, she grabbed a napkin and dabbed it into her cup of water before trying to haphazardly clean her hand.

"Grace?"

Grace lifted her head to see that Fleur was standing at her booth looking at her. When she realized she was right, that it was Grace, Fleur smiled.

"I thought it was you there," She smiled. "Can I sit?" Fleur indicated the other side of the booth.

"If you want," Grace shrugged, drying off her now semi-clean hand.

"How's your mom?" Fleur asked. Grace flinched and Fleur smiled. "Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I didn't mean to upset you," She sounded sincerely apologetic.

"It's fine, really," Grace said with a deep breath. "They said she'll be fine." Grace answered Fleur's question vaguely. Fleur seemed to accept this.

"Yeah," Fleur nodded. "It's nice that you went to see her," She smiled nervously. "My mom's a total wine-o, I've given up on calling to see how she is," Fleur continued wit ha nonchalant wave of her hand. Grace stared at her, shocked that she could admit it so freely. Fleur, she'd found out, was 23, and just finishing her graduate degree this year. She and Aurelia, or Rails as everyone had called her due to it being a nickname for her full name and because she was rail thin, had an apartment with her. They'd been together since they were juniors in College. Aurelia was PR representative for an acting firm which was headquartered out of NYC. Her office was currently in Boston, however.

"Anyway, whatcha working on?" She looked down at Grace's books, turning her head to try and read it upside down. She noticed Grace's silence and looked up to see the shocked, horror-stricken look on Grace's face. "What's wrong?" She questioned. After a moment of searching the look on Grace's face and thinking of what she'd said, it dawned on Fleur. "Oh, hey, I'm sorry, I didn't know…" She cleared her throat. "So, is that why your mom's in the hospital?" She made a bold move to ask Grace. Grace looked, and felt trapped. In truth she was only comfortable with certain people, like the Girardi's, knowing about this part of her life. She barely knew Fleur, no matter how nice the girl was. "Hey, relax, we can talk about something else," Fleur assured, putting a reassuring hand on Grace's forearm. Grace fought the urge to yank it away. She swallowed hard. Fleur pulled her hand away.

"Well, I'll leave you to your work so I don't upset you anymore," She cleared her throat and stood. She turned back and looked at Grace. "Hey, listen, if you ever do want or need to talk or anything you know how to reach me," She told Grace. Grace could only nod in response. Fleur waved goodbye to Luke and left. Luke was just clocking out. Grace shook her shock away, not wanting to recount what just happened to Luke as he sat across from her.

"Ready to go?" He asked. Grace shrugged, but started putting her things away.

"My place or yours?" She asked a few minutes later when they'd stepped outside.

"Yours," Luke told her. Grace nodded and they turned and started walking. "There's and X-Files marathon on TNT tonight straight through until tomorrow morning," Luke commented as they walked. Grace chuckled at this.

"Great, I could use the sleep," She retorted. Luke laughed.

"I think you'd look hot with red hair," He commented. Grace raised an eyebrow.

"Dude, I'm not Scully," She said, sticking her tongue out and shaking her head disgusted. Luke seemed to consider this and nodded.

"Yeah," He looked at her like he was studying her now. She squirmed slightly under his gaze. She looked at him as if to ask what he was staring at when he continued. "That was more just to get a rise out of you I think," He smiled, "I much prefer you the way you are," He nodded. Grace snickered.

"Right," She nodded slowly as they entered her dorm. Missy was nowhere to be seen and Grace couldn't remember where she'd say she was going to be gone. She put her stuff down and quickly started changing into her pajamas. Luke was putting his stuff down and his coat on her chair when he noticed something on her desk and laughed slightly.

"What?" Grace asked, taking a few steps closer now that she'd changed. Luke held his hand out.

"I can't believe you still have this," He smiled. Grace looked down and saw the geode he'd given her before they'd started dating.

_"Why did you give me that rock?" She'd asked stopping to look at him, that night when he'd been walking her home from the hospital where Joan was._

_"It's a geode," He had protested, his palms sweating, and his heart thudding in his ribcage._

_"To me it's a rock. Why?" She demanded. Luke loved her intensity. It proved to him that she was fighting something within her. He had a chance._

_He'd continued to fight with her about trends, courtship, being anti._

_"What do you care what people think? I mean, if you're anti. You know, shouldn't you like the idea of us if you're so anti?" He'd cornered her, so he thought. _

_"I'm not that anti," She said dryly._

Luke smiled slightly at the memory.

_"Look, I'm not into you! Got it?" She'd screamed at him a few minutes later and mere seconds before she'd surged forward and they'd connected together._

Grace blushed and took the rock from his hand. There was a rupture line that clearly split it in half. She had obviously glued it back together. Luke recalled that night. She'd crawled in through his window in the pouring rain, eyes red and visibly pissed and upset. He'd asked what happened and she had held out both hands, with a broken half of the geode in each palm. Luke had taken her hands in his and examined the geode before smiling to her and reporting that it was all right and could be fixed with super glue. He'd gone into his desk and retrieved some, before telling her he'd get her some sweats to change into so she wasn't soaked.

"Yeah well…it's a good paper weight," She lied. Luke smiled at her, knowingly and she saw this. "Drop it, brain," she warned, pushing her hair behind her ear and averting her eyes. "Come on, I'm cold," She walked by and slid under the covers of her bed. Luke disrobed down to his underwear hopped over her, burrowing behind her. She turned on the TV, reluctantly to TNT to find that the X-Files marathon was indeed on. She rolled her eyes. Luke heard her steady breathing kick in just before the first theme song ended and he laughed to himself before kissing her on the top of her head and tightening his arms around her, turning his attention to the TV to try and get tired. Finals were coming up, and they'd be back in Arcadia soon, plus there was still the whole Ryan debacle to mull over. Luke sighed. How could anyone sleep when so much was going on?

"What's in this for me?" Friedman asked.

"Revenge, brillo head," Ryan grinned evilly. "Don't you want it? That Girardi kid, he took the girl you wanted and then dumped her. He and the girl tested out of senior year and moved on and you got left in the dust. He destroyed your science fair project. His sister and Grace, they made your life hell, slapping you around all the time. It's only fair they get what they deserve isn't it?" He asked with a knowing grin. "It's only logic, do the math," He coerced. The teenage rubbed his chin in thought.

After a good five minutes, he finally nodded. After all, he was smart enough to know that if he declined, it was the end for him. The only logical choice was to agree. Luke would understand. After all, it was human nature and instinct to want to survive. He nodded.

"Okay, I'll do it," He said. Ryan smiled wickedly and shook his hand.

"Good man," He said. "Now, here's what's going to happen. We've only got two, maybe three weeks to plan this out," He began to plot out the plan for Friedman, who listened and nodded.

**

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A/N: Okay, so here you go. I'm not really sure about this chapter myself so I really need to know what you honestly think, okay? P.S. the chapter title is from 'Strong Enough To Break' by Hanson. Yes, yes, I admit it, I totally love Hanson. It's sick I know but what can I say...music rocks...Okay, moving on from my guilty pleasures...on to responses:**

**Responses: Sayxanything – **Wow, I'm worth waiting for? Good to know! ) Wow, thanks for the compliments…I'm blushing! Seriously! **Anti-Like Grace – **Now I'm blushing more. Thanks! I'm not really used to updating this much, usually I lose my muse. Somehow, for this (knock on wood) I haven't. **Kool-Wolf – **Powers of the internet? Please, you cyber punk! Ha, I spooked you didn't I? I just didn't want to outright tell you to die….and it was late…I blame sleep deprivation. Eh. Freak? You wanna see a freak? I've got a mirror for you to look into, my foe! **Butterfly Dancing – **Luke is awesome and I keep telling myself I have to make him mess up because nobody's perfect but I can't figure out how he should screw up. Have fun camping! **Coveredinrain16 – **How was that J/A for ya? Aw yeah, tricky, tricky, I like the sneak attack approach in stories. I've got more in store for this one. ) **Audrey – **YAY! YOU UPDATED! WOOT! I was totally excited when I saw you updated, it was sick how much withdraw I was in, yo. **Tiffany – **Hey…great minds…wait you already said that, oops! Dude, no story is ever original. Not really. Just someone's take on something that's already been done somewhere along the line. You don't have to change your story cause I do something, I wouldn't say you were ripping anything off. If it fits your story, go for it, okay? Can't wait for your return! E-mail me when you get back about how it was! **Carol – **Aw, thank you! As I said, I'm blushing, seriously. Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying it! How'd you like this chapter? Is there anything you think I'm doing badly at in this story? **Sam – **Ah! Don't short out your keyboard with drool, yo! Hey, Grace is sly like that, don't you think? The Glynis factor needs to be stepped up a notch. I think I'll tinker with it during the Christmas break coming up, what do you think? Hahaha, I know, but if you picture Luke without the glasses like he is in the story, and with like a t-shirt and jeans on, it's pretty hot, lol. Yeah, I know the Grace and the Luke part were unusual, but like I said, growing characters change over time, right? Besides, when stressful things happen in a person's life they do tend to act a little out of character sometimes. ) **MDM79 – **Haha, glad you liked Luke in the band! Tell me you like the song 'Laid' by James, because I'll be disappointed if you don't! ) How'd I do for this chapter? Anything in here suck?

**FYI: Tiffany's story "Unexpected" will be updated when she gets back from her vacation, so don't think she disappeared for ever! (If you haven't read her story, go over and read it now! Cause I said so and you love me don't you? It's here: http/ )**


	11. These Wounds They Will Not Heal

**Holds Me Together  
Rating:** T-M Just in case  
**Disclaimer:** You know the drill.  
**A/N:** I love you people! You make my day! Sorry for the proofreading as always. **FYI: My responses to reviews are at the bottom of each chapter instead of the top. Don't feel unloved, it's not like I'm going to ignore the reviews!** Read on with yo bad self, now!

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Chapter 11 – These Wounds They Will Not Heal**

"Hey," Grace slid across from Luke into their booth. He grinned nervously, like he knew something she didn't. Grace eyed him suspiciously.

It was December 15th and she had just finished her very last final for the semester. It figured that she would have the final that was in the last time slot on the last day of finals. But it didn't matter because it was over now. She'd met Luke at JB's where he'd clocked out about an hour before she'd gotten there, though it looked like he'd gotten into the booth just seconds before her because he still had his jacket on. In the booth next to him sat a big plastic bag, what was in it, Grace had no idea.

"Okay, what's going on?" She asked. Luke's smile widened and Grace let one of her eyebrows arch in interest. He reached a hand inside the bag and seemed to search around for something. Once he'd grasped it, he began to speak as he pulled it out and held it out to her.

"Well, first of all Happy Hanukkah, though this isn't really what I got you for a present. I just figured, why not?" Luke stated Grace found a bouquet of green orchids with pink and white centers thrust in front of her face. She instinctively leaned back away, the seat of the booth stopping her from going more than an inch or two backwards. She looked at Luke strangely.

"Um…thanks?" She replied, cautiously reaching out to take the bouquet from him as if accepting them meant that she was in peril of taking flowers. Flowers that weren't half bad actually.

"I figured no pink, and you like green and yeah they're flowers but in defense you gave me a flower, that makes it a legal present," He defended himself. Grace was about to argue that she'd never given him any such thing but stopped and shut her mouth, realizing that she had indeed given him a flower. Granted, she'd swiped it from Joan when she was doing her garden. Instead she pursed her lips together and nodded. Luke watched her. A mischievous look flashed across her eyes and he'd been waiting for a good comment to escape her lips now.

"You know, flowers are the sex organs of plants…why would anyone find the castration of plants romantic?" Grace questioned. Luke smiled broader at this, like he was proud. Grace shook her head and snickered. "You know what frightens me is that it turns you on when I say stuff like that," She shook her head again. Luke reached into the bag again.

"Okay, here's the actual present," He proudly handed her a thin square that was wrapped in newspaper comics. Grace took it cautiously after she'd put the flowers down next to her. She unwrapped it and was about to ask him why in the hell he would buy her a 45 record when she happened to spot the name of he song and band on the record. Her eyes widened and she laughed so loud that most of JB's turned to look at her. She looked at Luke who now had a Cheshire grin spread across his face and then back at the record which read 'Kool & the Gang' in bold black letters with 'Celebration' under it. She shook her head, almost in delighted disgust.

"You are one sick pup, brain, you know that?" She said as her shoulder slowly stopped shaking and her laugh died down. She rested her hand on her chin and didn't even try to hide the small smile playing on her lips. She held up her other hand and used her finger to signal him to come closer. Luke leaned across the table and they kissed.

"Oh," He said when he sat back down. He reached into the bag again.

"Dude, it's one present, over eight nights, geek. What did you do go on a shopping spree?" She asked, worried that he actually had gone and bought her tons of gifts and starting to feel guilty that he might have. Luke laughed.

"No," He set a package in front of her. "Adam sent this," He said. He placed another package of similar size down in front of her. "And Joan sent this. They said they put their cards inside," He informed her. Grace was staring at him now.

"They mailed me stuff for Hanukkah?" She asked, shocked. Luke nodded. "Why didn't you tell them not to? That's expensive to do!" She said.

"Oh please, like me telling Joan not to do something would stop her?" Luke replied. "This _is_ Joan we're talking about here, you know," He said. Grace sighed and nodded.

"This is true," She agreed. She glanced at him and noticed he was watching her, waiting for her to open the gifts. Grace reached out and opened Adam's package. She read the card and then reached into the box and pulled out a small photo album. Adam had given his own touches to the cover but inside were old pictures from high school as well as new pictures that featured Adam and Joan, and even some of their new friends, with descriptions about each of them attached. After she finished flipping through it, she handed it to Luke so he could see.

Luke laughed at some of the pictures as he flipped through it. Grace pulled Joan's package over and opened it. She read the card and found that it was filled with Joan's usual cheesy comments and even though this bugged Grace, she found herself smiling slightly. She reached inside and found a VHS tape. She held it up.

"I wonder what could be on this?" She asked, amused and intrigued. Luke shrugged.

"I don't know…but we can watch it when we get to whichever dorm we're heading to tonight," He said. Grace nodded and put the presents carefully into her bag. Luke put the empty packages and wrapping in the empty bag next to him now. She picked up her cell phone to call Joan and Adam. "I'll be right back," Luke excused himself and headed for the bathroom. After calling Adam and getting his answering machine, she left a message and then called Joan and also wound up leaving a message.

* * *

"We're almost home! We're almost home!" Joan sung, bouncing slightly in her seat as their plane taxied about the runways after landing, searching for its dock. Even though the plane hadn't fully stopped, Joan couldn't contain herself and she unlatched her seatbelt. 

"Jane, they didn't tell us we could unfasten our seatbelts yet," Adam said nervously. He had been more nervous to fly back than Joan was. Mostly this was because Joan was so elated to finally going home and seeing everyone, her nephew in particular, that nothing was registering clearly with her. She'd spent the whole plane ride listening to music, flipping through pictures, staring out the window and asking Adam every fifteen minutes or so how much longer he thought the flight was going to take.

This being a flight that passed through quite a few December storms in their trek back across the country. Every time the plane trembled and shuddered under the force of turbulence, dropping a foot or two of altitude like a roller coaster when it first starts its decent down the first drop, Adam squeezed her armrest a little tighter, or busied himself by tightening his seatbelt, putting his head back and closing his eyes.

"Oh, relax," Joan waved her hand dismissively. She wished that she hadn't taken the window seat, knowing it would take Adam longer than her to stand up in the isle, blocking the flow of traffic, to get their carry on bags. "We're just driving around now. It's not like we're in the air," She smiled. Adam looked at her. He looked exhausted. Probably from all that worrying.

Their flight had left California at noon. Their flight had lasted for five hours and fifteen minutes. Now, it was just about 8:30pm what with the time change and all. Adam was prepared to find the nearest bed and collapse onto it until the sun came up again.

"Come on, come on!" Joan gave Adam's arm a slight shove. Adam shook his head and realized the plane had stopped. Some people were starting to stand and stretch. Before Joan could shove him out of his seat, Adam unhooked his seatbelt and stood up, blocking the isle. Joan shoved out past him and as he opened the overhead compartment, she reached in and yanked both their bags down, depositing Adam's into his chest. He stumbled back an inch or so as he caught the bag and looked up. Joan was inching out up the isle behind an older woman who was just as eager to get off the plane.

"Sorry," Adam excused when the person behind him cleared their throat and made to follow Joan. He caught up with her halfway up the hallway connecting the plane to the airport as he slung his bag over his shoulder. Joan was grinning from ear to ear; she looked like she was floating, walking so fast on her toes that she barely touched the floor with each step. Adam smiled to himself to see her so excited.

Upon reaching the door they entered the airport and made their way through hoards of holiday traffic, following signs that led them to Baggage claim D. Once they reached the baggage carousel, they waited for nearly 45 minutes for their suitcases before finally spotting them heading around the revolving carousel. Adam dove through three gathered people and landed on the bags just as they got close enough, dragging them through the crowd back to Joan. Joan grabbed the handle of hers and they set about looking for Kevin, who had volunteered to pick them up.

"He's over there," Adam pointed. Kevin was off to the side of an extra wide automatic door, drumming on his armrests with his palms and looking around bustling crowds of loud, obnoxious travelers. One of the travelers hit him with their suitcase in the foot. Kevin almost smiled as he let out a growl of pain and told the man to watch where he was going.

"Kevin!" Joan called, taking off towards him. She barreled past the man who'd knocked into Kevin, almost throwing him off his feet. He cussed at her as Adam passed him, trying to keep up. Kevin smiled when he saw Joan and opened his arms. Letting go of her suitcase inches in front of him she jumped into his lap and hugged him fiercely.

Kevin grunted and laughed as he hugged her back. She stood up and Adam shook hands with Kevin. Joan looked around and out the door anxious craning her neck.

"What the hell possessed you to come home on one of the busiest travel holidays of the year?" Kevin asked them.

"Where's my nephew?" Joan demanded. Kevin snickered.

"He's at home with Lily," He told them. Joan's shoulders sunk and she frowned, genuinely disappointed and sad. "Relax, Joan, you'll get to see him," He said as he began to lead them outside and towards the parking lot that held his car.

"I know," Joan said, halfheartedly dragging her suitcase behind her. "It's just that he's way overdue on getting to meet me. What if he doesn't like me because it's been so long?" She asked, sounding as paranoid as Luke once he got going. Adam tried not to laugh at her and Kevin's smile gave away that he wanted to laugh too.

"Joan…he's barely two months old. All he's concerned with is some warm formula to fill his diaper with every few hours and a good voice to sing him to sleep and rock him," Kevin assured. "I'm sure you'll be a very good aunt in that sense. Now put your stuff in the trunk and get in already. The longer you're angry that I didn't bring my son with me, the longer it's going to take for you to get to see him," He smiled before setting about get into the car. Adam let out a small snicker as he took Joan's bag. Joan frowned; half offended and weakly smacked his shoulder. Adam smiled.

"He has a point," He nodded. Joan pouted and climbed into the front seat. Adam shut the back of the trunk and got into the backseat behind Joan and next to the connecter to Caleb's car seat.

"Good to see you got rid of the wagon," Joan commented looking around Kevin's new black Chevy cobalt sedan. The interior was gray and looked a lot cleaner then Kevin kept his old car which normally had the day's work piled in the backseat, old soda bottles on the floor and various pieces of paper that were meant for the trash.

"Yeah well, it was worth the pain of having to have it installed with all these controls, but hey, much nicer then the clunker," He nodded. "And it fits the kid," He grinned, "What more could a guy want?" He asked as he pulled onto the highway and sped up.

Joan reached over and turned the radio on resulting in the blasting of the middle of an Allman Brothers song that she guessed Kevin had been listening to on the way to get them. She grimaced and laughed.

"I'm glad to see you haven't grown out of your 70's rock phase," She chuckled.

"Are you kidding me? This a _great_ song!" Kevin balanced the wheel with the hand that was just under it on the hand control, regulating the speed and turned up the volume on the radio before returning his hand to steer. Adam was in the backseat bobbing his head and mouthing the words already. Kevin started singing along loudly as Joan laughed at him.

* * *

"We're here!" Kevin called. It was nearly 10pm, and Joan followed Kevin in tiredly. She yawned heavily and Kevin laughed at her. "Spent up your excitement, did you?" He asked Joan nodded as she finished yawning. 

Joan heard numerous footsteps. Some came from the hallway upstairs. Some came from the kitchen. Helen was the first one to reach the foyer, though Luke and Grace were pounding down the stairs in what looked like a race. They barely made it to the bottom without tripping over each other and tumbling the rest of the way down.

"You're home!" Helen gushed as she pulled Joan into a tight embrace. Joan returned the embrace happily.

"Hi mom!" She gushed back.

"Ahem…" Luke said from behind her. "Do we get to greet her today or should we just wait until the New Year?" He spoke up. Grace elbowed him lightly in the ribs.

"Dude, mother and child reunion takes precedence," She said, waving a hand out towards Joan and Helen. "Are you not witnessing this?"

Luke looked at Grace oddly. Grace shrugged under his stare.

"What? Just because I'm not chill with my mom doesn't mean your sister isn't," She excused.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Helen apologized and let Joan go. She wiped her cheeks free of her happy tears. She held her hands up in defense and innocence and Joan only got one step past her when Luke pulled her into a similar embrace.

"Whoa," Joan said as she hugged him back. Not only had Luke gotten taller, even if only slightly, but Joan couldn't remember him being this strong before. She pulled away from him and grabbed his bicep. "Where the heck did you get that, dogboy?" She asked with a grin. Luke smiled and flexed his arm. Joan shook her head. She turned to Grace.

"Hey, Girardi," She said with a half smile. Joan moved to hug her but then stopped herself, though reluctantly, not wanting to start the holiday with Grace pissed at her for showing her emotion. Grace sighed and let a smile stretch across her face. "Oh, fine, come on, get it out of your system," She opened her arms; blushing and trying to hide the fact that she did indeed want to hug Joan. Joan almost squealed in delight and launched herself at Grace. Grace almost stumbled but hugged Joan back.

"Where's dad?" Joan asked her mom when she and Grace broke apart. She noticed Helen momentarily frown but she smiled again trying to conceal something.

"He'll be back shortly." She assured. "Is anyone hungry?"

"Famished," Joan replied.

"Oh yes," Luke said as well. Grace looked at him and shook her head.

"See…" She patted his stomach and started talking like a parent to a baby, "There is a baby in there isn't there?" She said. Luke just smiled.

"Keep laughing," He said as they turned to follow Helen, Joan and Kevin into the dining room. "But I'm telling you when the paternity tests come back, I'm totally suing for child support," He contested. Grace snickered. Joan looked over her shoulder curiously and then leaned closer to Helen.

"They're starting to scare me," Joan whispered. Helen laughed slightly.

"You don't say?" Helen asked. "Well, now you know how I've felt since you've all hit puberty."

"Things to look forward to by Helen Girardi, to hit bookshelves fall 2006," Kevin teased. Helen swiped at his shoulder, but smiled.

"You totally should write a book, mom," Joan replied. Helen laughed.

"Please, I've got enough on my hands then to worry about writing a book that won't sell," She quipped.

"It totally would too sell," Luke said defensively as if Helen had insulted them instead of herself. Helen was about to reply when Lily entered the dining room carrying Caleb in her arms.

"Just in time, guess who just woke up?" She asked, rocking the baby slightly. He looked all about, eyes open wide, listening for each voice that spoke and then trying to find it.

Joan's eyes widened and her face softened immediately. She stood frozen. She'd been waiting for this moment for so long, now that it was here she didn't know what to do. Kevin reached out and gave Joan's back a slight shove.

"Go on, he doesn't bite," Kevin assured.

"That could be because he has no teeth," Luke began. Kevin gave him a slap on the arm.

"Figure of speech, Geek," He said dryly. Lily walked over to Joan because Joan's steps were slow and stiff.

"Here were go Caleb, let's give you to Aunt Joan for a bit, huh?" She cooed to the baby. He kicked his feet and swung a tiny fist in response. Joan cautiously accepted the small baby in her arms. She felt her eyes filling and felt ridiculous for it. She looked down at Caleb as Lily slide her arms free and took a step back.

"Hey there Caleb," She cooed softly at him as she began to let herself sway with him now. "I've been waiting forever to see you," She smiled. Caleb stared at her, his eyes glistening, watching as she spoke. He kicked a few times and swung, emitting a gurgle and a slight tut as she said this. Joan nodded. "Yeah, that's right. You know why? Shhhh, don't let anyone else know but I'm the best relative you've got, kid," She grinned.

"Hey," Luke, Helen and even Grace retorted. Joan laughed.

"See, they know it, that's why they're all offended," She continued to smile. In all of the time she spent imagining the first meeting with her nephew, it didn't live up to this. She knew he would look a little different then his pictures but she hadn't imagined that the pictures would do him such little justice.

* * *

"I was wondering when you'd get home," Joan murmured. She'd fallen almost totally into sleep on the couch waiting for Will to return. He was just getting ready to wake her up so she could go to bed when she'd opened her eyes and spoken up before stretching her limbs. Will smiled at her. He pushed some of her hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead. 

"Welcome home," He smiled at her. "How was your flight?"

"Long," Joan sat up, holding the blanket that was wrapped around her tightly shut around her. Having moderate temperatures in California, she wasn't used to coming home and being ice cold.

"Did you see Caleb?" He asked, still smiling. Joan nodded enthusiastically.

"He's so perfect…and tiny. People always said babies were so tiny, but I really just thought it was a saying," Joan shrugged. "But he was so tiny, and his fingers and his little nose," she held her fingers up only slightly apart as if saying it was that tiny. "Oh he's so cute," She said with an excited shake. Will offered a laugh.

"Well I'm glad your return was a good one," He stood. "Let's go on up to bed," He put his arm around her shoulders as she stood and walked with him.

"You know it was exciting and good and all but it wasn't perfect," She told him.

"No?" Will asked. Joan shook her head.

"Not until now at least," She told him, putting her head down on his shoulder as they walked up the steps and stopped at her door. Will smiled down at her. He kissed her forehead again.

"Get some sleep," He told her. Joan nodded, yawning.

"You too," She ordered. Will nodded and waited for Joan to go into her room and shut the door halfway before heading to his own room.

* * *

"Want to explain to me what we're doing shopping this early on a the Saturday before Christmas?" Grace yawned before taking a big gulp of the coffee she'd bought. 

"For starters I haven't been able to hang out with you since we left, and I have shopping to finish," Joan informed her. She was way too alert for so early in the morning.

"Wouldn't the stores still be here at, I don't know, 10 instead of 7?" Grace replied.

"Ohh, come on Grace! I need your help here!" Joan complained. Grace sighed and rolled her eyes, but offered a half smirk anyway.

"All right, all right already," Grace countered. "Who do you need to buy for?"

"Well, I do need something for Luke," Joan said.

"Well, I don't know. What do you get a science geek turned mini rock star?" Grace laughed.

Joan shrugged. "That's what I brought you for!" She sighed. "What about clothes? He never really buys new clothes does he?"

"Wow, that's a total mom gift, dude," Grace replied. Joan stopped walking and grinned wifely.

"Not if you've got the right present," She smiled and grabbed Grace's forearm, pulling her into the thrift store they were in front of.

"Whoa, Girardi, don't spill my coffee!" Grace pleaded. She needed the caffeine to wake up. Joan let go and Grace followed her as she went about digging for good enough clothes. "So you think getting Luke thrift store clothes is going to be a good present how?"

"In a term?" Joan held up a worn, faded army green T-shirt with cracked faded brownish lettering that had the cursive logo of the band Chicago on it. "Vintage," She nodded, proudly.

"Let me get this straight…" Grace asked, her eyebrow raised. "You're going to makeover your brother…with a bunch of clothes you think band guys wear…for Christmas?"

"Oh…yes, yes I am. He's crying out for it. Come on, you don't honestly think the whole bulking up his muscle mass a little, and wearing more T-shirts than his polo shirts, even though he's only got plain boring colored t-shirts, is because he's horrible at laundry do you?" Joan asked. Grace considered this for a second and was about to answer but Joan interrupted. "Well, I mean he is bad at laundry, but still."

"Do you not remember what happened when I gave him the leather jacket?" Grace asked.

"Oh, he's smarter than that now," Joan said with a wave of her hand as she was looking through more bins and racks. "He'd have to be right?" She shook her head, "Anyway, he needs to look cool if he's leading a band, and I'm sure it would help the band," She suggested. Grace shrugged. Joan was picking out some cool clothes.

"I suppose you're right," She started flipping through racks of jeans that were worn, faded and tattered. "If he doesn't like them, don't blame me."

"Deal," Joan nodded and they continued to rummage about.

* * *

Once they had accumulated over a dozen t-shirts, five or six pairs of jeans, some belts and fun belt buckles, and even a couple of hats, they lugged their finds up to the counter. Grace had also found some shirts and accessories for herself. She dug through one last bin of accessories and found some leather bracelets, watches and a black leather chord necklace with little metal cube letters on it. It spelled out the word 'gracious' on it. Grace smirked to herself and added the items to her pile. 

"Well hello lady…and Marge," The cashier said. Joan and Grace looked up from their conversation about old music and stared at Friedman in shock. Grace smirked at him, crossing her arms.

"Friedman?" Joan asked, wanting to make sure it was him. His normal Afro head of hair was gone and his hair looked like it was just growing back from being completely shaven. He was wearing blue tinted sunglasses over his eyes and a knowing smirk.

"That would indeed be me," Friedman nodded, ringing their items up. Joan and grace exchanged glances.

"So…" Joan said. Grace refused to speak because not only did she have nothing to say, but also she'd also already been insulted by Friedman and could honestly say she wasn't in the mood to deal with him. _What a way to wreck your day,_ she thought to herself. "How's school?" Joan continued to ask. She didn't seem to notice the glimmer of emotion that briefly flashed across Friedman's eyes before he smiled.

"Perfect," He lied. "Couldn't be better. And you? Still joining crazy clubs and what not?" Friedman asked. Joan snorted as she laughed at this.

"No. Well not exactly," Joan explained. Friedman looked at Grace.

"And you little miss Feminazi?" He looked her up and down. "Softening your look I see. Still have the navel piercing?"

"First of all I told you years ago not to talk about my navel. Second of all, ring up my purchase and stop making small talk," Grace said stonily. Joan glanced between Grace and Friedman.

"I never did like you much," Friedman chuckled. Grace rolled her eyes at this.

"I never care," She said, feeling a tightening in her stomach muscles. It wasn't so much a stomach pain, more the kind of tightening you get when a situation just feels wrong.

"Whatever you say," He put his hands up defensively for a second, "the customer's always right after all." He finished the tally. "That's $33.42." He told them.

Grace and Joan dug into their belongings and came out with $35 between them and then forked it over. Grace let Joan take the change and she grabbed their bag.

"Later," Friedman waved.

"Bye Friedman," Joan said. Grace offered a fleeting wave. Once they left the store, Joan spoke up. "What was that all about?" She asked.

Grace shrugged. "I don't know. He was being a jerk." She replied. Joan nodded. "So, who else do you have to buy for?" Grace changed the subject.

"Kevin, Dad and Caleb," She grinned.

"Okay, what stores then?" Grace asked. She wanted to get back to the Girardi house. Luke would be home; maybe he would go with her to the hospital. She wasn't sure she wanted to go alone.

"Music store, Restaurant store, then toy store and bookstore," Joan said. Grace sighed quietly. She wasn't going to get home anytime soon then.

* * *

Grace got to the hospital around 2pm. Glynis had shown up at the Girardi house around noon, to Luke and Grace's surprise, with Sweet Lou in toe. Adam had appeared shortly afterwards and after introductions went around, the six of them had gone out to get some lunch. Afterwards, since they were closer, Grace opted to just walk to the hospital. Luke had offered to go with her, but Grace had assured him that she'd be fine and that if it were late she would call to have him pick her up. The rest of the group had decided to wander around, despite how cold it was out and waste time until dinner at the Girardi house, which Glynis and Sweet Lou were invited to. 

When Grace reached her mother's room she peered through the blinds of the window. To her dismay she found that her mother was awake inside. She felt a pang of guilt for being upset that her mother was awake but she honestly didn't want to have to carry on a conversation with Sarah. She was about to turn tail and run when Sarah's head lifted and peered Grace through the window. A tiny smile came to Sarah's lips and she lifted a weak hand and waved Grace in. Grace sighed.

Pushing open the room's door open, Grace stepped across the threshold and let the door shut behind her. She took a few uneasy steps towards the side of Sarah's bed and the chair she'd sat in a few weeks ago.

"Oh, Gracie, how are you? It's been so long since I've seen you, since before summer I suspect," He mother said with a small smile. Grace looked at her furrowing her brow.

"I saw you at Thanksgiving," Grace said. Sarah's face fell slightly and Grace realized that Sarah hadn't remembered this event. As she thought about this, Grace's anger began to rise and she fought to control it.

"Gracie, please don't be mad at me-,"

Grace cut Sarah off with dry laughter. "Be mad at you mom? Gee, what would make you think I was mad at you?" She asked, trying still to quell the fury and pain within her. Sarah's face contorted.

"Gracie we need to talk about some things," She pointed to the chair. "Why don't you sit and I'll start explaining," Sarah suggested. Grace snickered, "I'd rather stand. I have a feeling your fleeting excuses will make me want to leave and find the nearest bathroom to puke in out of disgust."

Sarah nodded. "You have every right to be angry, Gracie."

"Oh do I? Well I'm glad I have your approval after all these years," Grace crossed her arms. "So, what? You have to spend time in the hospital and since all that time you didn't drink you think you've figured the big mystery out? I'll tell you what it is, you don't give a damn about what you do and look where it's gotten you," She seethed.

"I'm here because of Ryan-,"

"Yeah, _this_ time you are," Grace said coldly. "What about all the other times? What about the first time, when I was 9? Huh? What about that? Do you remember that? No, you remember waking up in a hospital bed barely remembering or being able to utter your own name. Do you know what I remember about that though?" She demanded. "Huh? Do you?" She growled.

"No…" Sarah shook her head meekly, freely crying now as Grace paced and screamed.

"I remember being sent to my room for the night at 6pm so you could keep drinking. I remember coming to the bathroom at 8pm and finding the toilet seat up and your face down in the bowl of water, vomit and blood, choking! I remember begging you to wake up while I was on the phone with the paramedics! I remember getting thrown out of the bathroom when you came too and thought I'd been the one to make the mess! I remember hitting my head on the banister when you threw me out of the bathroom! I remember you falling down the steps because you couldn't walk straight! Mom! I remember crying in the back of a police cruiser with an officer while his partner drove behind the ambulance! I remember being alone in the waiting room for six hours because dad was out of town and couldn't get there any sooner! I remember that even when he got there I was still alone because he was more concerned about YOU than what you did to me!" She screamed.

"Gracie…" Sarah pleaded.

"NO!" Grace screamed, enraged. Her face was red and her teeth gritted as she glared at her mother. "Are you upset?" Sarah nodded. "Are you hurt?" Sarah nodded again. "Do you feel let down? Betrayed? Mortified? Ashamed? Broken? Guilty? Defenseless? Horrified? Tormented?" Sarah nodded again, her tears soaking into the top of her hospital issue gown now. "GOOD!" Grace screamed. "I can't remember the last time before I was 16 when I didn't feel all of those feelings every second of every day of my life! AND," She cut Sarah off from speaking again. "When I finally did feel safe, and loved and happy, do you know what you did? Huh? Answer me! Do you?" She demanded. Sarah shook her head. "I can't hear you!" Grace screamed.

"No…" Sarah said. "Wha-what did I d-d-do?" She asked timidly.

"You did nothing but belittle and torment me about my reason for happiness. You made me seriously doubt whether or not I really was happy. I thought that maybe, just maybe I wasn't meant to BE happy ever in my life. And for a while, knowing just how stupid a thought it was, I wanted to die, mom. And in those moments…" Grace's voice lowered now, with her head as she continued to cry, having started halfway through her screaming fit. She breathed heavily, pangs of guilt slashing into her as she tried to speak. "I hated you," She met her mother's crying eyes with her own. "Do you know…how much it hurts…to truly feel…like you hate your own mother?" She demanded. Sarah stared at her, aghast. "And you know what else? I don't even know how to fix myself?" She laughed desperately now, ending in almost sobs. "How am I supposed to heal the wounds you inflicted? I can barely even let the one person who truly cares about me in most of the time and the next second I close off to him." Grace almost snickered at herself. Her shoulders began to shake. She shook her head.

"Forget it…it doesn't matter," She said, turning and heading for the door.

"Gracie…" Sarah choked out. "Please," She begged. "Please don't go."

Grace stopped. She took a few deep breaths and turned around. She slowly, against her own better judgment, walked back over and lowered herself into the chair, too drained and weary now to remain standing. Sarah watched Grace for a long time. Grace did everything to avoid eye contact with her mother, too ashamed after screaming at her mom and admitting she'd at some or most times hated her mother. She wiped fiercely at her face to dry her tears.

Finally, after nearly twenty minutes, Sarah had composed herself enough to speak.

"You…have never once deserved to have as horrible a mother as me, Gracie…" Sarah took a deep breath. "I'm not trying to give you excuses. I just want to…to tell you…there are things you need to know, Gracie," Sarah said. Grace let her eyes meet Sarah's and listened intently as her mother spoke.

* * *

"I want you to leave them alone, Ryan," Cute Boy God stated. Ryan looked up from the billiard table where he was aiming at the cue ball. He only let his eyes look up to acknowledge that he'd been spoken to. He grinned widely at God, who was standing at the other end of the pool table with his hands in his pockets. 

"And just what are you going to do about?" Ryan asked with a wicked grin. He shot the cue ball making sure it hopped off the table at God. Cute Boy God deftly caught it and put it back on the table.

"There comes a time when even the mightiest shall fall, Ryan," God told him. "I may not be able to do anything to you now, but when the time comes," He stepped close so he and Ryan were face to face. "I'll be the one who judges you. Do you really want to wager that you'll redeem yourself? I know what you're planning Ryan."

"Save your speeches for someone who cares," Ryan tossed the stick down on the pool table, staring God down.

"It's not like you can do anything about it, G-Dawg," Ryan grinned. "After all, you can't directly interfere. And, you gave that little savior of yours such vague clues that she'll never figure it out on time," He laughed derisively, putting his sunglasses on as he started to head for the door of the pub he was in. He turned around and gave God a wink and a gun with his hand. "See you on the front lines," He said, and then as if reconsidering this he grinned. "Oh wait…no I won't." He grinned evilly one last time, pulling his sunglasses down to his nose. "I'll see your martyrs on the front lines." He winked and pushed his sunglasses up all the way before turning and leaving. He tossed an obnoxious backwards wave towards God as he laughed and walked out the door.

**

* * *

A/N: **All right, so what do you think? This would have been up sooner, however, I recently got the game 'Destroy All Humans!' and it's hilarious. Plus, you know, I'm a slow reader and I got Harry Potter so…little bits at a time my friends. Moving on…Did this suck? I hope not. It's more just leading up as usual. Extra long though. Let me know what sucks and what doesn't.

Chapter title from 'Crawling' By Linkin' Park.

**Responses: Special Shout Out **to Laura who is on vacation but still dropped a line. Dude, have fun on vacation, don't use a computer! Go explore! Don't forget to e-mail me!** Jane and Adam – **So you like the multiple updates eh? I'll try and keep 'em coming for ya! **Sayxanything – **Wow, well I hope I can keep up making each new chapter your favorite. Starts to sweat a little at the pressure Heh, heh…I always thought that deep down Friedman was evil, he just needed a catalyst to get him going! Dude…the best thing to do when you're driving in rush hour traffic is to turned down the windows and blare Mmmbop while singing along loudly, because seriousy, the way people look at you is funny AND sometimes people sing along! Anyway…) **MDM79 AKA Michelle – **G/L is my specialty…or so I'd like to think. The geode scene is one of my favorites too because you knew the whole time it was going to happen but still you felt yourself going "just kiss him already! Enough with the denial!" Thanks on the J/A sunset scene and Ryan/Friedman conundrum ) P.S. – GASP! You've never heard it? WHAT? Tear…have you found it an heard it yet? If not we must find it for you…! About your being a slacker reviewer, in the worlds of old Bartles and Jaymes commercials: AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! **Audrey – **Muahahahaha! Apparently cliffhangers are my specialty. Friedman's gonna (insert spoiler here…NOT!) I thought people would like the tuna part. It really is a synonym for handsome! My family got used to that ages ago too, by the way! Dude you make me happy with all your updates, seriously! **Kool-Wolf – **Dude! Thanks! I hate you back, yo! Rubbing off on me? Pssssh, please! Although…I do sense the inner evil starting to blossom…hmm…GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU FOE! Yeah…I shouldn't blame deprivation, it was a weak moment what can I say? Define freak, by the way. As for the spooking, d'nile ain't just a river in Egypt, punk. Brat of nature? What's that? A Poor substitute for freak of nature? I hate you and…see no, I just can't say it. **Anti-Like-Grace – **Consider Friedman roped in! Thanks! Honestly I don't know how I do it either. I keep thinking everyone's going to turn around and review telling me I suck for each new chapter. Every time I'm surprised! Ah, the miracles won't be plentiful. I'll try and be as real as possible. Thank you! **ProcrastinationQueen – **On the Ryan/Friedman front, you're right, one's tricky and no one will suspect the other one, sick isn't it? I'll keep up the A/J stuff of course. ) any suggestion or anything you want to see on that front? **Coveredinrain16 – **Hey, the J/A front is going to get intense, just you wait! YES! No one has responded to that part of my A/N before! Read on wit you bad self my friend! I'm glad I'm your favorite, that means a lot yo, thanks! **Sam – **Hello, hello. Thanks on the props for the hospital scene. I was hoping it wasn't too descriptive because of the lack of talking in it. Ah, I have a plan for the rabbi, just you wait. Parents do suck sometimes, I agree. Hey man, babies puke lol. Like I said, tuna really is a synonym for handsome! ) Like I've said before…Luke's getting a little to perfect, I think he needs to mess up, I just don't know how yet. There's still more to come on the Fleur front too, not just the random part at the diner, just fyi. Lol, the X-files things stems from a friend of mine. He tries to stay up and watch the reruns but the theme song literally puts him to sleep! Definitely a good way to sleep, I think. Evil 'fro man is unexpected, eh? ) Things are about to heat up…any suggestions before they do?

**Thank you all! Much love to ya (except the punk! Much loathe!)**


	12. Help Me Unravel My Latest Mistake

**Holds Me Together  
Rating:** T-M Just in case  
**Disclaimer:** You know the drill.  
**A/N:** I love you people! You make my day! Sorry for the proofreading as always. **FYI: My responses to reviews are at the bottom of each chapter instead of the top. **Read on with yo bad self, now!

It should be noted that I mostly work on this story when I can't sleep so that I can quell my insomnia. (It usually doesn't work but anyway) that's why my updates wind up being so late at night. Moving on, read my P.S. at the end of the chapter, I need your opinions. Thanks...Read on...!

**

* * *

Chapter 12 – Help Me Unravel My Latest Mistake**

"Good morning," Luke muttered, entering the kitchen on the morning of Christmas Eve. He was still bleary eyed and sleep ridden and really didn't expect anyone to reply to him considering they never did in the morning. He caught a whiff of the saccharine aroma of cookies and rubbed his eyes and face in an attempt to wake his brain up. "Are you making cookies at…" He looked at the clock, "six in the morning?" He asked. When Luke looked up through blurry eyes, having not yet put contacts in and neglecting to put his glasses on, and noted three figures with dark hair standing near the oven.

One of them turned and grabbed a plate of what looked and smelled like chocolate chip cookies out to him as she walked over. Luke squinted and then smiled.

"Hey Lily," He said, reaching out to take a cookies. Suddenly Helen's hand swooped down and swatted at him.

"Not before breakfast," She said sternly. Lily blushed and retreated.

"Okay, okay, my bad," She said innocently.

Joan closed the oven as she laughed at them. She reached into a box on the counter and pulled out a shiny silver package, tossing it at Luke who barely managed to catch it. He looked at it and laughed.

"Wow, you didn't devour them all for once?" He joked. Joan walked over and shoved his shoulder, plopping herself down into the seat adjacent to him.

"Watch it dogboy," She warned. "Consider it a Christmas present," she retorted. Luke chuckled as he bit into his poptart.

Luke managed to finish the breakfast pastry in a few bites. He heard murmuring and Lily rejoined them carrying Caleb.

"Okay, who wants to keep you company, huh?" She asked the baby. Luke and Joan raced out of their chairs as Helen and Lily laughed at them.

"Hey, you hogged him for the past two days he was here!" Luke complained.

"You got to hog him way more then me, I've been across the country!" Joan shot back. They stared each other down for a second. "Rock, paper, scissors," Joan challenged. Luke stared at her. Most of the time she beat him at this game.

"Best out of three," He said, preparing his hands. Lily had walked over to stand next to Helen, both watching the spectacle before them.

"Are they really sparring over my son?" Lily asked. Helen nodded.

"Oh yes, they definitely are." She said.

"One, two, three, go!" Joan called. She frowned and Luke cheered as he came out with rock and Joan came out with scissors. Joan counted off again. This time she won't with paper over rock. Both of them looked intently at the other as Joan counted off one more time.

"YES!" Joan threw her fists up in triumph. "Rock beats scissors, oh yeah, I won, boo-yah…" Joan sung as she danced around Luke jubilantly. Luke sat back down defeated. Lily handed Caleb over to Joan.

"Has anyone seen Grace?" Luke asked, now taking a cookie without getting reprimanded.

"She said she was going for a run," Joan said, sounding a mused. "I wasn't aware she ran outside of gym class," She chuckled before making faces and talking to Caleb in a baby voice.

Luke simply nodded. He would have asked where Kevin and his dad were, being that Lily and Caleb were here but Luke was willing to bet that they were in the garage working on the boat. It was nearly finished, finally, after so long.

"Anything I can help with?" Luke asked, standing up and walking over to Helen, who was mixing batter.

* * *

"Grace? What are you doing here?" He asked her tiredly. 

"Well, I wouldn't expect you to be at home," Grace asked with her arms crossed as she walked further into the kitchen. "But then again mom and I aren't here so where else would you be?"

"Grace, there's no need for us to fight," the Rabbi began to speak. Grace rolled her eyes.

"I'm not here to fight," She retorted, "I'm here to pick up a few things and then I'm leaving."

Her father followed her to the steps.

"Do you really expect me to let you just come and go here without answering for your actions?" He asked from the bottom of the stairs. Grace turned and stared at him for a moment in what looked almost like bewildered amusement.

"What actions are those exactly?" She asked him.

"The way you treated your mother at Thanksgiving. Your constant rude implications to your mother and I. Never willing to budge and compromise with us." He started counting off what he thought were her offenses. "You complete abandonment of this family," He finished, crossing his arms.

Grace stared at her father for a moment. She was momentarily at a loss for words towards him. She remembered when she used to think that he would be the one to save her. He was always calm, collected and supportive. He gave good advice when he was around long enough to give it. Now, though, Grace felt nothing but disappointment.

She slowly descended the stairs until she was on the second one, eye level with her father.

"I'm not the one who abandoned this family," She said plainly. She turned on her heel and marched up the stairs. "I'll be gone in under ten minutes. Time me," She disappeared up the hallway.

* * *

"Hey, I'm just calling to see if you're all right," Luke said into the phone. Grace had been gone since before he woke up. Now it was 11am and she still wasn't back. "Call me when you can?" He asked hopefully before hanging up. 

"Everything all right?" Joan asked as she came into the living room and flopped down on the couch at the opposite end of Luke. She flipped the TV on as she dug into a bag of Cheetos. Luke put his head back on the couch and sighed. He was somewhere just passed worried but he wasn't sure if he should go out looking for Grace or not.

"Just waiting for Grace," He shrugged.

"What, no last minute presents to wrap?" Joan eyed him.

"Unlike _some_ people, I got my shopping done early," Luke smirked at her.

"Hey, you can only fit so much in a suitcase for a plane without having to pay to store it, genius," Joan replied. Luke nodded, egging Joan on.

"Sure, I bet that's the reason," He nodded sarcastically. He reached out to the photo album she'd brought home for their mom and began to flip trough it. "So which one is the one you like?" He asked when he came to a picture of two girls with a label at the bottom of the picture which read 'the roommates.' Joan craned her neck to see the picture and laughed.

"That one's Jo," She pointed to Johana. Luke smirked slightly at the scowl on Colby's face.

"So that's the nasty one?" He asked. Joan nodded. Luke offered a slight nod. "I guess we lucked out in the roommate depart better than you," He continued. Joan shrugged.

"Adam got a good roommate. But you're right." She laughed slightly. "Sweet Lou is pretty cool," She agreed. "He seems to have brought out a whole other side to Glynis," She laughed. Luke laughed slightly.

"Yeah…she's gotten a little…wild, I guess?" He asked. Joan nodded.

"I love her tattoo though," She said. Luke laughed harder and nodded.

"You and Grace both," He replied. They continued to talk about the people in the pictures until Luke's cell phone started to buzz to life.

Luke pushed a button and put it to his ear.

"Hello?" He asked, glancing at the clock over the TV.

"Hey," Grace said shortly. "Could you come pick me up?"

"Sure," Luke replied, standing up and searching his pockets. Joan eyed him curiously until he found the keys he was looking for. "Where are you?" Luke asked.

"Hospital," Grace replied, much to Luke's shock.

"Okay. I'll be there in as soon as I can," He told her.

"Okay," Grace said. They both hung up.

"Where's she at?" Joan asked, now flipping through her own photos with a slight smile.

"She's at the hospital," Luke said strangely.

"She went to see her mom?" Joan asked. Luke nodded. "Huh…I didn't think she would go back there after last night," Joan mused, remembering Grace appearing in time for dinner but going upstairs to fix her disheveled appearance before joining everyone. Luke flinched slightly at the memory but Grace hadn't volunteered any information about what had happened at the hospital when he'd asked later in the evening and Luke had thought better than to force it out of her. He shrugged.

"I'll be back," Luke said as he made his way to the door.

"Careful dogboy, it's supposed to snow," She called after him.

* * *

He watched from the parking lot, letting his truck idle to keep the inside of the cab warm. Grace was sitting on a bench that was off to the left side of the doors of the hospital. Relatives carried presents as they made their way inside the hospital on their way in to visit. Grace sat very still, staring at the ground. Ryan watched her. He could see she was deep in thought. Her brow was knitted tensely together, and her hands gripped the front of the bench that she was sitting on. Her arms were stretched taut, as if they were the only things keeps her from keeling forward onto the cold pavement. 

He could have made his move on her then but what good would it do? It would hurt more the way he planned it. Besides, if he went after her now, she might get away and then the 'authorities' would have an accurate description of him. He was more then aware that Sarah couldn't recall enough details of what Ryan had looked like. He cussed inwardly. He had taken too long getting his mother liquored and drugged up before dropping her off and as a result, whomever had found her-presumably that Rabbi-had gotten her to the hospital in enough time for them to save her. No doubt they'd pumped her stomach, meaning some of the drugs hadn't had enough time to affect her.

Ryan snapped back to reality. A car double-parked in front of where Grace was sitting. He could barely see her over it. He recognized Joan's brother, Grace's boyfriend, as he climbed out of the car and approached her. He grabbed that duffle bag that was at her feet and held his hand out to her. Ryan watched Grace look at him blankly for a minute before letting him escort her to the car. He noted that he'd never seen Grace move this stiffly and numbly.

Once they had pulled away, Ryan turned his truck off. He grabbed a wrapped present from the seat next to him and got out of the truck.

"Get this show on the road," He said to himself as he strolled into the hospital. He knew what room to go to and made no stop on the way. Once there, he checked to make sure she was awake before bursting through the door.

"Hey, ma!" He grinned. Sarah froze and stared at him. He chuckled at her. "What, you're surprised to see me?"

Sarah shook, wide-eyed and terrified. She was just beginning to get the feeling and movement back in her arms when she made a move to hit the nurse call button. Ryan was faster then her, blocking her finger from hitting the button. He wagged his index finger at her and shook his head.

"Uh-uh-uh," He smiled, "is that anyway to treat a visiting son?"

Sarah stared at him. Ryan held up his other hand, which was holding the present. "I even brought you a Christmas present," He grinned cheekily at her. "Ohhhh, wait…you're Jewish, that's right. Well I didn't have a Jewish upbringing, so you'll have to take it as the thought that counts won't you?" He set the gift down on her lap and firmly patted her shoulder. "You have fun with that," He winked and left before Sarah could bring herself to speak.

* * *

Luke pulled up and saw Grace was waiting outside the hospital, seated on a bench. He put on his blinkers and climbed out of the car. As he approached her, he reached down and grabbed the duffle bag that was next to her. 

"What's this?" He asked, holding his hand out for her. Grace looked up at him. Her face was void of any readable emotion. She shook her head and stood up.

"From my house," She spoke up as he followed her around to the passenger door, gripping it and opening it for her before she could even reach out. Luke tossed her bag in the back and went around and climbed in the other side.

"Joan said you went for a run," He said as he began to drive. Grace put her head back, closing her eyes for a few seconds and then opening them again.

"I did…originally," She said, reaching out and turning the heater up. "I zoned out, came back and was outside my house," She shrugged. "So I went in to get some things. Dad was there. I went to finish a conversation with my mom afterwards."

Luke nodded. "Is everything all right?" He asked nonchalantly. Grace almost smirked, but refrained.

"How early did they start cooking?" Grace changed the subject expertly. Luke tried to hide a frown. He started telling Grace about him and Joan fighting over Caleb, and the cookies. Grace listened and nodded, laughing at the fact that Luke had yet again lost to Joan at rock, paper, scissors.

"Lily and mom were just starting dinner stuff when I left. Joan was taking a break though. She said her stomach was bothering her," Luke explained. Grace nodded and then squinted her eyes in thought.

"She said that when we were shopping too," She said aloud. Luke thought about this for a moment but just shrugged. Grace shrugged as well. "I'm starving," She said after her stomach rumbled. Luke was about to respond when he cell phone began to ring. He glanced at Grace.

"Can you get that for me?" He held his right arm up to lift his jacket pocket in the air. "It's in my pocket," He said. Grace dug around in the pocket and pulled the phone out, looking at the caller ID before answering it.

"Hey Charlie," She said into the phone.

"Grace? Hey, Merry Christmas and all that garbage. I thought I called Luke?" Charlie asked.

"You too," Grace managed. "You did, but he's driving. Got a message for me to pass on?"

"Yeah," Charlie spoke quickly. Grace looked at Luke.

"Charlie says they got an offer to play New Year's Eve in Baltimore from 6pm until 8pm and then here in Arcadia from 9:30 until 1am," Grace recounted the story to Luke, her eyes widening before she continued. "He says everyone'll get $2000 a piece for the night."

Luke was glad he'd just stopped at red light because his mouth dropped and he stared straight ahead. He looked at Grace.

"Seriously?" He asked. Grace nodded. "What do you think?"

Grace shrugged. "Sounds like fun?" She asked.

"Oh come on, you've gotta say yes!" Charlie yelled loudly. Luke heard Charlie as Grace yanked the phone from her ear in pain. "Come on! We've got Kit's van to come down in! Fleur and Rails said they'd even come down! We'd just need a floor to crash on until the morning." Charlie yelled into the phone.

"First of all, stop shouting!" Luke yelled as Grace held the phone up for him. "Second of all, book it and I'll okay it with my mom for everyone to crash here," He said. "I'll call you later about it, okay?"

"Yes!" Charlie cheered. "Awesome! Later! Merry Christmas you guys!" He said before hanging up.

"You're mom's so not going to go for that," Grace spoke up.

Luke grinned. "Of course she will…once I tell her how much money I get for it, and that it's already booked she'll have to," He said. "Besides, everyone'll fit on the floor in the living room. It'll only be for the night."

"Two cities, one night, sheesh, you'd think you guys were more then a cover band," Grace said.

"Hey, maybe we are…or are going to be," Luke grinned. Grace studied him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked. Luke shrugged.

"I'll guess you'll see on New Year's," He said mysteriously. Grace laughed.

"If I hear a song about molecules, I'll know who to blame?" She asked.

"Something like that," Luke nodded as he parked out front of the Girardi house.

* * *

By 5pm, the house was alive with Christmas music. Grace had been the last to be able to get a shower and was just finishing up getting ready. She had to admit, despite the fact that she didn't exactly celebrate Christmas; she had grown accustomed to Christmas Eve dinner at the Girardi house. She liked the music, even when any of them started singing it. She loved the fact that everyone was happy on this night, just to be around each other. A strange tingling feeling was creeping over Grace. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

"Hey," Luke said, knocking on the doorframe as he stood in the doorway. Grace jumped, startled.

"Sneaking up on people is not cool," She told him.

"I'll remember that," He smiled. "Dinner's done."

Grace nodded and walked over, following Luke out the door. When they reached the dining room, where the kitchen table was side by side with the dining room table, Grace and Luke squeezed into two open seats. Lily was to Grace's right, and was just finishing burping Caleb. She looked famished but sat holding Caleb. Her plan was to eat in shift with Kevin. Grace glanced around. Everyone, including Adam and his father, were digging hungrily into the dishes on the table.

"Do you want me to take him for a while so you can eat?" Grace asked before she could stop herself.

"Oh, no, you go on and eat, Grace," Lily said, almost forcing herself. Kevin looked up.

"Here, you eat, I'll take him," Kevin reached reluctantly for Caleb.

"Really, I'm not as hungry as you two probably are," Grace persisted. She knew they would give up eventually. After five more minutes, Lily and Kevin relented and Grace found herself handling Caleb again. She found that she felt less nervous this time, however.

"I got it," Joan exclaimed when the doorbell rang. She hopped out of her chair, throwing the last piece of her biscuit in her mouth and chewing it as she wiped her hands and headed for the door. She opened it, half expecting God to be there.

"Hello, Joan,"

Joan stared wide-eyed at the man in front of her. She reached out a hand and tapped his shoulder. He looked at her strangely. Thinking back to the summer, she didn't know whether to hug him or attack him.

"Merry Christmas to you too?" He asked, perplexed, holding his arms open, hoping for a hug. Joan decided that it wasn't his fault that he knew the spawn of Satan and she hugged him.

"We're just sitting down to eat," She cleared her throat, "Do you want to come in?"

"Uh…yes, yeah that would be good," He stated.

"Joan, who is it?" Will asked, coming from the dining room. He stopped awkwardly upon seeing Richard. His younger brother was standing there with an over sized bag in his hand. "Richard," Will said, "What brings you here?" He asked. Richard offered up a small smile.

"Brenda, took the kids to Nashville to see their parents for the holidays," He explained. "I figured I would bring these presents down tonight since I've got to work tomorrow."

"Working on Christmas Day? Now there's evil for you," Joan chuckled.

"Well," Will spoke up. He extended his hand to Richard. "Why don't you come in and join us for dinner? We just sat down," Will offered. Richard smiled and shook his hand. "Joan take that bag from him and put it by the tree," Will instructed. Joan nodded and took the bag. Will led Richard into the loud dining room. Joan lingered for a minute before rejoining everyone.

* * *

"Wake up!" Joan yelled through the hallways in the morning. "Come on wake up!" She banged on her parents' bedroom door and then made her way to Luke's room. "Get up you two! It's the morning!" She pounded. 

"Oh God, it's like summer…" Grace grumbled from Luke's chest. Her head bounced up and down as he laughed.

"Come on, I hear you two!" Joan continued to call.

"You're gonna hear my foot up your ass if you don't quit it, Girardi!" Grace called back.

"I'll take that into account the next time you need me!" Joan replied through the door.

"Which is never!" Grace teased back. Joan seemed to give up and they heard her singing a Christmas Carol on the way down the steps. Luke and Grace sat up and stretched. Luke searched for his pajama bottoms and pulled them over his underwear. He quickly found a T-shirt to throw on. Grace located one of his sweatshirts and pulled it over her shirt.

"Hang on a minute," Grace said before they left Luke's room. Luke turned to face her.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Grace shook her head and laughed lightly. She leaned over into her messenger bag and dug out a small oddly shaped wrapped package.

"Nothing," She shrugged slightly. "I just wanted to give you this up here," She handed him the present, blushing slightly. Luke looked at it in his hand and then at Grace suspiciously. "Well don't just stand there, open it, brain."

Luke unraveled the wrapping paper and crumpled it into the trashcan before looking down at the treasure now lying in his hand. The rough surface of a rock rubbed against the skin of his hand as he smiled down at the turquoise geode he was holding. Grace watched him nervously.

"So yeah, let's head down then," She moved to pass him and head out the door. Luke caught her arm and pulled her to him, placing his lips down upon hers. Grace relaxed against him and returned the kiss.

"Get your butts down here so we can eat!" Joan demanded from the bottom of the steps after a few minutes had passed. Luke and Grace pulled apart, their faces still close together. Luke smiled.

"Thank you," He said. Grace nodded, smiling just slightly back.

"Merry Christmas, brain," She said before they turned to follow Joan's command to go eat.

* * *

By 11am, everyone had finished eating and had joined in cleaning up. They went into the living room and started watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas on TV while they waited for Lily, Kevin and Caleb to arrive. By the time the credits were rolling and everyone was just about asleep again, the front door burst open. Kevin rolled in. 

"Merry Christmas, the king of presents had arrived!" He called, rolling down into the living room.

"How the heck could you see over that?" Joan asked trying to look around the huge pile of gifts in Kevin's lap. Kevin grinned as Grace, Luke and Helen started taking the gifts away from his lap.

"X-ray vision, sis," He said. Joan snickered at him.

"Sure, I see how it is, forget all about Caleb when there's presents involved," Lily said as she shut the door behind her and entered the living room smiling. Within seconds, she was surrounded by Joan and Luke and even behind them was Grace. All three of them were trying to talk to Caleb at once, waving small stuffed animals at him and funny shaped rattles as he sucked on his pacifier and stared at them. Grace smirked as Lily laughed.

"There! You see that!" She said, "Right now he's thinking 'I've got you right where I want you, yeeeesssssss…victory is mine!'" She imitated Stewie from Family Guy.

"No way he's thinking 'my aunt Joan's the best!'" Joan cooed at him. Luke rolled his eyes.

"Hey, are we gonna trash the living room with wrapping paper or what?" Kevin rubbed his hands together.

The volume in the room grew substantially as everyone dove for presents and handed them back and forth to each other. Helen was permanently attached to a camera snapping pictures. Will was taking a long awaited turn with his grandson, holding Caleb up above his head and making baby noises at him and making plane noises as he moved Caleb through the air.

Lily and Joan were exchanging presents and talking swiftly back and forth but Grace couldn't hear what they were talking about. Luke and Kevin were talking about a video game Luke had just gotten. Helen was just getting in to opening her presents, having passed the camera off to Lily who was snapping pictures now almost as fiercely as Helen had been.

Everyone was so worked up that Grace was the only one who noticed Joan's color draining. In fact, Joan looked like she was starting to turn green. She covered her lips momentarily with her fingertips and swallowed hard.

"Hey, you okay, Girardi?" Grace leaned closer to ask this.

"Me? Oh, yeah, I'm fine, really," Joan nodded. Grace looked at her skeptically. Joan lurched slightly and her voice tightened. "Except that I'm gonna be sick," She quickly got up and rushed out. Grace looked around. The only other person who was paying attention was Luke. Grace exchanged a look with him before she went and followed Joan.

* * *

"Girardi?" She rapped on the bathroom door. She heard the toilet flush and the sink water running. A few moments later the door swung open. Grace leaned in the doorframe and looked suspiciously at Joan who was sitting on the closed toilet seat with her hand on her forehead. She took a deep breath and let it out shakily, using the wet rag from the sink to wipe her forehead and the back of her neck. "Soooo…you've been sick for a couple days now?" 

"It's nothing. I just ate too much for breakfast and then you know all the excitement," Joan explained quickly with a wave of her hand.

"Riiiiiiight," Grace said, her arms crossed. "And I have brown hair," She retorted. Joan looked at her wearily.

"Grace, I'm fine really," Joan tried to sound convincing.

"Really? You don't look fine," Grace replied. "You look like you're gonna pass out actually." Grace stated plainly. Joan chewed on the corner of her lip. Grace narrowed her eyes slightly, contemplating.

"What?" Joan asked, squirming under Grace's gaze. Grace walked over and saw on the edge of the tub, looking at Joan.

"How long?" Grace asked Joan directly. Joan's eyes flared for a second. She laughed nervously.

"I told you, I just ate too much," She nodded. Grace nodded slowly, knowingly and Joan put her head down in her hands. Grace stretched her leg out and shut the door of the bathroom to assure they wouldn't quite be overheard.

"Adam know?" Grace asked. Joan snorted.

"I don't even know," She said.

Grace looked at her. "What?" She asked. Joan was vaguely aware that Grace had raised her hand and was rubbing it soothingly along Joan's back. It struck her as odd, but her mind raced to other matters quickly. She raised her head and turned it to look at Grace. She hunched her shoulders up.

"I don't even know," She sighed. "At least not for sure."

"Ohh…" Grace said, understanding now. "Oh…" She nodded. Joan put her head back down in her hands and sighed. "Hey, it'll be okay. Maybe you just have the flu or something?" Grace suggested. "Why don't we not freak out about it for now, and we'll figure something out later tonight when everyone's busy?" She asked. Joan looked at Grace.

"We?" She asked. Grace nodded.

"Do you think I'm that awful?" She asked Joan. Joan shook her head.

"No…not at all, I just…" She looked at Grace and sighed. "Thanks."

Grace nodded.

"Come on, before they notice," She stood and Joan followed her back down to the living room. Luke approached Joan with Caleb.

"I figured you might want to hog him since I've been hogging for an hour," He held Caleb out to Joan. Grace watched. Joan stared at Caleb for a long few minutes before taking the baby into her arms and heading off to walk around with him a bit.

"What's up with her?" Luke questioned.

"Uhh, nothing?" Grace said. "So how do you like your 'rock star' clothes?" Grace asked leading Luke back into the living room. Luke laughed.

"They're cool," He began to talk about the clothes, despite the fact that he knew she was aware of what clothes he'd gotten since half of them were from her. Grace sighed briefly, happy to derail Luke's curiosity about Joan.

* * *

"Is everything ready?" Ryan asked into the phone. 

"Yes," Friedman replied simply. "Look, I've got to go."

"You'll go when I say you can," Ryan said sternly. "Now listen. I want to go for it on New Year's Eve, after midnight."

"I'm busy on New Year's-,"

"I know you are, because you'll be executing our plan," Ryan replied. Friedman sighed.

"Fine. Tell me what you want me to do," He relented, listening as Ryan began to plot more, going into far more detail with Friedman this time.

* * *

"Grace…_Grace!_" 

Grace opened her eyes. In the dark she focused in and saw that Joan's head was sticking through the cracked open door. Carefully, Grace freed herself from Luke's embrace. She made her way to the hallway, shutting the door behind her.

"What are you doing, Girardi?" Grace whispered, rubbing her arms to keep them warm. Joan held up a pharmacy bag. Grace glanced into it, confused.

"I can't do it alone," Joan said, avoiding eye contact. Grace nodded just slightly, understanding.

"Let's go then," Grace suggested. She and Joan made their way to the bathroom and shut the door, locking it behind them. Grace emptied out the bag Joan had given her. "Did you get enough tests?" Grace tried to ease the situation. Joan wrung her hands out as she sat on the edge of the tub, running a strangled hand through her hair. She looked what as a sheet. Grace saw this and it shook her. She sat on the toilet top, facing Joan. Boldly, for Grace at least, she reached out and took Joan's hands, which were clenched in her lap, and squeezed them.

"Hey, come on Girardi, we don't know how it'll turn out yet, okay?" Grace said. Joan nodded stiffly. Grace took a deep breath. "Okay," she began opening the test boxes and took out the cups. "I hope you have to pee," She held the six cups out towards Joan. "Want me to turn around?" She asked. Joan blushed slightly. "Right…just line 'em up on the sink, Dude," Grace turned her back and stood by the door.

Grace stared at the towels on the back of the bathroom door, lost in thought as Joan did her business for the tests. If this was possible for Joan, it was possible for her and Luke. Sure she and Luke had spent the past year talking about the consequences of any of their actions and discussing what they would do should the situation arise. So far, it hadn't, and now that the possibility was very real for Joan, Grace felt a chill. She herself, let her hand roam across her stomach.

"Okay," Joan muttered weakly, startling Grace out of her thoughts. Grace cleared her throat and turned around to see six cups, all with less than an inch of yellow liquid in them, lining the sink.

"All right…" Grace took a deep breath. Joan was sitting on the closed toilet top. Grace grabbed the plastic sticks and sat them in the cup, letting them rest against the rims of the cups.

"Now what?" Joan asked, her legs shaking nervously. Grace glanced at her watch.

"We wait," She sat on the edge of the tub. Joan's bottom lip trembled. Grace reached out and took her friend's hand. "Hey," She waited for Joan to look at her. "I'm here and stuff, ya know?" Joan nodded stiffly in appreciation. Grace sighed. _They should make these tests instant…_she thought, waiting for her wristwatch to beep.

* * *

Finally, after what seemed like five hours, Grace's watch beeped. Joan clenched her eyes shut. Grace stood slowly, afraid to look as well. Joan didn't let go of Grace's hand and Grace didn't try to pry her own hand from Joan's. She leaned about looking at each stick. Her eyes closed for a moment and she sighed quietly. 

"What's the verdict?" Joan asked breathlessly.

"Inconclusive…" Grace said.

"What?" Joan opened her eyes. Grace pointed.

"You've got to make a doctor's appointment, Girardi," She said. "3 positive, 3 negative. Inconclusive."

Joan sunk back onto the seat, putting her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking. Grace rubbed Joan's arms slightly. She sighed and hugged her friend.

"Hey, come on, nothing's for sure," Grace assured. "We'll call tomorrow and make you an appointment, so we'll know for sure, all right?"

She felt Joan nod into her shoulder.

"Come on, Girardi," Grace said. "Go back to sleep. I'll clean this up.'

Grace waited for Joan to compose herself and leave. Grace quickly dumped the cups, cleaned up the sink and tied the tests in the plastic pharmacy bag. She flushed the toilet like she'd gotten up to go and slipped out of the bathroom. She quietly slipped out of the house, in the snow, to the trashcan at the corner of the street, glad that the trash was being collected in a few hours. She stuffed the bag into the can and closed the lid securely before turning and going back inside and up to Luke's room.

Grace watched Luke from the doorway for a while before shutting the door and crawling back in with him.

"You're cold," Luke breathed deeply, nestling in closer to her. Grace didn't say anything; she just put her head down on his chest.

* * *

"Hello?" A groggy voice said one he'd picked up. 

"Adam?" Joan asked, shaking still.

"Jane?" Adam replied. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Adam…I…" She trailed off, sniffling.

"Jane?" Adam was more concerned now. "Why are you crying?"

"I need to see you…" She told him. Adam looked at the clock. It was nearly 2am.

"Okay," He said without hesitation. "I'll be there in 15 minutes," He told her. "When you seem me, meet me on your porch."

"Okay," Her voice was barely audible. Joan hung up, still shaking. What was Adam going to say to this, positive or not?

**

* * *

A/N: **Sooo…yeah, this is chapter is shorter than the others, but, a necessary evil, no? So whatcha think? I'm not sure it was so great but everyone tells me I'm wrong every time I say that soo…let me know? Chapter title from "Breathe (2am)" by Anna Nalick.

**P.S. – Help me decide…should she be positive of negative?**

**Responses: Shout outs to Tiffany and Laura, who are lucky on vacation right now! Hope you're having fun! E-mail me when you get home, yo! Okay, here we go!**

**Anti-Like-Grace – **I know, I know! I try to put God in each chapter, but sometimes it just doesn't fit in quite right and I have to put it off! Lol, yes, it's a job for de nah, nah, nah, nah, naaaaaah, JoA! Lol, gracefully muahahaha! Thanks for the A! P.S. – CBG's my fave…!

**Sayxanything – **You like those intense chapters, eh? I think Joan would totally act that way on a plane! Friedman with no fro was a shocker wasn't it? ) Dude, more power to the power of blasting Mmmbop while in the car with multiple people on the highway, yo! Of course…I'm a sucker…I listen to all of it, not just the bop…sick I know but like I said…guilty pleasures…

**Kool-Wolf – **Dude! You so are NOT! I am so not turning evil! Hmm…unique…okay, or offensively unique…I like that. Well not the some creepy dude part cause that would make me Ryan and since I'm not a dude, nor am I evil (like you), I'll opt for…erm…something other than some creepy dude. If I'm a brat of nature you're a punk of…err…scenery. And I hope you…yeah we've established I'm not able to type that, so let's just say it's understood! You're welcome for loathing you.

**Coveredinrain16 – **Yes I'm kidding? Hahaha, see? ) Chills? Awesome! See, you're another of those intensity lovers aren't you? READ ON WIT YOU BAD SELF! Yes! Sorry about that, I thought I wrote it in that he went to see his dad, but I didn't. I blame the insomnia. I wasn't thinking clearly. Grrrrrrrreeeaaaaaat!

**ProcrastinationQueen – **Thanks! Ryan is gearing up for something…but what? You'll have to wait. ) I honestly slipped up when writing that chapter, I forgot to add in that the tape was Joan and Adam introducing Grace (and Luke) to their life out west, with friends, jobs, classes, etc.

**Jane and Adam – **Hurried back just you for…(well, and everyone else too, but that doesn't make you less special! Honest! )

**Sam – **Leaving people hanging is my specialty in the story area. Sick isn't it? I figured they would need to have some minor sidekick characters join them, so a few more are, as you found out in this chapter, are joining them soon too. They totally are an old married couple. I don't know but I have a hunch, that that might alter a bit soon…maybe…vintage thrifty stores rock! Thanks for the kudos of Grace/Her mom scenes. Fro man without the fro was a shocker huh? ) I work well that way! Lol, the X-files rock…but if you're trying to sleep, it's a good aid! Knocks you right out! I agree…reruns in the early AM of it rock. Especially with my insomnia!

**Audrey – **Heh, heh, everyone's all confused cause of Friedman minus the fro! Ryan is a jerk! Here's the update. You should update soon too, cough, cough!

**Spotsndots – **Welcome aboard! Three days? Damn! I'm long winded aren't I? Have you read the story that came before this one (That Summer)? This is the sequel. ) The best Joan story as in Joan of Arcadia as a whole or like Joan herself? (I'm dense, it's late). Lol, no, as far as I know I'm not Barbara Hall, but I would totally love to be paid to write for TV. That'd be wicked. Don't cry, I'm continuing! I cried as well when I found out JoA was cancelled…( Whoa, you don't have to thank me so much! Just review and let me know how I'm doing and if I start to suck up the story, dude! ) (You are welcome though!) Thanks for the kudos! There's nothing wrong with long reviews, I write long chapters. I welcome long reviews! I hope it's not just depressing, but that you're finding some of it funny too! I don't want to depress everyone! Thanks again for the review!


	13. Did You All Think He'd Just Dissappear?

**Holds Me Together**

**Rating:** T-M Just in case

**Disclaimer:** You know the drill.

**A/N:** I love you people! You make my day! Sorry for the proofreading as always. **FYI: My responses to reviews are at the bottom of each chapter instead of the top.** Read on wit yo bad self, now!

**

* * *

Chapter 13 – Did You All Think He'd Just Disappear?**

"What time are we leaving?" Grace asked as Luke came up the steps to his room with a towel wrapped around his waist, having just gotten out of the shower. Beads of water were gleaming off of his shoulders, stemming from his sopping, matted hair. It was hanging just above his eyebrows. Grace noted that his sandy hair looked brown when it was wet. She couldn't help biting the corner of her lip and staring as he leaned down to one of the drawers of his bureau to find some clothes.

"We'll leave for Baltimore at 3:30 so we'll have time to set up," He said, finally finding the T-shirt he was looking for. He stood up and unfolded it to inspect it as if double-checking and shut the drawer with his foot. "Stop staring," He said, grinning, without even looking at her. Grace shook her head and was about to speak but changed her mind and closed her mouth. In one nimble move, with his back still to her as he scanned a pile on the floor for a specific pair of torn and tattered jeans, Luke let the towel drop and pulled on a pair of black boxer briefs with a gray elastic rim, giving Grace a mere millisecond glance at his freshly washed skin. She could smell the scent of his soap from across the room.

"Good, then I've got time," Grace cleared her throat and hopped from where she was sitting on his desk, grabbing her skateboard from its spot leaning against the wall.

"Oh yeah? Where ya gonna go?" He asked, turning to face her as he tugged one of the pairs of jeans Grace and Joan had gotten him on. Grace looked at the pants as Luke ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to brush them out of his face. His attempt failed and the wet locks fell back into his face, showering his chest and nose with a few more drops of water.

Grace examined the jeans. Funny enough, they lay perfectly at his hips, riding low so that the trail of fluffed hair leading down from his belly button was partially visible. The lines where his legs met his hips that formed into a perfect V were visible at the corners from the top rim of his boxer briefs, which were just visible above the rim of his tattered jeans. The jeans were frayed and rumpled in various places throughout them. The bottoms of the legs, especially, were tattered from being walked on with boots in all seasons. There were places on the pockets that were sewn, though still fraying. There was a rectangular fraying section on the back right pocket from where the previous owner had obviously kept his wallet all the time, and a few random oil stains splattered about. A few mini holes dotted the front and backs of the legs and there was even a tiny hole beginning at the bottom right hand corner of the left back pocket. Luke looped a brown belt through the pants and hooked it. There was a silver rounded square belt buckle on the belt that went well with the outfit Luke seemed to be forming. Grace smiled slightly at the buckle. It had a bottle opener carved on it with the words "Open Here" etched across the top of it. Grace smirked.

"Oh, uh," She shook her head, letting her eyes travel up Luke's torso to his eyes. He had his hands on his hips, grinning at her knowingly as her cheeks flushed. "I'm, uhm, going to, you now, my house," She cleared her throat again. "Ma's home, so…"

Luke nodded. "You want me to go with you?" He said, shaking out his shirt, and beginning to slide his arms into the sleeves so that it extended across his chest, waiting for him to pull it over his head.

Grace shook her head. "No, I'll be fine," She assured him. Luke studied her face for a moment, intently. For the past few days he'd been very cautious, not wanting to aggravate Grace's state of mind any further then it seemed to already be. She had let on that more was going on then he knew about when Luke had asked her for the billionth and one time if she wanted to talk about her mother and the doctor's prognosis on Sarah's liver. Grace had remained numb about the subject, stating that Sarah knew full well that her death sentence was her own fault. Luke had originally ascertained that the way Grace had been distancing him was due to her building fury and sorrow regarding her mother. Grace let on that this wasn't this case and she was just feeling awkward what with Kevin and Lily coming over all the time, and the intrusion of Luke's mom always when they were in the middle of a kiss that would surely progress to at least a make out session. Luke knew better than to believe most of this but there wasn't much he could do other then wait for her to tell him what was up and be patient.

"I'll be back by 3," She promised, crossing over to him and leaning on her tiptoes to grant him a kiss. Grace knew there were two reasons for this kiss; number 1, it would stop Luke from eyeing her and inspecting for her to reveal all worries and emotions at the moment and number 2, _God_ she loved his lips.

"If you see your sister tell her I said to call me, it's important," Grace spoke up when their lips finally parted.

"Okay," Luke agreed, lingering, hoping for another kiss. Grace smirked slightly.

"Later boy wonder," She said, turning and heading out of the room. Luke sighed, smiling and pulled the shirt over his head, unrolling it to lie just at the top of his jeans, due to his long torso. The worn orange shirt was pale and had dark but faint brown writing that was cracked from years of wear and wash, and had the written logo of the Dukes of Hazzard. Under the word logo was the same brown, faint color, molded into the shape was the front sideways slanted version of the General Lee '69 dodge charger. Luke walked over to the mirror that was on the back of his door to inspect his choice of clothing and snickered at himself after he'd put on socks and fastened an old pair of brown boots to his feet which the torn jeans hung nicely over. Luke dug through a small basket on his bureau and came out with a brown leather bracelet watch which he fastened to his left wrist before fastening the other brown leather bracelet he found to his write wrist along with sliding on some matching beaded bracelets with black strings that hung down after he'd tied them securely around his wrists. He found a couple of plain silver rings in the basket of accessories Joan and Grace had instructed him to make sure he used and put one on his left index finger, one on his right thumb, as well as one on his right ring finger. After this he dug around some more and came across a thin black leather choker chord. It was the kind you made on vacation with silver dice that had letters on them, and two knots to tightened it with. Touching the silver letters, Luke grinned slightly seeing they spelled out 'Gracious.' He pulled it over his head and tightened it all the way so that the knots were next to where the letters stopped and it still hung under the rim of his collar, lying flat against the backdrop of his orange shirt.

Luke was just finishing putting gel in his hair and styling it into a mess, and putting on some cologne when he went to inspect himself again in the mirror. This was definitely a strange look for a Science genius, he though to himself.

"Whoa…talk about a total makeover," Joan said as she inched in through the half shut door and gave her brother a once over to check out his rock star apparel. Luke snickered.

"I have to hand it to you and Grace," He shrugged, looking at himself again in amusement. "You two really know how to make a geek look cool."

"Cool? Please," Joan rolled her eyes, "Cool is lame. You're totally giving off the Rock Star vibes, look out tinsel town here comes dogboy, front runner of the band…" Joan looked at Luke. "I don't know your band's name," She confessed with a slight smile. She felt out of touch for a moment. If they'd still been in Arcadia and this had happened, she would have known as soon as he'd gotten into the band what its name was and where they were playing.

"File Under X," Luke told her. He looked at her. "You sure I look okay in this stuff?"

"So long as you don't start strutting again and acting like John Travolta, I think you look perfect for the part," She nodded. "Actually…we have a present for you downstairs," She grinned as she saw his interest peak.

"Who's we?" He asked.

"Oh you know, Me, Kevin, Mom, Dad, Lil, the whole family, Grace and Adam too," She grinned. "Come on, dogboy, let's not keep them waiting," Joan grabbed Luke by his forearm and tugged, pulling him with her down the steps to the second floor and then to the living room after telling him to cover his eyes-an action made doubly dangerous by the sets of steps needed to traverse to the living room. Once Luke had made it alive, Joan told him to open his eyes. His mouth dropped open.

There, in the middle of the living room, they'd moved the coffee table aside to pile this 'gift' of theirs. Luke walked over to it; timidly reaching out to touch the outlines of a two-foot tall amplifier, and then the neck and outline of a Gibson '59 Les Paul cherry burst electric guitar. It looked so pristine Luke was almost afraid to touch it.

"Grace said you were ogling it at a guitar shop up near you guys," Kevin informed him.

"Yeah, she told us about how you had to borrow the guitars from your band mate and that you only had the electric acoustic and the pawn shop fender you got," Lily said, already well versed in the world of guitars, oddly enough. Luke looked around at the other various pieces of equipment. There were the necessary cables to connect the amps and the guitar and there was even a foot controller that held 4 pedals, a hard plastic case lined with foam for his new guitar, a padded soft case with backpack straps for his fender, an assortment of guitar straps for him to choose from, some various brands of pics, replacements strings and an electric tuner.

"How did you afford all this?" Luke asked in astonishment.

"We all chipped in," Will told him with a nonchalant shrug. Luke's eyes misted over. He hadn't thought that more then just Joan would have remembered about the band, well and maybe Helen since most of the band would be camping on her living room floor by the wee early morning hours. He had never imagined they would go so far out of their way to purchase thousands of dollars worth of equipment just for him. He felt bad momentarily, for feeling slightly gypped that he'd only gotten a small amount of Christmas presents, even if half of his presents consisted of cheap thrift store awesome clothes. He had thought that once again, no one really bothered with him, but that was okay because despite some of the hard stuff going on, it was a nice holiday. To find out he was utterly wrong sent a stab of selfish guilt through him. He looked at all of their smiling faces.

"Don't get too sappy on us there, dogboy," Joan gave his arm a slight punch.

"I'll pay you back for all of this," He said, looking all of them in the eyes. The crowd of people, his family, Lily (holding Caleb), and Adam exchanged confused glances.

"Luke, honey, this is a gift," Helen approached Luke, putting her hands on his shoulders. "We don't want repayment," She explained.

"Yeah, geek, we want to come see you play," Kevin, grinned, giving Luke's arm a punch. Luke looked at them, wide eyed.

"Seriously?" He asked. Helen nodded. "What about your New Year's Eve party?" He asked his mom. Helen laughed.

"There's always another year to have one," She smiled.

"Your mother, Kevin and Lily and I will be at your show at the Green River here in Arcadia," Will explained. Luke frowned.

"You have to have tickets for that," He said, disheartened. Lily held up a handful of tickets.

"Grace called…Charlie I think his name was, and hooked us up," Joan explained.

"Cha, dude, Joan and me will be at both shows," Adam grinned. Luke looked at all of them.

"I don't know what to say," He stated speechlessly.

"Say you know at least some good 70's music," Kevin said hopefully. Joan snickered at him and Luke and the others laughed as well. They heard honking outside and following Luke, everyone went outside.

There, driving up the middle of the street with the side of the door slid open was Charlie and Kit, hanging onto a handle and yelling.

"HEY GIRARDI WHERE ARE YOU?" They called, looking to see what house answered.

"Those are your friends?" Joan asked, unsure how Luke had acquired friends that didn't look like science nerds. Luke laughed.

He walked to the curb and swung his arms in the air. "Over here!" He called back. Charlie and Kit waved frantically to them as Ajax pulled the van over to the open spot at the curb. Charlie and Kit leapt out, hugging Luke enthusiastically with pats on the back, followed by Fleur and Rails, Ajax and Clayton (the band's other guitarist). Luke introduced everyone all around.

"Oh, wait, wait, we've got something for you all!" Charlie cheered. He and Kit disappeared into the back van. They reemerged two minutes later with armfuls of presents.

"What's this?" Helen asked.

"This," Charlie grinned as he and Kit passed out the presents to each one they were addressed to, recognizing them by pictures and stories Luke had told, "is for your hospitality and all that stuff, because you rock!" He said excitedly.

"Why don't we go inside and open these, it's cold out here," Joan suggested. The group headed inside.

* * *

"You didn't have to come and visit, Gracie," Sarah said, seated on her bed and sitting back against pillows that were propped against the headboard. Her blanket was pulled up to cover most of her lower body. Grace brought over a glass of water and tissues Sarah had asked for. She put them on Sarah's nightstand and then sat nervously on the stool for her mother's makeup desk.

"Yeah well," Grace shrugged, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket, not knowing what to say. She had millions of questions and not a clue where to begin. Sarah studied her. Grace was not used to talking to her mother while her mother was sober. She was used to reasoning with an unreasonable drunk.

"How's that boy…Luke?" Sarah spoke up. Grace looked at her mother wearily. Sarah waited for an answer.

"He's…good," Grace offered awkwardly. Sarah smiled.

"That's wonderful," Sarah's voice was filled with enthusiasm. Grace wasn't totally buying it. She rolled her eyes.

"You haven't cared about any of this in years, except to beat down on it to control me," She spoke up. "Just because you're dwindling down on days doesn't mean you can just pick up like we've always been the perfect little family in Arcadia."

Sarah nodded. "You're right," She said, "but we've got to start somewhere don't we?"

Grace considered this. "Tell me about Ryan," She stated. Sarah looked at Grace suspiciously for a moment.

"Gracie, you know about Ryan," Sarah replied. Grace shook her head.

"I know he's my brother. I know you didn't want him," Grace snorted. "I know you didn't want me either but, whatever, that's not important." She composed herself. "I want to know about his father. I want you to tell me why you abandoned him. I want you to tell me everything you know."

"Why?" Sarah questioned.

"Because you owe it to me," Grace retorted, crossing her arms nervously. "Because he's coming after me and the people I care about, which is probably because of what you and his father did to him, whatever it was. And because the more I know the better off I'll be," she said firmly. Sarah offered a curt nod.

"Very well," Sarah inhaled deeply, looking pained. "I was 16. He, Calvin Hunter, was 20. He worked at the bowling alley. We, my friends and I went there every Saturday night, sometimes after football games, since we cheered of course." She shuddered almost. "I was infatuated and he was at least interested. On our 5th or 6th date, we went to a school dance. He thought it was childish so we left early." She glanced at Grace. "I think you can figure out how Ryan came about without me going into detail there?"

Grace nodded slowly. So her brother was conceived in the back of a beat up truck. How shabby. Grace shuddered to think of Ryan as her brother. She looked at Sarah to indicate for her to continue. Sarah sighed.

"There wasn't much I could do. Your grandfather actually kicked me out and refused to speak to me for a long time. So I had no choice but to move in to Calvin's apartment. The infatuation was long gone by then. It wasn't that he was a bad person. It was just that money was scarce, I was trying to hide in school." Sarah looked down at her hands as she rubbed them together. "I left three days after we brought Ryan home from the hospital," She said barely above a whisper. "I only ever called Calvin once after that. It was Ryan's first Birthday. He told me they were fine without me and never to contact them again, it was too late to own up to responsibility and I was still a child so I should go and grow up before continuing my life," she cleared her throat. "By then I knew your father. I didn't tell him about Ryan until I found out I was pregnant with you," She looked at Grace. "I never said I didn't want you-,"

Grace snorted. "Yes you have," She stared at her mother. "It's one of your favorite things to say when I'm trying to stop you from drinking and get you to go to bed when you're trashed," Her face remained stony and cold. Sarah looked away, ashamed. She knew she deserved this.

"Gracie,"

"Just…keep going," Grace cut her mother off, not wanting to hear another excuse. Sarah nodded sadly.

"I heard nothing about Ryan since the phone call on his first birthday," She continued sadly. "At least, until he turned up here in Arcadia. He didn't contact me, though. For some reason he went after that friend of yours' family, the Girardi family. And I only told you, Gracie because that was when he was going to trial and it was going to come out anyway, I thought you should hear it from me instead of the press," She confessed. Grace snorted at this and shook her head, staring down at her lap. "Gracie?"

"How long have you known?" Grace looked up. "That this was killing you?"

Sarah tried to look away, but Grace's stare locked her in. "Since before last summer," She answered. Grace shook her head with an ironic chortle of anger.

"Why…" Her eyes involuntarily glazed over and she clenched her jaw angrily. "Why did you keep drinking? They told you that you had a chance if you stopped. It would've prolonged your chance of getting a new liver," Grace reasoned. She may not have had the best relationship with her mother, but by no means did she want her mother to die. She felt guilty for all the times, in Sarah's drunken stupors that she had selfishly wished that Sarah would indeed die so she could be free. She knew those were moments of weakness she could not take back. Wishes that were now coming true, and she had no way to combat them.

"Gracie, I'm not on the donor list," Sarah commented. Grace's head snapped up and she stared at her mother in shock.

"What?" Her voice was a ghastly whisper of shock. Fear, anger and sadness bubbled and boiled throughout her.

"I don't want a new liver, Gracie," Sarah watched her daughter. "I can't stop my drinking even all the times I've wanted to-,"

"You're not drinking now! You're fine!" Grace argued. Sarah was wiping at tears now.

"I'm not now at this moment. I was last night and the night before that. Since I've gotten home really," She admitted looking more ashamed than ever. Grace stared at her mother in disbelief. How could anyone be this reckless with their life? "Gracie, a new liver would be a tragic waste for someone in my position. The least I can do is let someone else's life, a life worthier than mine, to be saved at my expense," Sarah continued. Grace shook her head, mouth wide open, eyes enlarged like saucers.

"I can't deal with this now," Grace said, noticing that it was nearly 2:30. "I have to go," She turned on her heel.

"Gracie, wait!" Sarah called. Grace was out of the house in less than twenty seconds. She made her way to the Girardi house on her skateboard as quickly as she could, wanting-needing-the distraction of them to clear her mind. Tonight was a big night for Luke. He was excited. He kept telling her he had a surprise for her and she did not want to be the person to ruin the night. By the time Grace had reached the Girardi house fifteen minutes later, she had managed to calm herself down and compose herself. She saw Kit's van as she kicked up her skateboard to her hand and headed up the steps.

* * *

"There you are!" Luke said, pullingGrace to him as soon as she entered. "Thank you," He placed a kiss on her cheek. Grace looked at him, confused.

"For?" She asked. Luke smiled.

"Don't act like you don't know, the equipment," He said. Grace's face donned a look of realization and she nodded easily.

"You liked it then?" She smiled.

"Liked it? How 'bout loved it?" He asked. It was then that Grace got a chance to look at his whole outfit.

"Wow…" She eyed him suspiciously. "I'm not going to have to dig out the 'pretty' clothes and start saying 'whatever' am I?" She asked. Luke shook his head vigorously.

"No!" He said quickly. Grace chuckled at him.

"Good," She nodded.

"Hey you two!" Joan said, coming up with Caleb in her arms.

"Hey," Grace said, glancing at Luke and then back to Joan.

"If you hold him any longer, people are going to start to suspect that he's your baby," Luke teased. Joan's face fell ashen. Grace elbowed Luke.

"Ow! Hey what was that for?" He asked. "I was just kidding! Sheesh!" He rubbed his ribs.

"Leave me with the other Girardi will ya, brain?" Grace asked. Luke looked at them suspiciously but nodded. Joan passed Caleb to him as he went to join the others in the living room.

"Let's go up to your room, you know, the whole privacy thing," Grace suggested. Joan nodded weakly and they ascended the steps.

* * *

"So…" Joan said, shutting the door. She went over and sat next to Grace who was already seated on Joan's bed.

"Did you tell Rove?" Grace asked. Joan crossed her arms, shaking slightly and shook her head.

"No," She sighed. "I couldn't figure out how to say it," Joan finished. Grace nodded. She wanted to retort with 'well you could just go with the truth. Hey Rove, look what you did,' but she restrained herself.

"The doc's office said the earliest opening they have is January 5th. I had them pencil you in," Grace confirmed. Joan nodded slightly.

"Thanks…" She said warily. Grace nodded and took a deep breath.

"What do you say we just take it easy and try not to worry about what's bothering us tonight? We'll hang out, some music, good company," Grace suggested. "We've gotten through tough stuff before, I think we can get ya through this, don't you?"

Joan looked at Grace for a moment. She seemed so sure that Joan felt a little more at ease. She sighed slightly.

"Besides there's nothing we can do until you know for sure so why not just leave the stress off for at least today and tonight. There'll be plenty of time to worry until the 5th, starting tomorrow," She told Joan. Joan nodded. This was true after all.

"You're right," Joan composed herself. "Let's go," She stood.

"I'll meet you down there, I need to change," Grace said. Joan nodded and left and Grace went up to Luke's room to find something to change into.

Once up in Luke's room, Grace dug through her duffle bag and also in Luke's very bottom drawer where she'd been stashing her clothes. She found a faded pair of jeans and changed into them. Upon finding a good enough belt, which had a dark, aged looking, worn golden oval edged belt buckle with a random picture from running mustangs carved into it. Next she changed her shirt so that she had on a beige T-shirt with the blue sketchy outline of a mountain on it. On top of that she pulled a solid dark blue knit sweater with white stitching at the seams on. She pulled her usual fish weight necklace out form under the collar to rest in view on the outside of the shirts. Running a brush through her hair quickly, she looked in the mirror just to check and make sure she looked all right after securing her watch, some bracelets and a couple of silver rings. Quickly she tugged on some boots and tied them. She grabbed her leather jacket off the floor and slid it on before taking a deep breath to compose herself fully and then heading back downstairs.

* * *

"So how long have you two known Grace?" Fleur started a conversation in the awkward silence that seemed to divide right down the middle of the table that Fleur, Aurelia, Adam and Joan were seated at. Both couples were sitting next to each other with Adam and Joan across from Fleur and Aurelia.

"Oh, I've known her since we were sophomores in high school," Joan commented, glad to fill the awkward silence as well. Grace had excused herself moments before after spotting someone she claimed to know walking through the door. "Adam's known her since they were three," Joan nodded. Fleur seemed impressed by this.

"Wow, talk about lifelong friends," She commented.

"Hmmm, what?" Adam seemed to zone in on the conversation now that his name had been mentioned.

Joan shook her head and smiled, "He tends to go off in his own world sometimes," She stated. Fleur and Aurelia laughed at this. "So, are you in Grace's classes?"

"No, actually, I know Grace's roommate, because of Rails, so…" Fleur said. Aurelia was now intent on trying to figure out exactly who it was that Grace was talking to at the bar. The man was tall with short dark hair. He was decked out in jeans and a striped button up shirt with the collar turned down and some Chuck Taylor's. The two seemed to be having a slightly heated conversation, though from the looks on their faces it seemed like they were enjoying their argument, whatever it may be about. Joan followed her line of sight and arched an eyebrow. She nudged Adam's arm as Fleur and Aurelia began to launch a conversation about someone's shoes from the table across from theirs.

"Hmm? What, Jane?" Adam asked, coming out of his reverie. The band was just about done setting up and about half of them were starting to tune their instruments. It was almost 5:30. Adam vaguely wondered where the food they'd ordered almost 45 minutes ago was, but he quickly realized that it was a holiday and, looking around, it was obvious from the mass amount of people already cramming in that the food was going to take longer than usual.

"Do you know who that is?" Joan pointed the man Grace was talking to at the bar. The man had ordered a drink and it seemed like her had offered Grace a drink from the way she shook her head with a wave of her hand. Adam shook his head slowly.

"No, I don't know who it is," He replied to Joan. Joan bit the corner of her lip.

"Do you think I should go over and see? I'm going to head over and see who it is," Joan said.

"Maybe you should just let her be," Adam started to protest. Fleur and Aurelia were paying attention now as Joan stood up.

"That's Collier," Rails spoke up. "He's in one of Grace's classes," She nudged Fleur, "Remember we met him the first time we saw Luke play with the band."

This seemed to jog Fleur's memory as she muttered an "Ohhhh, right, yeah, yeah," while nodding her head.

"I think I'm still going to go over," Joan said. Before she waited for someone else to stop her, she started weaving her way through people to get to where Grace and Collier were standing.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Grace asked. She wasn't speaking as harshly as she normally did to Collier, mostly because she was so shocked that he were there. Collier simply smiled as the bartender gave him the beer her ordered. He tipped it to his lips and swigged back a gulp.

"Want one?" He asked politely, indicating the bottle.

"No," Grace shook her head with a wave of her hand. "Don't avoid the question."

Collier smiled. Grace studied him carefully. Though the small smile was playing on his face there was an inherent sadness in his eyes. She looked at him suspiciously.

"I'm here on business," He said seriously.

"I'm not going to like this am I?" Grace asked him. Collier looked at her, tight lipped, examining her for a moment before he shook his head slowly. Grace looked at him, willing him to continue you. "Well?" She asked after a few moments of opening her eyes wider and staring at him as if this was the universal indicator for 'okay, I'm listening.'

Collier opened his mouth to speak but, catching sight of something over Grace's shoulder caused him to close his mouth again for a moment. Grace turned to see what he was looking at but only saw people talking and the back of someone in a brown jacket with spiked hair walking away. Grace turned back to Collier. Collier shook his head and heaved a sigh.

"It's already been set in motion," Collier said just loud enough that Grace could hear over the buzz and hum of people talking and laughing and drinking. Grace looked perplexed.

"What has?" She asked sounding annoyed. "This cryptic shit is getting old, Graham," She used his last name, or what she knew as his last name, much like she did for most people. Collier's face was getting more worry strewn and tense as the seconds passed.

"The outcome of tonight's events," Collier continued, swallowing hard. He seemed nervous, as if he were a measly worker under the scrutiny of the higher ups. He even seemed to be starting to sweat as he guzzled down a few gulps of the amber liquid in his bottle. "There's little you can, or Joan, can do to stop it from happening," Collier continued. "You need to know that."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Grace almost shouted. "What's going to happen?"

Collier bit down on the inside of his cheek, almost bouncing on his toes. "I want to tell you, Grace, I really do," He replied anxiously.

"So then tell me," Grace demanded. Collier shook his head.

"It's not in the cards tonight, friend," He told her. He put his hand on her shoulder, "I'm going to be around all night into the morning," He looked at her seriously. "He may not be able to intervene…but sometimes were can. If we look for the signs and recognize when something significant is going to happen, and we're just paying attention…well sometimes that's enough to change fate," Collier said. Grace was about to ask him just what the hell he was babbling on about when he set his empty bottle down, turned on his heel and disappeared into the crowd of people packed into the club.

* * *

"Don't go over there yet, Joan," Someone said from Joan's left. Joan rolled her eyes and sighed, turning to face who she knew was there-Cute Boy God. He offered almost no show of emotion, not even that snide smirk he usually wore.

"If you took a day of rest when creating the world, the universe, whatever, then why can't you take just one Holiday off for rest?" Joan complained, frowning. Cute Boy God almost smiled at this, but remained serious.

"You need to give Collier time to pass along a message to Grace," He replied to her. Joan stared at him now.

"What?" She managed to ask after a moment.

"Collier, he has a message I want him to deliver to Grace," Cute Boy God said again.

"You've been talking to Grace?" Joan asked, confused and starting to become upset. Why didn't Grace tell her this?

"Not exactly," Cute Boy God pointed over to where Collier and Grace were talking. "Collier talks to Grace," He said.

"And you talk to Collier?" Joan asked. God shrugged.

"Sort of," He said.

"So he's what, like me?" Joan asked. God shook his head.

"No, he's different," He told her. "A messenger, really."

"Like an Angel?" Joan asked.

Cute Boy God smiled, his hands in his pockets. "If that helps you understand better, then yes," He nodded. Joan frowned.

"She didn't tell me," She said.

"Don't take it personally," Cute Boy God said. "She's been trying to figure out how too. Well that and she hasn't had much time too, what with all the things going on lately, particularly with you," He said knowingly. Joan looked at God with new emotions of frustration and anger.

"You couldn't have given me a warning about that one now could you?" One of her hands absently went to her stomach.

"I don't recall telling you to copulate with Adam, Joan," God replied. Joan stared, open mouthed at him. "However," god said before Joan could start yelling at him, "I am extremely confident that, whatever the test results may be, you're wholly capable of dealing with your consequences and being quite content in life."

"Are you saying-,"

"I'm not saying anything to the effect of positive or negative for you Joan," God cut across Joan's comment. "You know I don't work that way."

Joan nodded slowly.

"I need you to concentrate tonight. Take in everything you see, let it add up in your mind," God continued.

"So you want me to ruin my holiday…as usual right?" She asked.

"Have fun tonight, Joan," God said. "But be astute. Be on your guard and ready for anything. Happy New Year, Joan," God turned and started walking away with a backwards had wave before she could reply at all.

Joan sighed. She seemed to just be realizing that her hand was on her stomach and hastily snatched it away, putting it at her side. She looked up and noticed that Grace was still talking to Collier. She knew she should wait but she just couldn't anymore. As she reached Grace, however, Collier disappeared into a crowd swarming of people.

* * *

"Hey!" Joan called, putting a hand on Grace's shoulder. Grace started, shaking her head as she came out of some thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, Girardi…it's you," Grace replied. She turned to the bartender and ordered a soda. "You want one?" She asked Joan. Joan shook her head, but ordered water instead. Grace got the drinks and handed Joan her water. "Looks like the food came," Grace pointed, leading the way slowly back towards the table.

"Adam told me once he talked to angels," Joan said, causing Grace to cough slightly on the sip of her soda she'd been taking. "I didn't know that you actually did…"

"Uh, about that Girardi," Grace began to explain. Joan shook her head.

"It's all right Grace," Joan shrugged. "I mean look how long it was before I told you."

"How did you find out exactly?" Grace questioned.

"God," Joan replied. Grace offered a slightly shocked face, but seemed to accept this after a moment.

"Something's going down tonight," Grace replied. Joan nodded slowly.

"I was hoping you got more information then me," She said to Grace. Grace shook her head.

"Why is it always so cryptic?" Grace asked. Joan shrugged.

"I guess it wouldn't really be free will if we knew exactly what was going to happen and that we had to change it," She said.

"Well, at least there are two of us to keep look out?" Grace replied as they approached the table. Joan nodded and they both took their seats and dug into their food as File Under X began to play.

* * *

Nothing major happened for most of the night, except that they were almost late getting to the Green River in Arcadia. The people here were dressed only slightly nicer from the crowd in Baltimore. Luckily Will, Helen, Lily, Kevin, Glynis and Sweet Lou had gotten to the Green River early enough to slide three tables with four chairs each together in the corner close to the stage, by the edge of what looked like a dance floor. Adam, Joan, Grace, Fleur and Aurelia greeted the others as they joined the table.

The night progressed easily into nine o'clock, past ten o'clock and up to eleven o'clock with nothing too drastic happening. There was a lot of dancing. Joan had been shocked at how easily Grace had been coaxed into dancing. This time, however, it wasn't Collier who'd convinced her. Grace was standing, getting ready to pretend she had to head to the bathroom so she wouldn't have to dance when Kevin wheeled into her, causing her to crash into his lap and rolled onto the dance floor behind Lily before Grace could argue. Once she was out there, she'd caught Luke's eye and she decided she give in.

At 11:30, Luke announced that they were going to play one more song and then break until just after midnight so they could celebrate with everyone. The crowd, so far, had loved the band and were enthusiastically clapping and cheering them. Grace couldn't help but note that Luke was doing a good job of playing the part of the rock star up on the small elevated stage. His hair was wet with sweat and matted to his forehead, and his shirt was retaining the water around his collar and under his arms and even down his back under the hot lights that were dancing to the beat of the music as they played.

"This next song is one of the only songs tonight we're going to play for you that's not a cover song," Charlie announced in his usual excited voice. "But I'll let Luke fill you in!"

Grace glanced at Luke with a slight smirk. He knew what she was thinking. She was prepared for a song about atoms and molecules. He grinned widely at her. She was definitely going to be surprised by this one.

"This is the first song I've ever written on my own," He stated nervously. Kevin, Joan and Helen let out a whoop and clapped loudly, causing Luke to laugh into the microphone as he tuned a string of his guitar quickly. He looked at Grace. "It's called 'Fall in Like,' and uh, well, I hope you like it," He said before winking at her. Grace clapped along with the crowd as the song began. It was a fast song and was easy enough to dance too while still sounding mellow, but once the lyrics started, Grace found herself immobilized and staring, shocked at Luke as he watched her and sung, grinning the whole time.

_My reputation precedes me, she says, as I press on_

_I've worked hard to build my walls, to block you out_

_She says she's anti-everything and anything I've got, _

_And I ask what she cares, what other people think, _

_She says she's not gonna be courted by some rocket-head geek, _

_What if it got around, that you were giving me things?_

_So I ask, so you're never gonna fall in love?_

_She said I'm never even gonna fall in like_

_Why should I waste my time?_

_She said I'm never even gonna fall in like_

_With your hair, your face, your eyes_

_She said I'm never even gonna fall in like_

_So why does she keep, moving closer to me?_

_She said, she said_

Joan and Adam tried not to laugh as they watched grace for her reaction while the others danced. Kevin had retreated back to the pushed together tables to make sure no one took their seats. Glynis was vaguely aware of what the song was about, but she kept dancing with Sweet Lou, smiling the whole time. Grace shook her head absently. She couldn't believe this was happening. She felt like she was in a bad movie. She smiled as she shook her head at Luke who was having a ball watching her reaction as he stomped the beat out with his left leg and kept playing and singing while Kit, Charlie and Clayton sung background vocals and played their instruments along with Ajax, who was dancing as his played his bass.

_I try to explain, love is irrational-anesthetic going off in your brain_

_You forget all reason, just so the act of procreation can occur_

_She interrupts as I press on about natural imbalance, and the chemical reaction_

_And that's when it happens…_

_She says she's not gonna be courted by some rocket-head geek, _

_What if it got around, that you were giving me things?_

_So I ask, so you're never gonna fall in love?_

_She said I'm never even gonna fall in like_

_Why should I waste my time?_

_She said I'm never even gonna fall in like_

_With your hair, your face, your eyes_

_She said I'm never even gonna fall in like_

_So why does she keep, moving closer to me?_

_She said, She said_

_She said I'm never even gonna fall in like_

_Why should I waste my time?_

_She said I'm never even gonna fall in like_

_With your hair, your face, your eyes_

_She said I'm never even gonna fall in like_

_So why does she touch her lips to mine?_

_Everything about her says she's never gonna fall in like_

_As she whispers in low, I love you, I hope you know._

Grace was a bright shade of pink in the cheeks as she slowly joined in applauding as the song ended. She tried not to let it show but a smile crept across her face. Joan, Adam, Glynis and even Helen commented as they passed her but Grace couldn't hear them. She was still thinking of the lyrics, and of the conversation and kiss that started her and Luke's relationship. Sure it was technically their second ever kiss, but that kiss hadn't been provoked by the useless insults of Friedman F. Friedman.

Charlie, Kit, Ajax and Clayton set their things down and found an empty table to slide over to the Girardi table and joined them, digging into the bar food and drinks that Will and Kevin had ordered for the band for the end of their set/break, knowing they'd be hungry. Grace waited and Luke hopped down from the stage after setting his guitar down. He wiped sweat from his face with the back of his hand, still grinning.

"How's that for original?" He asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Oh, you think that was good, do you?" She asked. Luke's face fell at the idea that she might not have liked the song. Grace couldn't hold back anymore and she snickered at him. "I had you there," She smiled as he pulled her to him. Grace turned her head when she heard a scathing remark from a group of girls off to her right that had been ogling Luke for the whole night. If only they knew the scientist geek underneath that rock star façade, Grace thought to herself with a smile, letting her arms circled themselves around Luke's neck. She turned back to face him, expecting that he'd spotted the girls as well, to find he was intently watching her. Rather than asked him what he was staring for, she leaned up and kissed him, making sure not to linger too long, since his mother was in the close vicinity. "That was an excellent surprise," She nodded. "Thank you," She smiled. Luke grinned at her. "Come on, your groupies are freaking me out," Grace turned and, keeping a hold of his hand (to Luke's surprise), she lead him back over to the table where they began to joke and eat with everyone else as Helen, Will, Joan, Lily, Kevin and the other complimented Luke on his performance and his last song.

* * *

At midnight the whole bar counted down and cheered loudly, exchanging kisses with their significant others. It was afterwards, as the cheering and noise from noisemakers and those annoying horns people use raged on, that Graced noticed Collier was back. She noticed he was standing nervously behind another familiar figure.

"Girardi," Grace said loudly, close to Joan's ear. Joan looked at Grace and Grace pointed. There, standing amongst the crowd of loud, drunken, exuberant people was Friedman. His shaved head was noticeable among the girls to his right and the two couples to his left, as well as the man standing behind him. Joan recognized him as the man that had been talking to Grace earlier-Collier, she thought his name was. Friedman spotted them and began to weave his way over and Grace tensed.

"Oh, come on Grace, we don't have to be on guard against Friedman," Joan said dismissively although there was strange tingling creepy up the back of her neck. Grace shook her head.

"This isn't good," She said to Joan. Friedman grabbed onto Grace's arm, and she was so startled as she turned to look at him that she'd almost spun around and punched him.

"Spazoid-," Grace began to berate him but he interrupted her. A wild look flashed through his eyes as he was about to speak.

"You have to-,"

"Friedman?" Luke interrupted them. He smiled and clapped Friedman in the shoulder, seeming not to notice the flinch Friedman gave off as Joan and Grace had. The two women exchanged glances. "What's going on? You look much better with a shaved head, man," Luke continued. Friedman looked at Luke blankly and stared for a minute. Luke looked at him suspiciously. Glynis was nearby and seemed to notice something was up.

"Luke can Louis and I ask you a question?" She interjected, pulling Luke away. Friedman blinked and swallowed, glancing around the club anxiously.

"Dude, are you high?" Grace questioned. Friedman blinked at her. He was sweating. Joan was sure but it looked like there was blood on the back of his neck by the shoulder that Luke had clapped his hand on. It was rising form his collar and going up his neck somewhat. Joan was squinting at it when Friedman spoke again.

"I didn't think it was going to be this way," He said honestly. "I didn't know he was going to take it this far," He was on the verge of tears, clearly terrified.

"Think who was going to take what too far?" Joan asked. Grace stared at Friedman, who was still clinging to Grace's arm. Her eyes widened as she tried to put two and two together.

"Hunter…" She said barely above a whisper, looking across the room to Collier. Collier gave a curt nod. Next to Collier stood a familiar man that Grace had seen Joan talk to often. Grace knew now that it was God. Cute Boy God had a firm hand on Collier's shoulder. It looked like Collier was ready to run after Friedman at any moment. Joan looked at Grace.

"What?" She asked.

"You're talking about Ryan Hunter, aren't you?" Grace demanded of Friedman. A lone tear trickled from his eye. He nodded. Grace whipped her arm free and grabbed Friedman forcefully by the biceps, not surprised that the loud crowd was paying no attention as they'd all launched into a deafening rendition of Auld Lang Syne.

"What did you do Friedman?" Grace asked harshly, shaking him a bit.

"I tried to get out of it, but it was too late. If I didn't help he said he'd kill me since I knew too much," Friedman continued. He looked at them as if realizing he had something more important to tell them and he began to speak. "I got him to change it though!" He stated triumphantly. "You can't, can't, can't, start that car," He said sternly. "Whatever you do, don't turn the ignition."

"What car?" Joan asked. "Friedman, what car?" She asked again after he didn't answer. He looked like he was ready to collapse.

"He's not trying to get to you yet…" Friedman began to ramble tiredly. "He wants to take your families out first…" He continued. "Don't start the car."

"What car?" Grace yelled, shaking him. Before they could get an answer out of him, however, Friedman pulled free of Grace's grasp and stumbled away. Grace and Joan tried to recapture him but they lost sight of him in the mass of swaying bodies. Grace and Joan looked at each other wide eyed.

"What do we do?" Grace asked, panicked.

"Well we know it's not the van," Joan said, shaking her hands out nervously.

"What's going on?" Adam asked as he, Luke and Glynis joined Grace and Joan. Grace quickly recounted what had just happened. The other stared at her and Joan.

"Well, what do we do?" Glynis asked nervously.

"Dude, we gotta get back up there!" Charlie called to Luke. Grace turned to Luke.

"You go back up and act like everything's okay. We'll take care of everything else," She assured him.

"Grace…" Luke began to say.

"Go," Grace gave him a slight shove. Luke obeyed obediently. As the band started to play he kept track of everyone of his family and friends, anxiously.

"Mom and Dad, Kevin and Lily came in the same car," Joan said.

"We took the bus," Glynis spoke up.

"And we came in the van," Joan continued wit ha nod. She looked at Grace. Their minds seemed to be traveling on the same wavelength because they both glanced at Will, Helen, Kevin and Lily.

"If he's not coming for us, he's coming for them," Grace spoke up. Joan nodded nervously.

"Oh, but your parents are parked in that valet lot two blocks down," Glynis told them. Joan and Grace looked at her. She nodded. "We ran into them as they were coming out of it." She assured. "There was truck that almost ran into Kevin pulling in as they were coming out, actually," She stated.

"Do we tell them now?" Grace asked, looking over at the remaining Girardi clan who were watching Luke's band perform excitedly.

"Tell them at the end of the night when there are less people, Joan," Cute Boy God said as he approached. Adam, Grace, and Glynis looked at him. He'd never actually spoken in their presence to Joan. Usually it was out of earshot, or they unknowingly had talked to Him. But for God to speak to Joan in a body they were familiar with clearly, freaked them out.

"But, shouldn't they know now? Shouldn't we get out of here?" Joan asked, scared.

"Of course it's your choice, but I think you should tell them at the end of the night," Cute Boy God said, rather sternly. Collier joined God at his side, standing stiffly upright. Clearly he wanted to do more then he was currently allowed to do. "When it is the end of the night, and people have cleared out, tell your father," God instructed. He looked around at all of them and then turned to leave, with a backwards wave. Collier gave a last look to Grace before following, leaving the group to exchange nervous, terrified glances.

* * *

When 2 a.m. rolled around, the bands had packed up their equipment and were loading into the van. Everyone was outside, their breath fogging up the space in front of them in the bitter cold night.

"Dad, you can't get into your car," Joan said to her father. Will looked at her strangely. Now everyone was paying attention.

"Why not, honey?" He asked giving her a strange look. Grace was standing to Joan's right and Adam to Joan's left, Glynis and Luke were right behind them.

"Ryan's done something to the car," Joan said.

"You should probably get the bomb squad down here actually," Grace spoke up logically.

"What are you girls talking about?" Helen asked, clearly shocked. Luckily the only ones who were in on this conversation were the Girardi family, Grace, Glynis and Adam.

"This is no time for a serious joke like that, Joan," Will said, clearly upset at what Joan was insinuating.

"Dad, you have to trust me, I've been right about Ryan before right?" Joan asked. Will seemed to be considering this.

"What makes you think Ryan Hunter is stupid enough to blow up Dad's car?" Kevin asked.

"Friedman was in on it, did you see him talking to us inside?" Grace spoke up.

"Yeah, I saw him talking to you. I didn't know what about though," Luke said. "I wasn't there when he was speaking," He confessed.

"Look, Dad would you rather be safe and me be wrong then to get in the car and kill not only you and mom but Caleb's parents as well?" Joan stated boldly. Will considered this carefully, knowing what the obvious answer was. Helen gripped Will's arm tighter.

"Why don't we do what they suggest, Will? Ryan Hunter hasn't been caught yet, there's a chance they're right isn't there?" Helen said.

"Well, yes there is-," Will began.

"Well then isn't even a small chance of that enough to go with Joan's instincts?" Helen asked. She glanced at Joan and something in her eyes alerted Joan to the idea that maybe her mom knew something was up. She nodded. Will pulled out his cell phone promptly and started dialing.

"Is there enough room in that van for everyone?" He asked. Luke looked around.

"No, probably not," He frowned as he answered his father.

"Glynis, Kevin and Lily can go in with them. The rest of us, Me, Grace, Luke and Jane can get the bus back," Adam suggested.

"No," Will replied. "Kevin, Lily, Glynis, you go in the van with the other. You'll wait for a police escort. The rest of you will go home in the squad cars. They'll detail the house before they let you in," He barked off the order. Once someone answered his call he barked some more orders as Grace, Joan and Luke filled everyone else in on basically what was going on. Will headed for the parking lot to close it down and await police arrival.

* * *

Once finally back at the Girardi house every crowded in the living room, sitting on the couch, loveseat, recliner and the floor, waiting for Will to return. A cruiser had gone and retrieved Caleb, relieving Lily and Kevin's babysitter and brought him to the house were everyone was.

Will didn't return until almost 4am. By then everyone except for Grace, Luke, Adam, Joan, Kevin, Lily and Helen had fallen asleep. Those that were awake were crowded around the dining room table, huddled close. There were two unmarked cars positioned strategically outside of the Girardi house, and according to Will cars had been sent to both Grace and Adam's houses to keep watch.

Ryan had left his truck parked next to Will's car, wired itself with explosives, set to go off when the bomb attached to the underside of Will's car exploded. The parking lot attendants offered slight descriptions of the truck's owner and officers were going over the lot's security cameras for a usable picture of Ryan to show on the five o'clock news.

Will instructed everyone to go to sleep, knowing full well that none of them would. Instead everyone squeezed back into the living room among the others who were sleeping. They turned on the TV quietly, waiting for the news to come on anxiously, huddled together.

**

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A/N: Before you bite my head off the reason I didn't answer the Positive/Negative question in this chapter is because I still haven't completely decided what to do yet. So far in your reviews I think 4 or 5 have said make it positive, 3 or 4 have said negative and the rest didn't have a positive or negative response. I'm still debating! Be patient! Sorry for such a long time between chapters. I've had trouble working this chapter. The end is kind lame, I know but, bear with me; I'm allowed to have a couple of lame moments, damnit!**

**Special aside: The song lyrics in this chapter which Luke sings were written by my, inspired by the scene in 'Silence' when Luke is walking Grace home. **

**Chapter title** from "Crazy Life" by Toad The Wet Sprocket.

Moving on…now that I've finished this chapter finally and I've gotten my much earned ice cream (which I've been dying for, for like a week), it's time to write you some responses!

**Responses: coveredinrain16 – **Sorry dude, didn't mean to give you a heart attack with that cliffhanger there! Breathe! It's okay! Thanks for your vote on the preg issue! Interesting insight about Adam and Joan getting closer if she was pregnant…what if the opposite happened? As always read on wit you bad self!

**American Idiot – **One review is better than none at all. Good to know you're reading though! And thanks for your vote on the preg issue! I think sometimes people like that storyline with Joan because they want to know if the kid(s) will have the same no 'power' per say but ability that Joan has, ya know?

**ProcrastinationQueen**** – **A-ha! You've caught the hints and clues! Excellent! I was hoping someone was going to comment on that! Well done! T.Y. about the chappie title! I love that song. It was appropriate I thought. Mmm, maybe about the surprise gig….maybe not though. Don't be surprised if the answer to that isn't in this chapter though…hint, hint. The G/J interaction was actually based off of the way they interacted in 'The Gift' somewhat because I thought that was a truly softer side of Grace in that episode. Sorry for leaving you hang so long!

**Spotsndots**** – **I don't think I've seen the Friends or That 70s show episode with the preg. scare, I usually only catch the same 5 reruns of each show over and over again. However those are some good ideas you've got there, I may need to steal them! Ah, well That Summer is just a precursor to this story. This one is twice as long as the first story. Good luck with the driving lessons! I'm glad you like the story and you think this is one of the best Joan characters. That's ironic since I'm a total G/L freak so I have to make a note to myself not to leave J/A out. Don't let the suspense kill you too badly!

**Anti-Like-Grace – **Thanks for the vote on the preg issue and the insight! I agree that I'm not sure Joan's ready to be a mom. I still haven't decided what to do yet. Good advice though, thanks! Hahahaha, sorry, but I love giving you people Ryan suspense!

**Sayxanything – **Did I mention that Say Anything is an excellent movie? Ok, well then, moving on. Thanks for the kudos! May the yummy goodness of L/G action live on forever! I'm sorry I didn't get a chapter up for you before you left! I'm sorry! I hope this chapter was good enough to make up for that! (Was it?)

**Kool-Wolf – **Yo, foe chillax yourself! I'm sorry you hate fics where that happens. The verdict is still out my loathsome adversary, on the preg issue though. I call everyone dude as well, but when it's prefaced with 'creepy' it sounds like a child molester dude. Which creeps me out. Punk of scenery is the same thing as brat of nature. How was your other sister's house? I wish I had more than one sibling sometimes, not that I don't like my brother. It would just be fun to have more. Offensively Unique Brat…hmmm I could get used to that…maybe. I hate your guts as well and I hope you sfglkgjfhgjkf as well! P.S. – I HAVEN'T DECIDED YET! CHILLAX YOURSELF!

**Audrey – **Liked the cliffhanger eh? The ending of this chapter was a little lame I know, I'm sorry. I hope the rest was enough to make up for it and to feed your addiction though! I'll explain more fully the Friedman thing in Chapter 14, just FYI. Update Anarchy…cause you love me!

**Sam – **Hey yo, thanks for the vote/veto on the preg issue. Still haven't decided what to do. It's hard to dig myself out of this cliché hole now that I've created it, but I figured everyone was expecting the G/L preg issue because everything bad was happening to Grace. I'm trying not to make it cliché, and here's to hoping I won't! Did I get the blurry-eyed-without-glasses-in-the-morning bit right, I don't have glasses or contacts so I had to speculate and assume! I thought the gift part got a little cheesy…but the hopeless romantic I am came shining through for the G/L. And hey! Grace IS spending a lot of time with the geekmeister! Of course he's gonna rub off on her, like she does on him! )

**Jane And Adam – **I had to leave it there! It made sense in my head to leave it there! I'm sorry I didn't get an update up in time for your leaving but I did for your return? )

**MDM79 – (Ch. 11 & 12 reply), **I love Sweet Lou; I had to bring him to Arcadia at least once! Dude…vintage rock star clothes rock! Thanks for the kudos on Grace's honesty with her mom! Yes! R, P, S is the best game ever! Especially when fighting to hog a baby! Gotta have the geode tie-in! Thanks for the vote/veto of the preg issue! I think I agree that she's not ready but I haven't decided what to do yet!

**Tiffany – **Hey yo, excellent update FYI. Why was your trip boring? Thanks for the vote on the preg issue, dude! Not sure what I'm gonna do yet. In the first story I think I briefly explained that Grace found out Ryan was her brother. Don't kill anyone off? Hmmm…I'll get back to you on that…! No prob about passing the message on! P.S. – update soon, yo!

**Kaya1 – **Welcome aboard! Thanks for the kudos! How was this chapter?

**LoneTread**** – **Thanks for the kudos dude! Goosebumps huh? That means I did my job! I copy and paste the beginning of each chapter, that way I assure my apology is up by where the disclaimer would be/is. I write this at night usually when my insomnia is acting up which is why there's so many silly errors in it. At some point I'll go and fix them. I want to sincerely thank you for offering to proofread this though! I'm going to have to politely decline for two reasons: 1. Usually (though this week was awful) I have a big turn around and post a chapter every 2-3 days, so since the chapters are long as well it could take a long while proofreading. 2. Having a proofreader means there's one fan who gets privy to the chapters and for some reason I've always felt that was unfair. I hope my reasoning didn't offend you I just want you to know that I'm highly appreciative and for you to have a full reasoning of why I'm saying no thank you!

**Toni – **Welcome aboard! I was only kind of into JoA during its two year run because school kept me too busy to consistently watch it so I got a lot of reruns and such. I've only gotten to partially watch season 2, and have had to settle with reading all the scripts for the season 2 episodes I missed for now. It took me a second to realize that TPTB meant the powers that be lol! I'm glad you like it and I hope this chapter wasn't a let down!

**

* * *

Phew…a lot of people this week! Sorry for the long delay again everyone! Much love to every one but Kool-Wolf, in which case, loathe!**

**P.S. – In one of the cast commentaries on season one, Jason Ritter, Amber Tamblyn and Michael Welch said since Friedman never had anything but the name Friedman that they dubbed him Friedman F. Friedman, and that's why I used that! **


	14. Are You Ready For What's To Come?

**Holds Me Together  
Rating: T-M Just in case  
Disclaimer:** You know the drill.  
**A/N:** I love you people! You make my day! Sorry for the proofreading as always. **FYI: My responses to reviews are at the bottom of each chapter instead of the top.** Read on wit yo bad self, now!

**

* * *

Chapter 14 – Are You Ready For What's To Come?**

On the morning of January 5th, Grace awoke to the numbing frostiness of her lone body strewn about Luke's bed. Underneath the covers her pajamas, which consisted of thin, well-worn flannel pants and a t-shirt were insufficient in the dead, thick wintry January weather in Arcadia. Her bare feet stuck out almost up to her knees, hanging off the side of the mattress. Every time her legs touched in her sleep they shot apart; the skin on her calves were too cold to touch together without sending icy daggers of pain shooting through them. Her arms were curled up and tucked under her chest as she lay stomach down from her waist up. The covers slid down, revealing her shoulders and upper arms, sending a tremor throughout her. Despite the cold, numbness, Grace fought to stay asleep as she now rested just on the verge of waking. She hadn't slept more than two hours since New Year's Eve, until the previous night, having finally succumbed to exhaustion.

She felt movement and smelled the scent of shampoo, soap and aftershave as the mattress shifted and Grace felt the warm softness of Luke's lips against her own. Her eyes remained closed but she did offer a small smile when he pulled himself away from her moments later. She knew he was smiling as she rolled fully to her right side, drawing in a deep breath of air and reaching up to rub the sleep out of her eyes. Luke wasted no time, reaching his own hand out and running it through her hair.

"Howdgeunhere," She murmured incoherently as a yawn garbled her speech. Luke laughed at her.

"I thought we agreed on English early in the morning?" He questioned, amused as Grace propped herself up on her elbows now.

"How did I get up here?" Grace restated, reaching up to finishing rubbing her right eye free of the nasty crustiness hanging around her eyelashes.

"I brought you up here after you fell asleep," Luke explained.

"What time is it?" She asked him.

"Just about ten," Luke replied.

Grace eyed him. "How long have you been up?"

"Seven," He stated shortly. "Couldn't sleep," Luke shrugged when Grace looked at him questioningly. "Besides, I had a few things to take care of. I didn't want to wake you up though, since you haven't been sleeping."

Grace nodded gratefully, yawning again.

"But now, since we're out of pop tarts, however, I figured I'd make you get your lazy ass out of bed and we can go get some food," Luke suggested, sitting down on the bed next to her and leaning against the headboard.

Grace nodded. "I need a shower first," She told him, making no move to get out of the bed.

"Joan was in there not too long ago, but I think it's free," Luke said, giving her shoulder a little shove. Grace reluctantly crawled out from the slight warmth of the blanket to the open coldness of the room. She stretched quickly and then crossed her arms over herself, grabbing some clothes before heading out of the room with the promise of hot water on the horizon.

* * *

As Grace reached the bathroom, Joan was just coming out of it, fresh from styling her hair and brushing her teeth. 

"Good timing, it's all yours," Joan said. Grace looked at her strangely.

"You're strangely chipper this morning," Grace noted. It was true too; Joan hadn't been very receptive since she'd informed Grace about the possible pregnancy. Joan simply shrugged, now, at Grace as Grace walked by her, into the bathroom. Grace stopped before shutting the bathroom door. "Luke and I are going to go for some food, do you want to come with us?"

"No thanks, I'm supposed to meet Adam," Joan replied breezily. "There's gallery owner from New York in town visiting her family. Anyway, she wants to look at some of his pieces. Adam wants to ask her to look at some of mom's stuff too, if she likes his."

"Oh…that's good. Tell Rove I said congrats," Grace replied, still looking at Joan strangely. Joan nodded and turned around to leave. "Hey Girardi," Grace called. Joan turned around. "I'll meet you back here at 1:30, for, you know, the appointment," She said. Joan shook her head slowly, seeming to have the wind knocked out of her. She quickly recovered and put on a half fake-half relieved smile.

"Oh, that, I'll call and cancel that before I leave," She said to Grace with a dismissive wave of her hand. Grace looked on at Joan, shocked.

"Just like that?" Grace asked.

Joan nodded. "As fate would have it," She said, sounding more solemn and thoughtful now. Grace watched as Joan rested a hand at her stomach, leaning on the buckle of her belt. It was clear to Grace that Joan had spent time thinking about the fact that she indeed wasn't pregnant for at least all of the morning if not some of the previous night. Grace couldn't imagine the feeling, of thinking you were pregnant and having to go over all the possibilities in your head and then simply heading to the bathroom to pee almost two weeks later, and just like that, life is supposed to be back to normal.

"It seems, the oven is not cooking," Joan said with a deep breath, "I guess it was just teasing the promise of a bun."

"That's a really creepy metaphor to throw at someone when they've just woken up," Grace stated, seeing the dark and saddened look in Joan's eyes now and feeling nervous. "Is that like some kind of allusion to becoming the old woman who tries to cook Hansel and Gretel?"

Joan gave a slight smile to this. "Regardless…the appointment's not necessary," She cleared her throat, "At least not anymore. I'm, uhm, going to be late, I have to get going," She said.

Grace nodded. "We'll talk later?" She suggested.

"Yeah," Joan nodded back and then turned and headed for the steps.

Grace shut the door and put her clothes down on the closed hamper. She turned the water on and waited for it to heat up. It didn't take long since Joan had used it not too long before her. Grace rid herself of her pajamas and stepped into the steaming water, pulling the curtain shut as she did. For a long while, though not longer than five or six minutes, Grace stood, letting the water beat against her back. Her hair hung down into her eyes as she watched the water drip off the ends of her matted strands of hair, disappearing into the rising steam. Her mind ran rampant with memories as she stood there in the mist.

Grace jumped when she heard the door of the bathroom open and nearly let out a yelp.

"Sorry!" Helen called apologetically. "I'm sorry, Grace!" She called over the shower. "Luke told me you were in here. I guess you didn't hear me knock. I just need to grab something and I'll be on my way out," She assured.

"Uh…It's okay Mrs. Girardi," Grace called back. "I-I was just stuck in a thought."

"Okay," Helen called back, shutting the cabinet under the sink. "Just don't stay under the hot water too long, you'll burn your skin!" She called to Grace protectively. Grace chuckled.

"Okay," Grace called back, waiting for the door to click shut to finish her shower.

* * *

When Grace found Luke in the living room on the couch, Luke stretched and faked a stomach growl. 

"What's that stomach?" Luke said, leaning down towards his stomach. "If you knew that 'take a shower' meant an hour, you'd have had me order take out?" Luke continued. He smiled and nodded. "Me too."

"Aw, how cute, you're talking to the baby in there huh?" Grace flopped next to him, patting his stomach playfully. "I bet you stay up at night when I'm asleep and put headphones on there and let the little tyke listen to music, don't you?" She questioned, fighting to keep her face serious. Luke smiled.

"You're darn tootin' I do!" He said proudly. Grace sputtered slightly when she couldn't hold it in anymore and started laughing at Luke.

"Come on, all this making fun of you is making me hungry," She stood up and went to find her jacket.

"You don't have to tell me twice," Luke followed her to get his own jacket.

* * *

"Hey baby," Joan greeted Adam with a smile. She was just heading for his shed when he came walking out, wiping his hands on a dirty rag. 

"Hi," Adam replied happily, using his left arm to pull her to him and kiss her. He looked at her strangely when he pulled away. There was a distant look in her eyes. "What's up?" Adam asked her.

Joan shook her head. She focused in on Adam. He was standing there in front of her, his happiness was clear in his eyes though it was masked at the moment by his concern. Joan felt pangs of guilt for not telling Adam, even when he'd come over at two or three in the morning on a couple of instances in the past week or so. Joan simply put a smile on her face.

"Nothing's up. Is your dad's truck all packed?" She asked Adam.

"Nope," Adam shook his head. "Turns out Sadie's brother and sister-in-law only live five blocks away. She's going to come to the shed to look at everything," He smiled proudly then took a hold of Joan's hand and started pulling her. "Come on, you have to tell me if my set up looks all right."

* * *

After nearly an hour Adam and Joan had finalized their setup and were waiting on the front steps for Sadie Malone. Sadie owned an art gallery in Manhattan. It was relatively new, having opened in 2003, but was renowned for furnishing art pieces (paintings and sculptures alike) to wealthy debutantes and famous buyers. She had heard about Adam through her brother who had been walking his wife's Chihuahua, a yappy little five pound runt of a dog named El Salvador, when he happened past the Rove yard, and took an interest in the sculptures decorating the yard. Sadie's brother, Jensen, had been looking at the sculptures for about fifteen minutes before Carl spotted him and walked out onto the porch to ask what the man was doing staring at his yard with a Chihuahua. 

By Thanksgiving, Jensen had sent digital photos of the sculptures from the Rove yard to his sister along with contact information for Adam. Over the phone, Adam and Sadie had designated a meeting during the Christmas holidays. January 5th was the one day during her winter vacation that she could meet with Adam.

"So what happens if she likes your stuff?" Joan asked. Adam had his elbows on his knees and Joan had her arm hooked around his right arm and her head leaning on his shoulder. "Would she just give you money for the stuff she likes?"

"Well, no," Adam spoke up. "She'll make arrangements to have what she thinks are the best pieces shipped to her gallery. They'll be put on display and when, or rather, _if_ anything sells, they get a percentage of the money and then give me the rest," He said. "At least…I think that's how it works," He smiled at her. "I'm not positive."

"I know she'll love them all!" Joan said confidently. Adam smiled at Joan.

"Thanks Jane," He kissed the top of her head.

"Hi," A woman interrupted them standing at the gate. "I'm here to meet with Adam Rove," Sadie smiled, "I assume that's you. Can I come in?"

"Oh, yeah! Uhm, yes, of course!" Adam said as he and Joan jumped to their feet. Adam raced down and held the gate open for her. Sadie looked at the sculptures on the lawn as she passed them.

"I saw all of these in the pictures my brother sent," She smiled, still looking around as she shook Adam's hand. "Their pictures do them no justice," Sadie reached out and touched one of the metal bars of a nearby sculpture.

"I have more in the back, in my shed," Adam pointed over his shoulder. He realized Joan was standing next to him and he almost coughed. "Oh, uh, this is my girlfriend slash muse, Jane." He introduced. Sadie smiled warmly and stuck her hand out. Joan shook Sadie's hand, smiling back as well.

"Shall we head on to your shed then?" Sadie asked.

"Oh! Yeah! Of course, follow me!" Adam said, leading the way back.

* * *

Grace and Luke had decided to walk to get their lunch. Five minutes into the walk they regretted it immensely. There was snow on the ground in plowed and shoveled piles from the day before. It had gotten warm enough later in the day to melt and then refreeze into 

Hazardous see through ice patches. Despite the freezing temperatures, Grace and Luke were laughing at themselves every time one would hit an unseen patch of ice, start to flail and fall and then grab onto the other for support.

It took them twenty minutes to get to a pizza place. As soon as they walked in, the smell of garlic hit them. Grace heard Luke's stomach lurch and she smiled, stifling a laugh. The heat felt sticky on her face as she took her leather jacket off and hung it on the hook hanging next to the booth they found in the corner.

Luke put his jacket on a hook and went to the counter. He ordered an extra large pizza well done with extra sauce and double extra garlic, mozzarella fries and some sodas.

"So," Luke said halfway into their pizza. Grace finished chewing the bite she had just taken. This 'so' was definitely going to lead to a deep conversation, she could tell just by his voice.

"So, what?" She asked halfheartedly.

"So," Luke studied Grace for a moment. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Grace snorted, "You now for a scientist you ask very vague questions, brain," She replied. She couldn't figure out why but she just couldn't make this easy on him. If he wanted information he was going to have to work for it. Luke picked up on this fairly quickly.

"I just mean…if you want to talk," Luke shrugged, "About your mom or Ryan, or your dad even," He watched as she cringed at this.

"There's not much to talk about, really," Grace stated.

"When are you going to get that I can tell when you need to talk?" Luke asked. Grace looked at him, knowing he was right. He reached for his soda after finishing a fry smothered in mozzarella cheese, and started to take a big gulp.

"What would you do if I was pregnant?" Grace asked him. Luke sputtered; half of his gulp of soda cascaded back into the cup and down its side to his hand and the other half got inhaled into his lungs. He began to cough and hit his chest as if that would aid in expelling the carbonated liquid now bubbling in his lungs. Grace grabbed a handful of napkins and started to pat Luke's hand, chin and mouth dry as his coughing slowed and he stared wide eyed at Grace.

"Sorry whiz kid, didn't mean to drown you in your Dr. Pepper," She smirked at him.

"Why would you ask that?" Luke's voice was low and serious. Grace shrugged.

"I don't know," She said. "Just a thought, really."

Luke stared at Grace, still clearly shocked. "Are you…?" He moved his head closer speaking quieter now.

Grace's head shot up from looking at her half eaten piece of pizza. She shook her head. "No…_no_, oh God, no, I'm not," She assured. Luke seemed to breathe for the first time in almost three minutes. Grace almost laughed at him, but then she thought about it. She looked at him curiously. "Although, if I was…what would you do?" She asked.

"What do you mean what would _I _do?" He asked, as if the question were absurd. Grace looked at him questioningly. "First of all it would be what would we do. Second of all," He waited for her to look at him, "we already talked about this, a long time ago." He shrugged. "The same thing applies now as I said then, we know the consequences of our actions and if we're ready for the actions we're ready for the consequences."

Grace nodded slowly. "I know…but saying it is one thing. It'd be different if we were in the situation, wouldn't it?" She asked.

"No," Luke said without hesitation. Grace looked at him.

"Okay…yeah see I made this a little too intense…" She slid out of her side of the booth, "I'm going to the restroom," she excused herself with a lazy point of her index finger. Luke nodded, watching her go.

* * *

"Your art is so…" Sadie paused, spinning in circles to look around repeatedly at all of the pieces of Adam's art that she could see, reaching carefully to run a hand excitedly over a piece of a sculpture every now and then. Adam almost bounced on his toes he was so excited by this. "It's so…existential," Sadie confirmed. She nodded. "Oh yes, I know quite a few clients who would like this," Sadie whipped out a cell phone that looked more like a mini computer, "May I?" She asked. 

"Oh, uh, yeah, of course, be my guest," Adam nodded.

"Is this good?" Joan asked quietly, close to Adam's ear. Adam nodded vigorously, his eyes blazing with excitement. Joan smiled, excited for him.

"I'll just take a picture of these two right now," Sadie snapped the pictures and then hit some buttons, "There we go," She said, looking at Adam. "Now those pictures have been sent to my top five clients. We should know within a few minutes if they're interested."

Adam looked at Sadie, nervously. "Just like that?" He asked.

Sadie nodded, "Yep, just like-oh, here we go!" She looked down at the screen of her beeping phone. Adam watched intently. He felt Joan's grip tighten in anticipation on his arm. After hitting a few buttons, Sadie smiled. She looked at Adam and Joan's anticipating faces and smiled wider.

"Well, Mr. Rove, I have the highest bidder at 3,000 for that one right there, and 4,000 for the other," Sadie held her hand out, "Welcome to the Malone Gallery collection…that is, if you're interested," She smiled.

Adam stared at Sadie, his mouth hanging open. Joan gave his arm a little shake. "Are you serious? Of course I'm interested!" He eagerly shook her hand. "Thank you so much, thank you, thank you," He gushed. Sadie tried not to laugh too hard at him as he hugged her tightly and then hugged Joan tightly, who was also laughing slightly.

"Oh, please, don't thank me! This is my job!" Sadie replied. "It's always nice to find wonderful new artists, especially in my own hometown," She said. "Now, how much longer is your school vacation, I'd like to have you up to my offices to draw up some paper work, possibly to transport some of your work so we can avoid shipping." Sadie got right to business, pulling out a palm pilot and clicking away at it with the tiny pen. Adam looked at Joan who smiled encouragingly at him.

"We're flying back to California on the 11th," Joan supplied for Sadie.

"Excellent," Sadie marked some things down, "Would it be possible for you to drive up on the 9th then? Say 10 am so that my crew can set some of your pieces up while we're running the paperwork through? Do you have access to a truck to transport your artwork with you?" She asked quickly.

Adam glanced at Joan and then looked at Sadie. "Yeah, the 9th is fine. I'll rent a truck for the transport," He nodded. Sadie smiled.

"Wonderful," She looked around, "Are you willing to part with everything here you have set up today?" She asked. Adam nodded. "Don't be afraid to say no and keep a couple of them. An artist should never give up something sentimental to his or herself," Sadie said firmly. Adam nodded understandingly.

"I can part with these," He assured. "A-Are there any on the lawn that you want?" Adam asked nervously.

"Let's go take another look," Sadie suggested. "And then we'll go and grab a bite to eat to talk about how the selling and the billing works, my treat," She said. The left the shed and Sadie found three sculptures from the lawn that she wanted to sell. She would have taken them all, but Adam wanted some of them left behind because his dad liked them.

"Okay kids, who's up for pizza?" Sadie asked, "We can talk about the other artist you wanted to tell me about over a few slices, what do you say?"

"Definitely," Adam grinned.

"Oh, I'll drive," Joan dug in her pocket for her keys, and Adam climbed into the backset of Squiggy, letting Sadie into the passenger seat.

* * *

Grace was alone in the restroom, not that this was surprising, since she and Luke had so far been the only customers in the pizza place. She was washing her hands at one of the small sinks when she heard something from one of the stalls. She looked over and saw no feet under the stalls. She felt a chilly wind and looked up to see that the window above the middle of the five stalls was open, with no screen in it. She was looking at it strangely when the door of the stall it was over swung open. 

"Hey Sis," Ryan said. Before Grace could even react, Ryan had rushed forward and pinned Grace against the restroom door, thus making it impossible for anyone to open the door even if they tried because it was on a swinging hinge.

Grace found herself staring back at Ryan. His right arm from elbow to fist was shoved across her neck, jammed hard into her collarbone, to pin her against the door.

"What's your-," Grace had begun to yell so Ryan clamped his left hand firmly over her mouth.

"We don't want to alert anyone that I'm here now would we?" He asked with a wicked grin. Grace stared at him coldly. Ryan felt her jaw open, and he pulled his fist away only long enough to jam it into Grace's gut, knocking the wind out of her. Grace would have crumpled down the door to the floor had Ryan not still been pinning her as she coughed and gasped for a breath now.

"Why are you…doing this?" She asked between breaths. "What…do you want?"

Ryan snickered, shaking his head, as Grace put her head back against the door. Ryan flung his hand towards her head, making he flinch as he hit the wood of the door next to her head. "Your perfect little good deed doer friend, Joan…" He began, Grace looked at him. "Yeah, you see, she doesn't know it yet but she's just like me," He grinned. "She's going to tire of being a gopher soon and then where are you going to be?"

"She's nothing like you," Grace sneered at the thought that her best friend was anything like this monster. It was then that Grace noticed that Ryan had Sarah's eyes, just like Grace had. Grace squirmed, feeling her stomach churn in disgust. Joan wasn't the just like Ryan, Grace was…at least physically. Ryan laughed that sinister laugh and Grace felt every muscle in her tense as he pressed against her, his arm pinching her throat closed tighter.

"I'm balancing out all those 'good ripples' she unfairly caused…" Ryan said through gritted teeth, "You don't want to tip the scales and make the world perfect do you? I mean, even if it is a shame that I have to take down your perfect new family in the process."

Grace couldn't respond, she was too busy trying to inhale as much air as possible. Ryan noticed the color changing in her face and loosened his grip only enough to allow some air in.

"Come on now, Grace…calm yourself," He smiled at her. "I don't want to have to hurt my baby sister," He said to her. Grace felt the familiar boil of anger rising within her. The anger and hatred was intensified by all that Ryan had done. It was one thing for Ryan to come after Grace and hurt her like he had over the summer; it was another to go after the Girardi family just because Grace was associating with them. She felt herself sneer at him.

"What's that?" Ryan relinquished enough pressure to allow Grace speech.

"I'm not…your sister," Grace forced out, breathing hard. Ryan laughed.

"Oh, well, well now, genetics outweigh fantasies now don't that?" He asked her. "Otherwise, I would feel inclined to agree with you. You are pretty sad and pathetic. But then, that's why you've ditched your family for Luke's, isn't it?" He laughed as Grace struggled to swing at Ryan unsuccessfully.

"I guess this is our years of missed sibling rivalry playing out isn't it?" He pressed closer to her, choking her again. Grace stared at him as she gasped for air. "I know what you're thinking," He smiled, "You think I'm doing this because of what mom did to me don't you? You want to know why I don't just kill her and satisfy myself right?" He didn't wait for an answer as Grace's face turned red. Ryan's face was inches from hers. "I don't need to kill her…she's already taken care of that for me," He continued his monologue.

Grace's eyes were glazing over. Ryan's face was coming in and out of focus as she struggled against him. "But since she's got some time left, I'm going to give her a run for her money. I'm going to get to her through you," He laughed at the reaction on Grace's strangling face. "That's right! And when I'm through with you, you'll be as crazy as that Bonnie girl. Yeah, you remember her, don't you? She's locked up in a padded room thanks to me," He laughed maniacally. "I was gonna start with that new family of yours…pick them off one by one…" He smiled. "But, I underestimated that little Angel of yours and He-man, master of the universe too. I won't next time though. They can't always save you. Remember that." He grinned, laughing again.

"Now…I can't stick around here as long as I wanted. I've gotten what I've come back for, though. You'll be happy to know I'm leaving the country. Sort of like a vacation, if you will," His smile widened and then faded. "Don't you fret though…I'll be back…you just won't know when," Ryan let Grace go. Her body slid down to the floor, panting for breath as he backed away towards the window again. "I'll be sure to keep in touch, Sis," He winked at her. "Your days are numbered, Grace…just like your mother's. Remember that," He sneered before climbing out the window.

Grace pulled herself into the corner of the wall, her head bobbing as she sucked in air, shaking and trying to wrap her head around what just occurred. She pulled her knees up to her and put her forehead down on them breathing hard.

* * *

"Hey dogboy!" Joan slid across from Luke in his booth. 

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Luke asked her.

"Sadie's treating us to lunch while we talk about Adam and Mom's art," Joan said, pointing over her shoulder with her thumb to Adam and Sadie at a table nearby.

"Oh…and who's Sadie?" Luke asked.

"Art Gallery owner from New York," Joan said quickly, grabbing a cheese fry and delving into it. "Where's Grace?"

"Oh, uh, she went to the restroom a while ago," He said, glancing in the direction of the restroom. "I don't know what's taking her so long, though," He said. Joan stood.

"No problem, I'll find out, I need to head there anyhow," She assured before heading off towards the restroom.

* * *

Grace jumped slightly when the door swung open towards her. 

"Hey, Grace you in here?" Joan asked as she leaned over to look under the stalls. She turned around when she didn't see any feet under the stalls and stopped in her tracks upon seeing Grace sitting on the floor staring off. "Grace? What's going on?" Joan crouched in front of Grace.

Grace's eyes wandered up to Joan's blankly for a second before she blinked and then seemed to recognize Joan's face.

"Grace?" Joan asked again, putting her hand on Grace's shoulder. Grace's face turned a strange shade of green and before Joan could ask what was wrong again, Grace shoved past Joan and made it to a stall just in time to drop in front of the toilet before her stomach emptied itself.

Joan grabbed some paper towels and wet them, squeezing into the stall with Grace and pulling Grace's hair out of her face. "Hey, whoa, easy there, Grace," Joan used her free hand to rub circles on Grace's back in a feeble attempt to calm Grace. "We've already had a morning sickness scare, it's not your turn for a while," Joan tried to make a joke, unsure what was going on.

"Hunter," Grace said, sinking back against the wall and accepting the wet paper towels to wipe her forehead and then her mouth off.

"What?" Joan asked, confused.

Grace looked up at the window and then at Joan. "Call your dad…" She said to Joan. "Hunter's in the area. He's gonna flee town. He came in through the window," Grace said quickly. Joan reached for her phone and dialed.

"Did he attack you?" Joan asked, noticing bruises forming at Grace's neck. Grace nodded, swallowing hard. "Daddy," Joan said into the phone. "No, daddy…yes, they've been following us since New Years since your ordered them too," Joan said, speaking about the undercover tails that had been sent to watch Will's family. "Daddy I'm at Pizza Palace, Ryan attacked Grace in the restroom. She said he's going to leave town," Joan began. She held the phone out to Grace. "He wants to talk to you," She said.

Grace took the phone and Joan listened as Grace recounted the story to Will Girardi. Will told them he would send cars out o the restaurant right away and for them to stay put. He was going to send out APB's and photos and would meet them at home.

* * *

"How is it that bad things keeps happening on great days?" Joan asked in the Girardi kitchen. Luke sat to Grace's left, his arm protectively around her shoulders, and a worried and angry look on his face. Helen came over and sat to Grace's right, holding up a towel covered bag of ice for Grace to put on her collarbone. Grace flinched as Helen held it to the swollen and stiff part of Grace's right shoulder. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Grace," Helen frowned. They had been home for two hours and had recounted what happened to Helen already. Now they were waiting for Will to return home.

"It's fine," Grace lied. She wanted the focus to be off her. "What happened with the Art lady?" She asked Adam. Adam seemed to frown and reluctant to be happy when such bad things kept happening to people he cared about. Grace picked up on this easily. "Come on, I know she had to like it, Rove, don't hold back on me now," Grace said, almost angry that he wouldn't tell her.

Adam smiled slightly. "She wants 16 of my pieces for now. That's not counting the two she sold just by picture while she was talking to us," He said, his excitement winning over him. The others smiled as he told them the story.

"Tell them how much your sculptures sold for!" Joan gave him a light elbow. "Oh! And she wants to look at your stuff too, Mom! She's coming back over Easter and she's going to call to set up a meeting with you," Joan continued to a shocked looking Helen.

"How much did they sell for?" Luke asked after a few minutes of silence all around.

"7,000 altogether," Adam said, not truly believing the words that were leaving his mouth. Helen, Luke and Grace stared at him, clearly shocked.

"For two sculptures?" Grace asked. Adam nodded proudly. Grace smiled and almost laughed. "That's awesome!" She said, not wanting them to feel bad when such a great thing had happened for Adam.

A half an hour later Will walked through the door with three detectives in two intent on taking statements from everyone after Will made sure they were all safe and unharmed, despite Grace's bruises.

* * *

"What have we got?" The emergency room doctor asked, running alongside the hospital bed as the paramedics raced in. 

"Male, 18, suspected overdose," The paramedic said shortly as the transferred the boy from the stretcher to a bed.

The doctor began barking orders as the nurses hooked machines up.

"Any identification? Any idea what he OD'd on?" The doctor asked as he signed for the patient. The paramedic read off the clipboard.

"Friedman F. Friedman…" He stopped, shaking his head, "his parents were mean. Uh, parents have been contacted and are on their way. We found no evidence of what he took."

"Great. Okay I want a tox screen now, I want his stomach pumped," The doctor began to bark off more orders as nurses hung IV bags and went about fulfilling the orders.

* * *

"Let me get this straight…we plaster Ryan Hunter's ugly mug all over televisions, to every law enforcement officer up and down the eastern coast of this entire country," Will said, heaving deep breaths and trying to remain calm as he spoke to a room full of airport security officers, two of Will's own detectives and the man who was supposed to be in charge of all operations inside the airport. "As well as holds on all of his accounts, and even on his passport…" Will looked at the men in front of him. "Any of you want to explain to me how a known, wanted fugitive managed to get through every checkpoint in this airport without being stopped once, _and_ is now safely enjoying the New Year in Bali?" 

A couple of the men swallowed hard, averting their eyes. Will watched them all, waiting for an answer. It was clear to all that Will Girardi was rhetorically asking this question and would take no excuses from them anyhow. In fact, Will was about to go on tearing into them further when his cell phone began to buzz to life.

Will reached down and snatched the device out of its holder, flipping it open and placing it to his ear with out looking at who it was.

"What?" He barked into the mouthpiece.

"Whoa, dad, relax," Kevin, replied back. Will sighed.

"I'm sorry," He apologized to Kevin, rubbing his forehead as he left the room to talk privately to his son. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, mom told me what happened and I wanted to see if there was anything I could do," Kevin replied.

"I don't think there is, but thank you," Will stated. "I'll call you with details in the morning. You should get some sleep it's late."

"Okay. Oh, I just thought you should know we found evidence that there's a Cayman account with Ryan Hunter's stench all over it," Kevin said. "I mean, because I know you froze all of his known accounts. Anyway…good luck. Goodnight dad."

"Thanks," Will said. "Goodnight, son." Will replied before hanging up. He rubbed his temples again, wishing for nothing more then to be face to face with Ryan Hunter in a locked room with a baseball bat for an hour.

Will sighed and turned around, heading back into the room full of frightened men and began barking at them angrily again.

* * *

"Can't sleep?" Helen asked, sitting next to Grace on the couch. Grace was watching a 24-hour news channel for periodic updates on the search for Ryan Hunter, knowing full well that Ryan was out of the country and somewhere else by now. She still had ice on her shoulder. Helen held out the container of ice cream she was eating from and an extra spoon. 

"No thanks," Grace shook her head. She wasn't hungry at all. She sighed. "I just can't get tired," She said.

Helen nodded. "I understand," She said. "Do you mind if I keep you company?"

Grace shrugged. "If you want," She replied. Grace didn't want to be alone, but she also felt awkward. Luke had gone up to get a shower and changed.

Helen and Grace, though, sat in a comfortably numb silence, watching the news reports intently in the dark.

**

* * *

A/N: Don't kill me!** Well, I guess you could if you want. Okay, my reasoning for the negative pregnancy: although technically the voting won out for a negative, I didn't think it was the right time for another baby since Caleb was there. Also, I figured a scare would be more intense for Joan, having to deal with the possibility and then the complete taking away of that possibility without Joan being in control seemed intense to me. Anyway, moving on!

**Chapter title from "Are You Ready" By Creed.**

**Responses: Shout out to Laura! **

**MDM79 – **I hope you didn't fall off the edge of your seat! I've done that before…it's not fun. Lol, thanks for the kudos on the lyrics! Luke does deserve nice things, which is why he got nice things. ) I hope this chapter didn't disappoint after the last one left you on the edge of your seat!

**Jane and Adam – **I hurried back…despite the fact that it wasn't positive, what did you think?

**Carol – **I'm sorry your computer crashed! I've been there, it sucks doesn't it? Lol, I'm glad this story was on your mind the whole time! That's a compliment I don't deserve!

**Coveredinrain16 – **I reply in the order that people leave reviews for a chapter ) So feel special because the first one is always special! What'd you think of the resolve of the preg. issue? P.S. I totally watch the commentaries, and Jason is hilarious! Lol and yeah…I felt dirty too…but come on you could totally picture it couldn't you?

**Butterfly Dancing – **Yeah…I didn't think Friedman would be evil enough to go through with seriously injuring someone. Thanks for the kudos on the song lyrics, I laughed the whole time I wrote them. I'm glad you had fun on your camping trip! What was the most fun part of it? I eagerly await your update!

**Audrey – **Come onnnn you can so picture it! You just don't want to accept Luke's hotness as a rock star! Lol. Hey Friedman needed to shave that afro okay, there I said it! P.S. – upppppdddaaaattteeeee! Lol, I'm kidding, I understand on the busy front, yo.

**Kool-Wolf – **Dude! Sorry it wouldn't let you review, I guess it hates you as much as I do? Oh! Didn't see that one coming did you? Thanks for the kudos foe, are you happy with the negative? Glad your sister's house was fun. Hey, having just one sibling isn't all the great. My mom and my dad were both the youngest of 4. You have a brother you haven't met? How come…er, if I can ask? Everyone's family is screwed up in some way, some people just act like theirs isn't. Loathe you back, yo.

**Kerrigan – **Hey, thanks for the vote and the kudos, glad you like! How was this chapter?

**Sam – **Phew, not cliché yet, good deal. Lol, I've seen my dad walk around with his glasses on…it's disastrous. Lol, Luke was pretty hot rocking the rock star gear huh? I think I mentioned the band name in the chapter where they perform for the first time, I'll have to go back and check. Heh, I couldn't think of a good name…I was watching the X-files…get it? Sad, I know…but a good name! I want that for Christmas too dude! It was written to a tune, but not like another song's tune. A tune in my head…I wrote it on my guitar, and I laughed the whole time. ) Thanks for the kudos!

**Unconventional – **Thanks for the kudos! I loved writing Luke's song. It was way more fun than it probably should've been! I know the decision wasn't positive, but what did you think of this chapter?

**Tiffany – **Another update, does this make you happy? I admit your last two were fairly quick (but you should still update soon!) I'm anxiously awaiting an update….!

_Much love to everyone, much loathe to my foe!_


	15. This Heart It Will Always Feel Like This

**Holds Me Together  
Rating: T-M Just in case  
Disclaimer:** You know the drill.  
**A/N:** I love you people! Sorry for the proofreading as always. **FYI: Responses to reviews are at the bottom of each chapter.** Read on wit yo bad self, now!

**

* * *

Chapter 15 – This Heart, It Will Always Feel Like This**

"All packed up?" Grace asked as she came into view up the sidewalk. She took the ear bud headphones she had on out of her ears and draped them across her shoulders as she approached the small U-Haul truck that was parked outside of the Girardi house. It was nearly 7am. Grace had gotten up at 6 and found out it was just warm enough to go run without the possibility of hitting too many ice patches. She hadn't gone on a morning run since coming back to Maryland from school, and found she was missing it.

Joan was leaning against the U-Haul truck and Adam and Luke were making final preparations in the back of the truck, to assure that the sculptures and paintings wouldn't succumb to any kind of damage on the ride to New York City. She yawned but nodded as she looked at Grace.

"Since when do you wake up this early and run?" Joan asked Grace.

Grace smirked. "Since my blood pressure has reached hypertension levels with all drama going on," She replied.

Joan nodded with a small snicker. Adam hopped out of the truck, followed by Luke and the two shut and locked the back door.

"I think we're ready," Adam smiled proudly.

"Great, can I go back to sleep now?" Luke mumbled. Adam had recruited Joan to ask Luke to help load the artwork from Adam's house earlier in the morning. Luke had been too asleep and tired to argue. Adam and Joan laughed at Luke, who rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I'm serious," He said.

"I think your mom was making pancakes when I left," Grace said to him. Without another word, Luke made his way into the house with only a wave back to the others.

"I'm going to go in and say goodbye to mom and dad before we go," Joan smiled and kissed Adam quickly before heading into the house.

"So, Rove," Grace began, "how much does Sadie think she can sell the rest of this for?" She asked Adam. Adam took a deep breath, sticking his thumbs in the back pockets of his jeans in thought.

"I'm not sure," He shrugged and looked at her. "So long as they sell, I'm happy."

"What happens when all of them sell?" Grace asked.

Adam smiled slightly and then shrugged. "I won't know until after our meeting today," He said. Grace nodded.

"Well, I'm gonna head inside," Grace pointed towards the house as she started taking a few steps forward, "clean myself up before I get pneumonia. Have fun in New York, Rove, don't go over board," She said with a wave.

"I'll try and behave," Adam smiled, "Later Grace."

* * *

"See you later Grace," Joan said as she passed Grace in the foyer and headed for the door. 

"Hey, Girardi," Grace said, stopping Joan, who turned around to look at Grace. "Did you tell Rove?"

Joan squirmed slightly in her spot under Grace's gaze. She bit the corner of her lip. She looked at Grace guiltily and shook her head no. Grace's facial expressions softened but only for a quick moment. She offered Joan a slightly nervous smirk.

"Well…remember what happened last time when you kept secrets from him," She offered.

Joan let out a sigh and ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "That was a little different," She argued.

Grace smiled just slightly and shook her head. "Not really," She said. When Joan looked up she continued. "Both seem pretty life changing to me," She nodded and then shrugged. "Not that that's bad, of course." She added. Joan sighed. "You'd better get going, Rove looks a little anxious," Grace said, spying Adam pacing slightly back and forth outside and glancing at the house.

"Yeah," She nodded. "I'll tell him when we go out to dinner…not you know before his meeting with Sadie. I don't want to freak him out," Joan said.

"Well…good luck," Grace nodded. "See ya, Girardi," Grace turned to go into the kitchen.

"Bye Grace," Joan turned and left the house.

* * *

From the dining room Grace watched through the window cut out as Luke helped Helen dispose of the extra pancakes she'd made, thinking Joan and Adam would stop to eat. Will was talking on the phone, probably to someone at work who would inevitably cause him to leave breakfast early. Helen was shoveling some more pancakes onto a center plate that had a small mountain of pancakes already piled on it. She scooped up the bowl of pancake mix and dumped the last 4 gobs of batter into the big frying pan she was using, finishing off the batch. She glanced over and saw Luke grab four more pancakes and laughed, making a comment that Luke should be a magician since he was clearly able to make pancakes disappear with the wave of a fork. Grace couldn't help the tiny smile that decorated the corners of her mouth as she watched the scene before her. 

Lily came bustling in through the back door with Caleb in his portable car seat.

"Okay," She said, letting Will make faces at a Caleb as she entered and waved a hello to him while he was on the phone. She ruffled Luke's hair as she passed and he muffled a 'hello' back through a mouthful of pancakes before standing up and leaning over to talk to Caleb as Lily greeted Helen with a kiss on the cheek. "What do you need from the store?" She asked Helen

"What stores are you going to?" Helen replied.

"Supermarket, pharmacy, and one or two other places before lunch," Lily announced with a smile. Helen put the last pancakes on a different, empty plate and then ripped a piece of paper from the pad that hung on the refrigerator and a nearby pencil. She jotted a few things down quickly and folded the piece of paper before handing it to Lily.

"Let me just grab some money for you," Helen said, walking towards where all of her school stuff was waiting for her to leave for work. She reached into her purse and was pulling out bills when Lily waved her free hand at Helen.

"Oh please, it's not like these things will cost a fortune," Lily said, resting Caleb's car seat on the table, deciding it was getting heavy to rest in the crook of her arm. Luke was waving a fluffy stuffed giraffe rattle at Caleb who was kicking and swinging his arms, still not quite under control of his movements as he gurgled and cooed around his pacifier.

For a moment, Grace didn't want anything in the scene before her to change. As if that were the cue, however, Will shut his cell phone and placed it back in it's holder on his belt.

"I have to go-,"

"In to work, we know," Helen sighed, exchanging a quick goodbye kiss with him as he pulled his billowing trench coat on. He accepted a kiss on the cheek from Lily, who hadn't wanted to interrupt him while he was on the phone when she walked in, and then leaned down to say goodbye to Caleb and place a kiss on his head despite the knit cap that was covering it.

"Later dad," Luke said, returning his attention to Caleb as his dad clapped him on the shoulder and told Luke to have a good day. Grace let the tiny smile fade as she entered the kitchen. Will said good morning to her on his way out the door and she returned it.

"There you are Grace," Helen smiled.

"Hey," Grace said sheepishly. She walked over and stood next to Luke, unable to fight off and resist the urge to coo at Caleb.

"Good morning," Lily said, helping herself to coffee now that Caleb was being occupied by the two. She sat adjacent to Helen who had finally sat down, after Luke told her to leave the dishes and he would wash them. Helen was just adding hot water to her mug, which had a teabag string protruding and hanging down its outside edge. Helen resumed her argument with Lily.

"Take this, it'll be enough money for those things," Helen insisted, holding the money out towards Lily.

"Helen, don't be ridiculous!" Lily chuckled. "Please, it's the least I can do after all you do for us!"

"She is right, Mrs. Girardi," Grace said, with a sideways glance to Helen, as she leaned with her hands on her knees, smiling and making faces as she resumed talking to Caleb.

"How many times have I told you, you can just call me Helen?" Helen switched gears, watching Grace's interaction with Caleb, fascinated that Grace was always acting the complete opposite way she expected Grace to act. Helen also took this time to slide the money in her hand into Lily's coat pocket undetected by everyone but Grace, who just smiled knowingly at Helen.

"Can't," Grace replied, "It's too weird."

"Oh gee, thanks," Helen laughed before taking a sip of her tea. "I'm surprised you're up this early actually…I distinctly remember writing tardy slips for you consecutively, without fail…" Helen teased with a smile, delving in for another sip of the tea. Grace almost chuckled at this.

"You're supposed to ask the reason for my tardiness," Grace smiled wistfully, sitting down now on Luke's right leg, since he was sitting and still occupying himself with his nephew.

Lily watched the interaction, interested, but silent. Luke noticed this, and only gave a glance at Lily, trying to read her thoughts before reaching into tickle Caleb. Helen chuckled.

"Oh what was it you use to say?" Helen asked, trying to remember. "The reason for my tardiness-,"

"Is I am late," Grace finished the sentence with her, her lips curling into a smile, reminiscing. Both women laughed.

"Oh, I do hope you're giving your professors as much hell as you gave Gavin Price," Helen said. Grace snickered slightly; she was, more so, at least in Henley's class. Helen watched as a thoughtful expression crossed her face.

Grace's face held a far off, distant look. She didn't answer at first and at her silence, Luke and Lily both tuned into the conversation, anticipating Grace's response. Grace offered a half smirk to herself. She lost herself in thought, even though she'd heard Helen's question. It was here, in the very seat Luke was occupying to be exact, that she'd decided that the Girardi family didn't suck. Actually, she'd already been aware that Helen Girardi didn't suck, and that Luke Girardi was a geeky, science genius that got excited as Lischak during Chemistry. It was in that seat, at the time she was actually sitting in the seat and not Luke's lap, that she'd sat, burning matches and wishing to just leave this house, even though it meant returning to her hell hole where her mother was probably drunk and hr father was probably just getting home and making dinner.

Grace remembered Adam spouting off chemical formulas for some chemistry homework about wood combustion. She let out a chuckle, remembering how ill suited they were to be sitting there together. It was the second day she'd ever met Joan. Joan had been transferred into her, Adam and Luke's AP Chemistry class the day before. Now, Joan was trying to keep the group focused. She tried to get answers out of everyone. Grace had been lighting matches. Each time she lit one and stared at it, Joan grabbed her wrist and blew it out, before continuing to talk fast and try and figure out something that she clearly didn't understand. Adam had been staring, fidgeting with his hands and spouting off formulas, explaining that he knew these things because of his photographic memory, and that he could see them but he didn't get them. Luke had come down to get some snacks, amused by their exchange of phrases, and impressed that Grace knew that fire didn't actually burn. "It's so hot that you know that," Grace remembered turning her head down so her hair continued to fall over her cheeks which had turned a light shade of pink at the comment. She remembered putting her legs up on the table, and continuing the conversation as she snapped her fingers at Luke, indicating for him to give her the container he couldn't open, which she promptly opened, removed a cookie from and gave back to him.

Grace also remembered rushing out of the house as soon as she realized they were finished, mumbling a 'good night' to Helen as she brushed past her and Will on her way out.

"Grace?" Helen interrupted Grace's thoughts.

Grace shook her head with a smile, "Sorry," She cleared her throat sadly. "I was just remembering something," She glanced around at Luke and Lily who were both watching her curiously now. "Right…I'm going to go get a shower," Grace stood and leaned over to say goodbye to Caleb. She told Helen to have a nice day and then excused herself.

* * *

When Grace returned to the kitchen with new clothes, and freshly dried hair, Helen was just getting together to leave. Lily was drinking her second cup of coffee, wiggling a rattle in front of Caleb's face to keep him amused. 

"Just in time," Helen smiled to Grace. She pulled her coat on and fixed the collar. "Luke left to meet with Glynis and someone named Sweet Lou," Helen continued, "He said he'd call you as soon as he got a free second."

Grace nodded, putting some left over pancakes in the microwave. "Thanks," She said to Helen.

"Okay, then, I'm off," Helen kissed Caleb, and then Lily. She turned to Grace. "Will you be all right by yourself?" She asked, concerned.

Grace smirked, "Hey the mod squad's parked across the street should anything go awry, right?" She said with just a slight sarcastic tone. Lily smiled at this; she was always intrigued by what came out of Grace's mouth. Lily also loved to watch Helen and Grace's interactions, fascinated by the fact that Grace was cautious and careful the most when speaking to Helen. Helen smiled slightly at the remark and studied Grace for a minute before reaching out and hugging Grace. Grace squirmed only slightly, mostly because Lily was in the room and Grace was well aware that Lily was watching them.

"Uhm, Mrs. Girardi, you're going to be late," Grace said when Helen lingered on the hug longer then Grace expected. The microwave had beeped and Grace noticed the time and knew Helen would indeed be late.

"Oh, I know you just don't like publicly displaying affection," Helen said with a small laugh before hurrying to pick up her supplies. "If calling me by my first name is too weird for you, that probably is too," Helen smiled and began to make her way out.

"No, that's not true at all…" Grace flushed as she said this. She caught one of the boxes Helen had as it fell free. "I'll, uhm, help you bring this stuff out," She grabbed the loosest of the things Helen was carrying so that it wouldn't fall and carried it out to the car. "Have a good day," Grace said as Helen started the car. Helen smiled and waved as she pulled out of the driveway.

* * *

"I'm hitting some stores and then meeting Kevin for lunch," Lily said when Grace entered the kitchen and disposed of the pancakes, not feeling hungry after all. "Do you want to join me and Caleb?" 

Grace considered this for a minute. Lily watched Grace for her reaction, wondering if Grace would feel awkward around just Lily. Most of the time Joan, Kevin, Helen or Luke was around when Lily and Caleb were.

"Come on…you don't want to spend the morning all by yourself in a cold, empty house do you?" Lily said, looking hopefully at Grace before grabbing Caleb's car seat by the handle and holding him up close to Grace, speaking in a ridiculous mock baby voice. "Come on aunt Grace, don't leave me alone with my crazy mommy all morning! Save me!" She pleaded. Lily made a face and looked at the baby. "You making' fun of me punk?" She replied to herself.

"Right…okay I'll go with you, if you promise not to do that in public," Grace spoke up. Lily smiled.

"Deal," She said. "Go get your coat. I'll meet you out front at the car, so I can hook him in."

Grace nodded and poured herself a travel mug of coffee to take with her before pulling her leather jacket on and pulling some gloves on her hands and then left the house, heading down the front walk.

* * *

"Hey guys," Luke said as Glynis and Sweet Lou joined him at the table he'd saved in the coffee shop that Glynis had called and asked him to meet them at. Glynis had sounded upset on the phone, so Luke had decided not to wait for Grace, worried about what was wrong. 

"Hey," Lou said, holding Glynis' chair for her before he and Luke quickly shook hands. Glynis made a quiet, strangled sound. Luke looked between her and Lou.

"What's going on?" Luke asked, feeling panic rising in him. He didn't like when people were visibly distraught enough to cause them to delay relaying the problem to him. Lou looked at Glynis, waiting for her to speak up. After a few minutes, when her eyes welled up, Lou crossed his hands over his stomach, leaning slightly back in his chair. He sighed.

"Your friend is in the hospital," Sweet Lou said.

"Who?" Luke asked. Glynis let out a meep.

"We only found out today," She said quickly, her lips tightly stuck together as her chin quivered.

"Who?" Luke asked. "What happened?"

"Uh, I think his name was Friedman?" Lou asked, looking at Glynis to see if she could help him tell Luke. Glynis had come in crying and telling him the story so fast that he'd only caught part of it.

"Friedman?" Luke asked, confused. "What happened?" Luke looked from Lou to Glynis for an answer.

Glynis let out another whimper, covering her mouth as she started crying.

"Glynis, what's going on? What happened? Is he all right?" Luke asked. He looked at Lou for an answer. Lou shrugged.

"I'm not sure, bro, I didn't understand that part," He said apologetically, as he reached his hand up and put it comfortingly on Glynis' back.

"Oh it's so horrible, Luke!" Glynis put her head down in her hands. "You have to…y-you have to help him!" She pleaded.

"Glynis…" Luke said, a little more calmly. "Tell me what happened and I'll do what I can to help…" Luke suggested. Glynis' shoulder shook as she began to recount what she knew.

* * *

"So, you didn't have an awfully dreadful time with me and Caleb, now did you?" Lily asked; she and Grace were sitting at a corner table in a restaurant Grace had never been in. Caleb was in his car seat, situated on a chair next to Lily, who was rocking him as they waited for Kevin. 

Grace smirked, "Well it wasn't as bad as say, Chinese water torture, but I wouldn't say it was a party either…" She said jokingly.

"Hey, I'm not the one that puked on you," Lily joked back and then looked at Caleb, "Now was I?" She said in a singsong voice. Caleb seemed to be fighting a losing battle against his naptime. Grace just smiled slightly, watching Lily. It struck her for a moment to picture Joan as the one sitting across from her rocking a baby to sleep for a nap, and Grace shuddered slightly.

"Well now if I knew I was paying to feed an extra mouth, I might have been kind enough to bring some extra money," Kevin said as he wheeled to their table, slid a chair over and pulled right in on the other side of Caleb.

"I pay for myself, dude," Grace assured, causing Kevin to brush the comment off with a dismissive wave.

"Hey there little man…oh yeah that's it fall asleep when _I_ talk to you," He said, leaning over to look at his son. He smiled and then exchanged a quick kiss with Lily.

"How was shopping?" Kevin asked as he picked up a menu and started reading over his options.

Grace busied herself in her menu as Lily and Kevin struck up a conversation about what they were going to have for dinner, what they were going to do over the weekend and other random topics of conversation that she didn't feel she should intrude on.

* * *

Miles away, Adam was glad he'd gotten the smallest rental truck he could since the alley he had to turn down to park out back of Sadie's gallery to unload his art was so narrow. He'd even had to have Joan get out and direct him as he backed down the alley nervously. 

He cut the engine and climbed out of the truck, locking it behind him and stuffing the keys in his pocket. He stretched his arms out and curved his back, trying to crack his spine back into place as Joan walked up to him.

"Well…that was an interesting drive," He said with half a smile.

Joan laughed, "Which part, the gridlock or the part were about a thousand angry New Yorkers punched the truck because you stopped too late and were in the crosswalk?" She asked.

Adam smiled and was going to retort when Sadie appeared. "Hey you two," She smiled warmly, reaching out to offer each a warm hug. Joan wondered how someone who owned a rich art gallery in New York could be so kind all the time.

"Do you want me to unload these?" Adam asked pointing over his shoulder at the truck.

"If you open up the back, I'll get Cody and Bryant to lug it all up to the office," Sadie said, reaching for a walkie-talkie that was attached to her waist. The three of them trekked to the back of the truck and Adam unlocked the latch and slid the door open as Sadie called for Cody and Bryant to come outside. Adam was just finishing pulling the ramp down when two tall, muscular men came out each with a rectangular flatbed dolly truck that looked like it could fit 4 or 5 of Adam's pieces of art at a time.

"Okay, these guys'll take it from here," Sadie smiled and walked over to the door. "Why don't you two follow me and we'll head to my office," She said with a wave of her hand. Adam looked at Joan. Joan smiled and looped her arm through his as they followed Sadie inside.

* * *

As they walked through a storage hallway and out through the main floor to an elevator that required Sadie to swipe a clearance card to gain access to, Adam stared around at the other art all around, lost in his own world and commenting quietly, mostly to himself about the pieces he passed. 

"Wow, do you own this whole building?" Joan asked as they reached the 11th floor and the elevator bell buzzed before the doors slid open. Sadie smiled as she stepped out and Adam and Joan stepped out.

"At first I just rented the first three floors but as business picked up I bought out up to the first eleven floors," Sadie explained easily as they passed through two glass double doors with the gallery's emblem frosted on them.

"Wow…you must sell a lot of paintings," Joan replied. Adam's nerves had kicked in and he found no words to say to join in the conversation.

Sadie said hello to the receptionist as they stopped at her desk. "Hi Laney, any messages yet?"

"Of course," Laney smiled and handed Sadie a group of pink slips.

"Laney, this is Adam Rove, the artist from my hometown that we're adding to our collection," Sadie introduced as she quickly flipped through the messages. Adam shook Laney's hand and they said hello. "And this is his girlfriend, and his inspiration, Joan Girardi," Sadie introduced.

Joan shook Laney's hand and they greeted each other. Joan was trying to imagine owning eleven floors of art that got sold on a regular basis, and the work that entailed as the owner. Sadie was dressed in black dress pants, topped with a pale blue button up shirt with the sleeves unbuttoned and rolled up to her elbows, and black three inch heels on her feet. She had a cell phone resting in a carrier on her hip next to where the walkie-talkie was. There was a wire protruding from it that traveled up the front of her shirt to an ear piece the rest along the back of her neck and down the front of her left shoulder, so she could just pop it in her ear if her phone rang. She held a binder and some files in her right arm with a coffee in her right hand, and the message sticking in her fingers as she used her left hand to flip through them quickly.

"Okay, Laney, I need you to call Monroe, and Hark back, let them know their pieces have arrived and they can have them picked up after 1 pm," Sadie instructed. "Oh, and give our usuals a ring and tell them by 6pm we'll have a new show opening for them to check out. Be sure to tell them it's an exclusive, new up and coming artist, okay?"

"You got it," Laney nodded, beginning to jump to work, turning a rolodex.

"Okay, come with me, you two," Sadie smiled. She walked to the only single door in the room, and reached to the identification card dangling by a retractable belt clip that was attached to the left side of her pants. She pulled the card up and swiped it again, pulling the door open once the light turned green and held it for Adam and Joan to follow. "Will you two be able to stay for your opening show?" Sadie asked as they followed her up a hallway of offices.

Adam looked stunned and Joan couldn't think of anything to say at first either.

"Uhm," he looked down at himself, he was wearing his cleanest pair of khakis, a white dress shirt and a blue tie and boots. "I don't think I have appropriate dress attire," He said. Sadie glanced at him.

"Yeah, me either," Joan replied sheepishly after a glance down at her own dress.

Sadie smiled. "Details, details. We can fix that easily," Sadie held the door to a large office open and let them enter. Joan and Adam looked around as they entered. Behind the desk that had 4 chairs in front of it was a large row of windows with an excellent view of the river. "Take a seat anywhere you like. Here, I'll take those coats from you," She said after she'd put all the things in her hands down. She took both of their coats and hung them up on a coat rack behind her office door, which she'd shut behind them.

"The real question is, do you want to be there?" Sadie questioned.

Adam looked at Joan, as if inquiring whether or not this was okay with her. Mostly he was too afraid to answer because he didn't know what staying would entail.

"Well…" Adam cleared his throat. "What…what exactly do we have to do?"

Sadie chuckled slightly. Adam squirmed a little in his seat and Joan felt a fleeting moment of anger at Sadie. "Oh, I'm sorry. I should have explained better. I forget sometimes to fill in the gaps," She smiled.

"Okay…" Adam said nervously.

"Basically, I've reserved the show room on the first floor for your artwork. After seeing those two sculptures that we took the pictures of a few days ago, my usual clients have been asking when we're going to get more of your art in. So Cody and Bryant are going to bring the sculptures and paintings right in there. After we get your paperwork together, we'll head down there and arrange the room, you know, label your pieces and such," Sadie explained. "Then I'll bring you to rent some clothes, and we'll do lunch and we'll set you up in a nearby hotel so you can shower and dress and meet back here for the opening. The clients will come in, have a look around, drink some champagine, eat some hors d'oeuvres, meet you, talk to you, and possibly even make some bids on your work tonight. So what do you say, do you want to stick around?"

Adam looked at Joan, who was grinning, impressed, now. She smiled at him. Adam turned and looked at Sadie.

"I don't think I brought enough money to rent dress clothes," He frowned in realization.

Sadie waved a hand dismissively, "Oh, honey please," She hit the speakerphone on and another button. Laney answered after a few seconds. "Laney, can you get a hold of Carrie at the Versace Boutique, let her know I need a favor returned and we'll be over at about," Sadie checked her watch, "A little after noon?"

"Sure thing, Sadie," Laney replied. Sadie hung up the speakerphone and looked at Adam and Joan, who were stunned.

She clapped her hands together and rubbed them. "Okay, what do you say we get down to business?"

Adam swallowed hard. He nodded. "Okay, what do I have to do?" He asked as Sadie opened a couple of drawers from a nearby file cabinet and started getting forms out.

* * *

"Dad, hey dad, good I was hoping you were here," Luke called as he came bursting into Will's office. 

"Luke?" Will got to his feet quickly. "What's wrong?" He asked, seeing as it looked like Luke had just run a mile. "Here, sit down," Will pulled out a chair for Luke.

Luke shook his head. "Dad, you've got to do something. They're gonna send Friedman to a mental health facility. They think he tried to kill himself."

Will looked at Luke for a moment and then let out a long breath. "Son, sit down a minute," He indicated the chair.

Sensing the tone his father was using, Luke let himself sink into the chair. Will sat on the edge of the desk in front of him.

"Your friend," Will began, looking at Luke and trying to figure out the right thing to say. "He needs help, Luke," Will stated. "Now, I don't know what he said to you, but he's not thinking clearly. People who want to hurt themselves, they don't think anything is wrong with them and they'll do what they can to convince others that they're okay, just so they can get free and hurt themselves again-,"

"No, dad you don't understand," Luke cut Will off. Will held up a hand and stopped Luke from speaking.

"Luke, I understand you want to help your friend," Will said, reaching out to put a hand on Luke's shoulder. "But this time you're going to have to leave it to the doctors," He said comfortingly. Luke rolled his eyes slightly.

"Dad, this has to do with Ryan," Luke said, knowing full well how his dad would react.

"What?" Will promptly responded, looking gravely at Luke.

Luke nodded. "It's a long story. I'll explain it all to you, but first you have to stop them from transferring Friedman to that hospital, I forge what it's called…Sunny Hills or Hills of Sun, Sunfield Hills, I don't know the one they sent Bonnie to," Luke looked at Will. "He might know where Ryan went dad. And if you send him there, they're going to drug him up and keep him locked away for what he knows, just like Bonnie."

Will stared at is son in disbelief. "Are you telling me that she knows something about Ryan as well?" He asked.

"Yes! No…I'm not positive. You'd have to ask Joan, or Adam," Luke stood and started pacing in frustration. "Dad! We don't have time to discuss it now. Please," Luke pleaded. Will looked at Luke for a minute or two longer before standing and walking around to the other side of his desk. He picked up the phone receiver and stuck it to his ear, dialing a number quickly.

"Yes, this is detective Will Girardi, you have a patient there by the name of Friedman F. Friedman. As I understand it, he's supposed to be transferred this afternoon?" He spoke to the person on the other end. "Yes, he's wanted for questioning in an ongoing case. I want you to cancel that transfer and hold him there until I can come down and properly assess the situation." Will waited a moment, and his face tensed. "If you fail to comply with my request you will find yourself under arrest for obstruction along with anyone else who aids in transferring that patient, do you understand me? Thank you," Will hung the phone up and grabbed his trench coat, pulling it on. "Did you drive here?" He asked Luke. Luke nodded. "I want you to get a hold of Grace, pick her and anyone else who knows anything about this up," He stood facing Luke as he said this, extending his finger for extra emphasis as he spoke. "You meet me at the hospital and don't take longer then an hour, understand?"

Luke nodded solemnly. "Thanks dad," He said. Will gave him a pat on the arm.

"Let's go," He said, leaving the office. Luke followed, dialing his phone as they walked.

* * *

"So Friedman pulled a Syd Vicious? Huh…I never would have pegged him for a Cobain," Grace commented from the backseat of the car. 

"This is not funny," Glynis said, still visibly upset as she sat next to Grace in the backseat with her arms crossed. Lou was in the front seat. He exchanged a glance with Luke before watching the two anxiously.

"Relax Figliola," Grace said. "We all know it wasn't Friedman's who did this to himself. But don't expect me to feel too much pity for him," Grace crossed her arms, "He was, after all, working with Hunter to get back at us, you know."

"That doesn't make it right," Glynis insisted. Though Grace knew this was right, she didn't admit it and she didn't reply. She was too busy stewing in her seat, mulling over the anger, pain and torment Ryan was succeeding in spreading despite the fact that he wasn't even in the country anymore.

"Why don't we all just wait and see what he says?" Luke suggested, trying to referee the two.

"Fine," Glynis kept her arms crossed and stared out the window.

"Whatever," Grce shrugged, staring out her own window. Lou leaned over towards Luke.

"Dude…I've never seen them act this way towards each other…" He said, sounding freaked out.

Luke smirked, remembering a couple of years ago when Glynis hated Luke temporarily for dumping her for Grace, and Grace was jealous of Glynis and Luke because even though Luke and Grace were dating, Glynis and Luke could still fall into incoherent science genius psycho babble over Physics lab homework and wind up completely excluding Grace from conversations.

"Just let it be, my friend," Luke suggested. Lou glanced in the backseat at the glaring women and nodded.

"I just may do that," He replied as Luke turned into the hospital parking lot and found a spot.

* * *

"This is…weird…" Adam said once he and Joan were in the hotel room that Sadie booked for them for just the night, even though they kept insisting that they would be driving home at the end of the night. The hotel was four blocks down from the gallery. From their 23rd floor corner room they had a beautiful view of the city. Joan smiled, shutting some of the curtains so they could prepare to get showered. 

"But it's so cool," She smiled, walking over to him and easily sliding her arms to their normal place around his neck and shoulders, hooking them together. Adam's hands instinctively rested around her waist, pulling her in closer as he smiled.

"I can't believe this is happening," He said eagerly. Joan smiled, her mood dampened only by the fact that she had still yet to tell him about the pregnancy scare. IT bothered her deeply that she was still so afraid to tell him, despite the fact that in technicality it wasn't an issue of positive or negative anymore. It was simply an issue of telling the truth, and explaining why she held it from him.

"Well believe it, Adam, I knew it would all along," She smiled proudly at him now, shifting her mind from herself to him. Adam leaned in, pulling her closer and engaged her in a passionate kiss.

"Thank you," He told her breathlessly when he pulled away, leaving his forehead pressed against hers. Joan offered him a strange smile.

"Thank you for what?" She asked, closing her eyes for just a second to take in the moment in her mind.

"For everything you are," He replied.

Joan's smile faltered only for a millisecond as she began to grow uncomfortable under the blanket of guilt bundled up in her stomach at the moment. She kissed him quickly and then pulled away, grabbing one of the shopping bags off the bed that had shampoos, soap and hair products in it, as well as her purse and made her way across the room to the bathroom.

"We're gonna be late if we don't hurry," She said before disappearing in the bathroom and closing the door behind her. Adam smiled to himself, still dazed about everything that had happened today to have caught the slight subtle traces that something was bothering Joan. He had asked her on the ride up to New York what was on her mind but she had shrugged and told him it was nothing important. Adam had reasoned to himself that Joan was probably thinking about everything that had gone on in the past couple of weeks and months.

Now, wanting to tell someone else what had happened, Adam sat down on the queen-sized bed and grabbed the phone receiver from its cradle on the nightstand as he flipped a light on. He quickly dialed his home phone number, waiting for his dad to pick up.

"Dad!" Adam said when he heard his father's greeting on the other end. "You're never going to believe this…" He began to recount the day for his dad, who listened enthusiastically before offering a congratulatory speech and words of encouragement.

By the time Adam had finished showering and shaving, and putting his suit pants on and tucking his shirt in, Joan was pretty much completely done.

"Jane…can you help me with this?" Adam walked out of the bathroom, looking down at the knotted tie he was trying to put on correctly. He stopped dead in his tracks when he lifted his head and saw her across the room.

"Don't look so shell shocked," Joan blushed slightly as she gracefully made her way over to Adam, reaching her perfectly smooth hands up to fix his tie. She watched the tie as she worked, aware that Adam was staring at her.

Joan was wearing a black evening dress that had a single slanted strap that angled over her left shoulder, exposing her shoulders and collarbone as it contoured perfectly to her body. It flowed down to her feet, which were covered with shiny silver heeled shoes. Here was a slit that went from the bottom of the slightly wavy ruffled part of the skirt that went to about halfway up her thigh on the right front side of her right leg. Adam could see in the reflection of the mirror across the room that the back side on the left had a long scarf like protrusion of satiny sheer material that hung to where her hand would extend to if she put her arm down. The strap crossed in a thin string to the right side of the dress and cutting down across her right shoulder blade before crossing back to the left beneath the scarf, and the dress remained open backed, forming down in a V a few inches about Joan's rear. It looked like something you would see on the red carpet. The golden necklace he'd given her a year ago was dangling around her neck, glistening against her still tanned skin from the summer, and the dark dress. She had fake diamond earrings to match, and a promise ring on her left ring finger that Adam had made and given her for Christmas. Her hair was done up with curls hanging down all about her neck and the sides of her face and her make up was flawless.

"Do I look that bad that you have to stare?" Joan asked as she tightened the tie and ran a hand down it to flatten it to Adam's chest, letting her hand linger there as she smiled nervously at him.

"No…that's not it at all…" Adam said in a breathless whisper. He reached a hand up and traced her face, smiling warmly.

"So…do I look all right then?" She asked him, backing up to give him a full view of her outfit.

Adam's smile morphed into a cheesy, but still sincere beam, "Yes, you look wonderful, tonight," He almost sung. Joan blushed as she rolled her eyes.

"That was so tacky," She said, unable to hide her smile. Adam's eyes roamed over her before resting on her face again. "What?" She asked under his gaze.

"There's just…" He turned and found his jacket, digging deep into one of the pockets, "one thing, that's missing," He said.

Joan looked down at herself, spinning in front of the mirror, trying to figure out what he meant. "What's missing?" She asked, feeling self-conscious. She looked in the mirror and Adam appeared behind her off to the side, holding something shiny out in his hand. Joan turned around to see what it was. "What's this?" She asked.

Adam reached out and lifted her arm up before fastening the item around her wrist. He smiled. "I wanted to give it to you when we got home tonight, but now seems like a better time. It's just something to say thank you…" He smiled to her.

Joan stared down at the bracelet. It was a silver linked chain bracelet with small charms on it. One was a heart, one was a cursive J, another was a cursive A; there was also a cross, a sun, a star and a moon decorating the bracelet. It fit Joan perfectly.

"Adam…" Joan began.

"I thought it was going to take longer to make but, then I just spent all my extra time on it. See, it's got our initials," He pointed at each charm as he spoke about it, "and a cross, you know to symbolize the whole, God factor of your, well, our lives," He smiled and Joan watched him as he went through them. "And see this, the sun, the moon and the big star connected to the little star, I chose those because that's what you give people with all the things you do. And that one, the last one, that's my heart," He told her.

Joan felt her eyes well up and she silently cursed herself, knowing if she cried she's have to redo her make up. Adam looked alarmed at this. He frowned and looked down at the charm bracelet and then back at her. He reached to unfasten it.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," He said sincerely, "If you don't like it I can make a better one, here-,"

"Don't you dare unfasten that," Joan slid her hand away. She took a deep breath and tilted her head up to stop herself from tearing up completely. She gently stroked her hand across Adam's cheek before leaning in and placing a kiss on his lips. "It's beautiful…thank you," She sniffled, smiling. Adam smiled. "Now come on, you have to finish getting ready," Joan said after clearing her throat.

Adam snapped back into reality. He put his socks on and then pulled the shiny black leather shoes that went with his suit on. Afterwards he pulled the belt through his pants and buckled it, pulling his shirt loose from being tightly tucked to being tucked in just right. His suit was simply a black suit with a white shirt, gray vest, a matching tie and a suit jacket, all of which fell perfectly on him and look perfect with his wet, gel slicked, brushed back hair. His face was smooth and freshly shaven, and he smelled like a sweet subtle mixture of aftershave and cologne.

Joan smiled when he turned around with his arms out. "What's the damage?" He asked. Joan approached him and straightened out his jacket.

"No damage. You look perfect," She smiled at him. Adam smiled.

"We should get going," He said, grabbing her coat and holding it for her. Once they situated their clothes, they made sure they had everything they needed before leaving the hotel and walking back to the gallery.

* * *

"I need to talk to you," Grace said bursting into Luke's room, briskly shutting the door behind her. Luke had been at his desk, finishing a paper that was due the day their winter break ended, and had his back to the wall. He was so startled when Grace rushed in that he'd fumbled out of his chair, landing on the floor with a groan. 

Grace was so worked up and agitated she barely noticed this. She paced briskly back and forth in a three-step rotation, flinging her hands about as she spoke. One, two, three steps, turn. "Look, it's really important," One, two, three steps, turn. "I don't know how to explain it to you." One, two, three steps, turn. "I shouldn't even tell you the reasoning behind it," One, two, three steps, turn.

"Grace, what's going on?" Luke interrupted her train of thought as he pulled himself to his feet, watching her pace.

"There's just so much going on," One, two, three steps, turn. One, two, three steps, turn. "It's all a jumble, and my brain, feels like it's going to," One, two, three steps, turn. "Explode into a zillion pieces, but I've got to explain it to you," One, two three steps, turn. One, two, three steps, turn. One, two, three steps, turn. Stop. Grace turned and looked at Luke. "Because it's just not fair to you…" She trailed off.

Luke's eyebrow had risen almost into his hair. He rubbed his head where he'd hit it, and started towards her. When he reached the spot where she was, he took a hold of her shoulders.

"Why don't you sit down and tell me what's going on?" He asked, leading her over to the bed and sitting down next to her. Grace took a couple of strangely deep breaths, attempting to speak. She found herself unable to say what she'd been mulling over through her brain the whole way here from her house.

After being at the hospital and stopping Friedman from being admitted to the mental hospital, Grace had gone to see her mother. Thankfully the rabbi hadn't been there and Grace had happened upon Sarah before she'd started drinking. The result had been a four-hour long conversation that included deep conversation as well as screaming fits of anger. In the end, Grace found herself somewhere she never thought she'd end up again since she was 5 or maybe 6; She sat completely still, on the couch next to her mother, enveloped in Sarah's embrace, both women crying for the years lost between them. When Grace left, however, she still felt the same. The anger was still there, along with the hurt, the sadness, the pain, and all the words said and unsaid between them still ate away at her soul, piece by piece.

On the walk home, Grace had slowly spiraled into a pit of desperation, fear and loathing as she thought about every encounter and every syllable exchanged between herself and Ryan. She grew weary, even just walking. She would have moved to sit down on the curb at one point but it was covered in snow, and it was starting to get dark. She'd hated the winter then, for getting dark so early when she was feeling weak and sacred of walking alone down the street at night; something she'd never been scared of before Ryan.

Scenarios had run rampant through her mind then; Ryan attacking Joan, Ryan causing a shoot-out, killing Will Girardi, Ryan causing a student to shoot-up the school, starting with his art class, Ryan standing over Luke's lifeless body. At the last image she'd progressed to running and had gone into the Girardi house, straight up the two flights of steps and into Luke's room, startling him. Now they were sitting on his bed.

Luke looked worried enough to cause himself multiple ulcers.

"Grace?" His voice snapped her to attention and her back tensed.

Grace looked at Luke. In a matter of seconds, just staring into his eyes, she'd lost all the will power to shove him away and lock him out of her life in the hopes of protecting him, that she'd built up on the way here. Even though the images were still in the back of her mind, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She couldn't just lie to him. How could she? How could she tell him that she didn't love him while looking him in the eye? She couldn't. And where would she be without him? Hunter would still come after the Girardi family. He wanted to take out Joan too. That meant taking her family out too. Wouldn't Grace be stronger together with Luke? She couldn't do this. She wouldn't.

Luke's eyes darted back and forth. He was studying her face, trying to figure out what she was thinking. Grace looked at Luke, letting their eyes lock. She wondered briefly if he really could see the deep dark secrets of her soul in her eyes. Grace sucked in a deep breath and was about to speak but Luke cut her off.

"Don't," He said carefully.

"What?" Grace asked quietly.

Luke shook his head slightly, his eyes still moving back and forth searching hers. "Don't…let yourself do something you're going to regret…" He said pleadingly. "I know what you think you want to do. You think it's better, safer for us but it's not and you know it. So don't do it, we're stronger together…I love you, and I know you love me…" He told her. A smirk crossed his lips and he dramatically patted his stomach. "Besides…you can't abandon me when I have your baby! I'll have to chase you for child support…" He tried to lighten the situation. Grace couldn't help but let a small smile form onto her lips as she averted her eyes to the collar of his shirt nervously. Luke used his hand to turn her face up, his thumb gingerly sliding along the smooth skin of her cheek. When Grace finally turned her face and eyes back up to his, Luke pressed her forehead against hers, to stop her from looking away.

"Come on, you know we can barely even sleep if we're not in the same room…" Luke said. "And we done the separate thing before too. You know we're better off together, Grace, if for nothing else than each other's sanity…" He gave a small smile. Grace sighed slightly. She moved her head and buried it into the crook of his neck, against his collarbone. Luke felt her relax her weight against him and he laced his arm around her, rubbing his hand up and down her back. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. Grace felt her head shake when he let out a small chuckle.

"What's so funny?" She asked; her words turned into mumble as she said them into his shirt, breathing in his scent deeply as she did.

"Nothing, just…" He smiled down at her as she turned her eyes upwards to look at him. "I knew you loved me to much to swear that you didn't," He smiled.

"Dude…that only made sense to Dr. Seuss…" She told him.

"Do you like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam-I-Am!" Luke replied. Grace laughed with him for a few seconds before her face became serious. Luke's face became serious when he spotted this. "Sorry…I was just kidding," He stated. Grace shook her head.

"I was stupid to think I could trick myself into not loving you…for stupid reasons…" She said. Luke watched her. A small snicker escaped her lips. "I can't believe I'm going to say something this ironic and cliché," She shook her head slightly, looking away.

"Lay it on me, Sam-I-Am," Luke invited.

Grace let her eyes meet his again, and with a sheepish grin she said, "Only God could stop me loving you."

Luke smiled and resisted laughter, and Grace smiled too, the laughter apparent in her eyes as he looked at her. "That's it, no more country songs for you!" He declared. Both laughed.

"Shut up, and kiss me already," Grace ordered. Luke obeyed.

* * *

"So, how are you two holding up?" Sadie questioned. She looked drastically different. Her glasses were replaced with contacts and she was wearing a red evening dress, with her hair done up. Her walkie-talkie and her cell phone were absent; as were the binders and files she'd carried through the day. They were one hour into the opening and Adam and Joan had been standing off to one side, watching dressed up clients come in and look about. The two of them could tell that these people were important, some company owners, CEOs, even political figures. Sadie waved to a waitress who was walking around with a tray of champagne. Joan was having wicked de ja vu. 

"You two look a little tense, unwind a little, okay?" She handed them both a glass. "I'm going to start rounding up some of the clients to come meet you, okay?"

"Uhm, oh, yeah, yes, that's good," Adam said, taking a sip from his glass nervously as Sadie disappeared. "I don't know what I was thinking. I don't belong here. I don't fit," Adam fidgeted with his tie slightly.

"Don't be ridiculous, we're just as worthy as all of these people," Joan told him, looking around. "Oh my God…" Joan turned around, away from where she was looking.

"What? What? What's wrong?" Adam asked.

"Oh my God…Adam," Joan turned around to make sure she wasn't seeing things and then looked at Adam, speechlessly. Adam started looking around nervously.

"What? What? Is Ryan here?" He asked. Joan shook her head no. "What, is God going to take mercy and buy my art?"

"No, no. No…" Joan shook her head, shaking with what Adam could only guess was astonishment now.

"What? Jane, come on what is it? You're freaking me out…" Adam said. Joan turned her head to look at him.

Her eyes were wide, and she looked star-struck. "Adam…Elton John is looking at your art…" She spoke in a whisper as if speaking loud would make him disappear.

"What?" Adam asked, almost laughing.

"Adam…" She repeated. "_Elton John _is looking…at your art," She took his chin and turned his head. Adam's jaw dropped and Joan tapped it to make him close it as he stared wide-eyed at an entourage of people. Sure enough in the middle was a pudgy man wearing round blue spectacles to match his shiny blue suit.

"Oh…Oh God…I…I think I'm going to be sick…" Adam moved to head where he knew the bathrooms were.

"Hey, where'd the man of the night head off too?" Sadie asked, coming back over when she noticed Adam was gone.

Joan found her voice after finishing her glass and depositing it on the empty tray a waitress was carrying by. "He…went to the bathroom. He's a little nervous…" Joan discreetly pointed to the entourage and Sadie nodded, understanding.

"I see…well, let him know when he comes out that everything's fine. Sir Elton actually wants to meet him," Sadie smiled, heading off again to greet more of her clients as they entered.

"This is going to be a long night…" Joan said to herself.

"You've got that right Joan,"

Joan looked up to see a rich woman decked out to the nines in front of her, complete with enough diamonds to weigh down the sturdiest person.

"So God's on Adam's side then?" Joan questioned Rich Lady God.

"I'm on everyone's side…if they want me to be," She replied.

"Okay…lay it on me, what's the 'mission' tonight?" Joan asked God, as God circled one of Adam's sculptures.

"It's time to be honest, Joan." God said. "Tell Adam everything."

"What do you mean everything? There's just one thing," Joan insisted. God smirked at Joan.

"Be honest with yourself too," God said. "So that you can tell Adam everything. And…enjoy the night, Joan." God walked away briskly, giving a backwards wave before Joan could speak again. Seconds later, Adam was back at her side, taking slow deep breaths. Joan smiled nervously.

"Feeling better?" She asked him. Adam took a deep breath, nodded and then shook his head.

"Yeah…no, no I don't," He said with a strange smile, "but I think I will be…eventually," He said hopefully. Joan just smiled at him.

"We've got a long night to finish," She said. "I think it was a good idea for Sadie to reserve the hotel room for the night. It's going to be too late for us to drive back until the morning."

Adam nodded. "Yeah…I'm starting to think that too. But that's okay, right? Because if not, we can leave here early-,"

"Don't be silly," Joan said dismissively.

"Adam, Joan, I have a few people who would like to meet you," Sadie said. Joan and Adam turned around to come face to face with the famous entourage, smiles spreading across their faces.

**

* * *

A/N: HA! You thought Ryan was there didn't you? But, why Elton John you ask? Simple: I was listening to 'Tiny Dancer' and Elton John is an avid art buyer. Moving on…we're reaching the ends my friends (and foe) are you getting excited? Confused? Do I suck? Does this rock? Hmmm? I've been throwing you off by taking longer to upload haven't I? **

**Chapter title is from "Only God (Could Stop Me Loving You)" By Emerson Drive. **

**Responses: Kool-Wolf – **Wow…declarations of love, talk about desperation…sheesh! Well…you're welcome, foe, but I have to worn you…she may not be pregnant now, but I've got a whole lot of story left in me, and there's a whole lot of future for Arcadia, at some point she'll probably be pregnant, dude. Sorry about your brother, that stinks. Thanks for the kudos, punk. Most of the stuff with Grace's dad will happen in the last chapter, FYI. Hate your guts back, yo!

** MDM79 – **Thanks! How'd you like Adam's art hook up in this one? She will tell Adam, but you read the ending of this chapter so you already know that. Thanks for the kudos, much love my friend!

**Jane And Adam – **Glad you still liked it. Was the wait worth this chapter?

**Laura – **Hey, hey! YAY A REVIEW FROM YOU! This is me getting on your case to review the other chapters, yo! You know, I knew you'd like the soda choking part! Do you still have a bad feeling about G/L? I bet you don't, do you? (P.S. – Dr. Pepper is godlike). Grace? Get a break? Pssshh…soon…maybe. No prob on the shout out sista!

**Audrey – **Heyyy…how's the withdraw going? Heh, heh. Sorry, I couldn't resist. I think everyone like Luke choking on Dr. P, lol. Ahhh…the Friedman factor is screwing everyone up isn't it? UPDAAAAAATTEEE DUUUUUUDE!

**Sam –** I agree…Rocker Luke is hot. Ditto the band name! Hey, that's a great way to wake up if I do say so myself…yeah…I wasn't sure how to let everyone down gently there with the preg stuff. I hate when people interrupt the shower as well! Haha, I'm gld someone admitted loving that! I thought it was just a kick for me! Lol like I said everyone loves the Luke choking scene! It's easier to talk to someone sitting across from them instead of on top of them in a booth, isn't it? Lol don't get too lost in that daydream about selling your art! You could hurt Ryan…if JoA still existed and he was playing Ryan and not a dead soldier on JoA's replacement show's first episode…(tear…cry, sob). Thanks for the chapter kudos dude!

**Coveredinrain16 – **Aw, don't cry! There's a whole lot of future for this story series! Babies will be here eventually…well…at least one…though I don't know who for yet…hmmm. I'm glad everyone loved the choking on soda scene! I wasn't aware that I was doing that with Adam and Joan? What part did he act like his art was more important to him? I wasn't trying to make it seem that way! I'm sorry! Don't be sad! Thanks for the kudos! Much love back!

**Anti-Like-Grace – **The Friedman factor is screwing everyone up isn't it? Did chapter 13 meet your expectations? I know you had trouble reading it! )

**Unconventional – **Lol, thanks! I'm sorry, I'm sorry…she's got a lot of eggs in those ovaries dude; pregnancy is always still a possibility!

**Tiffany – **Oh yes, you are right, I make you wait if you make me wait, dude! ) See! People are just lazy reviewers! Yell at them for it! Lol. I updated, are you happy? It was nice and long!

**Carol – **I'm glad that you're glad, yo! Did this chapter meet your expectations? I'm glad I've managed to sway your chain of thoughts on the Ryan/Grace sibling issue. At some point there will be a showdown, but it won't be in this story. Well…scratch that it won't definitely be in this one, but it might be, depending…)

**ProcrastinationQueen – **How's the addiction going? Satisfying? Worry not, by the end of this chapter I was hoping I got across the point that Joan was going to tell Adam while they were in New York? Ryan will get caught…eventually…perhaps. ) Thanks for the kudos!

**Note: So, how'd you like the nice long update? Hmmm?**


	16. Screaming Inside But We Can't Be Heard

**Holds Me Together  
Rating: T-M Just in case  
Disclaimer:** You know the drill.  
**A/N:** Much love! Sorry for the proofreading as always. **FYI: Responses at bottom of chapter.** **FYI2: This chapter is going to start at one time period, then jump a little bit (not too far, like through months and such…you'll see) For reasons you'll figure out later, this chapter is super-duper long! Enjoy.**

**

* * *

Chapter16 – We Are Screaming Inside But We Can't Be Heard**

After another long and anxious flight, and then a long and expensive cab ride, Joan and Adam wound up back in the front lobby of their dorm. Both stood with their luggage, looking at the steps for a prolonged moment. At the same moment, both started walking forward and up the steps.

"I'll call you in an hour," Adam said quietly as he reached his floor. Adam had spent the whole plane ride with headphones on, pretending to listen to music as he thought over everything that had happened over the break. He hadn't said much to Joan since the trip to New York. Joan nodded and they quickly kissed before she continued upward and Adam broke off to head up the hall to his and Tristan's room.

* * *

Joan felt overdressed since California's 59° temperature was a stark difference from Arcadia's 33°, which had warranted her heaviest sweater, and her winter coat and scarf. Now, as she lugged her things up the last flight of steps and turned down the familiar hallway that smelled of some fresh paint and carpet cleaner from the winter break cleanings, Joan regretted not taking at least her jacket off and stuffing it amongst her duffle bag and suitcase after getting off the plane. She heaved a sigh as she set the bag down and dug into her pocket for her key. She was in the process of turning the key when the door flew open.

"JOAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!" The loud shriek was the only thing Joan heard as a dark blur came barreling out as soon as the door burst open and the next thing she remembered, she was crumpled on the floor amongst her bags with someone on top of her.

"OhmygodImissedyousomuch! Howwasyourbreakyou'dbetterhavepicturesofCaleb!" The blur said in a quick jumble, excitedly still hugging Joan.

When she got her wits about her, she started laughing, hugging the person back. "Hey Jo!" She laughed again, "Get off me and I'll reply to whatever it was you just tried to say!"

Johana plastered a sheepish innocent expression on her face and climbed to her feet, holding her hand out and helping Joan up. Then she dragged Joan's suitcase in and Joan followed.

Joan looked around their room. "What, no Colby?" She asked Johana.

Johana shook her head. "Not yet," She shrugged as Joan took off both her heavy coat and her sweater, leaving her in a pair of well worn form fitting jeans and a tight white t-shirt. She let out a relieved breath and heaved her duffle bag onto her bunk before she unzipped it and started routing around for something. "So? How was your break?" Johana prodded.

Joan couldn't figure out how to answer this. The break had been so topsy-turvy that no one answer could ever fit for this question. "It was quite the roller coaster, actually," Joan commented as she walked over to the couch and flopped down next to Johana, who instantly turned to face Joan. Joan pulled a bag from amongst her arms. Johana saw that it contained an overstuffed picture envelope as well as some home movie DVDs, and a mini photo album.

"Oooh, gimmie, gimmie, gimmie!" Johana pleaded, holding her hands out. When Joan's mother had come, she'd brought pictures of Caleb and Johana, who had by then of course become close friends with both Joan and Adam, saw them she fell instantly in love and shared in the joy of Joan's nephew. Joan laughed and handed the bag over gladly.

Johana promptly dug into the bag, emitting 'awwww's' and phrases like 'Joan, he's so gorgeous!' Joan smiled and agreed readily.

"So, how was your break?" Joan asked once Johana had finished gushing over Caleb.

"Oh my _God_, I have so much to tell you, girlfriend," Jo stated, curling her legs under he Indian style. Joan sat up, facing Johana at full attention, leaning her back against the armrest. She knew Johana only sat Indian Style when telling a story if it was a good one.

Johana told Joan about how much her parents loved Tristan, who Jo had begged her parents to let spend the break at her house since his own home life was turbulent due to his parents impending divorce. She gushed about how great Tristan was with her two younger brothers and younger sister who were 12, 8 and 5 respectively.

Jo even divulged to Joan about their late evening drives from Johana's house in Winslow, Arizona out highway 40 and down route 209 to Mormon Lake two hours away, where they would skinny dip, spend intimate quality time together, and even a few times partied with fellow college students on vacation around bonfires with marshmallows and cheap disgusting beer and the occasional smuggled bottle of Strawberry wine, singing ridiculous songs and talking about stupid childhood memories. By the time the sky just started getting lighter they were race home to sneak back up the driveway along the hedges, and then up the side of the garage, across its roof and into Johana's bedroom window. Once safely inside undetected, Tristan would make one last attempt at a make out session before Johana would laugh at him and tell him to hurry before her parents, who were always up before 7, stumbled upon them and commenced in killing them both-one screaming at them in Spanish, the other in English.

Joan laughed along to all of Johana's stories. She and Tristan had had a wonderful break. Joan sighed after a few minutes and Johana's reminiscent laughter died out as well, leaving a lingering smile on her lips.

"Oh you sound like you had the best break," Joan said, leaning the left side of her head down against the couch wearily.

"Yours wasn't good?" Jo asked sadly.

"Oh, no, it was." Joan smiled and then frowned. "Well, not all of it was…but most of it was," Her eyes glazed over a bit.

"Oh, chickie, tell me what happened," Jo said sympathetically, placing a supportive hand on Joan's forearm.

It took Joan about a half an hour to explain the entire break to Johana, excluding some specifics in the God/Collier area, but including back story about Bonnie, and Friedman. Before this, Jo had only known bits and pieces of the Ryan story. She listened intently, wide eyed and astonished, nodding as Joan told the story. Joan ended the story with the New York trip for Adam's art, and a list of all the rich, famous and political people who had shown up and had a bidding war for Adam's art and how she and Adam had returned to the hotel room after the show. It had taken them nearly fifteen minutes to get the door open because they were making out while Adam tried to shove the key into the lock and open it. She polished off the ending with how she'd stopped Adam dead in his tracks when they were bare-assed naked, tangled in the sheets on the bed by blurting out 'Adam, wait, you need to know I thought I was pregnant…a week ago…'

By then, Johana had successfully let Joan turn and lounge against her as she circled her arms encouragingly around Joan and stroked her hair. Joan momentarily noted that she wasn't sure if she'd seen this maternal side of Johana before.

"Oh, Joan, I'm so sorry," She told Joan sincerely. "How did Adam react?"

Joan snorted and sighed. "Freaked, of course. What a way to ruin an intimate moment, huh?" She responded.

"Well, obviously he freaked," Jo shrugged, "But, I mean…how did he act once he got a grip on it?"

Joan shrugged. "We had this super long talk, and then we passed out for a few hours, packed up our stuff and checked out to head home. We haven't had many in depth conversations since. He stared out the window of the plane the entire flight back…" Joan covered her face with her hands. "I'm so stupid, I should have never told him," She threw her hands up for emphasis and then let them flop with a clapping sound back against her legs.

"That's not true," Johana protested. "Although I agree with your friend Grace, you should have told him sooner. That's something you both should've been dealing with, not just you, it takes two, you know," She said.

Joan sighed and nodded. "Argh, why do things always have to get complicated?" She asked.

"Probably because you're an imbecile,"

Johana and Joan turned their heads and looked up when Colby entered the room, kicked Joan's bag out of her way and began putting her stuff away. Johana snorted.

"Wow, looks like somebody spent the holiday studying her SAT words," she laughed. "Hey Colby, your results are in; you're officially below what they call the 'Forrest Gump Curve,' you'll have to turn in your pens and pencils before you accidentally injure yourself with him and here we've got this lovely soft helmet for you to wear so you don't hurt your precious little head," Johana said as she walked over and pet Colby's head, talking in a baby voice. Joan bit back her laughter as she gapped at the two.

Colby spun, angrily smacking Johana's hands away from her. "Don't touch me, half-breed," She scoffed, crossing her arms. Johana glared, stepping into Colby's face.

"I see the holiday season hasn't put a damper on your bigotry," It was Johana's turned to cross her arms.

"I wouldn't have to resort to using these terms if you'd keep your overloaded, bean eating, J-Lo ass out of my face!" Colby spat back.

"Whoa, hey, guys, come on, let's all just chill," Joan hopped up and stood adjacent to them, holding her hands up as if to signify innocence while anxiously turning her head back and forth between them.

"Listen you useless, pseudo-faultless little neo-nazi-," Johana continued without missing a beat.

"Why don't you go find your little slanty-eyed boyfriend and start making defective Chinxican babies to infiltrate the population?" Colby sneered, cutting her off.

Johana's eyes flared. She lunged forward with a cry of rage. The only thing stopping Johana from mauling Colby was Joan, who had thrown herself forward, pulling Johana back, away from Colby.

"Come on Jo; let's just get out of here for now." Joan was glad she'd put her keys back in her jeans pocket as she dragged Johana out the door. Colby glared after Johana who was yelling at Joan who struggled against Jo's advances back towards the room.

"I'm not even Mexican you stupid whore!" She called out.

"What's going on?" Adam asked as he answered the door and came face to face with Joan, who looked dumbstruck and Johana who was red-faced and huffing.

* * *

"Hey, look who's back!" Ella said excitedly as she appeared in front of Luke and Grace, who had just entered JB's and were heading for their booth. "We've missed you guys so much!" She gushed, hugging Luke quickly.

"I'm going to go talk to JB," Luke excused himself after a quick greeting. Ella and Grace watched him go and then Ella looked at Grace.

"Get over here and give me a hug, you!" Ella demanded. Grace surrendered herself to a bear hug from Ella, truly missing her. "How was your little vacation?" She asked, wiping their table off as Grace slid into the booth.

"It was…tumultuous…to say the least," Grace chuckled.

"Oh dear, well, did you at least have some good times?" Ella asked.

"Oh!" Grace excused herself, blushing, and nodding, "Yes. I didn't mean it like that. It was just…there were some great times, but, you know some intense ones too," She nodded.

"Hey! Hey, can I get some service around here sweet cheeks?" A gruff looking man called from the counter. Grace and Ella turned to glare at him.

"This guy…" Ella balled her fist.

Grace nodded and gave Ella a reassuring look. "I've got your back, sister," She said, hoping to at least give Ella a laugh before she had to deal with the truck driver with his long john shirt and sleeveless vest over it and his greasy brown hair covered by and even greasier camouflage hat. Ella chuckled as she plastered a fake smile on her face and approached the man.

The bell above the door jingled and Grace looked up just as a little blonde-haired girl spotted her. Danica's eyes widened and she bee-lined for Grace, diving into the booth and hugging her tightly.

"Whoa…hey kid, how are you?" Grace asked with an affectionate smile. Danica smiled.

"I lost two teeth while you were gone!" She offered a big gap filled grin to show Grace.

"Wow, hey, you did," Grace said. She was contemplating making a reference to the tooth fairy when Izzy appeared. Grace looked at the carrier in her hand and then at Danica. "Did you get a little brother or a little sister?" She asked.

"We got a little brother!" Rush said, seeming to magically appear at Izzy's side. Izzy just smiled and put the carrier down on the table.

"Welcome back Grace!" Izzy smiled. "Meet Parker,"

Much to Izzy's astonishment, Grace leaned over the carrier to Parker, who looked like he'd just woken up from a nice slumber in the car and started saying hello, speaking to him much in the same way she spoke to Caleb. She even reached a hand in and let her finger tickle his cheek, causing his head to wiggle slightly.

"Hey, I'm missing all the fun," Luke complained as he rejoined them.

"Hey you," Izzy smiled and offered Luke a hug. Rush cheered and high-fived Luke and Danica flushed with a nervous smile and then buried her face into Grace's arm when Luke tried to give her a hug, proving to Izzy, Grace and Ella, who had just rejoined them, that the little girl was harboring a crush on Luke.

* * *

After a few more minutes of talking and catching up, Luke and Grace sat down to have some dinner. The first thing they did after the long drive back was to drop Glynis and Sweet Lou off and then they came straight it JB's for some grub. By the time they got to dessert, Grace was growing uncomfortable under Luke's worry-filled gazes. They were splitting her favorite dessert, Triple Chocolate Strawberry Surprise, only Grace was mostly moving a forkful around the plate.

"What's up?" Luke asked her.

Grace shrugged, glancing around. Avery and JB Jr. were in work by then and were waiting and bussing tables with Ella. Izzy was behind the counter serving, and ringing up customers, with Danica and Rush sitting on stools coloring at the corner and the baby was on the counter in front of them.

"I feel like we're living a lie," Grace spoke up.

"How so?" Luke asked before licking some chocolate off of his fork.

"I don't know," Grace shrugged, looking around again before looking at Luke. She leaned forward across the table, lowering her voice just a little bit. "What if he comes back? What if he comes after other people we know? Not just our families," She suggested. "They have no idea that they could bite the big one just for knowing us."

"Grace, they know about Ryan Hunter," Luke assured her.

"What?" Grace asked, clearly shocked. Obviously she hadn't thought of this scenario.

Luke nodded. He pointed to one of the TV's hanging by the counter, which was showing a news channel. "It's been in the news since he attacked the Art Gallery in California," He continued as Grace turned to look at the screen. A mug shot taken from hospital security cameras of Ryan and his spiked, dyed yellow hair and his sunglasses was plastered on the screen. Closed captioning supplied the words that the anchorwoman was saying. "Remember the camera crews?" Luke asked. "They've known the whole back story for a couple weeks now at least, including that he's…" Luke trailed off, clearing his throat.

"That he's related to me," Grace shuddered. Luke nodded. Grace turned her head downward, acting as if she was going to go in for another piece of the dessert, until she felt Luke's hand on hers.

"Obviously, it doesn't matter to them, Grace," He suggested, shrugging, "Or they wouldn't have even greeted us when we came in and all."

"It's still not fair to them," Grace suggested back.

"It's up to them to decide though, isn't it?" Luke asked.

Grace sighed. She knew she was defeated. "I suppose so," She replied. This was why she cut everyone off in high school. The more people you let in, the more people you wound up letting down and hurting.

"Come on," Luke left money on the table for the check, "we should get going; it's been a long day with the traveling and all."

Grace stood and pulled her coat on, leading the way out the door as Luke waved goodbye to everyone.

"Who's dorm?" Grace asked as they headed for the parking lot.

"Yours is probably safer," Luke suggested, remembering that they'd dropped Glynis and Lou off at his dorm already. Grace nodded as they climbed into Squiggy.

* * *

"I don't like having them in two far away places where we can't protect them while that maniac is on the loose, God only knows where, just waiting and plotting how to hurt them," Helen said as she sat on the bed in her pajamas with her back against the headboard and a book resting in her lap. She watched Will walk back and forth preparing for bed tiredly. He'd missed dinner, and in an empty house it's very depressing to eat alone. Helen was still getting used to cooking for just two. Kevin had saved the day, however, and had shown up and demanded that since Will was still at work, she come with him to his and Lily's house for dinner. Helen was convinced he was psychic. Really, Kevin had picked up on the scanner at the newspaper that his father was out at a crime scene and knew his mom would be upset.

Will finished pulling on a t-shirt and then unhooked his watch and placed it on the bureau before he peeled back the covers and slid his aching bones into the bed. He curled himself over to Helen, where he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"I agree…" He said calmly, "but…they can't stop their lives and go into hiding, Helen. The police and the feds are working together to keep them safe. All we can do is hope they know enough to protect themselves," He sighed.

"What about a bomb shelter, or something like it?" Helen asked randomly.

"What?" Will sounded confused.

"We could just bring them down with us and lock them in it, and no one will be able to hurt them," She replied with a wry smile.

Will chuckled. "Oh, but they're feral animals, they've had a taste of the real world. You can't cage wild animals," He egged the joke on. Both of them looked at each other and laughed at the ridiculous turn their conversation had taken.

* * *

It didn't take long for Adam to recover from the shock of Joan's confession. In fact by the time night had rolled around on the day they returned to school, he had managed to get a long private conversation with her where they resolved the issue. Adam firmly stated that it was not the fact that Joan could have been pregnant that spooked him; it was the fact that it was possible and plausible and Joan had kept it a secret, preventing him from shouldering the burden until the possibility was a mere memory. He had said everything Joan had wanted to hear deep down and then had made her look him directly in the eyes and swear on everything and anything-including mean koala bears in hats-that she would never keep anything from him again. Afterwards, he pledged the same to her, even swearing on the koalas.

From then on the months passed easily. Colby was pledging and being hazed for a sorority. At the end of January she had barely made it back into the room before she slumped to the floor and vomited. Johana had been the only one in the room, and she had also been a bit tipsy after spending a night at a party with Tristan, Brandon, Flynn and Beau. As a result, she'd taken great delight in Colby laying in her own vomit and had even gone as far as to snap a few pictures as she giggled and made fun of her. Joan and Adam had come back shortly afterwards. At first, Adam laughed, but a horrified look had crossed Joan's face. She was remembering the state Grace's mom had been in a few New Year's Eves back, as well as the time Judith had nearly killed herself drinking and the fact that Colby was face down in the putrid liquid was enough to send Joan into a turbo take charge mood. They'd spent the whole night nursing Colby back to health, narrowly avoiding the need to bring her to the hospital, only for her to be horrible and snotty to them in the morning when she woke up with a wicked hang over.

Colby had succeeded, also, in breaking Hayley and Brandon up by Valentine's Day. Hayley had spent nearly a month like a robot, going to class, doing homework and eating only because she had to. Brandon had been the same. Joan and Johana both tried to talk sense into the two to no avail.

By St. Patrick's Day, Johana and Joan were the best students in Professor Brinks' kick boxing class and were now considered unofficial 'assistant teachers,' willing to help any students who were having trouble when Brinks couldn't. The two made a good team, but Joan knew that she and Grace would always make a better team, no matter how close she and Johana became. However, that didn't' stop Joan and Jo from teaming up to bring Brandon and Hayley back together at O'Malley's for their annual 'Everyone's Irish' party.

Classes dragged on. Adam's art was selling so well that he was having trouble keeping up. His mind was spinning with the amount of money for each piece getting higher and higher. He had been contemplating transferring to New York so that he wouldn't have to ship everything across the country. Joan was very freaked out by this, because she was unwilling to uproot herself from the school she'd worked so hard to get into just so that Adam could be in New York doing his art. They'd had many long conversations about the positives and the negatives of the situation. Adam didn't want Joan to do something that she didn't want to do. They both also didn't want to be on separate sides of the country from each other. They were at a stand still. Joan was immersing herself into school work. She'd even picked up extra classes and an internship to help further her studies along quicker. Her plan was to finish as early as possible and then possibly go to Graduate school in NYC, so that she could then be close to Adam.

With all of this going on, Joan and Adam were both pleased to know that nothing majorly dramatic had been happening. Sure, Joan had gotten a few strange 'assignments' to figure out but with Adam's help they mastered the tasks quickly and moved on with life. They were happy that there was no sign of Ryan Hunter and they were feeling very optimistic about the future. Of course, that's always when something is bound to go wrong. It wasn't until the beginning of May that things began to go awry.

* * *

In Luke and Grace's neck of the woods, the semester took off slowly. Both Grace and Luke's classes had doubled and become harder. Grace was running low on cash, so Fleur had called a Lawyer in the city that she knew and managed to get her a paying internship. The only part of this that Grace despised was the need to buy appropriate work clothes. The first week she'd started working, she'd show up at JB's in the clothes and Ella, Izzy, Avery and JB Jr. would make comments about how she looked good, and then proceeded to pick on her just to be funny. At first it annoyed her but she quickly got over herself and let it go.

February brought two blizzards in 8 days, covering the city in nearly two feet of snow. Classes were only canceled for two days-the days that it was snowing. It was bitterly cold but Luke and Grace managed. They helped each other nightly with class work, and pulled quite a few all nighters in order to get everything they could done before Fridays and Saturdays so that Luke could make extra money with the band playing at various bars and clubs, even personal parties.

March brought St. Patrick's Day and although Grace hated the day, she managed to let herself be okay with most of her friends being drunk while they were at the same shady club the band had performed at for the first time. They were performing for St. Patrick's Day, and Grace knew for a fact that most of them were playing while intoxicated. She'd gotten a little tense during the break in their set when Luke was drinking, but at no point in the night did he smell like alcohol or was anything less than lucid, which was more than she could say for Charlie, Kit, Sweet Lou, Missy, Fleur, Aurelia and even Glynis. Avery and JB Jr. had even showed up, but left early for another party.

It wasn't until the beginning of May when things started to go downhill. Luke and Grace had built up quite a momentum, feeding off of each other to keep going and to keep positive and happy. They'd spent many nights huddled close together studying from different books while wrapped around each other and joking about the X-Files, stupid science stuff, or some little inside joke. They'd also had their fair share of intimate nights together, finding one of their empty dorms to tangle themselves up in each other.

At the beginning of May, classes ended, final papers were due, and finals were just finishing for both Luke and Grace and Adam and Joan. Adam was finalizing plans to transfer to the Art Institute of New York where he would continue studying media arts for advertising while working on his art for Sadie's Gallery. Joan was making plans to stay in California and take as many summer courses as possible. She'd just gotten an extension for her internship which also helped. Because she wanted to become a child psychologist, she'd found a good child psychologist not too far away that needed a new receptionist/file clerk. In turn, he tutored her and helped her with papers, projects and studies. Sometimes he even asked parents if she could sit in and observe sessions with their child.

In Massachusetts, Kit's parents were moving to Florida and Kit was taking over their apartment's lease. Charlie was moving in with her since the two had long ago hooked up. They then, in turn, had three bedrooms to fill and were in desperate need of help with the rent. Since it was actually cheaper than living on their respective campuses, Grace and Luke had made arrangements to move into one of the rooms. Because they'd been saving enough money, they wound up with the master room, which was quite nice, with its own bathroom connected even. Sweet Lou and Glynis jumped at the chance and soon moved into one of the other rooms. Finally, Missy and, surprisingly, Avery, rounded out the bunch, taking the last available room. Missy, mostly, didn't want to have to find a new roommate. She figured since she'd fit in and become good friends with the group, she'd stay with them.

* * *

On the morning of May 14th, Grace took her last final and was heading back to the apartment by 10:30am. Luke was finished his finals and had been at JB's since 6am. Charlie, Kit, Missy and Lou were taking finals and Avery was at work with Luke, having finished her finals. Grace entered the apartment, which was located between MIT and Harvard, putting it close to JB's-an excellent location for Grace and Luke. It was fully furnished and Grace was amazed they could afford it. Of course, because the lease had not changed hands, the rent was capped, and they sent their rent money to Kit's parents, who in turn paid up on the lease and the bills.

"Anybody here?" Grace called as she walked up the small hallway, past the kitchen and around to the breakfast counter. She sat on a stool as she opened a letter from Joan.

"Just me!" Glynis' voice called out. She came from the hallway of rooms to Grace's right, anxiously tugging her coat on. "But I'm about to leave! Haha, see you in a few hours Grace!" She grabbed her bag and left quickly, rushing to get to her final.

Grace hit the play button on the answering machine and listened, scanning through Joan's letter, figuring she'd reread it after the messages.

"Gracie, it's your father," The rabbi's voice sounded unusually placid and strained. Grace put the letter down, narrowing her eyes at the machine and listening closer. "It's 8:25 am, Monday morning…the 14th," He cleared his throat. Grace sucked in a deep breath, anticipating the next statement. She felt her eyes begin to burn and her heart started pounding relentlessly inside her ribcage. "It's time, Gracie…I don't remember when you said your finals are done, but you need to come home as soon as possible…your mother's asking for you…" He said quietly. "I have to go…call back…come home…either…please. Goodbye Gracie," The machine clicked and the messages ended.

Grace wasn't sure when she started breathing again. She'd been surprised and frightened to hear her father's voice on the other end. They'd hardly resolved their fighting over the holiday break in the way that she and her mother had somewhat resolved their own conflicts. Grace sat there, frozen. She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't ready to let go of her mother. Everything still wasn't resolved.

* * *

Grace lost track of time as she sat, staring into space. She could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall in the kitchen, but she couldn't focus on what time it was. At some point the door of the apartment opened and someone entered.

"Hey, I'm home, is anybody here?" Sweet Lou called as he walked through the hall. He spotted Grace with letters in front of her and headed over. "Hey, you got the mail. How was your final?" He plopped next to her.

Grace blinked, remaining motionless. Lou looked at her, trying to figure out what could be wrong. He waved his hand in front of her face.

"Grace? Hey? What's going on?" Lou asked her. Grace swallowed hard. Her eyes were glazed over and she looked like she was lost inside her own mind. Sweet Lou noticed the message blinking on the phone and clicked the button to play it. As soon as it finished playing, Lou picked up the phone and dialed the number for JB's.

"JB's Southern Comfort Diner, this is Ella, how can I help you?" Ella's voice floated through the line.

"El, it's Sweet Lou," Lou said.

"Hey Hon, you want to order something?" Ella replied happily.

"No, El, you'd better put Luke on," Lou said solemnly.

"Is everything okay?" Ella asked, concern lacing through her voice now.

"El, I need to talk to Luke right away, okay?" Lou said. He could tell from the trance Grace was in, and the message, that this was a dire emergency, worthy of instant support.

"Okay, hold on," Ella set the phone down. Lou frowned as he looked at Grace. He put his hand on her shoulder to try to comfort her but she didn't even flinch.

"Hello? Lou?" Luke said after he'd snatched the phone up.

"Dude, bro you need to get here now," Lou replied immediately.

"What's going on?" Luke asked.

"It's about Grace's mom. Just tell JB I'll come fill in for you and get here now," Lou persisted.

"On my way," Luke hung up. Lou hung up and put the phone back. He ran is hand in circles on Grace's back.

"Luke's on his way Grace, it'll be okay," Sweet Lou told her. He didn't know what else to do or say.

* * *

It only took five minutes for Luke to run from JB's to the apartment. He let himself in, skidding to a stop at the breakfast counter.

"What's going on?" He asked, looking at Grace and then Lou. Lou stood up to allow access to Grace. Luke sat on the stool next to Grace. He pushed her hair out of her face and touched her shoulder gently. "Grace?" He asked. Grace blinked and looked at him. She seemed to be in a state of shock.

"Her mom's sick," Lou said. He pressed the button of the answering machine to let him hear the message. Upon hearing her father's strained voice again, Grace's eyes spilled over, and her shoulders started to wobble. "I'm going to head to JB's to fill in for you," Lou said, grabbing his coat.

"I owe you, Lou," Luke told him.

"No you don't," Lou said on his way out.

Luke turned his attention to Grace. He'd left in such a hurry that he hadn't even taken his apron off. He'd forgotten his coat even. Luke whipped the apron off and tossed it aside. He reached out for Grace.

"Grace…" He said her name a little harshly. Grace's body jumped and she turned to look at him, as if recognizing for the first time that someone was in the room with her.

"Girardi…" Her voice cracked, dry and stiff. "My mom…" She tried to explain.

Luke nodded. "I heard the message. I know," He stood and pulled her against him so she was standing. He was hoping to get her to focus and snap back to reality. "Come on, we'll pack a bag and head to the airport," He tried to move her with him towards their room. Grace stood frozen, numbly buried against his chest, her hands gripping at the back of his shirt. "Grace…" He brushed her hair. "Come on, you have to snap out of it," He gave her a slight shake.

Slowly, Grace turned her eyes up towards him. She shook her head. "I can't do this," She told him. "I…I don't want to."

"I know you don't," Luke frowned. "But you know you need to," He continued. Grace looked down. She did need to. She just didn't want to. She was fairly certain she couldn't handle this. How did Rove ever get through this? He didn't even have the lengthy warning that Grace had. "Come on, let's get together okay?"

Slowly, Grace nodded, allowing Luke to lead her to their room. He sat her on the edge of the bed, where she noticed that the clock read 2:43pm. Luke grabbed a duffle bag and rushed around. He grabbed a couple of pairs of clothes for Grace and some for himself, tossing them and some necessities into the bag. He changed from his dirty work t-shirt into a clean t-shirt, pulling a dark maroon sweater over it. He quickly sprayed some cologne to cover up the burger smell and zipped the duffle bag shut. He found a jacket to use and threw it on. After he pulled the duffle bag to his shoulder, he held Grace's leather jacket up for her and she stood stiffly and pulled it on. Luke made sure he had his keys and then led Grace out into the hall.

"Hey guys…what's wrong?" Missy asked. She had just come in.

"Hey Miss, can you drive us to the airport?" Luke asked gravely.

"Sure," Missy didn't even have to take her coat off as she reached out and accepted Luke's keys. "What's going on?" She asked.

"I'll explain on the way," Luke assured. Missy nodded, locking the door as she followed them out.

* * *

"Hello?" Johana picked up the phone in the dorm. She licked some melted chocolate off her thumb as she waited for someone on the other line so speak, cradling the phone to her ear with her shoulder as she did her homework. There was a buzzing sound and some muffled words. "Hello? Who is this?" Johana said now.

"Hi, I need to speak with Joan," Luke said into the phone receiver. Each time he repeated it, it was louder. "No, JOAN! I need to speak to JOAN!" He called.

"OH! You need Joan? Sorry, Joan's not here right now. Can I take a message for her?" Johana finally replied. "Or you could try her cell phone if you know the number," She suggested.

"I'll just call her cell, thanks," Luke hung up hurriedly. He didn't really care if he sounded rude at this point. He hadn't been able to get a hold of Adam and now getting a hold of Joan was proving to be impossible.

Joan was just about to leave work when her cell phone began to buzz as it lit up. She yanked it out of her pocket as she locked the door to the office and started for the elevator.

"Yes dogboy, what's the problem?" She asked, slightly amused as she teased him.

"Joan?" Luke asked. The payphone at the hospital was horrible.

"Yeah, it's me. What kind of phone are you on?" Joan asked, glancing at her own phone before putting it back to her ear.

"Payphone," Luke replied. "I'm at the hospital-,"

"What's wrong? What happened?" Joan interrupted him immediately as she waited for the elevator to reach her floor.

"Nothing, we're fine. Well physically we're fine. We're in Arcadia," He sighed. "Grace's mom is…she's, er…taken a turn for the worse…in fact," Luke made a strange noise, "she's dying. The doctors gave her another few hours…at most. Her Liver's basically shutting down."

Joan was silent for a moment on her end as the elevator bell rang and the doors opened. She stepped into the elevator car and hit the bottom for the first floor.

"Joan? Joan are you there? Did I lose you?" Luke asked into his receiver, looking at it, and almost hitting it against the wall to make sure.

"No, no I'm here," Joan cleared her throat. "Adam gets done work now, so we should be back at the dorms at the same time. We'll throw some stuff together and get there as soon as possible," She told Luke.

"I don't think you have to," Luke said cautiously. "Grace might get mad if you fly all the way out here because of her mom-,"

"Don't be stupid, Luke," Joan interrupted him again. "We're coming home, and it's not because of her mom, it's because Grace needs us-even if she's going to say she doesn't," Joan continued. "I'll call you when we have a flight and let you know when we'll be landing."

"Okay," Luke agreed. They both said goodbye and hung up. Luke sighed. He picked up the phone and put in the last bit of change he had. Sometimes he really hated the fact that you couldn't use your cell phone in a hospital and he refused to go further from the waiting room then the hallway with the payphone in it. Before he could really think of who the next important person to call was, he dialed his home phone number.

"Hello?" Helen's voice floated through the receiver to Luke's ear-a comforting sound for him. Luke closed his eyes, leaning his head against the side of the phone.

"Mom, it's Luke," He said.

"Luke? Well, I wasn't expecting a phone call from you," Her voice sounded excited. She was happy to be hearing from Luke. "How are you? Is everything going okay?"

Luke cleared his throat. "No, not really," He replied. "We're in Arcadia mom. I would have called sooner but we kind of had to rush here. Grace's mom's in the hospital…" He let the sentence trail off, knowing his mother would make the connection that this was Sarah's final hospital visit.

"Oh, honey…" Helen sounded genuinely upset and distraught. "You wait right there, I'll be down as soon as possible," She told him.

* * *

Luke felt horrible, dragging his mom from home to the hospital after she'd worked all day and was probably exhausted. He knew, however, that Grace would need more than him for support and he was confident that she would need his mom.

"Okay," Luke replied quietly. They both hung up and Luke let out a long sigh. He turned and made his way back to the waiting room. Grace had gone directly into her mother's hospital room. Her father was already in the room.

Now, the Rabbi was in the waiting room. He was sitting in a hard plastic chair, hunched over with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped tightly together. His eyes were clenched shut tightly and his lips moved silently as, Luke guessed, he prayed for his wife. Luke sat down in a chair nearby the Rabbi. In honesty, he had become disappointed in the man since the New Year's Eve before they went to college, when he had shifted from mostly ignoring important family issues hoping they would go away to blaming Grace for everything that was going wrong in their lives.

The Rabbi must have heard Luke sit down because his prayer stopped and after a prolonged awkward moment, he slowly turned his head to look at Luke. Luke hadn't even made a move to look at the Rabbi. He was staring at the entrance of the waiting room. If Grace were to walk through the doorway into the waiting room, Luke was going to be the first person she would come across if he had anything to say about it.

"My Gracie…won't even look me in the eye anymore," He spoke up. Luke flinched, but he still didn't turn his head to look at the Rabbi. "She thinks I'm a failure as a father," He leaned back in his seat. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy. "Maybe I am," He nodded. "There's nothing I can do about it now, though," He was speaking to himself mostly.

Luke shook is head, letting out a hard breath. "Maybe if you stopped running from everything, she wouldn't be so disappointed in you," He replied without turning his head while keeping his arms crossed. He stared out the door of the waiting room at the clock that was attached to a wall behind the nurse's station.

The Rabbi didn't argue. He simply sat, thinking about Luke's comment, and probably the past, when things were easier and simpler. Luke recalled those times. In his own mind his had two separate lives; The simpler, kinder life was the one he had before Kevin's accident, the harder, more brutal and realistic world is everything after Kevin's accident. Both times were riddled with good, happy and loving moments. The latter, however, was riddled also with hard, desperate, despairing moments. Most people designated their lives into childhood and adulthood. Childhood was when all you had to do was run around and play, sucking up as much time outside as possible. Adulthood meant all things real in the world. Luke thought about both of these seemingly separate lives. It only took him 30 seconds to confirm that he did not regret either. He regretted Kevin's accident, but without the accident, it was highly improbable that he could have met Grace. He would gladly take the hardships; without them how would he truly appreciate the good times?

Finally turning his head, Luke saw that the Rabbi was staring at his lap. He had a thought-filled expression on his face. Luke knew he was thinking about all the regrets of his life. Thinking of his own father, Luke couldn't fathom how one man could block himself off to so much in his own life and then preach to a congregation of families worthwhile advice.

_

* * *

**I will remember you/Will you remember me/Don't let your life, pass you by/Weep not for, the memories…**_

Grace had pulled over the only chair in the room and sat facing her mother. The difference from now and the last time, was that she was clutching Sarah's hand this time and staring intently at her sleeping face. Grace had already done her fair share of crying. The whole plane ride she'd angrily wiped the saline drops from her face, desperate to make them stop. The expensive cab ride here was even worse. When she'd walked in, and her father had tried to hug her, she wished she hadn't been crying. She had almost wished he wasn't there. In fact, she hadn't said a word to him. She simply pulled the chair over and sat down, clutching her mom's hand and refusing to do anything but stare at her. After what could have been minutes or hours to Grace, the Rabbi finally left the room. Grace wanted to speak, in an attempt to wake her mother, but she was more terrified of what would happen if Sarah was awake.

It was a horrifying sight. Sarah's skin was yellow, and Grace knew that fluid had been building up in her legs and abdomen because of the edema that the cirrhosis was causing. Her muscles were mostly atrophied, her palms were red. There was dried blood that someone had missed cleaning around the edges of her nostrils from nosebleeds. There were also various bruises on Sarah's body from being handled, her condition causing easy bruises.

An oxygen tube was in her nose, circling around her ears and connecting under her chin. The whirring sound of the machine gave Grace chills. Wires protruded from the top of Sarah's hospital issue gown, presumably connected to the heart monitors that were beeping in a slow rhythm. And IV line hung down and wound its way into the back of Sarah's wrist on the other side of the bed. Grace closed her eyes for just a few seconds, trying to regulate her breathing. _You knew this was going to happen, why didn't you prepare yourself?_ She demanded in her mind. _Do you see what letting your guard down has done to you, Polk? You've gone soft. Shut up. _Grace shook her head and inhaled deeply. She felt movement near her hand and she slowly, cautiously opened her eyes. Sarah's eyes, the same eyes Grace stared at in the mirror everyday, stared back at her through Sarah's barely opened eyelids. At the sight of Grace, Sarah's lips curved into a tiny smile.

"Gracie…" She spoke so quietly Grace actually leaned forward in the chair to hear her. "You're here…" Sarah sounded shocked.

Grace nodded, her chin quivered before she could stop it. She couldn't bring herself to reply. She knew if she spoke, her welling eyes would overflow again and that was the last thing she wanted.

"Oh, Gracie…please…" Sarah said sadly. "I've caused enough crying…" Sarah used as much effort as she could muster to reach up and brush at a stray tear on Grace's cheek. Grace shut her eyes for only a second before surrendering to the tears as she reached up and curled her hand to her mother's which was still against her cheek.

She shook her head slightly, "Please don't die…" She said feebly.

A sad smile came to Sarah's face as her hand came to rest on the bed again. She squeezed Grace's hand tighter. "Come now, Gracie…we both knew this time was coming," She replied.

"You can't just…leave," Grace argued. "Not when we were…" Grace hesitated, unsure how to finish her sentence.

"When we were fixing things?" Sarah's voice came labored and Grace hated to take up Sarah's energy selfishly by talking. In truth, Sarah had been living at the Polanski house on hospice for nearly two months. She'd been rushed to the hospital early that morning, when the inevitable had arrived. Grace nodded.

"Gracie…I know I don't deserve your forgiveness-," Sarah started to speak.

"You already have it," Grace interrupted her. Sarah's eyes opened just a bit more and she began to tear up. Grace couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Stop it, only one of us is allowed to cry at a time," She sniffled and used her free hand to wipe at her face.

Sarah lingered, letting her eyes drink in the sight of her daughter before her for a moment. She sighed softly, and gave a small shake of her head. "Oh…Elizabeth is sure going to give me a good talking to, for being so awful to you, when I see her again…" She mused.

Grace stared at her mother. She hadn't heard Sarah speak about Rove's mother since the day Grace came walking in the house, fresh from Rove's house, tear stained and frightened. She told her mother what had happened and Sarah hadn't mentioned Elizabeth since.

_They were two women who had become friends only when Adam and Grace had; at the playground when they were three and some kids were bullying Adam, who was prying his sippy cup open to use the water inside to make wet sand and sculpt pictures in the sandbox. Grace had been standing there with her mother, having just arrived at the playground, witnessing the whole thing. As soon as Sarah had told Grace she could go play, Grace had marched right over to the two boys. She had picked up the soccer ball that the bigger one had been throwing at Adam and threw it back in his face. He had run away crying, with his nose bleeding down the front of his shirt. The other one hadn't looked up from shoving Adam's face into the sand, so Grace had picked up a handful of sand and stuffed it right in his face. The boy fell backwards, crying. His mother came rushing over, followed by Elizabeth who had witnessed what was going on and Sarah was close on their heels. The boy's mother started muttering angry phrases and __Elizabeth__ had defended Grace, while cleaning Adam off. Adam simply sat, staring at Grace until their mothers introduced themselves and wondered away to find a bench to sit on and talk._

_Grace had then pulled a paper boat out of the back pocket of her overalls. Her dad had shown her how to make one just the week before. Upon seeing it, when Grace fully unfolded it from being flat, Adam stared at it, mesmerized. _

_"Where'd you get that?" He asked, marveling at the masterpiece in front of him. _

_Grace smiled warmly at him. "My Daddy showed me how to make 'em! It's easy!" She turned to walk away, towards the creek that was a little bit away from the swings and slides of the playground. When she noticed he wasn't following she turned around. "Come on already!" She'd ordered him. Adam had stood up, dusted himself off and followed at once. "I'm Grace," She told him simply. _

_"I'm Adam Rove," He had stuck out his stubby little hand like he'd seen his dad do many times. "Pleased to meet you," He gave her a big grin. _

_"You're weird," She told him. Adam seemed only a little bit put off by this. Grace grabbed a hold of his hand and started walking faster, "Come on Rove, we have to hurry," She told him._

_"Where are we going?" Adam asked, glancing back towards his mom. _

_Suddenly they stopped by a small trickling creek that was maybe one or one and a half feet deep. Grace dropped right down to her knees on the muddy, rocky edge of the water. Adam knelt next to her. _

_"We're gonna make it disappear down the river!" She pronounced proudly. Before Adam could protest, she reached out and set the boat among the water. _

_"No!" Adam said, but it was too late. The boat wobbled, sinking slightly and hitching but it continued up the water. _

_"It's okay! I'll make you one! Come on!" Grace jumped to her feet and ran after the boat until the water disappeared into a drainage tube, leaving Grace cheering on the shore. Adam stood solemnly, but soon smiled, enjoying the idea of paper boats sailing. Boats were supposed to sail. _

_Before he could say anything else, Grace was speaking again. "Race you to the slide!" She said, taking off. _

_"Wait!" Adam called, running after her. _

"I don't think she'd have room to talk," Grace commented a little bitterly. She had never truly forgiven Elizabeth for what she'd done to Rove, even though she knew that Elizabeth hadn't intentionally done it to hurt Adam.

Sarah looked at Grace sadly and shook her head. She reached her other hand, the one with the IV in it, over and patted the top of Grace's hand. "Gracie…if there is only one thing you will remember…" Her speaking was becoming more labored as the conversation progressed. "It should be that…no matter how much a person loves someone…a husband, a wife, a child…there are things in life…that we lose control of," She looked at Grace. "It was not Elizabeth's intention to hurt Adam…" She reached her hand to Grace's cheek again. "Just as…it was not mine…to hurt you…sometimes we become so…blinded with mistakes…and habits…that we are too far gone…for too long…and it becomes too late."

"Mom…" Grace began to speak, finding she was becoming increasingly choked up as it became harder for Sarah to continue to speak. Sarah shook her head to silence Grace.

"The only thing you can do…Gracie…is learn from my mistakes," She told Grace. "Don't ever let…the ones you love…go a day without knowing how much you love them," Her eyelids began to droop. They closed for a second and Sarah's breathing was so shallow and slow that Grace wasn't sure she was still alive, aside from the heart monitor.

"Mom?" She spoke quietly, frightened. "Mom?" She shook Sarah's shoulder gently.

"Remember…when you were…7…" Sarah spoke, opening her eyes just a crack and letting a tiny smile come to her lips again. A stray tear slid out of her eye.

_**Remember the good times…that we had/I let them slip away from us when things got bad…/How clearly I first saw you, smiling in the sun/Wanna feel your warmth upon me/I wanna be the one…**_

Grace blinked, trying to clear her blurry tear-filled vision as she listened. "You wanted…to play hockey…with the boys…because Carl signed Adam up…" She smiled again with much effort.

Grace nodded, letting a sad chuckle out. "You were terrified I'd get hurt…b-but it didn't surprise you…" Grace sniffled, "When I w-wound up hurting the boys instead."

"I always admired…how brave you are," Sarah said lovingly. "You must've…gotten that…from a grandparent…God knows…your father and I…are not."

Grace was trying not to let her tears cut into her voice now. "Why is this happening now?" She hadn't meant to ask the question out loud. Wasn't God supposed to be on her side? Grace's body tensed, anger began to build. Sarah squeezed her hand.

"Oh, Gracie, no…don't be angry...please," She looked sadly at her daughter. So much anger, so much hurt, most of which was Sarah's own fault, shown all over Grace. Grace sniffled, setting her jaw tight. "The day you were born…" Sarah spoke again after a few minutes of them staring at each other. Her eyes closed slightly again. It was barely visible that her eyes were open by now. "Oh…you were…so perfect…" Sarah's voice filled with deep sadness and regret. "I swore…that nothing would…ever hurt you…" She continued.

"Mom," Grace tried to stop her. She wasn't sure if she could take much more. Sarah's eyes opened further with great effort.

"I never knew then…that I was included in that promise, Gracie…" She swore. "I need to know...you know…I love you."

Grace nodded, unable to speak. She clutched Sarah's hand. _Not now, _she begged, _please, not now. I don't ask you for anything…please; please don't do this to me._ Grace slowly stood; she managed to crawl onto the edge of the bed, lying down with her head resting in the crook of her mother's neck. She let her shoulders shake, not caring that she was crying now.

"I have to go now," Sarah said softly.

Grace lifted her head, alarmed. "No, Mom…I can't do this…" She pleaded. Sarah's eyes were closed. "There's too much we didn't…resolve…"

"It's okay Gracie…" Sarah promised.

"No, it's not," Grace argued. "Mom, please…"

"Shhh…Don't…live in the past…You have a…bright future…to look forward…to," Sarah said calmly. Her breathing slowed again as Grace pushed Sarah's hair out of the way. She stood up off the bed.

"Mom, wait, don't go yet," She begged Sarah quietly, crying harder. She leaned down and kissed Sarah's forehead before leaning down to whisper, close to her ear, "Mom…I love you…" She said before a sob cut into her voice.

Within seconds, the heart monitor began to emit a long, slow alarm. Grace stared at Sarah. She shook her shoulders some.

"Mom…no…please wake up…" She begged, even though she knew it wasn't possible. She sunk down, burying her face into Sarah's neck and letting the sobs take her over.

A nurse hurried in. She was about to clear Grace away and start CPR, until she saw the initials D.N.R. on Sarah's chart. She walked over and turned off the heart monitor and the oxygen machine before walking around to Grace and putting a hand on her shoulder, expressing condolences to Grace. Grace didn't move, she just kept crying. The nurse left, presumably to go and find Grace's father.

Grace didn't know how long it was but eventually, she felt a strong hand on her shoulder. By now the sobbing had given way to hiccups, as Grace stood, numbly still leaning down with her face buried into Sarah's neck.

* * *

"Gracie…" The Rabbi's soft whisper reminded Grace was when she was little and had nightmares. He would come in and quietly say her name before sweeping her crying form into his arms and telling her that it was only a dream and he was there to protect her. "Gracie…it's time to go," His voice sounded thick, as though he was fighting not to cry.

Moving mechanically, Grace stood straight and turned. She was aware that her father's arm was around her shoulders but everything seemed to wobble around her. Her head felt heavy and her chest felt constricted. She had had this dream many times. But she usually woke up before this point. How could this really be happening? Her mind reeled as her father led her towards the waiting room.

* * *

"You got here faster then I expected," Luke said when Joan and Adam came running into the waiting room. He had gotten a hold of Joan at 5pm their time. It was almost 11 when they showed up, with Will in tow, who had picked them up from Baltimore and drove them down. Helen accepted hugs from both of them as she stood up from her seat like Luke had. Will went over to talk to the Rabbi. Joan stepped in front of Luke, after lingering for a long moment while hugging her mother. Before Luke could say anything else, she threw her arms around Luke and hugged him tightly. "Whoa…are you okay?" He asked her. Joan nodded into his chest before pulling away and sucking in a deep breath.

"How's Grace?" She asked. Luke frowned.

"She's been in her mom's room since we got her," He said. Joan nodded. Adam was right next to her, listening intently. He looked dazed and weary. No doubt he'd spent the whole plane ride thinking about his own mother.

"All we can do is wait," Helen informed them, reaching out to put a comforting hand on Adam's shoulder. "Are you okay?" She asked him.

Adam cleared his throat, and nodded. "Uh…yeah…I'm okay," He lied. His mind was caught up in memories.

"I'm going to go down to the cafeteria and get us all some coffee and something to eat, okay?" Helen looked around at all of them. All three of them nodded numbly. Helen offered one last longing glance before turning and heading for the cafeteria.

Luke sat down. Joan sat down to his left side and Adam sat on the other side of her. Luke began staring at the clock again. Joan reached out and tangled her hand in his. She reached her other hand out and wrapped her arm around Adam's arm before entwining their hands. She put her head down on his shoulder and they sat in silence.

It was minutes after that that an alarm went off behind the Nurse's station. All three of them, and Will and the Rabbi's heads looked up. The head nurse stood, calling out to another nurse.

"Code blue in room 493!" She said.

Luke swallowed hard, climbing to his feet. The Rabbi stood, stunned for a minute before heading down the hallway behind the second nurse. Joan and Adam both stood up slowly. It took 20 minutes for the Rabbi to bring Grace back up the hallway.

They all saw her, and her eyes looked at them but it was clear that she was numb and couldn't really see them. Her eyes were distant and her movement was stiff and awkward. She didn't even seem to register that her father's arm was around her. Luke stepped forward, without a word as the Rabbi turned and headed for the nurse's station to start signing the papers and documents that needed his approval. Grace's eyes were glazed, but no tears seemed to be able to fall as this point. Luke wrapped her up in his embrace and held onto her without saying a word. He felt her weight relax only a little into him as her head turned to the side and pressed into his collarbone. He clenched his own eyes, trying to hold back his tears, pained at seeing Grace in such a distressed state of shock as he stroked her hair and swayed just slightly.

Joan and Adam inched forward, both with watery eyes. Before they could think better of it, they circled around Grace, Joan on one side and Adam on the other, wrapping their arms around the huddle that was Grace and Luke, and placing their heads down next to hers. Without warning, a strangled sob escaped Grace, and her shoulders shook as she buried her face forward into Luke's sweater.

Helen came back to the waiting room as the group huddled close, holding onto Grace firmly. She put the tray of coffee and food down was Will walked over to her. Helen easily began to tear up and Will put a supportive arm around her, as he looked on, frowning at the saddened group.

_I will remember you/Will you remember me/Don't let your life, pass you by/Weep not for, the memories…_

Everything happened too quickly for Grace to grasp anything. She couldn't bring herself to sleep. She'd spent Tuesday cleaning the entire house, unable to rest. Adam, Luke and Joan had taken up residence at the Polanski house. Joan had taken Grace shopping on Tuesday as well, to find something appropriate to wear since most of both of their clothes were in their dorm or apartment. Likewise, Adam and Luke had to go and find appropriate clothing. Adam hadn't been able to sleep either. He'd spent most of Tuesday night and early Wednesday morning sitting on the front porch talking to Grace about their mothers. Mostly, Adam talked and Grace remained mostly mute.

* * *

Now, at the cemetery, Grace stood as still as the statues on nearby graves. The Rabbi was at the front of the coffin with a fellow Rabbi from a nearby congregation that had known the family. Grace was glad he wasn't standing next to her. She felt terrible for feeling that way. Luke had a firm arm around her that came across her left shoulder and down her back to her waist. She stood perfectly still with her hands at her sides. Her eyes were horribly bloodshot and swollen. They burned as wind whipped around them. Her eyes had dark bags under them from lack of sleep. Joan had brushed Grace's hair, parting it to the side and using pins to hold it back. Adam stood next to Grace on her right. He held tightly onto her hand, just as she had at his mother's funeral. Joan stood just behind the three of them with a comforting hand on Adam's shoulder and the other hand on Grace's shoulder. Helen and Will stood next to Joan, behind Luke. Kevin and Lily were somewhere nearby, trying to stay out of the way but still be supportive.

Missy, Glynis, Sweet Lou, Charlie, Kit, Fleur, Aurelia, Dina and even Ajax and Clayton, from the band, had traveled down in support of Grace. She knew they were there but she couldn't tear her gaze away from the coffin with its beautifully alive flowers piled on top of it. Grace thought it was incredibly hypocritical to have such beautiful, lively things on top of something cold and dead. JB had even closed the diner for the day. He, Izzy, JB Jr, Avery, Ella and even Danica and Rush were also present.

Grace couldn't even focus in on any of the words being uttered around her. Relatives huddled around sniffled and cried. Grace stood frozen. She couldn't cry anymore. In fact, she was fairly sure that her tear ducts had sealed themselves shut after becoming bored and tired of working to produce new tears to cry. Still, she held a handful of balled up tissues that someone had handed her.

Finally, when her father began to recite a Eulogy that Grace knew he'd written well before Sarah had died, Grace looked up through the rows of headstones. There, standing off by a tree stood Collier. He was in a black suit with a long flowing trench coat. His face was downcast and somber and even from the distance, Grace could see his dark, red tinted eyes. She probably would have felt anger, but she was too exhausted to even bother.

* * *

After a long grueling ceremony, everyone retreated back to the Polanski house. All the mirrors in the house were covered. The house was prepared for a 7-day sitting of mourning known as Shiv'ah. Usually the mourners and visitors are not supposed to share greetings, but Grace ignored the looks of her family and father as those who came all the way from Massachusetts to support her. She accepted their hugs and thanked them all, but spoke little. What was there to say? Most of them had never seen her in this condition. Mostly Luke Adam, Joan and Glynis acted as a buffer, carting away and talking to those who had visited from Cambridge.

Grace found herself sitting out on the deck just beside the door that led back into the house. She leaned her back against the outside of the house, just under the window that she knew was above the sink. She looked down at the ribbon that was pinned to her sleeve. She knew it was there out of tradition. Technically the mourners were supposed to tear a part of their garment, but the tradition had morphed into placing a ribbon upon themselves and tearing it instead, so as not to ruin clothes. She remembered wearing this ribbon when her Grandmother had passed away.

"Can I join you?"

Grace looked up and saw Adam. She nodded weakly and looked back down at her lap. Adam handed her a glass of water as he sat down on the other side of her.

"How come you're not sitting in a chair?" He asked.

"Custom," She muttered, "Supposed to symbolize the emotional reality of being brought 'low' by grief and sadness. Rove…listen…I can't do with anymore words of wisdom-,""

Adam nodded slowly. "There's nothing I can say…you know…" He shrugged as she looked over at him and he looked out into the yard, his hand lingering at his knee as he picked at an invisible piece of lint. He looked back at her. "Everything anyone says to you is fake," He commented. Grace turned and stared at the deck, listening. "Things like they say in the movies…it just makes it worse," He looked at her. Boldly, considering Grace's temperament, Adam reached out and slipped his hand into hers. Grace looked over at him. He pulled her hand up and kissed the back of it before putting their clasped hands to his chest over his heart, "but…if I made you a paper boat, we could sail away for awhile?" He suggested. Grace's eyes welled as she tightly pushed her lips together. She leaned in and put her head down on Adam's shoulder and he pulled his arm around her. They didn't speak. No more words needed to be said between them.

_

* * *

I'm so tired, but I can't sleep…/Standing on the edge of something much too deep…/It's funny how we feel so much, but we cannot say a word…/We are screaming inside oh, but we can't be heard…_

By the following Tuesday, Grace hadn't once left the house. Mostly she stayed in her room, seated on the floor in the corner with her back to the wall. She used the least amount of words possible. She slept a half an hour at a time, not moving from her position in the corner except to drag herself to the bathroom or to eat. Mostly Joan, Luke and Adam took shifts sitting with her, not talking, or talking while she listened. They brought her food and water and sat next to her protectively.

It was sometime around 5 or 6pm on Tuesday when she finally cracked. She was sitting out on the front steps, leaning against the railing. Adam and Joan had gone on a food run. Will and Helen were inside helping to clean and speaking with the Rabbi, Adam's Dad and the others inside. Luke walked outside, lingering in the doorway and watching Grace stare up at the sky. Finally he walked over and sat down next to her. He didn't speak. Luke hadn't used any of the cheesy cliché that everyone used when someone you knew died. He never once told her not to cry, or that her mother wouldn't want her to be upset. He never pushed her to do anything she didn't want to, only asked her if she wanted to eat, or to go for a walk or something along those lines. He never once fed her a stupid line like 'it's going to be okay.' Grace loved him all the more for it. Now, as she sat with her legs up and her hands clasped between her knees, he simply reached out and put his hand over hers.

Grace stared out across the street. "I used to think I would be happy…" She tightened her jaw and Luke saw her eyes filling. "You know…when she died," She shrugged and put her head down. Her hair fell in her face as she shook her head disgusted with herself. "How horrible is that?"

_I will remember you/Will you remember me/Don't let your life, pass you by/Weep not for, the memories…_

Luke took his hand and brushed her hair behind her ear before moving and kissing the side of her head, drawing her to him with his arm. "It doesn't make you horrible, Grace…it makes you human," He told her.

Grace sighed. She abruptly stood up and walked down the steps to the sidewalk. Luke stood and stepped down the stairs.

"I can't stay here anymore," She stated. Her arms shook and she looked wild and restless. "I can't deal with…with all of them and these traditions and…stupid, ribbons," She tugged and ripped the pinned on ribbon away violently, dropping it to the ground.

"Grace," Luke said.

"I can't deal with this," She spoke again. "I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't get her face out of my head, I can't get her voice…" Grace ran a ragged hand through her hair, seeming to rock as she stood, unsure what to do.

"Okay, Grace," Luke stepped forward, taking her shoulders in his hands. "Where do you want to go? I'll take you anywhere you want," He assured.

"The cemetery," she swallowed hard. "I want to go to the cemetery," She told him. This shocked Luke. A week ago she'd told him she never wanted to set foot in the cemetery again. Still, he nodded and moved to sit her back on the steps.

"Stay right here, I'll get my dad's keys," He told her. Grace only nodded as Luke disappeared inside. Moments later he returned and walked her to the car.

* * *

Once at the cemetery, they sat in the car, parked by the fresh gravesite, for nearly 45 minutes. Grace stared out the window at the stubble of grass poking up in random spots in the freshly packed dirt on her mother's grave. Flowers were wilting next to freshly laid flowers at the bottom of the headstone. Finally, Grace flung the door open and started towards the grave. Luke was alarmed but he just hurried to follow.

_I'm so afraid to love you…/But more afraid to loose…/Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose…/Once there was a darkness…deep and endless night…/You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light…_

Grace paced at the grave for a few minutes as Luke stood by, watching, not sure what he should do. "How could you think everything was just going to be okay?" She yelled at the headstone, biting back the threatening tears as she angrily paced. Luke felt his heart pounding. He wanted just to pull her to him and make all of this go away, but he stood helplessly to the side.

"You left me with this mess to sort out myself!" Grace screamed. "You left me before you died! You left me when I was too young to understand why! You left me here with all this…all this…confusion…and anger and pain!" She fell to her knees now in front of the grave. "Now you get to go and rest forever and I'm stuck here! I'm stuck here trying to fix the life you screwed up for me!" She reached out and hit the grave angrily. "How could you do this to me? How dare you!" She hit the grave again before collapsing towards her knees. Luke dropped himself in front of her awkwardly reaching into grab her. Grace's upper body fell across him, with her head lying sideways on his shoulder and bicep, both of her arms curled in so her hands clutched his arm. Luke held onto her as he body rocked and she began to sob for the first time since they were at the hospital.

"How could you just leave me after everything you said…and did…how can you just…when I need you…I've needed you for so long…" She said out loud. Hiccups cut through her sobs as she tried to catch her breath. She was aware of Luke's own tears falling into her hair as he held onto her tightly, trying to figure out what to do to help her.

Luke shifted to a sitting position to pull Grace close and she panicked and gripped him tighter.

"Please don't leave me," She begged.

"I'm not going anywhere," Luke's heart broke further now that he'd caused her extra stress. "I'm right here…" He kept repeating into her ear, rocking with her. Grace cried for a long time, just buried into Luke. Luke was aware at some point when she'd managed to exhaust herself to sleep, only to wake up crying again after nearly an hour.

By the time the sun had set, the temperature had dropped dramatically. Luke could feel Grace shivering in his arms. He had already taken his suit jacket off and draped it around her.

"We should get you home soon, you're going to get sick," He finally said quietly. He had been ignoring the numbness and the pins and needles in his limbs for a few hours.

"No…not yet. I can't," She croaked. Her throat was sore. She sniffled occasionally, cried out and just feeling numb and empty again.

"Okay," Luke agreed.

_And I will remember you/Will you remember me/Don't let your life, pass you by/Weep not for, the memories…/Weep not for the memories…_

By 10 pm, it had started to rain. The cold, fat drops splattered against them and the ground softened under them, leaving their clothes muddy and their hair matted down to their face. Grace's eyes started to droop wearily and Luke had to make a decision. Her shivering had worsened and her teeth were chattering. In one swift move that he wasn't even sure how he'd managed to do, he'd stood up, scooping her with him with one arm under her knees and one arm supporting her back. Grace laid limply against him, her head buried into his collarbone and her arms gripped to his shirt and the back of his neck. 

He carried her to the car and put her in before climbing in and driving to her house. Once there he carried her right past everyone, as she fell asleep against his shoulder, up to her room. He'd locked the door behind him so that he could change her into some dry clothes and then had let Joan and Adam in. The two of them dried Grace's hair and covered her up while Luke quickly changed into some clothes before he went over and sat on the bed next to Grace. He sat back against the headboard and lifted her upper torso into his lap. Joan and Adam laid themselves around her on the bed and they stayed with her all night, sleeping in shifts so that they one of them would be awake should she wake up.

Joan was the last to be up. She watched the sun rise through Grace's window as she looked at the other three sprawled tightly together on the bed. Luke had Grace's upper body wrapped tightly in his embrace. Adam was sprawled on his stomach with his arms draped over Grace's knees, and Joan had slipped her hand into Adam's while he slept. Looking at them now she realized that life was never going to get 'easier.' It was going to keep throwing curve balls at them. Instead of wishing for better, they were learning how to survive and keep each other afloat. She took a deep breath and swore to herself that she would never let them lose each other, and she would do everything in her power until her last dying breath to make sure they stuck together, because she knew they would never survive apart.

**

* * *

A/N: PHEW! That was tough people! Cut me some slack on the time it took to update (cough, Sayxanything, cough!) How horrible did I do? (As my mother, thank God, hasn't died, huge amount of knocking on wood here, I wasn't sure if I adequately described Grace's reactions so….I did my best people). Moving on…**

**Chapter title from 'I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan. **

**FYI: The next chapter will probably be the epilogue, tying up loose ends. And just a huge forewarning, it's probably going to leap a year or maybe two into the future, just so you're not freaked out and confused.**

**Responses: Tiffany – **Am I still less evil than you? Your welcome for the non break up _but_ that doesn't mean it won't happen in the future you know! You should update by the way…you're driving me nuts. I need to know what's going to happen!

**Kool-Wolf – **Dude, I WANT TO FREAKING LIVE! I'll make it much later…well…sort of…you'll seen (in regards to the pregnant thing). I think I'm putting Ryan on the back burner for the end of this story (as the epilogue is up next). Of course…that doesn't mean he won't be back for say, a third story. Hate your guts on a regular basis, foe. Peace. Actually, scratch that…violence.

**Carol – **Thanks for the flashback kudos! I know the flashback for this chapter wasn't from an episode but what did you think of it? Grace is not having visions. ) That's a neat idea though. No she was thinking about everything that had happened with Ryan Hunter and as a result she was picturing bad things in her mind, like possibilities. So she freaked out. No…I can't tell you if there's going to be a showdown. I CAN tell you it won't be in this story…but that just means I have to keep writing now doesn't it? )

**Audrey – **Thanks for the kudos! How awful did I make this chapter? Be honest now!

**Andrea – **Thanks for the kudos, yo! Was this an adequate update? Sorry to make you wait so long!

**Coveredinrain16 – **All good things must come to an end! I'm leaning towards a third story though! Phew…I was worried about the J/A thing there dude! Thanks for the kudos…I'm blushing, seriously. I'm not worthy! Admitting addiction is the first step! But who would want to get over this addiction? So…how bad was this chapter? Be honest! Much love!

**Laura – **Hey, hey my lowland sista, where have you been? How bad was the withdraw this time? Don't hurt me! Ah…I'll explain the Bonnie bit in due time (maybe I'll explain it in e-mail if you're nice! Ha!) There can truly never be enough G/L. Be honest and tell me how horrible this chapter was will you? P.S. – Awwwwww! (On the mom hugging!)

**Sayxanything- **I'm sorry! Relax withdraw maniac! How bad was this chapter?

**Sam – **Shame on you! Kidding, I'm kidding! ) Don't feel bad! Caleb has got everyone under a spell hasn't he? Maybe he's evil? No, not really but that would be amusing! I'm partial to the G/R friendship as well, by the way. Yes! It would be weird for Grace to call her Helen wouldn't it? I know you love the baby thing, I'm throwing it in now just for you and me lol! Thanks for the Kudos on everything! Much love!


	17. All That I Need Is Right Here

**Holds Me Together  
Rating: T-M Just in case  
Disclaimer:** You know the drill.  
**A/N:** Much love! Sorry for the proofreading as always. **FYI: This chapter's going to be considered the epilogue for this story. First and foremost thank you for all sticking with me, I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it! Secondly, yes there will most likely be a third story, stay tuned! And Thirdly, just to let you know this chapter leapfrogs a bit into the future, but not very far, just so you aren't too disoriented. Enjoy! **

**

* * *

Chapter 17 – All That I Need Is Right Here**

"Girardi!" Grace called out over the loud buzz of annoying travelers huddled around the baggage claim carousel. She had managed to find her suitcase and finally had spotted Joan and was now trying to make her way through rude, tired, travelers.

When Joan spotted her, she almost squealed as she launched herself at Grace. "You're here!" She cheered.

Grace disentangled herself from Joan quickly, "Can we save the greetings for a less crowded place?" She asked with one of her all too familiar smirks.

Joan smiled and nodded, "Gladly, let's go." They made their way out into the May evening.

Once they were safely inside Joan's car, which was a new metallic dark blue GTO, a far cry from Squiggy, Joan brought the engine to life and started driving.

"I can't believe you live in New York and have a car," Grace commented, looking around at the pristine vehicle.

"We only use it when we have far enough places to go," Joan defended, "Like back home to Arcadia, or for picking _someone _up from the airport."

Grace smirked at this before moving on in subject matter. "You know you totally owe me big time for this," She commented.

"Oh come on Grace, you dress up for work all the time," Joan retorted. Grace smiled as she looked out the window.

"At least I get paid for that," Grace muttered, doing her best to sound put out for having to wear a dress _and_ be Joan's maid of honor.

"Oh that's how it is huh?" Joan replied, she reached for one of the cup holders and pulled a quarter out of it, holding it out to Grace without looking away from the road. "Well here you go," She said.

Grace couldn't help the chortle of laughter that escaped her as Joan dropped the quarter into her palm. "Well, it's not my usual fee, but I _suppose_, it'll do," She commented sarcastically.

* * *

The rest of the ride was spent talking about what had been going on in their lives since they last saw each other over the Christmas holidays. After completing her Bachelor's degree in two years by taking classes during summer and doubling her course work during the regular semesters Grace moved straight on to Graduate school, at Harvard Law, spent the last three years working as hard and as fast as possible. She passed her bar exam easily and had been recruited by the firm she'd been working for since her first year of college thanks to Fleur, since she'd graduated last may in 2011. In fact the reason she had had to fly in so late was that she had been waiting for two days for a jury to return a verdict in a child abuse case. The jury had come back at nearly 4:30pm, narrowly avoiding stalling Grace for another day so the jury could deliberate on Friday. Afterwards she'd gone back to the apartment where she already had everything she needed packed and had left immediately for the airport, as her scheduled flight was for 6:30.

Joan had taken an interesting turn in her school career. She'd met her two year goal easily and had transferred to NYU where she'd spent three and a half years working through summer and winter holidays completing a Ph.D in Clinical psychology. She'd finished her degree this past December-and amazing feet considering the turn Joan and Adam's life had taken not too long ago-and had just walked with the graduating class the Saturday before. Grace had been unable to come down for the ceremony but had made sure to send her present along and called Joan in the evening.

Adam had transferred after the end of their first year in college to Columbia to finish his media arts degree. He had quickly, thanks to the ease of his money situation now, found a nice studio apartment to continue making his art in while he went to school. By the time he'd graduated, after four years, in 2010, his sculptures and artwork were going easily for double-digit thousand dollar biddings, and in a few rare cases, he reached over $100,000 biddings. He was currently working as a freelance marketing and advertising art consultant while still making art for Sadie's gallery. Out of loyalty to her, he had refused to release his art to any other gallery.

When Joan had transferred she'd, naturally, moved right in with Adam. When she'd graduated this past December, he'd used his own money to lease out an office in a building that was nearby Sadie's gallery. It was full of psychologists and a couple of doctor's offices. Joan had been interested in starting her own office in order to start working as a clinical psychologist working mostly with adolescents and children under 18. Since the others in the building were already established in other topics, they welcomed Joan's practice in, since they all worked together to help people and gave each other references and referrals when appropriate.

It seemed everything was working out. Luke had completed his Graduate studies in 2010 and was working as a forensic pathologist for the FBI thanks to some FBI connections his father set up for him. He had been in town since Tuesday.

* * *

Considering it was only 8:30 at night, the traffic wasn't too horrible it had only taken a half an hour to get from La Guardia Airport to Joan and Adam's apartment near Washington Square Park. Joan took a turn right into the parking garage for their building and found her spot.

"I figured you're only staying a few blocks away, we can stop in for a few minutes before we bring you over there right?" Joan asked as she and Grace climbed out of the car and Grace pulled the handle of her wheeling suitcase. Grace nodded. "Besides Kevin and Lily are staying with us so Caleb and Katie are with them," Joan gushed. Caleb would be 5 in October and Katie was born two years after him, she was turning 3 in July.

Grace smiled at this but a new question she'd been waiting to ask Joan since they had greeted each other came up as they made it into the elevator. "How's Gabe?" She asked.

Joan smiled. "Oh he's all out of whack since Caleb and Katie are visiting," She almost laughed as she said it.

They were mostly silent as they entered the large, open apartment.

"We're here," Joan called out. Loud thumping footsteps bounded forward and around the corner. Caleb and Katie skidded to a stop only when they hit Grace at the knees and hip, latching their arms around her. Grace's eyes had widened but she hadn't had enough time to brace herself and she found herself on her back on the floor before she could even speak.

"Hi aunt Grace!" The two of them chorused, grinning widely at her.

"What'd you bring us?" Caleb inquired.

Grace laughed. "That's how you greet me? You assault me and ask for presents?" She asked, reaching out to tickle them as a punishment as she sat up. The giggled madly and nodded.

"Ye-eee-eesss!" Caleb answered through his giggles as the two untangled themselves from her.

"O-kay…" Grace said dramatically, before reaching into a compartment in her bag. "I suppose I can give you these then," She handed them each a present. Katie's was a stuffed turtle, since she'd been collecting them for a year now. She hugged it and cheered before diving at Grace for another hug. Caleb's was a bag full of packs of baseball cards, since he had started recently collecting them. He hugged Grace as well and then ran off to the living room to open all of them.

"Adam?" Joan called out, as she and Grace advanced into the apartment to the living room.

"I'm coming!" Adam called out from somewhere up the hallway of doors to their right.

"Hey," Adam came out of the hallway and greeted Joan with a kiss on the cheek before turning to Grace and dragging her to him in a one-armed hug.

"Whoa, too many hugs in such a short time people," Grace stated. "Is there a phobia for that?" She mused.

"Gabe, are you going to hide or come say hi?" Joan asked, leaning around Adam to speak.

Grace looked down and saw a small boy with dark hair that mirrored Adam and Joan's hair and the same chocolate brown eyes as them. He stood with his right thumb stuffed into his mouth and his left hand clinging to Adam's hand. He looked timid, and frightened but highly curious. Grace couldn't blame him, since his birth just after Christmas of 2010; Grace had seen Gabriel a total of 20 times, if that. He was only a year and half old and was still getting used to recognizing people who he didn't see more than 4 times a year. Adam turned and picked the little boy up, resting him against his hip.

"You remember Aunt Grace don't you?" He asked Gabe. Gabe looked Grace.

Grace smiled and offered a small wave. "Hey Gabe," She said warmly, hoping she didn't scare him any further. Gabe instantly turned his head and buried it into Adam's shoulder, curling against him tightly.

"Guess not," Adam supplied with a sheepish smile.

"Where are Kev and Lily?" Joan asked as she poured a few sodas for them in the large kitchen that was separated from the living room by a strategically placed wall that had a breakfast counter on the side facing the living room. Grace accepted one gratefully.

"Went to drop some stuff your mom and Dad left in their carry-on bag," Adam supplied. "They should be back in a little bit."

Joan nodded. "Okay, I'm going to go with Grace to the hotel to check in," She turned to look at Grace, "Okay?"

Grace nodded. "Hey, I'm all up for being carted around," She nodded. Adam rolled his eyes and shook his head smiling.

"You guys wanna say goodnight to Aunt Grace?" Joan asked turning to look at Caleb and Katie playing with their new presents in the living room. They looked up and nodded before they ran over, hugged Grace quickly and went back to their presents.

Adam hunched his shoulder to get Gabe's attention. "You're not even gonna say buhbyes?" He asked. Grace stifled the laugh she wanted to let out at hearing Adam talk to his son. Gabe shook his head, not moving. "Aw, come on, you're going to hurt aunt Grace's feelings," He said. Gabe looked up to see if his daddy was telling the truth so Grace, reluctantly but quickly, pouted her bottom lip dramatically and pretended to wipe a tear away. Right away Gabe took his hand out of his mouth and reached out for her. Joan and Adam laughed and Grace smiled as she accepted Gabe from Adam's arms and hugged him.

"Bye-bye Gabe," She smiled as she offered him back over to Adam before she and Joan headed back out of the apartment.

* * *

Once in the lobby of the hotel she was staying in, Grace and Joan said goodbye and Joan left to go home. Grace approached the front desk.

"May I help you ma'am?" The man behind the desk with a name tag reading 'Bluto' asked as she approached.

Grace smiled, mostly because she was thinking about how his parents must have been as mean as Friedman's for giving him such a name; or they just really liked Popeye. She wondered if he had a sister named Olive. "Uhm, yes, it's under Polk," She spoke up after clearing her throat.

Bluto smiled. "Yes, we've been awaiting your arrival," He turned around and went to a mailbox, bringing back an electronic key. "You're in room 949," He handed her the key.

"Thanks," Grace took the card and turned, pulling her suitcase behind her to the elevator.

Once she reached the floor, she stepped out and read the number plaques before turning to her left and heading down the hallway to the last door on the left. Smiling to herself she slid the keycard into the slot and opened the door. She stepped in, put her bag next to her and shut the door behind her.

"Hey there stranger…" She offered an impish grin as Luke stepped out of the bathroom with a towel on to inspect who had entered his room as he'd just gotten out of the shower.

His smiled matched the mischief in hers. "Took you long enough to get here…" He said as he took another step forward, just as Grace took a step towards him.

"A woman's gotta work you know," She commented, biting her bottom lip slightly as they gravitated another lingering step towards each other.

"Oh, of course, definitely," He replied with a mock look of agreement. Both of them let smiles spread across their faces and they swiftly closed the gap between them. Grace linked her arms around his neck and ran a hand through the back of his wet hair as he pulled her to him by her waist and their lips connected, engaging them in a long awaited kiss.

After a long few minutes, Grace pulled away looking up at him with a grin. "I like you in this new look," She ran a hand across the top line of the towel, looking down at it and then back at him.

"I supposed it would be easier then having to unbuckle a belt and jeans," He shrugged, playing along.

Grace gave him a sly grin, "Ah well, there you go always think of me," She said before they commenced in kissing again, edging easily towards the oversized bed.

* * *

Friday morning rolled around easily. Luke and Adam's main job for the day was to chauffer everyone who was flying in from the airport to the hotel Luke; Grace, Helen and Will were staying at. This meant primarily that Johana and Tristan were flying in from Arizona at 11:30 am with their daughter Jocelyn, who had just turned three and was born a year before she and Tristan graduated. Johana had continued going to school after Jocelyn was born and finished on time. Tristan had waited until Johana had graduated to finish schooling, opting instead to get a full time. Hayley and Brandon, who were finally engaged, were flying in at 1pm. Hayley had graduated a year before Brandon, since she was older, and had gone into real-estate at her father's company. Brandon was going for his Master's Degree in marketing, but was working at Hayley's father's company in the mean time, just not as a real-estate agent. Missy, who had become a good friend of Joan's after coming down for Thanksgiving breaks and visits sometimes when Luke and Grace did was flying in at 12:45 with, of all people, Collier as her escort. Even Joan's favorite professor/kickboxing coach, Jessie Brinks was flying out with her husband. They were going to be arriving late, around 7pm. They had phoned ahead and assured Joan that they would take a cab to the hotel, since the rehearsal started at 5pm, with the rehearsal dinner following at 6:30pm.

Grace, Lily, Helen and Joan spent the day insuring that everything was in order. All of their dresses were pressed and so they picked them up and dropped them off at Joan and Adam's apartment. They made many phone calls to check on the hall and make sure everything was okay for Saturday, to check and see if the flowers were ready to be dropped off in the morning, to make sure the limo company knew where to come to pick everyone up in the morning, and other such arrangements.

By 3pm Luke and Grace met up again at their hotel room. Grace dramatically flopped onto the bed and let out a sigh.

"This is way too much work," She reached up to rub her face, "I'm never planning a wedding…" She commented.

Luke was too busy staring at her shirt riding up along her stomach as she stretched to pay too much attention to Grace's frustrated comment.

"It's all about Vegas…or maybe a beach…no," Grace shook her head, still rubbing her eyes, "I don't like beaches much…anyway the keyword is elope…" she propped herself up on her elbows and looked at Luke. He just watched her, amused. "Not that I'm getting married…who needs institution?" She questioned.

Luke simply smiled and shrugged. "Marriage isn't about _forcing _yourself to spend the rest of your life with someone," He stated as he flopped down on his back next to her, "It's _wanting_ to."

Grace mulled this over for a few minutes before she became uncomfortable with her own thoughts. She dug into her pocket and pulled out a quarter. "Heads I shower first, tails you do," She said. Luke sat up as she flipped the quarter and reached out and caught it in mid-air. "Hey…" Grace frowned and crossed her arms.

Luke grinned and pressed his forehead to hers. "Who says we have to take separate showers?"

Grace snickered at him. "We usually wind up late when we do that…" She warned.

"We don't have to be in the lobby until 4:30…" He pressed on, moving in to start trailing kisses into her neck. Grace bit sucked her bottom lip in and bit into it, closing her eyes, losing her side of the argument.

"God, I'm glad I don't have to go to court against you…" She spoke up in a low whisper.

Luke laughed. He knew he'd won as he kissed on.

* * *

After the rehearsal, Joan, Adam, Will, Helen, Lilly, Kevin, Grace, Luke, Johana, Tristan, Missy, Collier, Hayley, Brandon, and the kids, Caleb, Katrina, Gabe and Jocelyn went to Da Salvino for dinner. Grace wasted no time in making a comment about Italians and their food causing Will, Luke and Kevin to promptly rub their stomachs muttering 'bring on that garlic.'

By the time the appetizers came the long table they were seated at was buzzing with laughter and conversation. Actually, it was more like a couple of tables pulled together. Will sat at the head of one side, to his left sat Helen, then Joan, Adam, Gabe (in a highchair), Johana, Tristan, Jocelyn and Lilly. Kevin was at the other end in his wheelchair with Lilly to his right. Along the other side to his left sat Katrina in a booster seat, then Caleb, Grace, Luke, Missy, Collier, Hayley and Brandon.

Lily was talking to Johana and Tristan about their jobs and the daycare center Lily had started in Arcadia while Kevin was keeping Katie entertained but bringing a piece of toasted bread to life and making it talk. Grace was showing Caleb how to fold paper boats while Luke talked to Missy, Collier and Adam about various things. Hayley and Brandon were telling Joan all about what they were doing in California. Talking about real-estate sent Will into a long conversation with Hayley while Helen was interested in taking Gabe form his chair to her lap so she could bounce him on her knee and shower the top of his head with kisses.

"I've been thinking about what you said," Grace commented to Luke after their main courses had come and the table's chatter had increased as they ate their dishes.

"What did I say?" Luke asked after swallowing a mouthful of pasta.

Grace smirked and wiped some pasta gravy off of his cheek. Once she was confident that no one was listening to them, she spoke up with an answer. "About marriage," She said.

Luke looked at her strangely but nodded, allowing her to continue. "I think you're right," She nodded.

"Am I?" He asked. Grace looked at him smugly; he was not going to make this easy for her. Luke smiled.

"Yes," She nodded. "I mean, maybe my parents married each other because they thought they wanted to, and I spent most of my life seeing how they just forced themselves to stay married. But," Grace glanced down the table at Helen and Will. They were both feeding short strings of pasta to Gabe and laughing when he got gravy all over his face and he reached his stubby little hands out to smear it all over before licking at his palm and fingers. Grace shrugged, "I don't know…I understand how you grew up understanding that it was about wanting to you know…share your life and all that…mumbo-jumbo…" Grace began to blush.

"Mumbo-jumbo?" Luke grinned. He let his shoulder tap hers playfully. "I was starting to get worried you were going soft on me…" He teased her.

Grace shrugged, "I'm just saying…I think you're right and I agree with you," She stated.

Luke nodded. "Good-," He began to say.

"That doesn't mean I want to get married, brain…" She said hastily.

Luke held his hands up in defense. "Loud and clear…" He commented, though the slight disappoint me he couldn't cover up did not go unnoticed by Grace as they started eating again.

* * *

Once dinner was finished everyone walked back to Joan and Adam's apartment since it wasn't far from the restaurant. Once inside Joan went to put Gabe to sleep since he'd been falling asleep on her shoulder the whole walk home. Everyone gathered in the living room for a few more conversations before everyone staying in the hotel prepared to leave. Johana and Grace were staying behind, as bridesmaids to stay at the apartment. Will was going to stay at the apartment and watch the kids so that Lily, Grace, Helen, Johana, Missy and Hayley could take Joan out. Jessie Brinks and Sadie were going to meet them out at the bar they were heading. Likewise, Kevin, Luke, Brandon, Tristan and Collier were going to bring Adam out. At the end of the night Johana, Lily, Grace and Hayley would bring Joan back to the apartment and they would prepare for the wedding there in the morning. Adam was going to go back and stay in Luke's room, where they hotel was supposed to be setting up an extra cot for Luke to sleep on.

"Come on Grace loosen up a little bit!" Hayley said, giving Grace's arm a slight shove. They were in a trendy club, aptly named Rehab. In the corner by the stage where a DJ was playing and lights were flashing, was a long horseshoe shaped plush booth that the women occupied. Grace was seated on the end with Helen next to her. She was drinking a cup of water. They'd been here for only two hours and already Hayley, Johana and Joan were buzzed. Jessie had shown up shortly after they'd arrived and soon Glynis arrived, fresh from flying in late with Sweet Lou, who had gone to meet up with the boys.

At the moment everyone except for Helen and Grace were out on the dance floor dancing to some monotonous techno song.

"Oh, no, I'm fine, thanks," Grace assured, declining the drink Hayley held out for her. Hayley shrugged and left the extra drink on the table before heading back into the crowd. Grace glanced at Helen, who was watching her thoughtfully. They seemed to be having an unspoken conversation when Glynis came over from the bar and sat down next to Grace with a cup of water. Glynis' appearance was a far cry from what it had been in high school. When she'd started getting low on cash due to tuition, she'd picked up modeling jobs to pay for what she needed.

"You're not drinking tonight?" Grace asked over the music.

Glynis blushed. She shook her head. "Oh no, I can't," She smiled with one of her infamous nervous laughs.

"You can't?" Helen asked suspiciously.

Glynis shook her head. "Oh no, it would be very injudicious and detrimental," She said absently with a nod. Grace raised her eyebrow.

Helen's eyes widened. "Glynis, are you pregnant?" Helen asked when she noticed Glynis chewing ice cubes as if she was trying to settle her stomach. Even Grace looked shocked at the statement. Glynis blushed at looked at Helen, who had just put her wine glass down.

Glynis nodded, "I haven't told anyone but Louis yet," She stated.

It was then at Grace noticed a large diamond ring on Glynis' left hand. She reached out and grabbed Glynis' hand to examine it.

"How did Sweet Lou score that big of a rock?" She asked in shock.

"Congratulations, Glynis," Helen said, still in shock.

"Thank you Mrs. Girardi," Glynis smiled. She turned her attention to Grace. Grace knew Lou was a genius. He'd been in college since he was 16 and had graduated to become a doctor at 24, two years ago in 2010. It had garnered him the nickname of Doogie, from Doogie Howser. Grace didn't think Lou had it in him to marry anyone.

"He thought he was the one with the big news of the night, ha-ha," Glynis laughed her normal anxious laugh. "He asked me, I said yes and then I told him," She smiled.

Grace nodded. This was too much. Even Sweet Lou was the marrying kind. Before anymore could be said, the rest of the group came over. It was time to head for another club.

* * *

"What've you got there?" Adam asked. He was sitting next to Luke at the corner of the bar in the pub the guys were at. Collier and Brandon were playing Tristan and Sweet Lou at a game of pool and Kevin was giving Collier and Tristan pointers since they didn't know how to play. Luke and Adam were sitting at the bar, chatting and drinking. Luke looked down at the black box in his hand.

He put it down on the bar in front of Adam with a sigh before picking up his bottle of beer and drinking down a gulp. Adam reached out and opened the box. Inside was an engagement ring. Its band was white gold and it had a big diamond in the middle with five small diamond's running down each side of the band.

Adam was shocked for a moment but he replied with a joke, "Sorry, man, I'm taken," He teased.

Luke offered a small smirk of a smile and then took another drink. Adam became serious.

"Are you going to ask Grace?" He questioned, even though the answer seemed obvious. Luke thought about this question for a minute before looking at Adam. He shrugged. "I don't think she'll say yes," He sighed.

Adam studied the ring. He knew it must have cost a pretty penny. At some point Luke had to be pretty sure that Grace would say yes, or else, why would he have bought it.

"I've had that since the day before we graduated high school," Luke spoke up. Adam stared at Luke in shock as Luke took the box back, staring at the ring for a few minutes. He laughed slightly at himself. "Only, I've been too chicken to ask her. I'd rather be with her, than have her leave me because I asked her to marry me," He confessed.

Adam smiled slightly at this. He had spoken to Grace two times in their lives about marriage. Once had been when they were nine and the other had been when Gabe was born.

_Grace had known before then that Adam and Joan were going to get married. She stared through the nursery window at Gabe while standing next to him. _

_"You know…" She had spoken up, "and make no mistake, if you tell anyone I said this you're a dead man…but, watching you guys and seeing him…I can see why people have good reason to get married…I suppose it wouldn't be so bad," She said. Adam had smiled. Though it didn't seem like it, Grace had just admitted that she would like to marry Luke one day. _

"Well," Adam finally spoke. "First of all, I doubt she'd break up with you. At worst, she'd probably smack you and tell you that you're crazy for thinking she would want to become someone's property," He laughed. Luke had to smile at this comment. "However…if you want some advice from someone with inside knowledge…" Adam trailed off.

Luke looked at Adam. "I'm listening…" He said slowly.

Adam nodded. "I think she'd say yes to you," He confessed, taking a sip of his own beer. "When we were nine she wanted to get married out on a hillside at sunset. Of course, she didn't want to get married in a big fluffy white dress though. She never liked that idea, she always said it seemed too uncomfortable," Adam nodded. Both of them couldn't help but laugh at this.

"I don't know," Luke finished off his beer and ordered another.

"That's just it, though," Adam put a hand on Luke's shoulder. "You'll never know if you never risk it and put the question out there."

Luke nodded and stuffed the ring in his pocket. "I'll ask her…soon."

"Good luck," Adam held his bottle out and Luke clinked the top of his bottle with Adam's.

"Yeah, really," He chuckled before he took a drink.

* * *

"If that's Adam tell him he's not allowed in!" Joan demanded as Grace went to the door of the back room at the Church. Helen was helping Joan with her veil as Johana, Hayley, Glynis and Lily fixed her train. Grace walked over to the door and opened it enough to peak her head out.

"Luke! What are you doing?" Grace asked with a smile. She hadn't seen him since the end of dinner the night before. Before she could demand him to answer he kissed her.

"I came to make sure everything was okay," He tried to strain his neck to look around Grace and see Joan in her dress. Grace blocked his view and laughed.

"Oh, no you don't," She teased.

Luke held something out. "Here, there's one for everyone but make sure Joan gets this one, and this one is yours,"

Grace looked down and saw gift boxes in his hands. Grace took them, looking confused and interested. He held one more out.

"This one's for mom," He gave it to her. He looked nervous. Grace was perplexed.

"Okay, what's going on?" She asked him.

"Do you girls need any help?" He asked. "I was sent to see if you need help. Plus I wanted to give you those," He motioned towards the packages.

"No, we're fine," Grace assured.

"Okay, they want to start in 15 minutes," Luke told her.

Grace nodded. "Gotcha. We'll be ready," She promised. Luke leaned in and kissed her again. Grace swatted him again. "Stop it, we're in a church dude," She said playfully.

Luke gave her a last lingering smile. "Have I told you today that I love you?" He asked her.

Grace flushed. "Dude, this stuff is making you way too sappy…" She teased him. Luke smiled and kissed her once more before turning to go finish helping guests to their pews. "Hey Luke?" Grace called in a whisper. Luke turned his head back to her. "I love you too," She said before disappearing and shutting the door. Luke just smiled at the door and then went to escort someone.

* * *

"What's all that?" Joan asked.

"Luke gave them to me…" She passed them out to everyone by whose name was on it. Johana, Hayley, Glynis and Lily's all contained silver bracelets that matched their bridesmaids dresses and a short letter, thanking them for being true friends and for always supporting his sister. Helen held a beautiful pearl necklace and a letter professing her a wonderful mother that none of them deserved and expressing his gratitude and love for her. Joan's contained a gold necklace charm in the shape of a little boy with green painted shorts and a baseball cap that she could put on her necklace with the sun charm on it. It held three page letter, front and back, telling her how much she meant to him and that she was her closest friend despite the fact that they fought like cats and dogs most of their lives and picked on each other. He told her how happy he was for her and how proud of her he was for not only finishing school but for taking her education past the level almost everyone told her she never could. He also told her that he always believed she could do it, even if he picked on her for her intelligence; he never doubted her will power and determination. Joan was in tears by the end of the letter and the others had to make sure her eye make up didn't run.

"What's yours, Grace?" Joan asked after a sniffle as Helen helped her put the charm on her necklace.

Grace looked at her package, almost afraid to open it in front of anyone, in case it made her as emotional as Joan. Slowly she opened the box. Inside were a small velvet bag and a letter. She took the letter out and read it thoroughly. It was short, just a page long, but held volumes in a few words.

_Before you freak out and threaten to murder me for this, let me share with you a few important things, Grace. I love you. Yes, I know you know that. You asked me a few weeks ago why I love you. Well, there are a lot of reasons. I love how strong you are. I love how determined you are in everything you do. I love how fierce you are. I love how you're willing to grow and change and not apologize for it. I love how fiery and stormy your eyes get when you're working on a case to help a kid, or a family or any one in need who's been dealt an injustice. I love walking around the city with you just because you can't stand to be inside anymore, and that pair of Chuck Taylor's you wear even though the soles are worn down and your feet get soaked when you accidentally tread into puddles. I love everything there is to love about you. _

_Do you remember that conversation? When you asked me what I could possibly love about you when you had so much baggage and flaws? That's just it Grace, I love everything about you-even that baggage and the flaws. Nothing is ever routine with you. Well, no, one thing is routine-you love me. I know you do, I can see it, I can feel it. Anyway…this is a big day, not just for Joan. It's a big day for all of us. We've been together and fighting for a long time, the four of us. Joan and Adam are completing part of the future today. I've had this present, since the day before we graduated high school. I've been waiting for a long time to give it to you. I've always been afraid that your reaction to this would be the end of us, but I can't keep fearing such silly matters. Love, ours especially, is stronger than gold, diamonds, and documents binding us together. I meant what I said; marriage is about two people **wanting **to share their lives forever. _

_I love you, Luke. _

_P.S. – Dump your present out into your hand already, would you!_

Everyone was watching Grace by now. Her eyes were welling, so they knew it must have been good. Slowly she tipped the little bag upside down into her hand. A little piece of paper slid out followed by something hard. Grace looked at the paper and her eyes widened dramatically. Timidly she looked down, her mouth gaping open, at the ring in her hand.

"Oh my God!" Joan rushed over to her. She saw the little piece of paper reading 'will you marry me' on it and then the ring as Grace stared at it, frozen. Joan was almost squealing as Helen and the others rushed over.

"Oh, Grace it's so beautiful!" Glynis commented.

"She looks like she's going to hurl," Johana almost laughed.

"Well, are you going to say yes, girl?" Hayley asked.

Grace looked around at them, dumbstruck and almost terrified. Her eyes landed on Joan's. Joan smiled warmly at her. Clearly she knew that this had been in Luke's possession for awhile.

"I…" She couldn't think of what to say. "I don't know…" She said nervously. Suddenly a knock came at the door.

"Are you ladies ready?" A deep voice called through the door. It was Will.

"We're coming, Daddy!" Joan assured. She told the others to go ahead and that she and Grace would be out in a minute. They all ushered out and left the two alone. "Grace?" Joan asked putting a hand on Grace's shoulder. "Are you all right?"

"I'm…freaked," She nodded. She took a deep breath and shook her head. "It's not a big deal. This is your day. Let's get you and Rove married," She said to Joan.

"Oh no you don't!" Joan said. "We are not leaving this room until you decide," Joan said defiantly.

* * *

Caleb helped Gabe up the isle as the ring bearers during the ceremony. Katie and Jocelyn were flower girls. Behind them the bridesmaids and the groomsmen walked up the isle. Luke stood just behind Adam, with Gabe at his side, holding tightly to his pant leg with a pacifier in his mouth. Adam swallowed hard, staring at Joan as she walked up the isle. Luke looked at Grace, trying to see her hand. Grace remained with a smile plastered to her face. She'd promised Joan she would smile for the pictures. She kept her hands hidden from Luke with her bouquet. She had to make him squirm after all.

The ceremony was sweet, and relatively short. It brought tears to Helen's eyes, but Will cried harder in Grace's opinion. Everyone was glad to be at the reception though, where they could relax. After the cocktail hour, the bridal party was announced and walked in, followed by Adam and Joan's first dance as a married couple.

They danced to "I Knew I Loved You" by Savage Garden. Halfway through the song, Gabe trotted up and reached out for them, so Adam scooped him up easily and they swayed with him as they danced. Neither of them could stop smiling.

After the dance everyone sat down to dinner. Grace was careful to keep Luke in suspense throughout dinner. It worked out well because Adam and Joan were seated in the middle of the table and the groomsmen sat on Adam's side and the bridesmaids sat on Joan's sides. After dinner were the toasts. Will made a tearful toast to his daughter. Kevin had pulled himself out of his chair and into a standing position, something he'd only recently been able to do for short periods of time and made a toast about Joan and Adam and even made everyone laugh by commenting that he was older so he should have been the best man. Then Luke made his toast, one he'd written long ago and managed to leave hardly a dry eye in the house. Last it was Grace's turn. She managed to make everyone laugh at her stories from high school of Joan and Adam being turbulent but steady in their feelings even when they hid them from each other.

* * *

Sometime around midnight, Grace spotted Luke off to the back of the hall swaying with Katie on his hip. He head was burrowed in his shoulder and neck and she was asleep. In his free hand Luke was nursing the end of a rum and coke. He put it on the table and let his hands fold together under her rear to support her better. Grace smiled to herself as she sat at her seat for the first time since the toasts had ended. She given in to Joan's requests finally and had been dancing. Luke still hadn't managed to see if she was wearing the ring or not.

Finally, when Grace had gotten to sit down, after many bathroom trips to fix Joan's dress, and fast dances to crappy cliché songs, Grace simply reveled in watching Luke with his niece. It was short-lived however, because Kevin rolled over and Luke handed Katie over gently. She woke up only for a minute to realize who had her and then curled into Kevin's lap and fell back asleep. Luke smiled and he and Kevin talked for a few more minutes. Afterwards, Luke looked into the direction he knew Grace had been sitting only to see her gone. He went over to the edge of the dance floor and was about to speak when the DJ interrupted to dedicate a song.

"I was told to send this one out to…" He looked at the paper in front of him, "Brain. She says you know who you are," And he started playing the song.

Luke smiled slightly as Grace appeared in front of him.

**_I don't need whiskey, to drown out the pain…/Or some old umbrella, to hold off the rain…/Don't have to cross over, a river of tears…/All that I need is right here…_**

"So are we going to dance or are you going to gawk at me?" She asked. Luke hadn't even looked at her hand now that it was in plain view. He stepped forward and swooped her into his arms. He took her left hand in his right and laid his right arm around to her back. Grace rested her right arm at Luke's shoulder as he smiled down at her and they began to dance to the tune.

"I thought we agreed no more country songs?" He asked with a grin. Both of them had reluctantly become somewhat country fans thanks to Squiggy's radio never being fixed years ago when they drove her.

"Shut up," Grace said quietly. "This is the sappiest I'm going to be for awhile so listen close, brain…" She told him.

Luke smiled as they swayed. "That's not true…I can just put on the animal channel…I know your weakness for puppies…" He grinned. Grace rolled her eyes at him and sighed. She moved her right arm around him further and put her head down against his shoulder.

**_Holdin' you…hold me together…/When holding on…gets just a little too hard…/When this tight rope I travel…/Begins to unravel, and I feel like I'm falling apart…/Holdin' you…holds me together…_**

Grace was aware of Luke's embrace tightening on her a little as they continued to dance. She didn't even mind that Joan and Adam and Helen and Will who were all dancing nearby were staring at them, intrigued. She lifted her head up and looked at him, letting all the memories from the moment she met him on roll through her mind-good and bad. Luke simply smiled back, knowingly. The same memories floated through his mind. Grace could feel his heart pounding.

**_You know life's a freight liner…/On a runaway track…/But I'll take the ride knowing…/That you'll bring me back…/No fate's too uncertain, no distance too far…/As long as you're here in my arms… Holdin' you…hold me together…/When holding on…gets just a little too hard…/When this tight rope I travel…/Begins to unravel, and I feel like I'm falling apart…/Holdin' you…holds me together…_**

"You now I really don't deserve you," Grace said quietly.

"We've been over this…" Luke said. "Love's not about whose worthy. It's just about us. We deserve each other."

Grace's eyes filled against each other. "I don't think I could ever tell you how much…" She let the sentenced trail off, knowing she'd probably cry if she continued and she refused to do so.

Luke shook his head. "Shh…I don't think I could either," He grinned and pressed his forehead down to hers. "It's not something you have to say, it's just something I know," He assured.

Grace nodded, venturing to offer him a quick kiss. He smiled as they kept dancing, which, eventually caused Grace to give a small smile.

**_When ever I…hold you tight…/This crazy world of mine…falls right in place…/What ever the…trouble is…/You find a way to…give back what it takes…_**

"I never thanked you…for everything," Grace said.

Luke shook his head. "You never had to," He told her. Grace wasn't sure she was ready for this. She was used to them being together, yes, but she wasn't sure she could marry him. She didn't want to disappoint him. She looked at him anxiously.

"I don't want to ruin this, Luke," She told him.

Luke shook his head. "It won't always be easy and perfect you know," He told her. "That doesn't mean it's not completely worth it though…" He said. Grace nodded. She moved her left hand around and let him see the ring on it.

"How's it look?" She asked. Luke took her hand in his and kissed the back of it, pressing it to her heart and then kissing her as they swayed to the end of the song.

"Perfect," He smiled, pulling her in. By now they mostly looked like a swaying hug.

"I love you," She confessed to him. She felt him land a kiss to the side of her head.

"I love you," He replied.

**_Holdin' you…hold me together…/When holding on…gets just a little too hard…/When this tight rope I travel…/Begins to unravel, and I feel like I'm falling apart…/Holdin' you…holds me together…/Holdin' you…holds me together…_**

**

* * *

A/N: Tear…it's over! Okay…so I went out with the sap ending, can you blame me? I am a hopeless romantic after all…was it horrible? Moving on…**

**Chapter title was from "Holdin' You" By Gretchen Wilson. **

**Quickly, a huge thank you to everyone who read this, double thanks to all the faithful reviewers! Much love (cough hate, kool-wolf) to you! **

**Responses: Tiffany – **You get special preference because you were up really late waiting for this even though you left just 5 minutes too soon, yo! Update your story soon! You DID disappear!

**Butterfly Dancing – **(update!) Where have you been? Oh I have missed you! I can't believe I left you speechless…! I'm sorry about your aunt. Thanks for the Adam and Grace scene kudos. And the best friend kudos! I agree, there's nothing you can say to make it better, just worse, even if it's the thought that counts. Thank you! )

**Sayxanything – **EXCUSE ME, I meant how bad was this chapter? Actually, how bad was this finale chapter? I'm glad you loved the last one! I noticed the withdraw…lol. I love to leave people hanging! Here's your 17th chapter…the epilogue. Should I do another story?

**Kool-Wolf – **Dude! I'm sorry! This was a faster update doesn't that count for something? Yeah, it was a sad chapter…this one was happier and sappier though! Technically, I didn't make Joan pregnant…I skipped over that part! Psst…there's probably gonna be another one…that will have more predominant Ryan showdown chapters in it…just FYI. Hat your guts too. Glad you like violence? Violence to you!

**Coveredinrain16 – **Intense chapters are good though right? Thank you for the kudos, I'm not worthy! Aw, I made so many people cry with that chapter! I'm glad you agree it's a good time to end it. I think it's appropriate. The question is, did I end it well, with the jump in time? That's a great song, it's John Mayer right? Another Shade of Green? ) Never apologize for long reviews! I love long reviews! I love story and song suggestions too! It is a good J/A song btw. Thanks for the kudos and rambling! I'll probably pick up the third story in a few days! Much love!

**Laura – **I'm sorry I made you cry when you were going clubbing! I'm sorry! Psst, you owe me a review though! Lol. Thanks for the kudos, email me darn you!

**Audrey – **Youuuuuu need to update! I wish I had a Luke too…wow…I'm speechless as the "this could have easily been in the show." I'm so not worthy of that good of writing! This was the last chapter for this but I'm going to do another story, don't fret! )

**Jane and Adam – **Thanks for the kudos. I'm sorry I made you cry! I made a lot of people cry…I feel bad! Thank you. What'd you think of the ending?

**Carol – **I'm sorry you cried! Agh! I feel guilty I made everyone cry! I'm glad you liked the flashback. I was afraid people wouldn't like it, but everyone seemed to! ) Thanks for the kudos! I'm not worthy of the 'you are too good to stop now' seriously, I'm not! Don't fret; though this is the end, a new story is coming soon.

**Magentabear – **Every time I see an update of Mother's Footsteps, I cheer. Seriously. Moving on. Thank you times ten for the kudos on subplots, novel length and realistic characters. ) I'm glad you like! I know a lot of people have taken a bit to get used to the new Grace I write. I'm trying to keep her fierce attitude, but let her open up because realistically the more she lets in the more she's going to change…in my mind at least. Unfortunately you won't get to see Ryan's torture until the next story, if you're still addicted after this chapter. Response to sidenote: Dogma is the truest philosophical movie about religion ever. I didn't consciously model Collier after the 'angels' in the movie, but subconsciously it's possible. Random from me: My favorite quote from that movie is Salma Hayek when she said "When are you people going to learn? It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet, and they never will because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains need to wake up." Because it's so true! Anyway…moving on! Thank you for the kudos! I'm thrilled you like it! (And I'm dying to read more of yours!)

**MdM79 – **Hey! Thank you thank you for the kudos! ) I'm sorry I made you (and everyone) cry! I feel so bad! I'm sorry to hear you went to a funeral. I attended one in the beginning of July that was heart wrenching. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for the song kudos too. Before I forget, thanks about the H/G convo in ch. 15, I'm glad you liked that and the part with G/L about the relationship and not breaking up! ) Much love!

**P.S. – A third story will be up and running soon. It will have more Ryan confrontations, more tension, and probably more crying…but also happy things! I love all my readers and my lovely reviewers! Thank you from my heart for sticking with me! All my responses to any reviews left on this final chapter will be at the bottom of the first chapter of the next story! Until then my friends (and foe), much love (and hate) to you and yours! Also, leave me any ideas, song suggestions, or complaints that you want me to fix for the next story! Thanks again! Ciao!**


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